8th
It rained this morning.
A quiet shower, but frigid like the depths of winter.
I yearn to live for my ideals.
I strive for my ideals. I move forward without fear, without fatigue, without hesitation.
Neither dreams nor honor will be pursued-for how euphoric it can be to solely devote oneself to
quotidian tasks.
The Armed Detective Agency's office sits at the top of a slope near Yokohama's port. It's a
reddish-brown brick building with years of wear and tear, and its rain gutters and lampposts are
sheathed in rust from the rough sea breeze. But despite its appearance, it's so sturdily built that
even machine-gun artillery fire from the outside wouldn't cause any damage to the interior. That
may sound oddly specific, but it's happened to us.
In any event, our detective agency is situated on the fourth floor. The other floors are occupied
by proper tenants. There's a café on the first floor- and a law firm on the second. The third is
vacant, and the fifth is used for miscellaneous storage. The café takes good care of me right
before payday comes, and I'm at the law firm asking for help every time there's some legal
trouble at work.
I take the building's elevator to the fourth floor, get off, and stand before the office. On the door
is a plate with the words ARMED DETECTIVE AGENCY written in simple, fine brushstrokes. I
check my watch. I still have forty seconds before work starts at eight o'clock.
Looks like I got here a little early.
Punctuality is my philosophy. Flipping through my notebook as I wait, I double-check today's
schedule. I already checked once during breakfast, once after leaving the dormitory, and once
while waiting for the light to change, but I've never heard of anyone dying from excessive
confirmation of their schedule. I read my notebook, ruminating on my work plans, then glance at
my watch one more time as I adjust my shirt collar.
Perfect.
"Good morning."
I open the door.
"Oh, Kunikida! Good morning! Take a look at this! It's incredible!"
I'm suddenly greeted by a grinning Dazai on the threshold.
"At last, I've made it! Ah, and what a sweet world it is! This is Yomotsu Hirasaka, the gateway
to the afterlife! Look, it's just as I imagined! The blue smoke covering the surface, the moonlight
peeking in through the window, the pink elephant dancing in the westerly skies...!"
He dances in front of the office door with wild gesticulations.
What a pain in the ass.
"Heh-heh-heh-heh! I just knew that Complete Suicide book would be a masterpiece! And to
think, all it took to achieve such a simple yet pleasurable suicide was to ingest a mushroom
growing along the mountain path! How wonderful! Ah-ha-ha!"
Dazai's eyes are slightly twitching and unfocused.
"K-Kunikida, please do something!" a staff member begs, teary-eyed.
I guess it's safe to assume that Dazai's been like this all morning. I glance at his desk and see the
blasphemous book he bought the other day, The Complete Suicide, opened to a page titled 'Death
by Poisoning: Mushrooms.' Next to the book lies a plate with a half-eaten mushroom on it.
However, upon further inspection, it appears to be a slightly different color from the one in the
book.
"Come, Kunikida! Join me in the underworld! See, here the alcohol flows freely, and you can
help yourself to as much food as you'd like! You can sniff beautiful women until you're blue in
the face!"
"Please help, Kunikida; we've tried everything we could..."
Quite simply, the mushroom he ingested wasn't the fatal kind but rather the hallucinogenic type.
However, that doesn't matter to me.
I always do things in the same order each and every morning. If I didn't follow my morning
schedule as planned, would I still be able to finish my day's work on time? The answer is no. I
head to my desk, ignoring my crying coworker and that prancing imbecile. I set down my bag
just as I always do. I boot up my computer and, as per usual, open the window.
"Whoa! There's a giant sea anemone outside the window, Kunikida! A banana... It's eating a
banana! And it's even removing the white stringy bits!"
"Oh, I've got it. I need to take off my clothes. I need to get naked to get higher ratings! It's
simple, really! Let us undress! After that, we can all put on full-body tights, go to the bank, and
dance the hopak!"
I check the telegraph rack just like always, then take a sip of my coffee.
"I can hear voices... Ohhh...! They're in- They're in my head! The tiny man is whispering to me
to go to Kyoto! That's where they have the best miso tofu-"
I land a roundhouse kick to the back of Dazai's head, knocking him against the wall andrendering him unconscious.
***
It was only four days ago when this failure of a human being became my colleague.
"A new employee?"
That day, I had been filing some paperwork when the president called me into his office.
He told me they had hired a new investigator, so he wanted me to look after him.
It was unexpected. Admittedly, the Armed Detective Agency profits from violence and deals
with life-threatening work, but I've never heard anything about being short on staff. I'm even able
to hold a second job working as an algebra instructor at Shin-Tsuruya Institute twice a week.
Granted, there has been an increase in cases that require armed personnel, such as the 'Azure
Banner Terrorist,' the 'Serial Disappearances of Yokohama Visitors,' and our feud with the
underground organization known as the Port Mafia. Honestly, we've been getting so many
dangerous job offers of late that even our top detective, Ranpo, would have a hard time covering
them all on his own. Perhaps the president hired a new employee in anticipation of that.
"Let me introduce you. Come in."
The president faces the door after a few moments of contemplation and calls out to someone.
"Good afternoon."
A man smiles from ear to ear as he enters the room.
He's wearing a sand-colored coat and an open-collared shirt. He's tall and thin with disheveled
black hair, and while his unkempt appearance leaves much to be desired, he has somewhat
handsome features. I am slightly curious about the white bandages wrapped around his neck and
wrists, though.
"I'm Osamu Dazai, twenty years old. Nice to meet you."
Twenty, huh? He's the same age as me.
"I'm Kunikida. If there's anything you don't understand, I'm here to help."
"Oh, so you're a detective at the legendary Armed Detective Agency! It's an honor to meet you!"
He forcefully grabs my hand and shakes it in an exaggerated manner.
In that moment, I suddenly sense a cold, piercing light in his eyes, as if he were calmly
evaluating his senior-no, as if he were staring into my very soul through the eyes of a heavenly,
enlightened sage. However, it is only for a fleeting moment before his vacant expression returns. Was I seeing things? Could my mind have been playing tricks on me? I pull myself together.
"So, Dazai, what brings you to our detective agency? This kind of place won't take in just anyone
who asks."
