Two figures sat atop Titan's tower, bathed in the glow of the rising sun. Beside a floating Raven, Naruto sat peacefully, fully in tune with the nature around him. Since the Val-Yor incident two weeks ago, he had taken to joining Raven in her morning meditation. He did this both to gather natural energy for Kurama and, though he'd only admit to himself, to spend more time with the female.
Unbeknownst to him, Raven had finished her meditation, and was now just observing him, her hood down, with a fond smile. Since summoning Pa, he'd had fairly consistent communication with his home world. One of the first scrolls he'd received had contained several items, including his clothes. He looked good, she decided, decked out in his new sage cloak. She blushed slightly, thinking about the previous night.
***Begin Long Flashback***
"Hey Raven-chan?" Naruto asked.
"Yes?" They were currently sitting off to the side in the main room, watching, or ignoring in Raven's case, Beast-Boy and Cyborg argue about meat again. Even though she had finally found a translation spell, though it had been surprisingly difficult to find one that worked on Kurama, they still enjoyed each other's company. They'd often discuss various topics, or just sit together in comfortable silence.
"Why do you always wear your hood up?"
"It adds to the image." She supplied, looking up from her book.
"The image?"
"Yes. If you can intimidate your opponents, they don't fight as well." She explained.
"Oh, that makes sense." As a ninja, Naruto knew all about intimidation tactics. Back home, Ibiki was a master with them. "Still, why are you wearing it now? We're all friends here, and I like looking at your face!"
"You do?" She asked… hopefully? Why did she care so much?
"Well, yeah. I mean, you're one of the prettiest girls I know! Why wouldn't I?"
She blushed an atomic red, though thankfully her still-raised hood hid it well. Having gotten too know him much better over the past two weeks, she knew he meant it. He wasn't flirting, or just saying that to make her feel nice; he wasn't that kind of guy. Whenever he spoke, he only told the whole, unfiltered truth. It was refreshing.
Besides, he was more oblivious than Beast-Boy. When they'd gone out for pizza, the waitress was clearly trying to seduce him, something that bothered Raven. Luckily, he hadn't noticed. At all.
"Thank you." She managed sincerely, before feeling compelled to ask, "What about Starfire?"
"Eh, she's cute," He rubbed the back of his head, "but her hair reminds me too much of my Mom. Look." He reached down, pulled out a scroll, and unrolled it onto the table with both hands. He then channeled some chakra into it, unsealing a picture.
A few days ago, Raven had visited Naruto in his room, being drawn by a steady banging noise. There, she had found Naruto repeatedly hitting the wall with his head while muttering "Baka". Apparently, he'd had a technique called a 'henge' that could give him a temporary arm. He'd explained that it would vanish after one hit, so it wouldn't be useful in battle (except for his clones, who already shared the same limitation), but he could use it for non-combative situations. She added it to her ever growing list of his abilities. Upon hearing him rant about stingy prankster foxes, she'd been unable to contain her giggles any longer.
Back in the present, she looked at the photo he handed her. In it, a man who looked remarkably similar to Naruto was holding a pregnant woman's belly, looking at it with such love she could feel it through the picture. The woman, who possessed red-hair similar to Starfire's, was smiling, looking just as happy. "Are those…?"
"My parents." He confirmed. After a quiet pause, during which Raven lowered her hood to get a better look, he added, "You know, I actually got to meet them."
This surprised Raven, who knew how they'd died after she'd asked for the full story behind Kurama's sealing, as well as his treatment by the villagers. Suffice it to say, she'd had to meditate for a few extra hours that night. "How?"
"When they sealed Kurama in me, they both left some of their chakra behind to help me with him." He chuckled fondly. "I actually punched Dad in the gut when he showed up," This drew a smile from Raven. "But we talked, and I came to understand how much it hurt him to do it, ya know? Talking to them, I could tell how much they loved me." A tear slid down his smiling face.
