Today had been a good day for Naruto. Sure, he'd suffered some teasing, and he still had a killer headache, but he'd been able to spend several hours alone with Raven in his mindscape. Right now, he was leisurely walking home, enjoying the quiet tranquility of the forest.
Unfortunately, the tranquility was not meant to last, as a distant battle-cry rang throughout the forest. "BEAST-BOY!".
Naruto flinched, not just from the intensity of the shout, but also the surge of righteous fury he was now able to recognize as Raven's. Fearing for his friend's life, he broke into a sprint. 'Sweet Kami! What did that idiot do!?' Several seconds passed without a response. 'Kurama?' Naruto prompted.
'Eh, probably something stupid, like writing on her face.'
'No way! He may not be the smartest kid, but he's not suicidal.'
'Wanna bet?'
As he kept his current pace, Naruto asked, 'Are you seriously asking me to bet on my friend's life?'
'Yes.'
'...Ok I'll bite. What are the terms.'
'If I win, I get to use your body for a day.'
'Kurama, you know you don't need a bet for some time out, right? You just need to ask.'
'You didn't let me finish brat. I get a day… and you can't watch.'
Now, this concerned Naruto. While he had no problems letting Kurama out every now and then, if the Biju didn't want him to watch, it meant he was planning something Naruto wouldn't like. Still, he trusted Kurama not to rampage or anything. And besides, what were the odds he was right.
'Alright. But if I win, I get to make you pink. And you have to show the Biju and Yin Kurama in the shared mindscape.'
(AN: Just a reminder, the half with Naruto is the one that was originally sealed into him.)
Yes, they could both still enter the Biju's shared mindscape. They both visited on occasion to check in on them. Most had gone their separate ways, with a few exceptions. Naruto wasn't really surprised to learn that Gyūki had stayed with B, but what really shocked him was that Shukaku chose to live near Suna to act as a protector of sorts. He was still slightly insane, but he'd apparently come to like Gaara during the war.
The thing was, even though some power could be exchanged through it, like what they did for Naruto in the war, it couldn't be used to transport consciousness. If it could, they would have used it to escape into Naruto, rather than become part of the Juubi. Still, it allowed both halves of Kurama to slowly balance their respective Yin-Yang Chakra with each other. The process would be completed around the same time Yang Kurama (As he was still called for clarity's sake) would finish filling his reserves. They would both only have half their strength when they were combined, but now they would be balanced. Besides, even at half strength, he'd been able to handle several of the others.
Kurama only hesitated for a second, which, in hindsight, should have probably worried Naruto. 'Deal.'
"Now hang on Rae, I know you're mad, but that's no reason to-"
"Move." Raven commanded.
"Yes ma'am." Cyborg whimpered as he stepped aside, allowing Raven access to Beast-Boy's room. Loyalty only went so far after all. Besides, if Beast-Boyhad just listened to him, then he wouldn't need a guard.
***Begin Flashback***
"Why you're still here? You should be half-way to Gotham by now!" Cyborg, in his infinite generosity, had bought Beast-Boy a one-way buss ticket to Gotham in hopes that he could escape Raven.
"See, that's exactly what Raven would expect!" The changeling explained from beneath a pile of clothes. "She knows I'd try to run, and then she'd use some magic, and Boom, I'm dead. She'll never expect me to hide in my room!"
***End Flashback***
Unfortunately for Beast-Boy, Raven knew him well enough to expect this ploy, and in her rage, none of the other Titans even tried to stop her. She walked through the door and looked around, instantly locking onto the pile of cloths. She levitated it away to reveal a cowering Beast-Boy.
"Mercy!" He whimpered, before he morphed into a puppy with what had to be the saddest eyes she had ever seen.
"Sorry, I'm all out of mercy." She said, his ploy having no effect.
'Prepare to eat your words.' Naruto thought as he entered ops. How did he know BB and Raven were there? Why, all he had to do was follow the muffled cries for help. However, Naruto was not prepared for the sight he wanked in on. What he saw… it would be enough to give Orochimaru nightmares.
Beast-Boy floated, suspended by his underwear, as Starfire force fed him some sickly green concoction she had obviously made herself. He shivered, remembering the last time he'd tried something Star had made. Naruto was 80% sure it was alive this time. Scratch that, it's definitely alive, if the way it's now trying to strangle the green teen was any indication. As Starfire casually blasted the tentacles, Naruto walked to the counter where Raven sat. It slightly concerned him that her hood was up, but that could be for any number of reasons.
'Moment of truth furball.'
"So, what did he do this time?" He asked.
She removed her hood, not saying a word, revealing a, surprisingly detailed, depiction of a monocle and bushy mustache in bold black ink.
"Damn it Beast-Boy!" Naruto shouted, rounding on him. "You could have done anything else! Literally anything else!"