"Yes, about that. I was at this pub-bored, unemployed-drunkenly complaining to myself when I
happened to hit it off with some old guy sitting next to me. He said he'd give me a job if I beat
him in a drinking contest. And, well, I jokingly went along with it but ended up winning."
Who is this 'Old guy'?
"It was Chief Taneda of the Special Division for Unusual Powers. He came by yesterday and
gave me the news," the president says with a straight face.
I find myself speechless when I hear him mention Chief Taneda's name so casually. Chief
Taneda is the top brass in the Home Affairs Ministry's Special Division for Unusual Powers, a
secret military agency unknown to the general public. His job is to control and regulate
information on skill users. I've even heard he provided support to our president in establishing
the Armed Detective Agency. That's why not even the president himself can refuse such a
referral.
"I really hope we can get along, Kunikida."
Our new hire gives me a toothy smile, perhaps oblivious of my internal apprehension.
***
However, being personally recommended by a prominent figure doesn't make you any less of a
nuisance when you're tripping on mushrooms this early in the morning.
Today marks three days since I was paired with Dazai.
I'm mentally exhausted, almost no work is getting done, and we're receiving more complaints by
the day. If I take my eyes off him for even a second, he'll either leap into a river and claim he
was trying to drown himself; get blackout drunk at a pub after what he calls a 'Pick-me-up'; or
chat up some pretty lady, saying he had a divine revelation. He's a twenty-year-old self-centered
man-child who throws a wrench in my schedule every chance he gets.
Having said that, work is work, and coworkers are coworkers. Admitting defeat after only three
days would damage not only the president's trust in me but my dignity as a detective as well.
"How's the newcomer?" the president asks while we play Go in a small tatami room near the
office.
"A disaster. Imagine the devil, a poltergeist, and the god of poverty all combined into one
entity."
I place a black Go piece on the cypress board with the distinctive click of rock sliding over
wood.
"But it's nothing I can't handle."
The president and I always play Go at the same place after work. He sits up straight, facing me
from across the board in the empty room.
"I appreciate it."
He then places a white Go piece on the board, pushing me into an unfavorable position.
"It's nothing. After all, this is what Chief Taneda wanted. But...why would he send a man like
that to our agency?" I ask while contemplating my next move.
Should I go for the white territory in the bottom right corner? I shouldn't. I'm having a hard
enough time making an approach move as it is. But if I try to hold out on the left side, it's only a
matter of time before he takes the center and the game is over. There's nothing I can do. It looks
like it's going to be a while before I'm a match for him.
"Chief Taneda may be a free-spirited individual, but he has a discerning eye when it comes to
remarkable talent. He must have sensed something unique in that boy."
I have heard rumors about his extraordinary judgment. After all, he wouldn't be the leader of the
Home Affairs Ministry's Special Division for Unusual Powers if he didn't. But 'Remarkable
talent'? You could shine alight in Dazai's left ear and see it come out the right.
"And I agree with Chief Taneda's decision. Osamu Dazai passed the written and field tests with
perfect scores. He is extremely capable-dangerously so, even."
"...What do you mean?"
"We looked into his past but found nothing. It's completely blank. I asked a close friend in the
military's intelligence department to check, but he couldn't find a single thing. Rather eerie, I
must say. It's as if someone very carefully wiped his background clean."
It is rather odd that even the military's intelligence department couldn't find anything.
"Maybe all he did was loaf around the house for the past twenty years?"
"Perhaps. Because otherwise..."
He frowns even deeper than usual before continuing.
"Have you heard about his skill?"
"Not yet."
I heard he was a skill user, but I didn't get the chance to ask about it.
"He can nullify any skill simply through physical contact."
I thought I was hearing things. Nullify skills on contact? At a glance, it may seem like nothing
special, but it's extremely rare. If properly utilized, it could be used to defeat an entire
organization of skill users. My skill, The Matchless Poet, allows me to materialize objects just by
writing them in my notebook, ripping out the page, and willing them into existence. However, I
cannot produce items larger than the notebook itself. While it's versatile and highly valuable, it
doesn't quite exceed the realm of convenience. That's because if I really needed something, I
could simply bring it with me before I went out.
But Dazai's skill is different. In theory, there are countless enemies only he can defeat. Even the
strongest skill user in the world is nothing more than an ordinary person before him. It would be
no surprise if organizations from all over the world gathered to recruit him. I'm slowly starting to
get what the president is trying to say.
"So...let me get this straight. At some pub, a tremendously important man like Chief Taneda just
happens to sit next to a genius skill user, and they just happen to hit it off. Then this oddball
happens to be sharp and gets a perfect score on his tests, but he also just happens to currently not
have a job. Then, just like that, he successfully joins the prohibitively selective Armed Detective
Agency without any trouble at all... Are you implying this is all a little too convenient?"
"Perhaps I am overthinking things, but the Armed Detective Agency has numerous connections
with government agencies and military personnel. We also handle a large amount of classified
information due to the nature of our work."
It would make sense for a member of a criminal organization to infiltrate a detective agency due
to their close ties to the police. There are plenty of advantages in joining a detective agency,
given how easy some are to get into. But Dazai, a spy? And one good enough to outwit someone
as distinguished as Chief Taneda? That Dazai?
"Kunikida, I want you to carry out his entrance exam."
I nod. The agency's 'Entrance exam' is a task assigned to detectives to give to prospective
employees. It's the real test, so to speak, and you will not be recognized as an actual employee if
you don't pass.
"I would like you to bring Dazai with you while you work and see if he can be trusted. If you
ever feel he could be an emissary, intelligence operative, or spy of some sort, then you are to fire
him without hesitation. However, if you sense any signs of wickedness in his heart..."
The president takes a black automatic pistol out from a bag behind him, then presents it to me.
"..."
I accept the gun without a word. It's heavy.
"Shoot him.
"Yes, sir."
If Dazai is part of some sinister scheme, then it would be the agency's duty to stop him before
things got out of hand. The Armed Detective Agency's licensed staff are granted police-like
authority. We're authorized to carry guns and knives under certain conditions, and we can even
pull records from police organizations. But above all, it allows us to commit unethical acts if we
wish to do so: meddle with said authorities' investigations, falsify police information, and even
wiretap or secretly film key facilities. At worst, one could even commit an act of terrorism and
sabotage these major facilities, resulting in the deaths of hundreds-if not thousands of
individuals.
