(Ivy's apartment)
Naruto sighed as he filled yet another box with Ivy's crap. His apartment was packed up by him and Komi yesterday so now he along with the rest of the crew were packing up Ivy's.
Suddenly Ivy's phone rang which she looked at and sighed
"I swear whoever this is can't take the hint" Ivy said with a groan
"Here let me handle it babe" Naruto said as he took the phone
"Don't call me that" Ivy said flatly before Naruto stole the phone from her grip "hey!"
"No promises. Ok asshole whoever this is you better have a fucking will written out-" Naruto was saying before he was cut off
"Well hello my big dicked foxy stud" a sensual voice purred out on the other side of the phone making Naruto freeze
"….fuck!" Naruto yelled as he threw the phone out the window breaking the glass.
"Hey!" Ivy yelled not happy at her phone being tossed out
"No no no! Fuck fuck fuck! No fuck No!" Naruto yelled pacing around the apartment in a panic
"Naruto calm down!" Harley ordered
"You calm down! No no no! This isn't happening!" Naruto yelled freaking the hell out
"Wow you haven't been this jumpy since Psycho spiked your ramen" Shark said
"It was worth it!" Psycho yelled
"It was worth having him shove a sandpaper baseball bat up your bunghole?" Harley asked with a wince as she could still hear Psycho's girlish screams
"Anything to fuck with the asshole who fucked my wife dammit!" Psycho yelled with a glare
"Ex wife" Ivy smirked as she kinda found this funny
"No no no no no! She found me! How'd she find me! Did one of you sell me out?!" Naruto yelled in a panic
"Oh wow is it an ex?" Clayface asked with some worry
"It's a butter face isn't it?" Psycho asked with a laugh
"Oh fuck me! I'm doomed! It was you! Wasn't it!" Naruto yelled at Psycho as he grabbed him and shook him
"Babe calm down now, who is it that has you acting like a little punk?" Komi asked
"No it Couldn't be you. You Wouldn't know her. This is supes doing!" Naruto yelled in a rage throwing Psycho to the floor as he started scratching at his neck in his panic
"Babe?" Komi asked again starting to get worried
"I'm gonna find old blue and shank him with a steak bone! I'll eat his heart out his chest! I'll skip rope with his entrails! How dare he do this!" Naruto yelled
"Ok as fun as it is to watch you act like a bitch I wanted to ask Psycho for some help" Harley said as Naruto continued to pace in a panic
"Help with what? How to look like a mime prostitute? Cause you already have that covered" Psycho snarked
"No you dumbass! I was wondering if you knew any lairs around here. Maybe some lair estate agents" Harley told him with a glare
"Bah! I never needed a lair!" Psycho yelled
"Yeah cause you're too busy being an extra for mini me on Austin Powers movies" Naruto grumbled under his breath while still scratching his neck. Now he was also sitting and rocking back and forth in his panic.
"Fuck you manwhore!" Psycho growled
"Look as fun as this is do any of you idiots know a damned lair estate agent?" Harley sighed
"I do" King Shark said simply as he raised his hand
"You do?" Ivy asked with a raised eyebrow
"Yeah. Had a blind date with a lair estate agent. Long story. Didn't go anywhere. Anyways I ended up getting the agency she worked for." King Shark said as he gave Harley the agency number.
"Awesome! Ives let's go!" Harley cheered as she grabbed Ivy and pulled her out the door. Leaving the crew to unpack and Naruto to continue his freak out
(8 hours later)
The door burst open as Harley kicked open the door again with Ivy and an Estate agent in tow. "Hey how goes the packing?" Harley asked her crew
"The manwhore is useless! He keeps twitching cause his ex is looking for him!" Psycho yelled as he tried to move a couch
"You don't know Its an ex. he doesn't have exes. Just former customers. And they don't stay former for long" Komi said with a scowl at Psycho's implication
"Is this a bad time?" The estate agent asked hoping to leave this freakshow
"No! I mean no please take a seat. I'm sure you have the perfect lair for us" Harley said gesturing to the estate agent to sit down
"Harley, you got us shirts! Is that what we're calling ourselves? Suicide Squad?" Shark asked as he threw on a suicide squad shirt
"Blegh! No! It's just some group that keeps asking me to join them!" Harley groaned as Shark put shirts on each of them
"Waller is still pulling that shit? You think after me, Livewire, and Frost killed the whole team and bailed she would catch the hint" Naruto groaned as he finally stopped panicking after taking a breath.
"Ok I'm just gonna leave" The estate agent tried to leave but Naruto stood in front of her.