"That must have been nice." Raven commented, not knowing what else to say.
"It was." Raven was searching for something to say before he continued. "I hope I can have that one day."
"Have what?"
"A family." He responded, unaware of how that set Raven's heart racing. "Some kids to spoil, that I can smother with love. A wife that I can devote myself to, that I can give my heart to." He let out a wistful sigh. "Maybe some day I'll find the right person."
Raven, her heart still racing, placed her hand over his. "You will. You're too great a guy not to." As Naruto took his turn to blush, she quietly excused herself, handing him back the picture. "I have something I need to do. Thank you for talking about this with me. We should… do it again sometime."
His eyes met hers and he smiled.
She calmly walked out into the hall, before the door shut behind her. Then, she flew to her room, quickly shutting the door behind her. Walking over to her dresser, she picked up a demonic looking mirror. She didn't know what was going on with her emotions, but she was going to find out.
***End Long Flashback***
The conversation with her emotions had been… interesting to say the least. But at least she now knew what was going on: she was in love. It didn't make any sense. It had only been two weeks, barely enough time to for a fledgling crush to form, much less fall in love. And yet, that's exactly what had happened. After Malchior, she'd all but given up on love, especially with her Father's prophecy looming over her. But then this strange blond teen, who'd managed to somehow worm his way into her heart, evoking emotions so strong that she was surprised she hadn't accidentally blown up the tower. Actually, now that she thought about it, her powers never seemed to spike around him. Oh well, something to think about later. For now, she was content to watch her friend.
While to an outside observer, Naruto appeared, inside his mindscape, he paced back and forth furiously. "Calm down brat." Kurama said from under the shade of a massive tree. "You're giving me whiplash." After everything had settled down in this new dimension, Naruto had set about changing his mindscape for his friend. It had been surprisingly easy, what with him being able to draw upon both Kurama's and Raven's vast knowledge on the subject. It no longer resembled a sewer, but a vast grassy field, spotted with the occasional giant tree (Not as large as the God-Tree, but large enough for Kurama to sit comfortably under). That wasn't what had him up in arms, though. No, it was something much more serious.
"I can't, and you know that!" He shouted in Elemental. While they could both speak English, they still preferred their own language. Despite yelling at him, though, Kurama wasn't the one Naruto was mad at. "That bastard is planning on killing Raven-chan to invade Earth! And we have no idea how to stop it!" Yes, Naruto knew about Trigon. When he'd asked Raven why her energy shared similarities with Slade, she told him pretty much everything, much to her own surprise. It was one thing to be half demon. It was another to be the harbinger for Armageddon. However, his reaction made her glad she did.
***Begin Short Flashback***
Naruto, having just been told about Trigon's plans, growled. "Naruto?" Raven asked, unsure at the sound.
"He has no right." He ground out, before shouting in Elemental, "He has no right to use you like that! He's supposed to be your father! He's supposed to protect you! To love you! But instead he-!" He stopped, reigning in his partners chakra that he'd allowed to leak out, before continuing. "I won't let that happen. We will stop your Fa- no he lost the right to be called that. We will stop Trigon. Together. I won't let him take you!" He finished with conviction.
Meeting Raven's eyes, he saw tears forming, and was about to apologize for whatever he said to upset her when she threw her arms around him, letting her tears fall as she rested her face on his chest. "Thank you, Naruto."
He smiled. "Of course, Raven-hime."
***End Short Flashback***
He wasn't sure if they could take Trigon at full strength, which would still take them several months to achieve. And it wasn't like using shadow clones could speed up the process either. No matter how many he made, his overall reserves, and thus the amount of natural energy he gathered, stayed the same. It didn't really matter, as it was a moot point anyway. If he had to fight Trigon, that would mean that Raven was already dead, something he refused to let happen.