The cold iron pistol sits motionless in my hand.
***
Rippling waves roll over the bay beneath a shower of moonlight as I walkthrough the crowd by
the Port of Yokohama. The sound of the ocean struggles to be heard over the hustle and bustle of
the evening, while the moon competes with the city lights. Dazai slowly bobs down the street
behind me.
We're finally able to start work after he wasted half a day with the whole mushroom fiasco.
"Hey, show me that skill of yours again. The Matchless Poet, was it?"
"No. One doesn't so casually reveal his skill. Besides, I have to tear a page out of my notebook
every time I use it. The artisan who makes these notebooks produces only a hundred of them a
year, and they're not cheap. Do you really think I'm going to waste a page just to entertain you?"
I check my watch before looking back at him.
"Anyway, Dazai, you need to walk a little faster. We're going to be late."
"What do you mean, late? I thought we didn't set a specific time to meetup with the informant?"
"No, I told them over the phone that we'd be there around Seven PM."
"Well, it's exactly seven now, and they're only about five minutes from here, so we won't be
late."
"That means we're already late, you idiot! According to my watch, 'Around seven PM' refers to
the twenty seconds between 18:59:50 and19:00:10!"
"You're the only one with a watch like that, Kunikida..." Dazai mumbles as he walks.
Incidentally, my watch uses specialized equipment to set itself to standard time every morning
when I wake up, so the margin of error is always under one second.
"We would've been done with most of our work today if a certain someone hadn't eaten a magic
mushroom. Don't you dare eat one of those again. And if you do, make sure it's the fatal kind."
"Ah, what a pleasurable experience that was."
"You're fine now, right? Still seeing pink elephants in the sky?"
"Elephants? Don't be silly-elephants can't fly. Those were purple elephant beetles I was seeing."
There's no hope for this guy. The more I talk to him, the more foolish I feel for ever having
doubts about him. A spy? Wickedness in his heart? The worst he could do is jump in front of a
train and screw up the rail schedule. At any rate, if Dazai does end up being nothing more than
an incompetent fool, then the solution is simple. I just have to get rid of him, which I would be
more than happy to do. But-
"Dazai, you remember our mission, right?"
"Exterminating the purple elephant beetles."
"...You know, I kind of get the feeling you're doing this on purpose."
"Ah-ha-ha. I kid. We're going to investigate a haunted mansion, right?"
His smiling face and casual demeanor cause me to scowl.
Yesterday, I received an e-mail with a request from a client. The message said the following:
Dear Sir,
I hope everyone at the Armed Detective Agency is doing well. I am contacting you in hopes of
asking you a favor. I understand that you are very busy. However, I was left with no other
choice.
To tell the truth, I would like you to investigate a certain building. It should be completely
uninhabited, yet night after night, I hear eerie groaning and whispering coming from within, and
I see a faint light flickering through the window. The other neighboring residents and I are so
terribly frightened, we can hardly sleep.
I understand that this is not a small request, but I would be forever in your debt if you could
check to see whether this is some sort of prank. Moreover, if this does happen to be a prank, then
I would appreciate it if you could explain how and why it is occurring.
While it is not much, I sent you a retainer fee for your services, so please have a look at your
earliest convenience. Furthermore, I ask that this request remain a secret between us. Thank you
for your understanding.
I wish everyone good health and the best of luck.
Yours sincerely.
It's a rather long-winded request, but its sender is essentially asking us to check out a building in
their neighborhood to see what all the strange noises are. Almost immediately after this e-mail
arrived, the agency received a letter in the mail containing the retainer fee. I verified the amount
to find that it was twice the market rate even after subtracting the planned expenses, which gave
us no reason to refuse. We will conduct our business as per usual.
There is one thing I'm worried about, though: The client didn't leave a name. It is not clear who
they are, where they live, or even how to get in touch with them. Perhaps that was intentional,
but we won't be able to report our findings if we cannot contact them. Thus, we have no choice
but to search for the client first.
"What if the client's some kind of vengeful spirit? Perhaps they've tricked us into coming to this
haunted mansion to eat us, and-"
"You fool. What kind of ghost story involves vengeful spirits writing e-mails?"
And I wouldn't be afraid if it ended up being a ghost anyway.
As we continue our idle banter, we end up heading to the warehouses at the port. The moonlight
reflects off the brick warehouses, dimly illuminating the cluster of buildings under the blanket of
night. We step foot into an old warehouse that's a size smaller than the rest. The ceiling is high,
and the plaster on the walls is peeling due to the ocean breeze. My nose is tickled by the smell of
iron machine parts and oil along with the old scent of dust and the passage of time. I ring the
office doorbell. There's a creaking sound as if iron is sliding against iron, and the electronic lock
clicks open.
"C'mon in."
Sure enough, a high-pitched voice welcomes us inside. We pass through a few heavy birch doors
that have been unlocked remotely before arriving at our destination.
The room is just shy of 380 square feet. Machinery and electronics run across the floor and up
the walls, the blinking diodes illuminating the dusky room. In the center stands a collection of
computers with fans whirring like growling wolves. There are four LCD panels on the desk, each
emitting a pale-blue light.
"Heya, Four-Eyes. Still religiously following that little notebook of yours?"
"Is that really the tone you want to take with me, informant? If we handover the evidence we
have on you, like we should, you'd be looking at ten years in prison. And that would break your
late father's heart."
"Don't you dare bring my dad into this."
The informant, a fourteen-year-old boy, stacks his legs on the desk before leaning back in his
chair. Cropped hair, big eyes, always wears the same white sweater no matter the season. He
may be small, but his vision is sharp enough to cut glass.
"Anyway, it's not like you to be late. What, were you on a 'date' or somethin'?"
He makes a circle with one hand and shoves a finger in it with the other.
"Sorry to disappoint, but I only plan on going on dates with the woman I marry. And according
to the 'Future Plans' page in my notebook," I reply as I turn to the appropriate page, "it's going to
be another six years before I get married."
