Chereads / Raiden's Storm (ASOIAF) / Chapter 47 - Confession

Chapter 47 - Confession

"Since you're the King now…" One of the kids said, tapping their chin in thought. She then pointed at Margaery, who stood by my side "Does that mean she's the queen?"

I chuckled, exchanging looks with Margaery.

"There is no queen as of yet, sweet girl." Margaery smiled, shaking her head as she knelt down beside her.

"Why not? Every King should have a queen."

"Well, the little lady who is meant to marry him isn't old enough yet." Margaery explained patiently, brushing her hair. "I believe she's practicing with swords as of now."

"Swords? Isn't that for knights and lords?"

"Some ladies are special." Margaery smiled, looking at Brienne. "Take Brienne of Tarth for example."

"An especially capable warrior, indeed." I agreed.

Brienne nodded rather humbly. 

"Maybe I can practice too…"

I looked at her... she could practice, but it was unlikely to do her any good in the long run.

"Don't mind Elen, Your Grace." Her mother smiled, pulling the girl away. "She is a curious girl."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "It's quite alright."

Margaery was a natural with smallfolk, from the elderly to the children. She charmed almost the entire village in a single day. I wouldn't even blame people for believing that she was the Queen. She gave a strong impression of a kind, refined and sweet lady.

I went on to spend the day in the village, from helping out with the day-to-day work to teaching some of the boys a thing or two about fighting. It was satisfying to see the development of my settlement. Like planting a seed and returning to a blossoming little plant.

Before night came, I did my usual exercises… and more. Sparring every knight in my company with warhammer and sword, sniping targets from well over five hundred paces, sprinting laps in full plate, pulling myself up from a tree (unfortunately, I broke a few branches... I'm a heavy bastard), sit-ups, push-ups... I was doing everything.

By the time I finished, man's was smelling like Pisswater Bend and I felt tired for once. Though, some might see my smell as a more 'manly odour'. Margaery had been latching on to me for most of the day, though I didn't mind. She tended to make most things better. So did Sansa and Arianne accompany me, the latter of whom had been flirting with me at every opportunity.

I took to my temporary quarters, a house I had helped build. I was taking this time of peace to think about what to do with Arianne's advances... her persistence had only grown since the night with Margaery. Clearly, she believed that the metaphorical 'flood gates' had opened.

That was not at all the case.

Raiden Shogun looked at me, her violet gaze observing me carefully. She hadn't spoken for a while. As for me, I hadn't spoken to her at all... not since my resignation. 

"What are you thinking about?" She questioned, floating towards me.

I glanced away.

"There's no one to hear us." She remarked, tilting her head slightly. "Or is this your way of getting back at me? It's rather childish, Edric. As I am now, all I have to offer are words. However, if you continue to ignore me... then I might as well not even exist."

"What do you want me to say to you?" I shrugged, looking back at her.

"Maybe answer my question?"

"What gives you right to my thoughts?"

"... You seem to forget who gave you the magic you twirl around so carelessly." Raiden Shogun's tone became cold as she stared down at me. "The blessing that lifted you to the grounds you stand upon today."

"No... I've not forgotten. Not at all." I shook my head. "If all goes well, your resurrection is pretty much fated due to my appetite for battle. What happens after that... well, you'll be free from me. Do whatever you want, go wherever you like. You'll have your freedom, as I once promised."

"Free from you?" She remarked, her expression relaxing.

"Yes..." I chuckled. "You won't be chained to me anymore—free as a bird."

"... I see." She slowly nodded. "Is that what you wish for?"

"A life for a life is fair, no?" I managed to smile, turning away from her. "You could consider my debt paid."

"Edric... it was a mistake," Raiden admitted. "You know how I feel about you. At that point in time, I did what I thought was right... and stood by that decision for a time. You're strong now, yes, but I never thought your heart would break as it did. Because of me, you're always suffering on the inside. Fighting yourself... and I... don't know how to make it right."

"Truly... I don't..."

I took a deep breath, looking at the wall. I didn't know what to say to her. Part of me wanted to tell her to shut her mouth, the other didn't. That other half wanted to embrace her and say everything would be okay. The hopeful half, the one that would bend over backwards for her...

I shook my head.

"Edric... forgive me."

She floated before me, her pale, ethereal hands phasing through my face.

"... Don't." I stepped back.

"I've always had the choice to fade into nothing... even now, I could..." She shook her head. "But... I have no desire to, even as you turn me away. It's not because I seek to live, to have that body you promised me. I don't care about that... for it would all be worthless without you."

"What I seek... is a future with you." 

"... Why?" I questioned.

"I could speak on it all day..." Her lips curled into a smile. "But... the main reason is that you are everything I am not. You cherish others, willing to stake your life for those you love. You want nothing more than to be free... yet you understand your duty to the Realm and put that first before your desires. You inspire all those around you, making them fight out of love - not fear."

"You work relentlessly to better yourself, struggling time and time again... until you succeed. You take triumph in your growth and victories, yet that never stops you from seeking even greater heights. Each time you fall, you come to rise again... stronger. You are the very opposition of eternity, an ordinary man who transformed and surpassed himself repeatedly."

"You are human... and that's the most beautiful thing about you."

It was as if she had grasped my heart once more, taking it for herself. I couldn't find the right words to say. I was at a loss, just as she was when I slashed my hand and resigned myself from her service.

… No. I won't fall for it.

"I see..." She slowly nodded, breaking the silence between us. "I am unworthy of being by your side... especially with how I've been. Truth be told, our differences make us an unlikely pair in many ways, and... so perfect in others. Through you, I can become a better person. I can learn what it truly means to be... human. I can grow as you have."