Since learning about it, he'd been constantly searching for a way to stop the prophesy. Unfortunately, Kurama wasn't much help. Not that he was unwilling, but as he'd said, "Kit, I'm not like other demons. I never spent time in hell, or went to Demon School, or whatever. I'm just as clueless as you are." Since then, at any point in time he had over a dozen Shadow Clones scouring the internet and whatever old tomes they could find in an attempt to find a solution. Still it was a slow process.
Kurama looked at his friend. He, of course, knew why the boy was so worked up. It was clear as day that he had feelings for Raven, strong ones at that. Unfortunately, it was something he had to figure out for himself. "Kid, calm down. I know it's frustrating. I'm just as upset as you are. But we're doing everything we can, so there's no point in ranting like that Uchiha about it. Besides, we both know we can kick this "Slade's" ass if it comes to that."
Naruto took a deep breath to calm himself, before smiling up at his furry friend. "Thanks, Kurama." He paused, then frowned, "I wasn't as bad as Sasuke, was I?"
The fox laughed. "Not quite, but you were getting there."
Naruto shuddered. "If it ever gets to that point, just stomp on me a few times, will you?"
"Will do. Now, get out of here. Your green friend's coming up here."
Back outside his mind, Naruto opened his eyes as the door to the roof opened. Turning to face it, he saw that it was indeed Beast-Boy. "Dudes, come on! We got a mission! Apparently, some UFO's are taking… are taking…" he trailed off, as his eyes glazed over. Naruto looked to Raven in confusion, but she just shrugged.
"Beast-Boy? You ok there?" She questioned. In response, she heard a low rumbling sound. "Are- Are you purring?" She asked in disbelief as she walked towards him. However, he ignored Raven and headed towards her friend.
"Beast-Boy?" Naruto asked uncertainly as the green human approached. His uncertainty changed to concern as he morphed into a large green tiger, the purring now a deep rumble. "Beast-Boy?!" He questioned again, a bit more urgently as he began to scramble to his feet. Unfortunately, he never made it that far.
In one leap, the tiger pounced on him, knocking him to the ground and dispersing his henged arm. "Naruto!" Raven cried in panic as she rushed over, before pausing at the strange sight. Beast-Boy, still rumbling like a jet turbine, was nuzzling rubbing his entire body against Naruto, wrapping his paws around him to prevent escape.
"Raven! Help Me!" Naruto shouted in panic. Sure, he had enhanced strength as he was still in sage mode, but with only one arm, he couldn't pry him off. The only way to free himself would be to hit his friend, and with the aforementioned strength, that was a bad idea.
Raven, snapping out of her stupor, continued her approached. Upon arriving at the duo, she noticed that the feline's eyes were extremely dilated. Honestly, it reminded her of the time Starfire covered herself in catnip and dragged her to the cat shelter. Seeing that neither were in any real danger, she decided that this was an opportunity that she couldn't pass up.
"In a bit, Naruto." As she said this, a video-camera appeared next to her in a burst of black energy. "I just need to get some evidence first." Naruto looked at her, then the camera, then back at her, before smirking.
"YES! I knew you were a prankster!" He shouted in victory.
"It's not a prank. It's blackmail." She denied.
"Sure it is." Naruto replied smugly.
After several minutes of filming, Naruto's sage mode ran out. As Beast-Boy started to come out of his stupor, Naruto suddenly smacked himself in the face. Or he would have, if he wasn't still being restrained. "Of course." He groaned.
"What?" Raven asked, not getting it.
"He was attracted to my sage mode." He groaned.
"Huh, why? Is it because of his powers?" Raven questioned.
"Partially. All animals instinctively seek out natural energy. It's why most animals avoid cities. However, Beast-Boy is connected to nature in a way I've never seen, in either animals or sages. To him, I must have seemed like a drug to him." He explained.
"That was… surprisingly well said." Raven commented, before deadpanning, "Kurama helped you put that together, didn't he."
"Hey! I can be smart!"
"Uh-huh." She said, not believing him.