"Hold up. You already got a girl you're gonna marry?"
"Not for another four years."
"Uh-huh..."
The boy's eyes fly open, and his jaw drops when he realizes I'm serious.
"Take a good look, lad. I live according to my ideals and schedule. That's what it means to be an
adult."
"Yeah... I've got a pretty good idea what kind a person you are, but that was...uh, something."
Dazai passes through the door behind me.
"Hmm? Who's the new guy?"
"Hey there. I'd love to introduce myself, but I'd rather not listen to Kunikida's sass afterward."
"You should introduce yourself first before asking, lad. Oh, and, Dazai, don't try to guess what
I'm going to do unless I give you express permission."
"Geez, Four-Eyes. You sure love bossing people around... Whatever. Name's Rokuzo Taguchi,
age fourteen. I'm a professional hacker."
"He's the idiot who tried to hack into our system and was caught, so I had to teach him some
manners." I graciously add a few comments for clarity.
"C'mon, that was forever ago. Just gimme the logs already."
Rokuzo hacked into the Armed Detective Agency's information archive three months ago and
threw the organization into chaos. Naturally, the agency is prepared for cyberattacks, and we
traced the hacker back here. I roughed up Rokuzo a bit, and now he's working as our information
broker on the condition that we don't hand the logs over to the police as incriminating evidence.
It's a symbiotic relationship.
"So did you figure out who sent us that e-mail I asked you to look into?"
"Wow. Impatient much? I literally just saw it. I'm gonna need more time."
I had asked him to locate the mysterious sender. Tracing an e-mail surely isn't a difficult task for
someone of Rokuzo's caliber.
"Besides, I'm already busy tracing the missing persons you asked me to find. Isn't that more
important?"
"It is." I nod in agreement.
He's referring to the Serial Disappearances of Yokohama Visitors case.
There has been a series of missing-persons incidents, with no obvious connections among the
victims. Eleven people have gone missing by now, and already a month has passed since a
formal criminal investigation was launched. The victims have only two things in common, albeit
minor: They don't live in Yokohama, and they walked off into thin air. It's a difficult case with no
clues that would help us know where to even begin searching. What I asked Rokuzo to do was to
track down evidence of the victims' activity before they went missing, such as footage of them
getting on a train or taking a taxi. However, the results have been less than ideal.
"Wait. Who went missing? Nobody's told me anything about this."Dazai chimes in, expressing
interest.
"I'll explain everything later."
However, I casually brush him off-with reason, of course. I plan to make solving this case
Dazai's entrance exam, and I want to wait for the right time before disclosing said information.
"Ooh, training the newbie, huh? You've really moved up in the ranks, Four-Eyes."
"Yeah, he's a real stubborn boss. You wouldn't believe what I put up with... By the way, Rokuzo,
was it? You're a hacker, right? So you got any dirt on Kunikida? Maybe some incriminating
photos?"
"Dazai! Not a wise move scheming to blackmail me when I'm right here!"
"Heh. I like your style, new guy. We got the thousand-yen plan, the ten thousand-yen plan, and
the hundred-thousand-yen plan. What's it gonna be?
"Just what do you have on me?!"
Wait, wait, wait. Relax, Doppo.
"Don't make me laugh. I have nothing to hide. Dazai, ignore this kid. He's bluffing."
"...Hmm." Dazai shoots me a meaningful glance.
"You don't have to believe me. I'll just sell the information to customers who do. I mean, I guess
I could always dispose of it if you're willing to cough up the cash, Four-Eyes."
"Keep dreaming! No such information exists! Come on, Dazai! We're leaving!"
I grab Dazai by the collar and quickly drag him out of the room, leaving the information broker's
hideout.
One hundred and eleven thousand yen...?
***
There is not a soul to be seen in the old factory district. Dazai and I stand in the street, waiting
for the taxi we called. Trails of light from passing vehicles come and go. A splash of yellow. A
silver ribbon. The scattered crimson of brake lights. White headlights cut through the buildings'
shadows. The reflections of streetlamps flow across the car windows like water. The strong
ocean winds slowly push the clouds away, allowing the moonlight to cast black shadows and
white highlights over the port.
"He's a good kid," Dazai says with a grin as he looks up at the night sky.
"I made a mistake by introducing you two. I should have known it wouldn't lead to anything
good."
"Hey, can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"Why are you looking after him?"
I glance at Dazai, noticing his solemn expression.
"Why would you ask him for help? The agency surely doesn't need any assistance tracing
missing people. Plus, you could have just called him for that."
I don't say a word. It's a difficult question.
"Would it maybe have something to do with this father of his you mentioned?"
I can't help myself from turning to face him.
"Thought so."
Dazai smiles, taking note of my expression.
"...Rokuzo's father was an accomplished police officer before he died," I begin to explain
reluctantly. "Some time ago, the agency worked together with the police to track down a certain
criminal. He was a big shot-as bad as they come. He destroyed numerous national and corporate
buildings. Even though the police were doing everything they could to find him, they just
couldn't trace the guy."
"Are you talking about the Azure Banner Terrorist?"
"Yes."
It turned into a heinous case that shook the country, involving both the military and the police.
"After much time, our agency finally succeeded in finding his hideout, which we reported to the
city police."
"That's amazing," Dazai replies, impressed.
"Yeah, it was a big deal. However, at the time, the case was being handled by the military, the
security police, and the city police as a joint effort, which caused mass confusion among the
multiple chains of command. To make matters worse, the criminal got wind of what we were
doing, so he barricaded himself in his hideout along with a large number of high-powered
explosives."
It's all coming back to me. Conflicting orders coming from all directions-some telling us to arrest
the target, some telling us to stand by...
"Because of the chaotic orders, only five detectives were able to promptly make it to the scene.
They were told to rush in and neutralize the enemy at once... But what could five ordinary
detectives, neither skill users nor special ops, hope to accomplish against the bloodthirsty Azure
King?"
Not only that, but those on the ground have no way of grasping the situation in its entirety. If the
higher-ups give orders to rush in, then that's it.
"After being driven into a corner, the Azure King set off a bomb, killing himself...along with the
five detectives."
