Anger.
What Chi Cheng felt from the mention of his ex-lover's name was anger in it's raw, untamed state. The heat rushing to his face was no longer out of embarrassment, rather it was a burning grudge that made him clench his fists quietly at his side.
However, appearing as if the Grandmaster's question didn't bother him, Chi Cheng's usually calm expression flattened. He glanced over his shoulder silently and slowly at the Grandmaster.
His eyes narrowed dangerously, eyeing Han Xuelian as if he despised him with every fibre of his being at that moment.
Yet his expression was unreadable; his anger coiling within him.
Chi Cheng's raging silence was enough to remind the Grandmaster that his curiosity touched on a sensitive topic. However, rather than remembering Han Yijun's dreadful assault, Chi Cheng recalled all the painful moments when his ex-lover refused to touch or embrace him.
Memories of Han Yijun's hesitancy and his petty excuses flooded the younger male's mind, and it suddenly dawned on him that his ex-lover simply detested the idea of touching him intimately.
He never wanted to touch or hold him in the first place.
The Grandmaster distanced himself cautiously, astonished by Chi Cheng who seemed to be visibly fighting back an outburst of his anger.
He had never witnessed such unchecked anger subtly ooze from someone who looked completely graceful and composed at the same moment; especially a person who was always light-hearted and easily embarrassed.
'I shouldn't have said that…' The Grandmaster mentally scolded himself, regretting his choice of words. 'Why should it even matter to me if you shared these touches with Yijun?'
Without a word or retort to the Grandmaster's question, Chi Cheng casually slipped on his robes and rose to his feet. When Han Xuelian reached for his hand, he immediately pulled away.
"If there is nothing else you need, I will return to my room." Chi Cheng stated nonchalantly, his words were flat without emotion but there was a sharpness to them. "I am weary and I prefer the comfort of my own bed."
Before Han Xuelian could reply or object, Chi Cheng swiftly took his leave; a subtle limp to his movements but he was adamant about stomping his way out.
The Grandmaster sighed wearily, running a hand furiously through his hair. The throbbing from earlier that was calmed by Chi Cheng's hands seemed to return.
Vexed by his impulsive question, he didn't understand why his nephew's past relationship with Chi Cheng irked him.
The night he rescued Chi Cheng from Han Yijun's clutches, guilt constantly gnawed at him. He thought himself culpable for Han Yijun's actions; disappointed in himself for not raising his nephew better.
'Should I have taken Yijun with me? Maybe he would have turned out better.' The Grandmaster laid back on the bed, resting an arm over his eyes. 'But if it wasn't for Yijun, would I have had a reason to be around you Chi Cheng?'
Drowning in the conflict of his thoughts, Han Xuelian remained silent and still for a long while.
On the contrary, Chi Cheng strolled along the stone bridge outside in the area where the halls were built. Chilled by the cold night, he rested his arms over the bridge's rail, leaning over.
In the lake's clear reflection was the luminescence of the moon and the reflection of his face that seemed to waver with the water's slow ripples. Outstretching a hand, he allowed the raining snowflakes to settle in the middle of his palm.
'I should be used to this by now…' Chi Cheng sighed.
The question and rush of memories from a few moments ago only roused morbid events from his past life. Closing his eyes, he vividly remembered how his enemies shackled him in a desolate dungeon. He could still feel the roughness of their touches and hands that raked all over his body.
For many days and nights on end, they took turns to ravish his body for their goals. And when their barbaric efforts did not reap their desired results from him, they resorted to torture.
Eventually, when their failure to make use of him as their breeder sunk in, they opted to turn him into a deadly war beast.
'I suppose I still haven't gotten over those days… my fear remains…'
Smiling sadly at his reflection in the lake, Chi Cheng inhaled a deep breath to calm himself and collect his thoughts.
At the same time, around the corner of one of the estate halls that was close to the stone bridge, Han Yijun observed Chi Cheng from the shadows. Staring at the ruby accessory in the palm of his hand, his fingers enclosed around it tightly before his gaze flickered back to Chi Cheng.
Clutching his sword tightly in his left hand, Han Yijun's fingers anxiously tapped at the hilt.
'He obviously came from Grandmaster Han's room… but why does he look so angry?' Han Yijun pondered, carefully watching Chi Cheng's actions. 'I'm sure he'll be happy to see this…' He looked at the ruby accessory in his possession again.
Mustering his courage and inhaling a deep breath, Han Yijun returned the accessory to the confines of his robe's sleeve. He emerged from the shadows, quietly approaching Chi Cheng who didn't seem to be paying attention to his surroundings.
Tapping Chi Cheng on the shoulder, Han Yijun moved closer to ensure the shorter male couldn't escape his embrace.
"Bastard…" Turning around swiftly, Chi Cheng hissed through clenched teeth.
Han Yijun was the last person he wanted to see at that moment.
"Such crude words come out of your mouth these days," Han Yijun remarked cheekily, snorting. "You won't even greet me properly?"
"Wretches don't deserve greetings…" Chi Cheng's lower back pressed against the bridge's railing when Han Yijun invaded his personal space. "I have nothing to say to you so let me be on my way."
"Oh?" Han Yijun raised a brow, retrieving the ruby accessory from his hanfu sleeve. He held it high, dangling it in the air out of Chi Cheng's reach. "It's a shame, I thought you might want this back."
Chi Cheng's eyes flared dangerously wide when he recognized his ruby earrings in Han Yijun's possession.
"How did you get this?" Chi Cheng's head perked up defiantly, eyeing his ex-lover intensely.