Just then, the tiger morphed back into Beast-Boy. "Uhg, what happened?" He questioned, rubbing his eyes. Opening them, he saw that he was straddling Naruto. Springing back, he yelled "DUDE, what are you doing!" He looked around, "And how did I get up here?"
"Well, after you came up here to tell us about a mission, you decided to attack Naruto with tiger cuddles." Raven smirked.
"What! I didn't do that!" He claimed, before looking at Naruto for support. "Right!"
"Hate to burst your manly image, but you did." Seeing that he was about to go into denial, he pointed back at Raven. Following his finger, Beast-Boy say that she was holding a video-camera so that he could see the screen. There, said cuddling could be seen playing. "DUDES!"
(AN: Assume that all Shadow Clones have two hands, and Naruto has a constant henge of one outside of combat.)
A few days later, Cyborg could be seen hurtling through the night sky on some sort of spacecraft. "GHAAAHH! Is that all you got!" He challenged. As if to spite him, the craft jerked and flipped around in an attempt to throw him off, zooming away from the farm they'd confronted it at.
Robin launched himself off his motorcycle before spreading his cape like a glider. He then propelled himself with the boosters in his shoes. "Cyborg, we're closing in. Hang on!" he called through their com link.
"That's what I'm trying to do!" He yelled back, as the craft continued to jerk around. As Robin, Raven, Beast-Boy (as a pterodactyl) and Starfire flew after him, Naruto ran beneath it, as he'd officially been welcomed as a teen titan.
(AN: I mean, he was able to outrun a train while carrying a grown woman at age 12. I'm pretty sure he can keep up.)
Summoning shadow clone, Naruto nodded at it. C-Naruto grabbed the original's hand and flung him up to the ship before dispersing. Sticking to the bottom with chakra, he was about to climb to the top, but was stopped as he was struck by electric beams, knocking him off. "Naruto!" Raven yelled as she prepared to dive and catch him.
Before she could do so, he created a clone mid air and, using it as a springboard, jumped forward, breaking his downward momentum and propelling him back towards the UFO. He repeated once more, then landed on the ground running. "I'm ok! Help Cyborg!" He called as they approached the city. Using some chakra-enhanced parkour, he was able maneuver through the buildings and catch up with them in time to see the ship suddenly stop mid-air, throwing Cyborg forward into a building.
Raven was able to hold hp the falling debris long enough for Starfire and Robin to clear out the people under it, before allowing it to fall to the ground. He landed beside the Titans, sans Beast-Boy, as Robin questioned his Teammate. "Cyborg! Where did it go!"
"I don't know." He scratched his head in confusion.
Just then, a clearly exhausted green bear walked up to them, transforming into Beast-Boy. "This is the third time this week it's gotten away!" Robin exclaimed in agitation as he pounded his palm.
"At least there's some good news!" Cyborg replied cheerfully as he brushed some ruble off his shoulder.
"You finally decided to let me drive the T-Car?" Beast-Boy asked in hope. Naruto managed to resist the urge to snort at that disastrous scenario, knowing full well that Cyborg would never allow it.
"NO! I found a new place for breakfast!" Cyborg exclaimed, moving to give them a clear view as the sun rose behind him.
"Mega Meaty Meat?" Robin questioned. "I've never heard of this place before."
"Sound's healthy." Raven remarked sarcastically as she lowered her hood.
"Come on guys, what better way to end a steak-out than with a nice, juicy steak!" He exclaimed, as his head seemed to expand.
'Huh, where'd he learn Iruka-sensei's Big-Head jutsu?' Naruto wandered.
"Hellooo! Does the word 'I'm a vegetarian' mean anything to you!" He yelled, getting in his face. "There is no way you could ever get me inside a place like that." He crossed his arms. "Tell them Naruto!"
"Tell them what?" He questioned.
Beast-Boy rounded on him and exclaimed, "Aren't you sage-people supposed to like animals!" He pointed at the building dramatically. "This place is a slaughter-house."