"...And one of those police officers happened to be Rokuzo's father, huh?"
"Rokuzo lost his mother at a young age. It was just him and his father after that, and he seemed
to really look up to the man." I clench my fist. "I was the one who contacted the police and told
them we found the terrorist's hideout."
If only I had contacted someone higher up on the chain of command...If only the detective
agency had stormed the hideout with them...
"I as good as killed him."
"No, you didn't. It was the higher-ups at the police station who gave the orders, and besides, the
criminal's the one who blew himself up."
"That may be true, but I doubt the lad sees it that way. He wouldn't have tried getting revenge by
hacking into the detective agency's database otherwise."
I suspect Rokuzo resents us. I've never asked him face-to-face, but...
"Rokuzo's father is gone, and nothing is going to change that. That's why somebody needs to
look out for him-keep him in line when he acts out. And I just happen to be in a position to do it.
It's a matter of convenience."
"You're a real romanticist, you know that?" Dazai's snickering comes out sounding like a sigh.
I've never considered myself to be a romanticist, nor do I really know what it means to be
sentimental. However, my acquaintances do often describe me as such, though I can't understand
why. After all, this world is far from ideal.
A taxi stops in front of us while I ponder. The driver waves.
***
No two taxi drivers are the same. Some are upstanding people; some are sincere. Some know the
side streets and shortcuts like the back of their hand, and some are expert motorists. You've also
got your cheerful young taxi drivers, along with the more frugal ones who keep their eye on the
meter at all times. There is no one answer to which is best, and everyone is rightfully entitled to
their opinion. However, there is only one thing I hope for when I get inside a taxi.
"Well, long time no see, Detective Kunikida. We're having such nice weather today, yes? It
really is the perfect day for investigating. Your glasses really suit you; then again, they always
do. When you've driven cabs for as long as I have, you start to notice who does and doesn't look
good in glasses. You can see if they're refined, whether they come from good stock. And your
glasses are very becoming! Yep, I guarantee it."
"Please, could you shut up and just drive?"
Besides, how can you determine a person's upbringing just from their glasses? Ridiculous... I am
slightly curious, though.
"The best taxi drivers are the ones who don't talk. Has nobody ever told you that before?"
"Never. In fact, the passengers never really tell me anything at all when I'm driving, since I'm
talking the whole time."
I know what they call a taxi driver like this: a chatterbox.
Dazai and I are taking the cab to our next destination for investigation. I look out the window to
discover the absence of lights. Shadows from the sparsely distributed trees brush away the dim
moonlight as they fade into the distance. Needless to say, it wasn't a stroke of misfortune that we
happened to get into this taxi. We specifically asked for this driver. Why?
To get information.
"Dazai, you know the missing-persons case I mentioned earlier?"
"You mean the one Rokuzo's looking into?"
"Precisely. Eleven people are missing so far. And this driver saw two of them right before they
disappeared."
I point at the small-framed individual driving the vehicle.
"All I did was drive them from the port to their hotel, though. One was a woman on vacation,
while the other was a man in Yokohama on business."
"Are you sure these are the two people you saw?"
I pull out a few pictures from my pocket. They're all photos of the victims, taken by the hotel's
security camera. There are three types: when they're entering the building, when they're filling
out the paperwork at the counter, and from the next day when they're leaving the hotel.
"Yes, that's them all right. They were wearing those same clothes. I drove them to this hotel,
too."
"Great. So, Kunikida, can you finally fill me in on the case's details?"
"...Very well."
I then begin to summarize the case. About a month ago, a forty-two-year-old man was visiting
Yokohama on business when he suddenly vanished. After tracing his footsteps, it became clear
that he left the port, checked into the hotel, and went to town the next day. However, he never
showed up to his work meeting, nor did he ever return home. His belongings were still in the
hotel room, and he simply left of his own accord, disappearing without a trace.
A single traveler, a participant in a trade show-the other missing people vanished more or less
the same way. From age to place of residence and workplace, none of the eleven victims has
anything in common, barring that they all visited Yokohama alone. The city police are asking
around town, trying to trace the victims' footsteps after they left the hotel, but they've yet to find
any witnesses. It's as if these people disappeared like a puff of smoke.
The police are leaning toward the possibility of a kidnapping. However, there isn't a single place
in this massive city where someone could be abducted without any witnesses. What would be
their objective anyway? None of the families has been threatened to pay a ransom or anything of
the sort.
"The objective's pretty clear if you ask me."
Dazai, who had been quiet this entire time, suddenly speaks up with a merry note in his voice.
"Trade."
"What?"
"I'm saying, somebody's kidnapping these people and selling them. From what I've heard, it
sounds like the missing people have all been healthy adults, right? Hearts, kidneys, corneas,
lungs, livers, pancreases, bone marrow-I mean, they'd all be sold in foreign markets, so they're
not particularly valuable in terms of yen, but having eleven bodies is like stepping into a gold
mine. If the criminal is acting alone, then I bet they're sitting on a fortune."
"I've heard about black markets like this before, but how do you know so much about them?"
I'm fairly sure the general public knows only what they see in movies or hear in stories.
"Oh, y'know, I just heard people talking about it at this dingy pub outside of town once."
How convenient. A sketchy excuse at best. Then again, the very atoms that make up his body are
suspect.
"...So you're telling me the victims went to the buyer themselves? In the middle of their trip, they
went out of their way to beg someone to buy their organs?"
"Yeah, you're right. It doesn't add up. I guess that means they just wanted to disappear for some
reason? Maybe they met with a mediator who specializes in taking people and giving them new
names and identities."
"But then there should be witnesses or security footage proving they left town to meet with the
mediator."
"What if they went to a master of disguise to alter their appearance?"
"Now that you mention it, I've heard of someone like that before! In show business, they have
this technique that can change men into women. Like, first, they fill their cheeks with some sort
of cotton to change the shape of their face, and then-"
"Nobody asked you." I promptly cut off the driver before he launches into another one of his
never-ending stories.
"Ah, I've got it! Look at this picture! They're both wearing glasses, right? I found something they
have in common! It's the case of the Serial Disappearances of People with Glasses!"
