What had just happened? Did she refuse me? I leaned against the railing and looked out into the garden. She kissed me back. She did. I touched my lips. She kissed me back, tentatively, but she really did. I must see her. Now, before she manages to think of something stupid.
I walked out of the hall and headed straight to her room.
"Out, everyone out." I shooed her maids half-loudly as I burst into her rooms unannounced. I crossed the room slowly so as not to make her more nervous with my proximity. She stood by the table, her back oddly tense, watching me before the maids left.
"I can't. I can't do this, Max." She said in a shaky voice, "Don't make this harder for me, I'm begging you... I'll go somewhere in the countryside so I won't be a burden to you anymore. I can't bear it..." she shook her head, trying in every way possible to keep her face.
I squinted my eyes and watched her. She was distraught, but the desperation in her voice was clear.
"Valleria," I addressed her softly, "what are you talking about? What can't you do? I don't understand you."
"You're getting married." She said with a sad undertone in her voice, "I heard Marco talking about it with another nobleman. On Wednesday, when the tournament was held. You're getting married and I can't bear the idea of you with another."
I stood like a scalded man, utterly unable to think. Is she - jealous?
"I thought you were feeling the same way. All the time you've given me, the looks and touches..." She paused briefly "I hoped you loved me half as much as I loved you. That you cared for me, that you wanted me like I wanted you..." She turned her back and tilted her head to keep from crying "Why is this so terribly hard? I thought it wouldn't hurt so much."
"You're brave." I said, approaching her cautiously "but completely wrong." I had to smile.
"Don't you dare laugh at me." She hissed and raised her fingers to her eyes.
"Valleria, look at me." I said softly and gently turned her towards me "I'm getting married. And you're getting married. There is no other woman, I'm marrying you. I've been waiting for you to be ready and to tolerate me enough to consent to marriage." I wiped her wet eyes with my thumbs "I wanted to have the major things ready for the ceremony before I ask you. So we wouldn't have to wait so long. I mean, more like, so you wouldn't have time to change your mind." I admitted then reluctantly, "I won't settle for any other. Not as a man, not as a king. Everyone loves you. Wherever you step, you bring joy and peace. You're so kind, I couldn't ask for a better woman. Marry me, be mine!" I said urgently, though I had promised myself before coming that I would not force her.
"I am so stupid." She clutched her head to my chest and tried not to sob.
"You're adorable. I'm so glad you told me." I comforted her, softly stroking her back.
"Hmm." She whimpered softly and clenched her fingers on my shoulders.
"Hmm what?" I waited tensely.
"I'll marry you." She laughed in a shaky voice, hiding her face in my shirt.
My chest ached, I felt like I was drunk on happiness. She's going to marry me. She'll be mine. I gently stroked her back. Mine.
"You must be tired to death. I'll go, I'll let you sleep, I'll take care of everything tomorrow." I pressed my lips into her hair and gently pulled away from her before my own body betrayed me. "Will you have breakfast with me? I'll come to you." I asked before I walked away with a smile.
"She agreed." I said quietly with a goofy smile to Peter and started walking towards my chambers.
I would have jumped around the room with excitement if it weren't for the servant standing obligingly at the door. I changed my clothes and stretched out in bed, but was back on my feet in no time. I can't sleep. The blood was rushing through my veins that I could hear it gurgling in my ears.
I sat down at my desk and pulled out the parchments. I should write some invitations myself. Right now... I said to myself and began.
After midnight, I was disturbed by a knock. I waved to a servant to open it and see what was going on. He stood in the doorway for a moment, then bowed and stepped aside.
Valleria entered, in her night gown, tiny slippers, and wrapped in a quilted blanket.
A chill ran down my spine. She hadn't changed her mind, had she?