"A sage?" Robin questioned.
"Eh, sorry Beast-Boy, I've gotta go with Cy on this one." He denied, getting a "My Man!" in return. "Every Sage I know eats meat." He continued, before thinking, "Well, I'm not sure about Super Gramps. One sec."
'Oi Kurama, did Super Gramps eat meat?'
'Are you really asking me that?' he deadpanned.
'Yes! It's important!'
'Yes, the old man ate meat. Now let me sleep' He said in exasperation.
"Yep! All the sage's I've met ate meat." Naruto confirmed.
Beast-Boy looked at him, betrayed. "Well I'm still not going!"
"Besides," Robin interjected, "We should get back to the tower and start tracking that ship."
Back at the tower, Naruto was preparing some Ichiraku's Cup ramen, courtesy of his new favorite scroll, when he spotted Beast-Boy drooling to a magazine. 'NO! I thought I was done with perverts in this dimension!'
"Isn't she amazing?" He heard. 'Sweet Kami, he's actually panting!'
He watched as Starfire walked up behind him, prompting him quickly ducked behind the counter to avoid being caught up in her female fury on the pervert, unaware of Starfire's stash of 'special' books.
From behind the counter, he heard her question, "Um, you are aware that this 'she' you feel affection for is merely a land vehicle." Causing Naruto to face-fault
'Seriously?' he questioned, before his timer buzzed. "Alright!" He exclaimed, grabbing the food of the gods.
Later, Naruto walked back into the main room to see an irritated Raven rubbing her temples. "What did Beast-Boy do this time?" He asked, knowing full well that his green friend has perfected the art of annoying her.
"He came in hear complaining about a conspiracy to keep him from getting a moped." She groaned.
"What's a moped?" Naruto may know the language, but it there wasn't an equivalent word for it Elemental, he was left in the dark.
"It's kind of like a motorcycle."
He thought for a bit, before putting the pieces together. "Would a moped be considered a 'Land Vehicle'?"
"Yes?" She confirmed, unsure why he asked that, then startled chuckling. Raven waited, not quite minding the sound of his laughter. As he settled down, she asked "What's so funny?"
He let out another small chuckle as he explained. "Ok, so I was making some ramen in the kitchen-"
She cut him off. "I thought I told you to lighten up on the ramen?" When he'd received his first delivery from the toads, he'd eaten it for every meal until Raven had put her foot down.
"I only had one cup!" He defended himself. Seeing her nod in acknowledgement, he continued. "So I was in the kitchen making ramen, when I see Beast-Boy drooling over what I assumed was a porn magazine, when Starfire walks up behind him-"
"WHAT!" She shouted, sparks of black energy emerging from her eyes. How DARE he expose her innocent friend to such material. (Oh Raven, if only you knew.)
'Ah, there's the female fury. It's actually pretty cool to see when it's not aimed at me or Ero-Sennin.' He idly thought through his terror.
"Wait, let me finish before you go kill him!" He got out. Seeing her rage diminish slightly, he spoke rapidly. "So, Star said 'You are aware that this 'she' is a land vehicle,' And beast boy gets all upset that she called it 'just' a land vehicle. I was laughing because I just now realized he was drooling over a motorcycle." His delivery of the story was rushed, but hopefully it would be enough to save Beast-Boy's life.
Thankfully the angry sparks of energy dissipated, and the calming Raven remarked, "You know, I really should have seen that coming. He probably doesn't even know what porn is." Naruto sighed in relief, making a mental note to never do anything to have that anger directed at him.
"Let's see…" Cyborg contemplated. The team was currently sitting at the counter of Mega Meaty Meat, the current place of work of their favorite vegetarian. The irony was not lost on any of them. "I'll have eight number threes, five number twos, two number ones," He continues rabid fire, before finishing slowly, "and a diet soda."