I take a look. The victims are indeed wearing glasses: one with black frames and one with silver.
"This is your chance, Kunikida!"
"My chance to do what? Regardless, several of the victims weren't wearing glasses, you know.
So no, you didn't find something they all have in common."
If my memory serves me correctly, four of the other nine victims were wearing prescription
glasses, two were wearing sunglasses, and three were wearing nothing at all.
"Tsk... Guess I'll just have to come up with another way to use you as bait. I bet the criminal
targets tourists. All right, Kunikida, slip on your rubber boots, throw on your backpack, put on
your red-and-green-striped shirt, and start walking the town in your knickerbockers. Make sure
to bring a giant camera with you to take pictures of everyone who walks by and say 'Eh' at the
end of every sentence."
"Like hell I will!"
"'Like hell I will, eh!'"
"You call that a strategy? That's a terri-"
"'A terrible idea, eh?'"
"Stop guessing what I'm going to say!"
"Hmm? In that case, how about you get naked, put on a top hat, and ride around on a unicycle
screaming what kind of girls you like?"
"We're not even talking about the same thing anymore!"
"Hey, I have an idea, too, Detective Kunikida. How about you dress up like a clown and read-?"
"You stay out of this!"
Argh, the both of them! I'm slowly starting to lose my temper here.
"Dazai! When are you going to start taking work seriously?! Get it together!"
"What? But I always take work seriously."
I really hope that's just a bad joke.
"Okay, how about this: Starting real soon, I vow to become a detective you can count on. I will
carefully and thoroughly investigate, examine, and reach logical deductions based on evidence.
After that, you'll be so impressed that you'll immediately allow me to start investigating on my
own, and my amazing detective skills will bring a tear to your eye." Dazai rattles on, trying to
persuade me, but his babbling means little to me.
"And how soon is 'Real soon'?"
"Right after we get out of this taxi."
Oh?
"Is that so?"
"Indeed it is. A suicide enthusiast does not back down on his word...Also, in return, if you don't
mind..."
I knew this was coming.
"What do you want? I'm not giving you a raise or easier work, if that's what you're after."
"Oh, it's nothing that extravagant. It's just, well, something piqued my interest a little earlier..."
Dazai steadily gazes in the driver's direction, his eyes brimming with curiosity.
"...Let me drive."
***
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa! I am the wind!!"
"Wai- D-Dazai, stop the car! Stop the car this inst- Aaargh!"
"GAAAAAAH!!"
"Blerrrgh..."
***
"Ta-daa! Here we are, safe and sound!"
"Never again... I'm never going to let you drive...ever again...!"
Dazai gallantly leaps out of the taxi as the door opens, while I stumble and almost fall on my
face. The driver, on the other hand, is passed out in the passenger seat. He's not getting up until
morning, that's for sure.
"Wait. Are you carsick? C'mon-pull yourself together."
I get the sudden urge to kill him.
Carsick is not the word for this. My legs are trembling so much that I can't even stand. I have no
sense of balance. I feel like some newborn herbivorous creature trying to stand on its own four
wobbly legs for the first time. Not even the most rigorous martial arts training ever left me this
exhausted.
"All right, then! Let's get to work! I'm going to start taking things seriously just like I promised!"
There's no way I could ask to rest now after the earful I gave him.
"The building mentioned in the e-mail is just up ahead... By the way, Kunikida, are you afraid of
ghosts?"
"Ghosts? Do you really think someone afraid of ghosts can work at the Armed Detective
Agency? Guns and knives are much more of a threat than some mystical apparition."
"Good. Because that's apparently where we're investigating."
I turn to see what he's pointing at, and I see a dilapidated black building standing in the bosom of
the mountains. An abandoned hospital reeking of death and rot, shrouded in darkness, awaits us.
***
Why?
Why did we have to come here in the middle of the night? And on a night like this?
All living people fall ill. Just as there is no perfect mind, there is no perfect body. One would
have to look no further than a hospital for proof. Everyone is born and dies in a hospital. One
could say that hospitals act as the boundary between this world and the next-the dividing line
between life and death. And a forgotten, decaying hospital is all the eerier.
Moonlight creeps in through the shattered windows, casting sapphire shadows of subtle grace
over the rubble. Stagnant violet puddles resembling blood cover the floor, and out front are a
bunch of spider lilies, their flowers a noxious shade of crimson.
"It's dark... I can hardly see a thing."
"But isn't that half the fun?"
As I drag my feet along the abandoned hospital's hallway floor, Dazai casually skips past me.
The rotten walls are crumbling while old wires dangle from the ceiling. The window frames are
missing, most of the equipment has been stolen, and the hospital's rooms are now nothing more
than homes for insects. Who would ever willingly come to a place like this?
"The client requests that we find the source of the light and noise coming from somewhere here
every night. There's no telling what might happen, so don't let your guard down."
"Sure... But, Kunikida, don't you think you're being a little too cautious?"
I glare at Dazai. "Only a fool underestimates the enemy. Being a member of our agency means to
always expect the worst and act accordingly."
Lowering my center of gravity just to be even more careful, I prepare for a surprise attack while
advancing down the hall.
"Are you scared?"
"I-I'm n-n-not scared, you idiot!"
"Then let's hurry up and get this over with."
"Don't be stupid. In movies like this, the first characters to get themselves killed are the careless
ones who get carried away and run up ahead."
"And what kind of movie are we in?"
"Just shut up and take the lead. I'll keep an eye on the rear."
"Are you only saying that because you don't want to be in the-? Oh, wait. You said it was
because it was too dark to see anything. Have you considered using a flashlight or something?"
I have. In fact, I would love to be able to have some light, but...
"If there really is somebody here, they're most likely going to run away if they see our lights. We're going to have to rely on the moonlight to get by.
"If you say so."
We travel through the darkness. The building creaks against the strong winds. I hear the sound of
water dripping. Not only are there no private houses around this hospital, there aren't any
buildings at all. Only the hill sand vast woods watch over us as the pitch-black trees howl in the
blustering wind.
I think back to the client's e-mail. 'Neighboring residents'? There isn't a place fit to live for miles
from here. The only nearby inhabitants are foxes and bears.
-So just who is this client?
