Deep within the bowels of the Earth, Slade stood before the menacing eyes of Trigon. "You have failed me once more."
Slade silently cursed Poison Ivy's foolishness. She was supposed to be smart, and he had been counting on that. Instead, she had let her emotions get the better of her, resulting in an absolutely pathetic performance. "Please, accept my humble apologies." He ground out. He loathed groveling like this, but only Trigon could restore his body.
"I should strike you down where you stand. I have no use for incompetence." Slade discreetly moved his hand behind his back and fingered on one of two special rings he'd found, preparing for the worst. "Still, I suppose your discovery merits some lenience."
Slade eyed the apparition wearily, unsure of what he was referring to.
"Ok, I'm done." Naruto said with finality as he set down his notepad. He'd just spent the past twenty minutes drawing every exposed inch of Raven's body in meticulous detail. No, not like that; he's not Jiraiya. While they deeply loved each other, they hadn't done anything more than making out with the occasional light petting. Well, that, and they usually slept together in one of their rooms. Right now, they were doing something a little more serious.
In the two weeks since Poison Ivy's capture, and especially after Cyborg's order of paper had arrived, Naruto's fūinjutsu studies had advanced by leaps and bounds. He wasn't close to his father's level yet, but he was definitely skilled in the art. As such, Naruto finally felt ready to try to decipher Trigon's markings. Raven had been able to manifest with unexpected ease, allowing Naruto to copy them down for study.
"I didn't think you even owned a bikini." He commented as Raven grabber her discarded clothes. Her simple black two-piece was surprisingly revealing, and it had been incredibly difficult to resist the urge to stare at her… assets, but he managed. Naruto had seen many female bodies before, both while perfecting his Oiroke no Jutsu and from Jiraiya's many attempts to convert him to the ways of the super pervert. To him though, her body out shown them all.
Raven sighed. "Starfire got it for me. I never thought I'd actually wear it." She waited a beat. "Are you going to turn around?"
"Oh!" Naruto quickly did so. "Sorry." Since his room didn't connect to the bathroom, she either changed here or walked down the hall dressed like that. Sure, she could have worn her cloak over the swimsuit, but it was easier to just do it here.
"You can look now." He turned again to see that she was back in her uniform. It wasn't the only thing she wore, but it was certainly what she was most comfortable in.
"So, did you… like it on me?" She asked, quickly bringing him back out of his thoughts.
"Of course." He said honestly. She looked stunning in it, and this had been one of the few times he'd seen that much of her. His felt his face warm as he remembered that time a week ago when, exhausted after a long fight against Plasmus, she'd collapsed in his bead in little more than a T-shirt and panties.
In a rare act of unconscious shyness, she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Then maybe I could wear it again sometime."
Naruto nodded vigorously. After all, what straight male would turn that down? "Yes. Totally. I mean, we do live on an island."
"Really? I hadn't noticed." She said playfully.
"Yeah. There's a great beach on the south side." He grinned. "We should check it out, just the two of us."
"Is this a date?" She asked coyly, approaching him. They'd spent a lot of time together, but with everything going on they hadn't been on an official date yet.
"And if I am?" He responded.
She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Then I guess I'd have to say yes." They both leaned in, but before their lips made contact, the Tower's alert beeped urgently. "This better be important." She mumbled, a sentiment Naruto agreed with wholeheartedly.
Robin paced in front of the screen in ops. "Where's Cyborg?" He asked, irritated.
"He said he was going to get some doo-dad for that thing he's working on for Naruto." Beast-Boy supplied, rubbing sleep from his eyes. Ah yes, the project. Naruto didn't know exactly what it was, but it had something to do with his fūinjutsu. With his permission, Cyborg had scanned every scroll he had on fūinjutsu into his database, which had been helpfully translated by an army of clones. He'd also studied his Chakra six way to Sunday. This included Kurama's, whose recovery time had been drastically reduced after the two halves had finished balancing their Chakra. As of now, he could be back to full strength in as little as two weeks.
"Yo!" They turned to see Cyborg exiting the elevator. "Sorry I'm late, but I didn't want to risk ruining this puppy." He proudly presented his prize on the Ops table.
"You were late… for a pie?" Raven asked.
"Awesome!" Beast-Boy exclaimed. "What flavor is it?"
"Why don't you find out?" Cyborg offered. He hit a button, causing six slots in the table to open up and each dispense a set of plates and silverware
Robin developed a tic-mark "Excuse me, but can you do this later? This is extremely important."
"No, we can't. The pie's gonna' get cold. Whatever this is can wait a few minutes."
"You don't even know what it is!" Their leader snapped at him.