"Naruto?" Raven said in a dangerously sweet voice. He slowly turned to face her. Kami, that smile was terrifying, even with the Beast-Boy's additions. "Why are you so upset? You didn't encourage him to do this, did you?"
"NO! No no no no." He denied frantically, waving his hand in in front of him. "I would never do that to you! It's just that this cost me a bet against Kurama. I swear I didn't encourage this!"
"Oh." She said in a tone that in no way relieved him. "So then, you were betting on my suffering?" She asked.
Naruto suddenly became paler than the previously-mentioned Snake Sannin. Thanks to years of dealing with temperamental women like Sakura and Tsunade, he knew there was no escape. "Mercy?" He requested weakly.
"Like I already told Beast-Boy, I'm all out." Instead of lashing out at him like the other women in his life would have, she called out "Hey Starfire!"
She paused, a spoonful of slightly burnt green goop inches from Beast-Boys lips. "Yes, friend Raven?"
"Naruto said he'd love to try a bite of your pudding of punishment."
Her words caused Naruto to somehow pale further. He'd originally assumed that Raven had somehow tricked Starfire into making some Tamaranean delicacy that was at least supposed to be edible. If Starfire's dishes were horrible when she was trying to make it taste good, then what horror did she cook up as a punishment.
"But Naruto, why would you wish to taste the pudding of punishment? It has a most unpleasant flavor."
"Oh, he said he didn't want Beast-Boy top suffer alone." She gave him a look. "Isn't that right?"
Now, Naruto had two options. He could either eat this, most likely poisonous, concoction, or he could have Raven angry at him for an unspecified amount of time. "Of course." Naruto said weakly. "No Titan left behind."
'What do you think you're doing!?' Kurama demanded in genuine panic.
'What I have to.' Naruto replied resolutely.
'You idiot! That's suicide!'
'I've got you to fix me up, remember.'
'You're seriously overestimating my abilities kid.'
Starfire floated over to him. "If you insist." She said, handing him the spoon. He studied it. From a distance, it appeared smooth, but up close, it was covered in tiny hairs, and it pulsed periodically. "Down the hatch." He said. Closing his eyes and, ignoring Kurama's continued protests, he placed the contents into his mouth. He chewed slowly, waiting for the horrible flavor to hit, but it never did.
He swallowed and opened his eyes, confused. "Well, it wasn't pleasant." He said, uncertainly.
"Oh yes. The pudding of punishment is one of the harshest disciplinary measures used on Tamaran. I am not surprised you found it to be lacking in the pleasantness." Humming, she floated back over to Beast-Boy, who's panicked squirming increased at her approach.
"Is he faking it?" Naruto wondered aloud.
"No." Came Raven's reply. He turned to her, about to let her know about the pudding, only to see a glob of the stuff floating beside her. "You didn't think I'd actually let you eat this stuff, did you?" She asked with a smirk.
"You are evil." Naruto claimed, though his poorly concealed smile betrayed his true feelings. A thought occurred to him, and he allowed the grin to split his face. "You realize what this means right?" She cocked her head in confusion. "You just pranked me! This was your first prank!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." She denied, replacing her hood and standing.
"Yes you do! Admit it!"
"Nope." She walked out of the room, Naruto following.
"Come on, this is a great achievement! A milestone! Think of all the pranks we can pull together."
As the voices faded down the hall, the magic holding Beast-Boys undergarments vanished, allowing him to fall to the ground. "Thank you." He groaned.
"Cyborg, You got a minute?" Naruto called over the noise.
He rolled out from under the T-Car. "Sure, what's up?" He asked, standing.
"You know how I was working on fūinjutsu earlier?" Naruto asked, getting a nod in return.
"That stuff the Toad Lady gave you after she beat the tar out of ya."
Naruto shuddered at the memory. "Yeah, well turns out I need a crap ton of paper for it, and Raven said you could help me get it with that internet thing."
"Before I do," Cyborg said sternly, "I feel that I need to remind you about something." He walked towards Naruto, towering over him as he invaded his personal space. "You realize that if you hurt Raven, you're gonna have four very pissed off titans after you, right?"
Naruto didn't back down, instead meeting his gaze with equal intensity. "Trust me, if I do hurt her, I'll gladly accept you do after I finish punishing myself." Naruto replied honestly.
Cyborg held his position for a moment before nodding, satisfied. "As long as we understand each other." He said as he backed off, going to a wall terminal.
"Of course…. Besides" Naruto added "After Raven gets through with me, I doubt there'd be much left for either of us."
Cyborg chuckled as he typed away at the monitor. "Ain't that the truth." It only took him a few more seconds to find what he was looking for. "Alright, I've found an paper supplier that'll do the trick." He looked at Naruto. "I'm assuming you're gonna be using your clones for this?" He got a nod in return. "Alright then, I'll order eight industrial sized rolls, extra durable."