"... Yes." I nodded in agreement, yet keeping an indifferent tone. "You can."

"..." Her usually violet eyes lit up a brighter lilac. "And I will... by the love that I hold for you."

"It shouldn't be out of love. You should want it for yourself."

"... I suppose you would be right."

Not soon after, I made my decision.

I would handle her when she approached me next.

...

"I wonder... what made you accept Kingship?" Margaery asked, turning to me as we walked around the village the following day. "By how the crown suits you, one could not even imagine that you would have denied it once."

"This." I spread open my arms, looking around.

"This?"

"As a bastard, I had no real power. Everything I possessed, I had to earn. This village was built on my archery contest winnings—built by the people who wanted a new home. I helped create their vision. Now... isn't it rather small?"

"It's quite impressive for a new settlement..."

"But it's no Highgarden," I added, smiling slightly. "Or Storm's End, Casterly Rock, Winterfell. It's just a little village that isn't even marked on the majority of maps."

"Mn..." She nodded. "That is true."

"As King... I can build great monuments that can stand tall against the test of time, rally armies at will, change the very laws that men abide by, shape these lands in my image... my visions can be so, so, much grander."

"And... I can punch anyone I dislike." I chuckled. "Or whack them with my Warhammer."

"That's the most important privilege of all." Margaery smiled, playing along with my jest.

"Aye... it's good to be King." I smiled, nodding. "There are aspects I dislike, of course... but that's life. Nothing is ever perfect."

"What do you dislike, in that case?"

"Well... the assassination attempts, for one. Having to be paranoid about what I drink and eat all the time. Walking around like a maniac trying to hammer down rebellions... that's another aspect. Though, I do enjoy battle..."

Margaery chuckled. "The rebellions are at an end now, Your Grace."

"Well, there's still a dragon lady with three dragons who thinks my crown should be hers."

Oh, and Mr 'Aegon'. God knows what he is; Blackfyre, Targaryen or something else entirely. 

"I have no doubt you would promptly crush those notions... should she cross the Known World."

"Mn... mayhaps." I changed the topic. "There's another aspect, and that would be the constant attention. I can't take a piss without someone hearing about it. Nor can I walk around without an entourage of at least a dozen men... or ladies. The Gods know I have no desire for so many ladies constantly vying for my attention..."

"Why, you are a most remarkable person, Your Grace." Margaery smiled, looking at me. "It's only natural that they would seek even a moment of your time."

I simply nodded, not trying to stroke my own ego. Everyone already did it for me.

There was also my betrothal to Arya Stark... which wasn't terrible, but she definitely wasn't my first choice for a future wife. There were some other smaller things I didn't like, too. However, I didn't want to make it seem like I was complaining about my position.

Kingship was a duty I had wholeheartedly accepted at this point.

~

After a day in the village, Edric moved on to Arthur's home castle which was only a few days' ride away from Storm's End. He sent back most of his entourage and rode alongside his friend. They had hunted some game in between, with Edric focusing more on his horse archery. It reminded him of simpler times.

"Oh, my boy... he's all grown and shining white!" Arthur's mother embraced him strongly, making him chuckle out of embarrassment. "It's been too long, my sweet child..."

Arthur smiled, nodding. "A lot of things happened..."

"You don't say, dear brother. You're one of the most famed knights in all the Realm. Ser Arthur of the Kingsguard, the Knight of Nightfall." His older brother praised him, patting his shoulder. "I've even heard songs about you."

"Oh, really?" Arthur blinked, chuckling. "I'm honoured, truly-"

"Woah, Arthur is really white!"

His baby sister came in, tugging on his cape. He laughed and picked her up.

"Oh... aren't you growing quickly?" Arthur remarked, smiling as he pinched her nose.

"Mhm. One day, I'll be bigger than my big brothers."

"Oh, really?" Arthur chuckled. "I look forward to that."

"It's good to have you home, my son. You have made us all proud with your achievements." Lord Tudbury nodded, looking behind Arthur. "Alas, I do not see His Grace. Did he let you leave his side?"

"I wouldn't dare break my oath," Arthur said, shaking his head. "And no... he's right here."

Edric sighed, removing his hood and stepping before their entourage.

"Your Grace!"

In the blink of an eye, everyone kneeled. He chuckled, turning to Arthur.

"And that's why I wore the silly cloak. This reunion was about you... not me."

"You are too considerate, Your Grace." Arthur smiled, shaking his head. "I am happy to see my family, regardless of whether you take all the attention. Given your station and fame, it is only natural for you to do so."

"Hm..." Edric smiled. "Don't argue with me, Ser. Go on and enjoy yourself. You've more than earned it."

~

When Edric returned to Storm's End after his little journey, he was met with a not-so-pleased Arya Stark. She didn't even welcome his return, staying in the yard and practising. He had to approach her himself.

"Hard at practice, huh?" Edric smiled, nodding. "That's good, I suppose."

"Why don't you go sleep with Margaery some more?" 

"Is that an invitation?" Edric questioned with a slight grin, poking the nest a little. She mentioned it first, after all.

Arya turned to him and pointed Needle at him.

"The only invitation you'll get from me is this pointy end." She frowned.

"It might tickle," Edric observed, tilting his head as he towered over her. "In truth, I did not mean to-"

She stepped forward and aimed to slash at him.

'Well, she is a wild one.'

Edric's instincts kicked in, and he dodged, drawing his sword.

"That's one way of saying you want a spar."