"Actually we don't have soda," Beast-Boy said, carefully neutral, "only meat."
"Ok. Then make it a cup of meat juice." Cyborg amended with no hesitation.
"Please, specifically what variety of meat is it that you serve?" Starfire inquired.
"Um, Bob say's that's a trade secret." Beast-Boy intoned, sounding as if he were reading off a script.
"Are you the only one that works here?" Raven asked, uncertainly.
"Bob say's that's a trade secret too." Beast-Boy repeated.
"Is there anything that isn't a trade secret?" This come from Naruto, who found the whole restaurant to be suspicious. He could spot multiple code violations in just the front alone, which he only knew about because a group of clones had decided to get back at him for hogging all the ramen. Stupid clones.
"Bob say's that's a trade secret." Came the predictable response.
"So where is this 'Bob' anyway?" Robin asked, also suspicious.
"In the back."
"Yeah. I'm glad that you found a way to make some extra money Beast-Boy, but don't you think this place seems a little… weird?"
"Dude, they have fries made out of meat. YES this place is weird, and I hate it! But I'm not leaving till I earn that moped."
Looking at said moped, Naruto couldn't help but wonder what was so great about it.
Five trays, each carrying one sandwich each, slid out of the hole in the wall. Picking them up, Beast boy placed one in front of each of them. 'Where's the rest of Cyborg's food. Better yet, the rest of us haven't even ordered!' He poked the meat, which giggled slightly. 'It can't be worse than Ma's bugs.'
"Ok. I can't eat until that thing stops looking at me." Raven stated, pointing towards the… really creepy meat statue. "Its MEAT-TASTIC"
Naruto was about to comment, but Kurama beat him to it: 'Kit, channel some natural energy. Something about this place doesn't feel right.'
'But what about Beast-Boy?'
'Not enough for him to notice, I just want to get a reading on the area. There's only a faint trickle of negative emotions, but this place is making my skin crawl.'
Doing as his partner suggested, Naruto closed his eyes and became totally still… for all of four seconds before they snapped open in shock. 'Ok, I may not know much about earth restaurant (besides what those damn clones read about), but I know that's not right.'
Looking over at the leader, he was about to inform him when his communicator beeped. "Trouble! The UFO is back!" Robin announced, prompting him and the team dashed to exit.
"Robin, wait. Something's not right." Naruto informed him outside.
"Hm? What do you mean?" Robin questioned as donned his bike helmet.
"There's a whole bunch of large animals in the building behind Meaty Meat." Naruto explained.
"How many." The masked teen asked, giving him his full attention. He'd asked Naruto to explain sage abilities after Beast-Boy had mentioned it earlier, so he trusted his friend's assessment.
"Over a hundred."
Now, never let it be said that Batman slacked when teaching Robin. Being trained by the world's greatest detective, he quickly put the pieces together. "The cows. Are you sure?"
"Yeah." He confirmed.
Robin thought about this. On one hand, he still didn't know why the aliens wanted the cows. On the other hand, there had been a clear UFO citing, and it was a direct danger to civilians. Quickly altering his plans, Robin gave his orders as Cyborg and Raven caught up to them. "Ok. Naruto, leave us some clones. We can make do with them. Investigate Mega Meaty Meat, but be discrete. I don't want Beast-Boy getting fired if they just really care about the freshness of their meat. The rest of us will go take down the UFO." Naruto nodded, then he made a dozen clones for Robin's use.
Before he could leave, however, Raven stopped him. "Be careful." She said in her usual monotone. Despite that, Naruto could tell she truly meant the words.
"Of course! I'm an awesome ninja, remember." He cheerfully replied, bringing a small smile to her face.
'Don't these places usually have doors?' Naruto wondered as he circled the building behind Mega Meaty Meat for the fifth time.
'Seems awfully suspicious brat. Maybe you should just bust in.'