Cyborg cut each of them a slice. "Please, if this was urgent then you would've used the emergency alarm." He made a valid point. Cyborg grabbed a fork and took a bite. "Mmh, sho goo'!" He moaned. Naruto, Beast-Boy, and Starfire followed his example, and had similar reactions.
"Oh my Kami. Raven, you have to try this." Naruto said after swallowing. Tsunade and Sakura had been pretty good about beating table manners into him.
"It can't be that good." She looked over to Robin, only to see Starfire shove a fork-full into his mouth. After that, he grabbed his own plate and started eating despite his earlier protestations. "Ok, maybe it is." Raven conceded, and grabbed her own plate.
Naruto woke holding the familiar warmth of Raven. The bed was a bit harder than usual, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Suddenly, he heard a voice. "How did I…?" Why was Robin in his room? Naruto opened his eyes. Huh, apparently, they'd passed out in ops. At least he was still sleeping with Raven. "Hey! I'm hungry." Robin said, causing both Naruto's and Raven's stomachs to growl. He stood, helping Raven up as well. The others followed suit.
"Me too!" She said.
"Me three!" Beast-Boy added.
Cyborg got in his face. "ME FOUR!" He yelled.
"Me five!" Naruto said, joining in on the fun.
Starfire joined them. "But who is going to feed us?" She asked, sounding confused.
"Hello sweeties!" A voice called out. They turned to see a plump, kindly looking woman smiling kindly at them. She was dressed mostly in red, the only exceptions were her pink apron, the white around her shoulders, and the white bow on her hat. The hat was something else. It was easily twice as big as her head, and with its pink polka dots and general shape, Naruto of a mushroom from that go-kart game Beast-Boy had shown him. Which Naruto won, by the way. "Now that we've all had a nice nappy-wappy, what would my hungry little ones like to eat?"
"Pie!" Everyone said in turn, except for Cyborg, who yelled it.
Mother waved her spoon, and six perfect pies poofed into existence on the counter. The Titans hurried over, each claiming one for themselves. "Thank you Mother Mae-Eye!" They said in unison, before digging into their pies. Naruto barely restrained himself from just shoving his face into the delicacy. Mother's pies were easily the best thing he'd ever eaten.
Back in the Elemental Nations, dozens of his friends shuddered. It felt like something deeply fundamental had been messed with.
A brief flash of confusion shot through Naruto's mind, as if there was something wrong with that thought. He took another bite, and his confusion vanished.
As they chowed down, Mother's musical laughter rang through the room. "You're ever so welcome, my children. And remember, Mother loves you."
"Here comes the choo choo!" Raven said.
"Ahhhh." Naruto held his mouth open, allowing Raven to feed him a piece of pie. 'Delicious' he thought, swallowing. He then cut a piece with his own fork.
"And now it's the airplane's turn." He cooed, and fed her his bite. As they sat on the floor, feeding each other with little regard to the mess on their faces, Cyborg chowed down on his own stack of pies beside them.
"These are Pie-licious!" He exclaimed through his mouthful.
"Of course they are." Naruto said, before Raven fed him again.
Since his mouth was full, she finished for him. "Mother bakes them with love."
"Now children," Mother said as she went to them. "eat as much as you like, but we mustn't be messy." When she tapped Cyborg on the head with her spoon, a bib reading 'I'm a Big Boy' appeared around his neck in a burst of sparkles. "And you two are getting crumblies all over your faces." Her spoon changed into a napkin, which she used to clean first Raven's, and then Naruto's, faces while they giggled. Then, her napkin changed back, and Mother waved it to create three new stacks of pies.
"Thanks Mother Mae-Eye!" They each said, before digging in again. Suddenly, Naruto paused. There was a faint banging sound, but he couldn't tell where it was coming from. After glancing around the room, he shrugged. It's probably just his imagination.
Sometime later, the emergency alarm sounded, bringing everyone to Ops. On the large display screen, the Hive symbol flashed on the map. "Trouble!" Robin declared, though his childish but neat hairdo lessened the impact. The team ran at the exit, only for Mother to appear in a puff of pink smoke, blocking their way.
"And just where do my sweeties think they're going?" She asked sweetly.
"On a mission." Robin told her. "We have to protect the city."
Mother Mae-Eye waved her hands in dismissal. "Goodness no. Too dangerous." She reached into her bag and pulled out a baby gate, extending it across the exit. "Mother does not approve. Besides, you don't really want to leave me, do you?"
That banging noise increased, and Naruto frowned. This wasn't right. He'd never let anyone stop him from helping people.
Robin's eyebrows furrowed in concentration "But... no one's ever stopped us from going on missions before."
"We've saved the city hundreds of times." Cyborg added.
"And you never..." Raven seemed to struggle with her words. "ugh...you were never..."
