"I don't like him. He is not a genuine person." Valleria glanced at me as she took another bite of that piece of sweet pastry I brought.
"As most nobles." I agreed.
"Be careful of his intentions, my love. Don't entwine with some affairs we are unable to manage. Our army is a weak, unorganized mess."
"You are underestimating them too much." I shook my head and explained "I have several groups of generals, traveling through districts, training any man who is fit to fight. They are told the best of them will be able to join the guards in the capitol."
"You are training them so they will have a bigger chance to survive in case you would need to use them in a battle?" Valleria tilted her head like a cat, trying to understand my motives.
"It's genius," she breathed out before I was able to correct her. "It will motivate them and allow a healthy competition. It's a great idea." Valleria praised me and squeezed my cheek.
"I just wanted to have a cheaper option other than hiring mercenaries. But sure, your reasons sound better. I'll use that from now on."
"Max, do you think I'm pregnant already?" she suddenly interrupted my line of thoughts.
"It would be nice. But we don't have to rush. It will come sooner or later." I smiled, thinking that she was simply curious.
"No, I mean - " she hushed a bit and sat up to be able to look at me. "I talked with Ivanna, the older one from my maids. I said we are trying for a baby and that she will have more work soon and she laughed, saying I'll be a mother before the snow melts in March. That's not possible, right? It's just about 5 months from now."
Could she be with a child already? Her body seemed to be the same. I frowned and started to count in my head. It's autumn. November, to be exact.
'What did I do to her in June, it ended up with such a blessing?' I wondered when it dawned on me. We spend over a weak fucking like rabbits right by the battlefield, unbothered by any possible consequences.
I didn't even try to pull out once, overwhelmed by the dedication she showed by joining me. And - also - by the fact I was left without her for weeks before she willingly allowed me to use her body as much as I needed. And she was also quite eager…
"Max?" Her quiet mumble hit my ear and I couldn't help but lie down by her side, resting my head on her thighs with arms wrapped around her hips.
A quiet "I'm glad." were the only words I was able to say. Her gentle fingers caressed my hair and I just stared at the pristine white sheets.
This is what I wanted. Why am I anxious?
"What if I became a horrible father, Valleria? I hated mine so much it was unbearable. I was scared of him as a child and I resented him when I grew up."
"Well -" she got quiet for a few moments before continuing, "I am sure your father never cared about being a horrible father. You do. And that's what matters."
"I never asked about your parents. I always stopped halfway, worried you would get mad at me. Or sad."
"They were always kind to me. My father - my real father, was a calm and wise man, but he saw danger behind every corner. I was denied to go out in winter, and I couldn't touch a dog or step into a stable." she tried to recall her memories and as she did, I could hear from her voice how she smiled without looking at her "He died in a battle, serving in your father's cavalry. Sixteen years ago, I barely remember his face." she sighed and we remained quiet for a moment, but she continued just as I wanted to apologize for my father's crimes.
"It's all in the past now. I want to focus on this moment. On me and you." she whispered.