-Why wasn't there a name?
-Perhaps the client really is a vengeful spirit?
Dazai's words spring to mind.
Nothing but darkness in every single direction. The howling wind blowing through the building's
cracks is reminiscent of a woman's sobs.
...
I don't believe in ghosts. I teach algebra, and I'm a believer in the sciences. Vengeful spirits
appearing to kill the living is nothing more than a delusion created by a fear of the dark-the
unknown.
...
I'm not afraid, I'm not shaking, and I'm not crying, either!
"Ghost!!"
Gyaaah!!
Dazai's sudden shrieking from up ahead causes my heart to skip a beat. He turns around, staring
at me with his mouth opened wide. Then, after getting a good look at me, he slowly but surely
begins to grin.
That bastard...!
"I'm going to fire you for that!"
"Aw c'mon, you just looked so nervous that I wanted to take your mind off things."
"Go to hell!"
I hurry ahead and push past him. Damn it. It's dark. I can't see a thing. Eyes peering from the
shadows, sighing coming from empty space: It's so dark that my mind's starting to play tricks on
me.
Dark.
So dark.
I can't take it anymore.
"The Matchless Poet: Flashliiight!!"
Let there be light.
***
After examining the inside of the abandoned hospital, it becomes clear that people have been
coming here. There are scuff marks on the floor from a cart of some sort, footprints left from
leather shoes, and threads from clothes. But it still isn't clear if this is evidence left by someone
who sneaks in here every night or just the remnants of past lootings. I illuminate my
surroundings with the flashlight I created, but it's not enough to eliminate the overpowering
darkness and its hold over the hospital.
I am quite literally groping in the dark. The ocean of nothingness engulfs my feet as I light up the
path before me, but casting the flashlight across my feet only throws the path forward into
shadow. I timidly move forward, yet I still find nothing of importance.
"Looks like someone was just playing a prank. C'mon, let's head home," Dazai says as he turns
on his heel, finally weary of this.
"Hold on. What happened to 'carefully and thoroughly investigating, examining, and reaching
logical deductions'? Calling it quits already? We need to find more evidence bef-"
"That won't be necessary. Here, check this out."
He picks up a black cord with both ends disappearing into the floor...
Wait.
"Is that...an electrical wire?"
And a rather new one, at that. It's obviously different from the interior wiring originally used in
this old run-down hospital. This wire must have been installed within the past few months.
"We'll just follow this wire, and..."
Dazai draws in the wire while following it to its source. It was cleverly hidden, but we eventually
find what's at the other end. He lifts it up.
"Hmm... Looks like a movie camera. Somebody must have secretly installed it here, and I bet
this isn't the only one. Clearly, the client sent us a fake job offer so he could get you here and
film you crying because you're afraid of ghosts. What a nasty person."
"I-I'm not crying!"
"You're right-only a baby would be afraid of a dark building."
"..."
"Besides, a spirit haunting a hospital wouldn't be so gutsy. They died of an illness, right? I mean,
if some kind of accident did them in, then they'd be haunting wherever it happened, after all. A
ghost who died from illness wouldn't have the courage to kill anyone. At the very worst, they'd
just be filled with regret. Their line would be something like 'I didn't wanna diiie.' Can you
believe it, though? The lucky dog died, and here they are complaining!"
"Dazai... Hey... Th-that's enough..."
You're gonna piss off a vengeful spirit.
"Like, if there's gonna be an angry ghost, then it needs to be a skinny woman who died from
pulmonary tuberculosis-all skin and bones, y'know? And she's gotta have wet, disheveled hair
covering her face and say something like 'It's not fair. Why do you get to live and not me? Save
me from the grip of this darkness'! Save me from this paaain! Ah, it hurts! My blood, my bones,
my flesh, my entrails...! Raaahhh!!'"
"Heeeeeelp!!"
At the sudden high-pitched scream, my heart jumps into my throat and nearly out of my mouth,
too. But not a moment later, as I'm drenched in acold sweat, I realize:
That scream came from a living person.
"Did you hear that...?"
"It came from over there! Follow me!"
Unable to wait for Dazai, I dash down the rotting hall, rush down the staircase as quickly as
possible, then race down the hallway, kicking up gravel all the while. Following the direction of
the scream, I end up in the basement.
The ceiling is falling apart, just like the deteriorating walls. The boiler room, medicine room,
radiography room, and the morgue run along the hallway. Following the voice, I plunge into the
old boiler room.
I found her!
A woman's right hand swiftly emerges out of the large water tank, struggling desperately. I race
over and peer inside to find a young woman submerged, dressed in only her underwear. Her
opposite arm is cuffed to a handle at the bottom to keep her from getting out. She's going to
drown if I don't do something!
"The hell-?!"
"We have to get these off!" Dazai shouts as he grabs on to some iron bars. They lie across the top
of the water tank normally used for laundry, preventing the woman from escaping. I grab the
bars with both hands and pull with everything I've got, but they hardly even budge, as if there is
some sort of lock. My eyes meet her dark-brown ones, opened as wide as could be. They
hopelessly plead with mine: Help me.
"We're going to save you! Move closer to the edge of the tank!"
I wave my hand, instructing her to move. She presses her back against the wall and curls her
body as if she got the message. Then I take out the gun strapped to my waist, remove the safety,
and aim it at the water tank's outer wall.
"Get back, Dazai!"
I angle the pistol in a way so that no bullets would ricochet and hit the woman inside. After that,
I shoot three bullets into the outside wall, piercing and cracking the tank. Water spews out.
Facing the fissures, I spin into an ax kick. The momentum buries my heel into the earthenware
and mortar outer wall, shattering it with a single strike. Gallons of water instantly escape from
the large hole.
"Cough... Cough, cough!"
She ravenously gasps for air after the water finally drains enough to expose her face. It looks like
we made it in time. Dazai rotates the large faucet handle, shutting off the water supply.
"Are you okay?"
I reach through the iron bars, offering a handkerchief. Her fingers tremble as she grabs it.
"Someone tried to drown you... Did you see who it was?" Dazai asks. After a fit of coughing, the
victim finally speaks up, still breathing heavily.