"Who wants pie?" Mother suddenly asked. She conjured six of the dishes above the Titans, allowing them to fall on their faces. While Naruto could have dodged, it looked so good that he just opened his mouth to accept it. However, that phantom racket suddenly increased tenfold and distracted him enough for the pie to splatter all over his face. Starfire suffered a similar fate, she was knocked to the floor. The others had no such issues, easily downing theirs' whole.
While Naruto whipped filling from his eyes, Starfire sat up with her Pie adorning her head. "No." She said. "Our mission!"
"Oh, very well." Mother conceded. "You can all go outside and play, but only once Mother says you're ready."
As they waited at the T-Car, Naruto tried to concentrate. Something wasn't right, and that noise just wouldn't stop. It sounded like someone was repeatedly slamming into a door, but no one else seemed to hear it. "Now let's see." He looked up as Mother tapped Starfire's head with her spoon, causing her magic to flow over her. "We'll need a woolly sweater in case Twinkle Star gets chilly." She said as her magic finished with Starfire, revealing her to be in a giant green sweater seemed that was fat too large for her, as the sleeves went well past her hands and the collar covered half her face. Beast-Boy laughed at her, only for the sparkles to fly to him next, putting him in pink bunny costume as Mother continued. "A cute bunny suitie so Beastie Boo doesn't have to change into all those ugly animals."
For some reason, Naruto felt apprehension when the light split, enveloping him and raven at the same time. "And pretty matching outfits for our cute little couple." Mother said as he watched as his clothing changed. First his comfortable sandals morphed into tall brown boots. Then, he was dressed in tight, burning yellow pants, as well as an equally eye-watering long sleeved collared shirt tucked into his belt. The entire thing was far too tight, and barely allowed Naruto to bend his joints.
His shirt had a fairly realistic stuffed hand, with Velcro on the palm, sewn onto sleeve cuff. It might have been good enough to fool people from a distance. However, the magic had neglected to fill the sleeve, which just left the fake hand to dangle uselessly. To top off the ensemble, a tall, wide brimmed yellow hat dropped on his head. It was ridiculously tall, with a black stripe running just above the brim. If he'd been familiar with this world's children's books, he might have compared himself to the Man in the Yellow hat from Curious George.
He looked over at his girlfriend to see that she was wearing a frilly dress of the same bright yellow, with her hair done up in twin pigtails.
He might have teased her for the ridiculous outfit, but Mother's next words drove all thoughts of humor from his mind. "Just because you're evil on the inside, doesn't mean you can't look pretty on the outside." While Raven giggled happily, Naruto felt something snap in his mind.
"Mother!" He shouted angrily. "How could you say that?!"
While his friends seemed shocked that he had the nerve to yell at her, Mother Mae-Eye blinked innocently. "Say what sweetie?"
"You- she- Raven's not Evil!" He managed. "She's not- You can't-" Mother, deciding enough was enough, thrust her spoon forward at lightning speeds, sending a large chunk of pie towards Naruto mouth. A split second before it passed through his lips, her form shimmered, revealing a grotesque green form beneath her kindly visage. In that moment, realized what was happening, but in his restrictive clothes, was unable to dodge in time.
As the Titan's approached the mall, several voices spoke in unison. "C'mon Jinx, what's the harm? It don't look like them Titans are a'comin."
They arrived at the entrance, where several villains ransacking the place, all of whom Naruto recognized from their files. Aren't shadow clones amazing? There was the hulking Mammoth, the kid genius Gizmo, the ocular powered See-More, the militant Captain Hive, and two others. Jinx, the pink-haired bad luck charm, was yelling at five identical copies of the same red-spandexed person. "Because Billy, this is our robbery! You were the one who said you don't need a team! You can't just show up out of nowhere and…" She trailed off as they all caught sight of the heroes. "No. Way." She muttered in disbelief. After a moment of stunned silence, the six, (or ten, depending on how you look at it), villains burst into laughter. "HAHHAHAHAHA!" Gizmo, as well as the Billys, were literally rolling on the floor
"Nice ears!" Captain-Hive taunted
"Love the hair!" Jinx added.
"Who dressed you guys, your Mother?"
As Beast-Boy pulled on his ears in embarrassment and Robin seethed at the insult, Naruto had to give Gizmo points for accuracy. Not that he'd ever tell him that, it would be too embarrassing. As if she heard his thoughts, Mother herself pulled up across the street and called out: "Play nice, dears! Mother will be back to pick you up in twenty minutes." Well that's it. Here lies the dignity of the Teen Titan's. May it rest in peace.
Robin angrily ruffled his hair back into its usual style. "Titans, Go!" He ordered, charging the enemy with his team.
Jinx responded with a battle cry of her own. "Hive Five, eat them alive!"