"Only eight? You realize I'm going to be using a hundred clones at once, right? And there's no telling how long it will take."
"Trust me, with the size they make these things, eight's probably overkill."
"It you say so." Naruto said uncertainly.
"I do say so." Cyborg began to walk back to the T-Car, only to pause. "How are you gonna use it in a fight though? I mean, Slade won't wait for you to write it out."
"I know that." Naruto agreed. "It's actually one of the reasons so few people use it back home. I'll have to make them before hand, which is difficult if you don't know who you're going to fight."
"Still, you can only carry so much." Cyborg's expression grew thoughtful. "Does it have to be ink? Cause I could easily whip up a hologram projector."
"Thanks, but that won't work. Fūinjutsu works by using ink to arrange chakra in specific patterns to achieve various results. Without chakra, the formula is useless." Naruto recited. From what he remembered from the eight clones that had actually read the entire scroll, the reason you couldn't clone fūinjutsu was because the chakra-constructed paper interfered with these patterns. It was, in theory, possible to create a working copy if he cloned the formula without the paper. His Dad actually did something similar to mark people with his Hiraishin formula, but Naruto was a long way from being able to do that.
"But does it have to be ink?" Cyborg asked again.
"Technically no. It will work as long as it holds chakra in the correct pattern, but ink is by far the easiest way to do that." Naruto headed for the door. "Anyway, thanks for the help."
"Yeah, no prob." Cyborg absently waved him off, seemingly deep in thought.
"So, what's the plan Red?" Harley asked as she lounged on one of the beds in their hotel room. "Mr. PG Two-Face wants us to take care of little Fishcake as soon as possible." Not many people knew this, but back when she was still sane, Harleen Quinzel minored in Japanese at college, and apparently Naruto was one of the few words the language shared with Elemental. Go figure.
"PG Two-Face?" Poison Ivy asked tiredly. It had only been half a day since they'd broken out of Arkham, and she was already questioning her sanity for bringing the girl with her. Ivy got enough of her antics back in prison.
"Ya' know! His mask's got two parts, but it's not ugly enough to scare the kids!" Harley tapped her chin in thought. "I wonder if he does birthday parties?"
"Yes, I'm sure that Slade, the super villain, makes money at birthday parties." She said sarcastically.
"Ooh! Can he come to mine! Can he? Can he?"
"Alright! Sure, you can hire him for your party."
"Yay!"
Ivy huffed and, wanting to change the subject, answered her original question. "As for Naruto, for now we wait." She slowly extended a tube of lipstick. "When the opportunity presents itself, I have a special gift for him."
"Aw!" Harley complained. "Waitin's so boring! Can't we just blow something up?"
"No."
"Pretty please!"
"No Harley!"
"What if it's something really small, like a car!"
"Harley!"
Naruto awoke, for the second time, in Raven's arms. 'I could get used to this.' He thought.
'Not today you're not! Remember, today's my turn.' Kurama said gleefully.
Now Naruto was genuinely concerned. Not for the city or the world, but for his reputation. Who knew what sort of things he might do while in his body or what sort of stories he might tell the others. He froze as he remembered the one thing that Kurama must, under absolutely no circumstances, tell Raven.
'Don't worry brat. I won't tell your little vixen about Shion. I'm saving that bit of blackmail for a rainy day.'
'That's not very reassuring.'
'Who said it was supposed to be?'
Grumbling at his partner, Naruto shook Raven awake. Even with bed hair, she was still beautiful. Of course, it helped that she'd been able to remove Beast-Boy's accessories with rubbing alcohol. "Mm. Morning Naruto." She greeted wearily.
"Morning Hime." He responded fondly, and gave her a soft kiss which she gladly returned.
"She glanced out through a crack in the curtains and saw that the sun had just begun to rise. "Why'd you get me up so early? We usually wait a little before meditating."
Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah… remember that bet I lost to Kurama?" She nodded. "Well, the deal was that he gets my body for today, unsupervised." Raven raised a brow in slight surprise. Like Naruto, she trusted him not to abuse his body, but the unsupervised bit was a bit strange. "I just wanted to see my beautiful girlfriend again before I handed it over."
"Well, I'm glad you did." Raven leaned closer. "I'd hate to give this to the wrong person." She said as she pulled him into a longer kiss.
'Ahem.' Kurama interrupted after a minute. 'As much as I enjoy watching you make out, I have some things to do today.'
Naruto sighed, puling away. "The fuzzball's getting pushy. Keep an eye on him?" He requested as he got out of the bed. Only he got to be in bed with her.
"Sure thing." Raven agreed.
Satisfied, Naruto closed his eyes. When he opened them, red silted eyes had replaced his intense blue ones.