"I was...kidnapped. I was visiting Yokohama on business one day until I suddenly lost
consciousness... Next thing I knew, I was here."
Dazai and I exchange glances.
***
With Dazai's help, we break the iron bars and remove her handcuffs to complete the rescue. The
bars were triple locked with cylinder locks, so I had no choice but to use the butt of my gun to
break them.
"My name is Nobuko Sasaki. I teach at a university in Tokyo. I was visiting Yokohama and
suddenly lost consciousness...and when I woke up, I was here."
Even while pale and dripping wet, Miss Sasaki courageously explains what happened to her.
"Miss Sasaki, do you know how many days ago you were kidnapped?"
"I apologize... I can't say for sure, since I was unconscious for so long... However, judging by
how I feel and how hungry I am, I would say it hasn't been any longer than two or three days..."
The first victim in the Yokohama missing-persons case disappeared thirty-five days ago, and the
eleventh victim, seven. If her assumption is correct, then there is a high possibility she's a victim
we didn't know about.
"..."
Deep in thought, Dazai keeps silent with his arms crossed.
Miss Sasaki is a slightly thin woman with long black hair. She appears to be around the same age
as me. She's trembling, and understandably so. The kidnapper must have stripped her of
everything but her underwear. Aside from Dazai's overcoat, she's nearly naked and soaking wet
in the middle of the night.
Her hands tightly wrapped around her elbows and her legs stretched out on the floor are
especially delicate. The clothes clinging to her body sketch the outline of an alluring figure. I feel
almost as if I could see through her remarkably fine porcelain skin. Wet hair clings to her nape as
water drips onto her chest. I avert my gaze for absolutely no reason.
"More importantly, there are others trapped here, too! I heard them screaming."
"What?!"
The other missing people are here, too? Were they being kept prisoner in this building after
being kidnapped as well?
"I'll take you to them! Follow me." The woman staggers to her feet and turns around.
But...
"...Wait." I place a hand on Miss Sasaki's shoulder, stopping her. "Dazai, what do you think?"
"The way she's dressed makes me feel things," he says with a straight face.
"Be serious!"
"...Her story's too good to be true," Dazai replies, this time crossing his arms. "It's just too
convenient. We came here to investigate a mysterious light and strange voices, and we just
happen to find a victim from the missing-persons case? These two cases are separate, completely
unrelated, except for the fact that they're our cases... Miss Sasaki, when was the last time you
saw the criminal?"
"I'm sorry, but I never actually saw anyone. When I woke up, the tank was already being filled
with water, almost covering my face. I suspect the kidnapper turned on the faucet and left five or
so minutes before I woke up."
That must have been when she screamed. What unbelievable timing.
"Then that'd mean the criminal was here up until a few moments ago, and I highly doubt they
didn't notice us coming. So the question is: Why'd they do it?"
"Perhaps they heard us coming, so they panicked. Or perhaps..."
It's all an elaborate trap.
But for us to run away in fear of a trap is out of the question. If there's ahigh chance the other
missing people are here, then there's no way we can turn back now.
"Thirty-five days have already passed since the first victim was kidnapped. If they're being kept
here, then they don't have much longer. Dazai, I want you to keep her safe and follow me." I
walk down the hallway, my gun in hand.
After contacting the city police just in case, we follow Miss Sasaki until she guides us to the
morgue. Corpses are quite valuable, so the doors are sturdier than normal to protect from theft.
The iron door is latched shut. It's the perfect place to confine someone. I make sure it's not
booby-trapped before breaking the lock and rushing into the room.
With one hand over the other, I point the gun and flashlight forward. Wall to wall, the morgue is
around thirty-five feet long and dreadfully dark. The room is almost completely bare, most
everything having been moved or stolen. All that's left are a stretcher with bent legs, a ripped
body bag, and the lockers on the walls. Nothing else. Nobody dead or alive... Wait.
Something in the back of the room moved in reaction to the light. I shine my flashlight in its
direction.
"Hel...p...us..."
The room isn't empty. There are four people bunched in an iron cage against the wall, wearing
only their underwear, just like Miss Sasaki.
"Where am I?"
"I heard a woman scream... What's going on?"
"There's no need to worry. We're here to save you. We already saved the woman you heard
screaming. Is anyone hurt?"
"N-no, we're fine. But where are we? And why are we here?"
I get closer. Attached to the wall opposite the entrance is a metal cage made to transport wild
animals. It would be hard to unfasten with the tools I have in hand. The cage's structure itself is
simple but extremely strong. Undoubtedly, much time would be needed to break it open.
"Hmm... An electronic lock, huh?" Dazai approaches the lock for further inspection. "Is it
password protected? Or maybe biometric authentication? Or maybe it's voice controlled? 'Open
sesame'! 'Flash and thunder'! 'Mine has been a life of much shame'! Hmm... That didn't work.
Guess we'll just have to break it open."
What on earth was that last line?
"If we want to break it, we'll probably have to start with this-"
The moment Dazai goes to touch the lock pad, Miss Sasaki lets out a piercing scream.
"Don't touch the lock!"
Dazai turns around in astonishment. A red light flashes on the lock pad. The sound of metal
dropping echoes from the floor above, and I hear something opening. Milky-white gas shoots
into the cage. After I instinctively rush over, my eyes and throat violently burn with lancinating
pain. The caged victims let out bloodcurdling screams.
"It's poison gas!!"
The extreme pain causes tears to well in my eyes. I can hardly see a thing. It's all a blur, as if
everything is dancing before me. I may have accidentally breathed in some of the gas, but that
doesn't mean I can abandon these people. I place a hand on the cage.
"Get back! It's too late!"
Somebody grabs me by the arm and pulls me back.
Don't you dare tell me what I can and can't do. I have to save them. The victims must not die.
That's the ideal. That's the way the world should be.
"Kunikida, hurry!" Dazai yells to me from behind.
No. This isn't right.
"No!" Miss Sasaki wraps me in her arms, stopping me.
Why? Why are you holding me back? Nobody deserves to die. I won't let them.
Dazai drags me out of the room. All I remember is screaming something.
All four victims are dead.
***
(I am unsure why it is spacing unevenly, I am working on fixing it)