Prince Archive Order.
Often referred to as PAO, was the perfect game for someone like me who loves waifu-collecting gacha games.
Exceptional character art.
Lifelike 2D animations.
A stacked cast of well-known voice actors.
And graphics that completely immerse the player.
With the previous IP of the series failing majestically, and this installment being developed by a new studio, it had a bumpy start. However, they brought in a respected scenario writer within the industry, which began the hype train.
I was worried they would have some weird clauses in the privacy policies, like going through your contacts and all, but thankfully that wasn't the case.
A masterpiece of a game indeed…
is what anyone would have thought, but after spending $300 on my first round of gacha pulls, I changed my mind instantly.
(This game exists to suck out the money of its players!)
(This is the scummiest business model I've ever seen. You're supposed to run character and equipment gachas at the same time!)
(Well, at least they give you a lot of free shit in the beginning…)
If they hadn't given you enough credits to do 50 pulls at the beginning, I would've requested a refund through the app store and made a new account.
The only consolation was the fact that I got one of the early must-haves through the free rolls. If it wasn't for that character, I would've suffered while playing the game.
But what's the point in talking about this dogshit game now?
I'm the scion of the story either way.
"...Louie."
Louie Permarten.
The sole heir of the Permarten earldom.
They are the rightful owners of Permarten, the labyrinth city.
With a 1-star rating and a name that sounds eerily close to 'loser', he was designed to be the community's punching bag.*
Server maintenance? Fucking hell, Louie.
Bad pulls for gacha? Eat shit, Louie.
The newly dropped characters have bad stats? They're Louie's friends.
On top of having a shitty personality, his in-game stats are amongst the worst and are consequently the subject of any negative meme in the community.
Even the players who skip through the story take a moment to savour every single piece of dialogue where he dies, which they then use as a good luck charm whenever they're about to pull.
LDA—Louie Dies Again. I personally have watched his death as a sort of ritual before every gacha pull.
And now I'm him.
Luxurious blond curls that flow all the way down to his waist— which irks every player—and the frame of a regular man who doesn't exercise, alongside a slight beer belly.
The only thing he has to brag about—
"What the fuck…? I guess there was a reason why he was going around fucking everyone and everything on Pixiv."
He has the dick to surpass all 5-stars.
It's not like it's big enough to hang below the knees, but it was big enough to reach the end of any regular woman, with a couple of centimetres to spare.
"It's fucking huge…"
Seeing how he had a bigger dick made me unhappy, but it's now mine—
Whack!
I slapped myself.
No.
I can't be enticed by his dick and accept that I'm now Louie.
Even if he is the sole heir of the Permarten earldom!
Even if he has the power to sway the entire labyrinth city with his words!
Even if he has the 'Droit du seigneur' that even playable characters could not oppose directly!*
Even if he has a humongous dick!
I cannot become Louie, because Louie is destined to die.
Not in a substory, but the 'main story'.
Jealous of the power and resources the Permartens enjoy through the labyrinth city, the Empire invades and Louie is killed.
Permarten is saved from the clutches of the Empire by the player character and their adventurers.
That's a rough summary of the main story's first part.
Therefore, I'm currently nothing but the annoying side character that the player's character has to overcome in order to reach their true potential.
To list his evil deeds…
(It showed up in my final pull with a 3-star's pull effect.)
"Should I just kill him?"
The first misdeed that came to mind warrants the death sentence—a gacha event, specifically the one I poured everything I had into, was ruined by him.
That alone is enough for me to sentence him to death, but I guess that's who I am now.
"Having a big dick doesn't excuse everything… Wait…"
A big dick.
The one that can get its way in Permarten.
Until I die and this place gets handed over to the Empire or the player character…
"I'm… technically the king?"
Technically speaking, there's the lord of the house above me—Countess 'Jennis Permarten', my mother, and a 3-star character in PAO.
Having inherited the Permarten estate in an arranged marriage with the previous earl, she was only a countess in name and had no talent in reigning over the labyrinth city.
And so, the estate is run by the scion, Louie, which makes him the de facto leader of the house.
The privilege to enter the Infinite Labyrinth, the countless adventurers who try their luck in there, the magic stones, the gems, and the loot from dead monsters, are all under the influence of House Permarten.
No one is even allowed to approach the Infinite Labyrinth without their permission.
"...I guess I have quite a bit of power."
Who cares if the character has stats crawling on the floor?
I have a big dick—No, a big amount of power.
I have the power to fuck any woman in this land with nothing but a command.
In the Labyrinth City, I am the law, and therefore, I am god.
Why?
That's because…
The labyrinth city will perish without the blood of the Permartens.
I became part of a family cursed with a labyrinth.
In the past, the Permartens made a deal with the devil and were cursed with a seemingly endless labyrinth-dungeon formed under Castle Permarten.
The labyrinth spawned countless monsters which could be harvested for profit.
After analyzing the situation, the archmage decreed that those whose bodies contained the blood of House Permarten shall not leave the city until the labyrinth has been fully explored.
Huh? That means…
(As long as the Permarten bloodline continues, we can infinitely harvest resources from the labyrinth…?)
(I guess… that's true?!)
As long as it's managed correctly, we'll have an infinite source of resources!
(If you don't listen to my demands then there'll be no magic stones for you! Are you threatening me?! This will all be over if I kill myself, you bastards!)
Due to the first Permarten's gamble, all the successors of House Permarten have since held unrivalled influence and power within the Labyrinth City.
And I am the latest Permarten.
If I die, the labyrinth dies with me.
The reason Louie was killed in the game's story was because the former earl had 2 illegitimate children out of wedlock.
One in the Empire, one accompanying the player.
In the main story, both of those bastard children eventually band together with the player to sustain and then clear the labyrinth in order to free themselves from the curse.
"...I'm fucked."
As of now, I'm fucked.
"I skipped through everything."
Main story.
Sub story.
Those were nothing but crystal farms.
What? A good story?
A fully dubbed animation?
You can marathon it once you clear everything.
That's what I thought, never glancing at the story again.
I only know bits and pieces.
There's one thing that I know for sure—
Louie dies.
This character was marked for death from the start, which means I need to get rid of things that contribute to my ending.
First, those two bastards are somewhere in the city.
I know those two well.
One eventually accompanies the player through the story, and the other is a good-to-have 3-star character.
One accompanies the player, and the other isn't quite a must-have, but allows the player to live a life above slavery in the labyrinth city.
These two.
As long as I can get those two on my side… But, worst case scenario…
"There are a lot of 3-stars."
Unfortunately for them, I'm a selfish bastard.
I'll do whatever it takes to survive.
And currently the biggest threat to my continued existence.
"...'Adventurer'."
The player.
Once a commander of countless women in my harem, and now, my enemy.
"Haa… This is going to be hard."
There are too many things to confirm.
I need to figure out where I am in this story, what situation I'm in, and most importantly…
"Status window!"
"Sire…?"
"...Ah, Amy?"
My personal maid walked in, pushing a cart loaded with my breakfast.
Possessing brown locks of hair, she worked as a maid under the Permartens.
An extra that would serve the player after I die.
Just a hardworking, regular person, just like me before.
"...Hey, Amy."
"Yes…?"
Only one thing left to check—
"Lift your skirt up. What colour are your panties?"
the extent of my power.
◇◇◇
*TLN: Original Korean name for the scion is LooJi, while the Korean transliteration of 'loser' is something like LooJuh.
*TLN: 'Droit du seigneur', lit. right of the lord, was a supposed legal right in medieval Europe, allowing feudal lords to have sexual relations with subordinate women, in particular, on the wedding nights of the woman.