Captain-Hive leapt from his Motorcycle, blocking Cyborg's sonic blasts with his shield. "Hope you're wearing your raincoat!" He quipped as he hurled his shield towards Cyborg.
Naruto reached for a kunai to knock it from the sky when a Billy blindsided him with an uppercut, sending him flying across the mall. He spun to land on his feet, but in the process wrapped his empty sleeve around his torso, which pinned his arm against his side. "Don't you forget about Billy Numerous!" Five voices called in sync. As they charged him, more Billy's poured out of the shops to join him, until there had to be around fifteen of them.
Naruto flexed his arm to free it, but the sleeve wouldn't budge; he couldn't even rip it. Oh well, he didn't need it for this guy. Time to show him who the real clone master was. He made the hand sign with his pinned hand, and with a cry of "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!", he created enough clones to match the novice, complete in their henged normal outfits. Take that you stupid suit. "Charge!" He yelled as the groups collided.
It should have been an easy victory. Emphasis on should. When he launched a flying kick at a Billy, he effortlessly sidestepped it. Naruto landed and immediately swept his leg up and around at his head, but Billy simply leaned to the side and caught it. "That ain't gonna fly Cowboy!" He taunted. Billy twisted and threw Naruto away. It wasn't a weak throw either. For the second time that day, Naruto went flying through the air, crashing into a clothes store on the second story.
As Naruto stood and shook off the bikinis, (of course they were bikinis), his mind raced at a mile a minute. Whoever this was, it wasn't Billy Numerous. From the video's he'd seen, his only asset was his duplication powers. That was it. But this guy was different. He clearly had augmented strength, and from the looks of it, martial arts training.
Naruto winced as he received a rush of memories from a clone. 'What the hell?' None of his clones could land a single hit on them! They just kept dodging, as if they knew where every attack was coming from.
Suddenly, Naruto felt a presence behind him. He tensed to lash out, but he was too late. Whoever it was tackled him to the ground, pinning him on his stomach. The red glove by his face told him exactly who it was. The fake Billy.
From within the eye-bubble See-More had trapped her in, Starfire watched as Mammoth gave Robin the wedgie of his life. Her wince of sympathy was interrupted when Naruto landed headfirst in front of her, cracking the pavement. Despite knowing that her friend was stronger, it must have been enough to momentarily knock him out because all of his clones suddenly dispersed. Fortunately for him, Mammoth was kind enough to wake him up… by pelting him with Robin. As the duo staggered to their feet, the rest of their team joined them. It wasn't by choice, seeing as the Hive and ten plus Billys had them surrounded.
"Uh, you think they'd let us call time out?" Beast-Boy asked hopefully.
No, Starfire did not think they would. "These children deserve more than a time out!" She heard, and looked up in surprise to see Mother flying towards them on a cloud of pink magic. "They need a good sound spanking!" She hurtled into the group of Billy's and sent them flying like bowling pens, then proceeded to attack the Hive Five with her purse. It was surprisingly effective; each time Mother swung her purse, another bag guy fell. However, when she went after Mammoth, he was knocked back into Starfire's bubble with enough force to send her flying at a light post, breaking the top off. The bubble popped in a deluge of blue liquid and Starfire fell to the ground, only for the broken post to fall on her head.
Disoriented by the blow, she only vaguely registered their enemy's retreat. "Oh dear." She raised her head to look at Mother's blurry form. "Did Twinkle Star get a boo-boo on her noggin?" Her vision cleared, but Mother… changed. "Don't cry sweetie," Starfire gasped in fright at her new appearance. No longer was she the kind woman that took care of them. Instead, a three eyed, molted green skinned witch stood before here. "Mother's here." She leaned closer, and Starfire had to resist the urge to flee. "Mother will always be here."
Mae-Eye placed a kiss atop her head, causing Starfire to freeze. Her eyes darted to her friends in panic, searching for help. Why did they not help her? Could they not see that Mae-Eye for who she truly was? "All better now." Mae-Eye said, her voice deeper now. She then pulled Starfire to her feet. "Upsidaisy." Starfire's friends were still not helping her, choosing instead to stare at the ground in disappointment, even friend Robin. Why? What foul sorcery had this witch used on Starfire's friends.
"Aww, don't look so down sweeties. Mother brought you all pie." Starfire's eyes widened in realization as one appeared in everyone's hands. The Pie! She must be controlling them with it! She couldn't let her friends… No! They were already eating it. Thinking quickly, she shoveled it into the nearest trashcan while Mae-Eye wasn't looking. She'd have to pretend to still be under the witch's spell so she could save her friends. However, as she turned to rejoin the group, her vision shifted, and she found herself in a dark room. Before she could scream, a hand clamped down on her mouth.