'We're trying to be discrete here.' He argued. As he continued his search, he received the memories of a clone. 'So that's what they're using the cows for. Weird.' Any further discussion was halted by a loud roar, followed by several crashes.
'So much for discretion'
'Yeah.' Naruto agreed, knowing that the sounds came from Beast-Boy. He charged a Rasengan in his hand and was about to blow a hole in the wall, before the building rumbled. It fell away to reveal a strange pole-like craft. 'That's new.' He thought. "RASENGAN!" Naruto shouted, driving the rotating sphere of energy into the newly revealed wall.
He entered the chamber, only to see a hoard of over-weight men. Along the walls, all the missing cows were hooked up to some device. And Beast-Boy… was talking to a jar. 'Seriously?' Naruto thought with a sweat drop.
"I'm guessing your ship won't leave without you!" Beast-Boy exclaimed, shifting into a bird and carrying said jar over the men. Naruto sighed before leaping over them towards his friend.
Exiting through the same door Beast-Boy had, he entered the restaurant and saw the teen mounting the prize moped. "Beast-Boy!" Naruto called, surprising him. "What's going on!"
"Oh, so it turns out Mega Meaty Meat is actually space tofu that came her to steal cows and destroy the Earth. So I kidnapped their leader before he could leave!" He exclaimed, presenting the jar proudly. Naruto would have commented on just how stupid that sounded, but the hoard of men burst through the back. "AH! It's the Bobs!" He yelped. He quickly grabbed Naruto, ignoring his "Hey!" of protest, before driving out the restaurant. "YEEE HAAA!" Beast-Boy shouted in glee as Naruto barely managed to keep himself from falling off with a quick application of chakra. "This is so cool!"
"Foolish human!" The most annoying voice Naruto had ever heard sounded from the jar. Looking inside it he saw… 'That is cube. A cube with a face.' Naruto thought in a deadpan. Still, he'd seen weirder. "I have created enough newfu for an army of the Bobs! You will NEVER get away! Your city is doomed! YOUR PLANET IS DOOMED!" The cube continued to shriek.
Beast-Boy shrieked as he drove towards an army of the newly-identified Bobs. "Hi ya Tommy! Be a sport and hand over our supreme creator would ya?" one of them asked. Naruto, who was about to jump off and fight their way through, was surprised when Beast-Boy immediately sped away from them.
"Hey, we could have taken them!" Naruto shouted over the wind.
"There's too many of them!" He replied, before skidding to a stop before a bridge infested with more Bobs.
"All we want is the source Andy!" They informed them, creepily in sync. "And your cows."
"Not gonna' happen!" Beast-Boy declared, before charging straight at them on the moped.
'Didn't he just run from a smaller group of them?'
"Insolent human! Your futile charge will end in defeat!" The alien cube shouted.
"I hope there's a plan here!" Naruto commented.
"You're forgetting we're ridding on a Tidwell 3000!" Was the confident reply. "And it has Turbo!" He pressed a red button on the handle, activating FREAKING ROCKETS on the back to fire. 'Ok, I'm starting to see why he's so obsessed with this thing.' As they rushed forward, the bike's front lifted, launching them over the Bobs. All three passengers yelled, the boys in excitement, and the source in fear.
They landed past the Bobs then sped towards Titian's Tower. He road it up the stairs, almost knocking Naruto off, before flying into the main room. He hopped off, prompting Naruto to do the same. The moped skidded to a halt before the couch as the two teens landed in dramatic poses. Behind them, a stadium of people cheered as three judges lifted their signs, each displaying the number ten. Kurama sweet dropped inside the seal.
However, a certain white cube decided to end their fun. "YOU WILL SUFFER FOR YOUR IMPUDENCE GREEN HUMAN! I am the source, feared across three galaxies! Destroyer of-" It's dramatic ranting was cut off as Beast-Boy threw him into the fridge.
The green teen groaned as he sunk to the ground. "That was fun!" He heard from the ground. He looked up to see a smiling Naruto.
"Dude! No it wasn't!"
"Aww, lighten up! It's just a cube of fake meat and some over-weight dudes. How hard can this be!"
"They're about to blow up the planet!" Beast-Boy yelled, causing the smile to fall from his face.
"Oh, that's bad."
"Yeah." He shook off his scarf and helmet. "Ok. Think Beast-Boy think." He told himself as he knocked his skull. "Ghooooo!" He exclaimed, venting his stress as he messed up his hair. He then dramatically threw open the door, all anxiety gone, and demanded in a commanding voice, "I've got questions and you better give me answers. How do I free the cows, stop the Bobs, and shut down the destructo-tron!"
"Hahahahahaha!" The source laughed. "Foolish green human! I will never tell! And when my ship fails to launch as planned, it will detonate, Automatically!" Beast-Boy's exposed canine glinted ominously. He quickly threw the source on a plate, now out of the jar, as it continued. "Submit to my greatness, and I might just spare your pathetic…!" Its confident monologue abruptly ended as it asked uncertainly "Uh, what- what is this?"
A fork impaled the table beside it as a maniacal Beast-Boy, frothing at the mouth, declared "Lunch!"
'Ooh, I just got chills. Who knew Beast-Boy had it in him. He'd probably get along great with Anko, what with her fetish for snakes.'
'That is a horrifying idea. I can only imagine what she could do with access to all those animals.' Kurama interjected with a shudder.
"And I just happen to be in the mood for a nutritious meat-free substitute."
'He's bluffing, right?'
"Really… yo… You're just trying to scare me!" It yelled defiantly.
"Am I? Say hello to my good friend Barbeque Sauce!" He replied with total confidence as he menacingly lifted a bottle of the sauce.
'Oh dear Kami he's not bluffing!'
"Hey, he's not bluffing, he really will eat you!" Naruto warned as Beast-Boy squirted the BBQ sauce on it.
It sputtered, "Stop!" It yelled desperately. "The secret is water! Newfu reverts to its normal state in the presence of water! Please don't eat me!" It sobbed.
"That's more like it! Now let's talk cows!" He continued, mechanically lifting a jug of soy sauce.
Armed with water guns, the duo rode the moped to Mega Meaty Meat, spraying the Bobs along the way. Once they arrived, Beast-Boy pointed at the destructo-tron, seemingly frozen for a second, before saying, "Maybe this can wait."
He tried to walk away, only for Naruto to grab him. "What are you doing! We don't know how much time we have left!" Dragging the terrified boy behind him, he shoulder-slammed through the wall of the bomb, revealing a single on-off lever. "Seriously?" Naruto asked in disbelief. He walked over to it and grabbed the handle.
"EEEP!" Beast-Boy yelped as Naruto pulled it, ducking in the corner. When they did not explode, he sighed in relief.
Across town, the spaceships that were currently engaged with the Titans, as well as the Bobs, popped, reverting back to cubes of newfu. "Can this day get any weirder?" Robin questioned, surrounded by cows.
As a hoard of Naruto clones took care of the cows, Beast-Boy explained what happened at the Tower to the others. "So it turns out that Mega Meaty Meat is really space Tofu that came here to steal our cows and destroy the Earth. But I kidnapped the alien leader then I" Naruto coughed into his hand, "We shut down the destructo-tron before the world could explode!" He walked over to his shaking vehicle. "And I did it all thanks to my awesome new moped!" As he finished his declaration, the moped collapsed into parts, causing Beast-Boy to gasp in horror.
"You forgot to mention that you tortured the leader with Barbecue sauce." Naruto added.
"Right. So where is the alien leader?" An incredulous Robin asked.
"Oh, he's in the fridge." The suddenly calm sounding green teen answered, before snapping back to look at Cyborg. There, sitting at the table, he held an empty plate as he licked barbecue sauce off his fingers.
As he finished, he looked up to see everyone's horrified expression. "What?"