"Yeah no. See the boss asked you to sit down. So please sit down and help her find a lair or I'll be making a lair with your bones and blood" Naruto threatened
The estate agent quickly sat down "good girl. Now start selling us on our dream lair. But do it quickly. I get bored pretty easily" Naruto threatened
"Oh good he's back" Komi sighed in relief
"Hey manwhore some slut keeps calling me asking for you" Psycho said with a snicker as he held up his phone
"Oh god no!" Naruto yelled as he grabbed the phone and decayed it to ash.
"Hey!" Psycho yelled in irritation at his phone being destroyed
"Ok Miss Quinn I have a few questions. First let's start with an easy one. Why did you become a supervillain?" The estate agent asked
"Oh good you know this." Ivy said relieved
"Oh that's easy you see… um… I don't know" Harley said
"Oh crap" Ivy sighed as she held her head
"Didn't you go all simp because of the Joker? -oi!" Naruto asked before he yelled as Harley threw her bat at him
"Ok um. Guns or knives?" The estate agent asked
"I don't know!" Harley yelled as she looked at the estate
"Chocolate or vanilla?!" The estate agent yelled back
"I don't know! I don't know! I don't kno-" Harley was yelling before she suddenly froze entirely mid yell
"... that is the worst O face I've ever seen" Naruto commented seeing Harley's frozen face
"It's not that you moron. It's a brain freeze. Someone see if she responds to physical contact" Psycho said as he knew these sorts of things involving the mind.
"Meh sure" Naruto said as he walked over and
SLAP!
"Really?!" Ivy yelled annoyed that Naruto just spanked the frozen Harley
"Damn I kinda miss her attacking me for that" Naruto said as he frowned
"Simp" Komi said with a chuckle at the fact Naruto liked when Harley attacked him
"Shut up bitch" Naruto said simply not reacting to her words
"Ooh No response to physicality. That's a level 5 right there." Psycho said examining Harley while Shark escorted the estate agent out
"Tell Rhonda I said hi" Shark said to the estate agent as she was leaving
"She's Dead!" The estate agent Yelled as she left in a hurry
"Then tell her mother my condolences!" Shark said in response
"Psycho can you fix her?" Ivy asked worried about Harley
"Well I don't know… I don't think Someone Named just Psycho could" Psycho said with a haughty smirk
"Fine Dr Psycho, can you fix her?" Ivy asked with a sigh while referring to his title
"Can I fix her? Haha! Of course I can. It's a quick fix! I go in, I do my thing, I get out, Bada bing bada boom!" Psych yelled
"Hold on I'm not letting you go in alone" Naruto said with a glare at the psychic
"Yeah none of us are gonna let you fuck around in her mind like its a one night stand" Ivy said with a glare at Psycho
"Yeah if anyone's fucking around with her it'll be me!" Naruto said with a nod
"... fucking really?" Ivy asked deadpan
"Hey, would you prefer her back with Joker or with me?" Naruto asked the plant manipulator with a smirk
"... no comment" Ivy said deadpan
"Can you take us in there?" Clayface asked as him and Shark approached ready to help
"Ugh. Fine. Alright Everyone hold hands in a circle and clench your buttcheeks. I'll bring us in" Psycho said
"Hold it! Komi stay here and watch our bodies" Naruto said "anyone tries anything do feel free to boil their insides" Naruto told her
"Yes master" Komi said with a nod
"Alright Psycho let it rip!" Naruto ordered as he was holding Ivy's hand and Clayface's
As Ivy held Naruto's hand she looked at his hand 'huh his hand feels gentle. Surprising.' she thought to herself
(Harley's mind)
"So when do we get inside her mind?" Shark asked curiously
"We're in it" Psycho deadpanned as they all looked around And saw they were in a white hallway.
"Wow it's really…empty in here" Naruto said as he looked around
"And clean" Ivy said as there was no debris. Nothing colorful. Just a few pictures on a wall.
"That's cause this is her hall of memories!" Psycho said as if showing off.
"So each picture is a memory?" Naruto asked as he looked at a picture showing a kid Harley playing with dolls. And then watched as kid Harley used a knife to cut the head off the male doll cackling maniacally
"Still want to get in her pants?" Psycho asked Naruto as he shuddered at this
"She's an adult and I've been with…. Crazier…." Naruto said shuddering briefly
"…you're kidding right?" Clayface asked with a worried tone
"... no" Naruto said as he walked to the next picture having Harley giving a graduation speech.
"I'm so honored to be named valedictorian and I just want to thank absolutely no one! Fuck the principal! Fuck the students! Fuck ths shop teacher that stares at my ass every morning! Yeah I noticed! Have a great fucking summer!" The Harley memory yelled throwing her cap in the air
"…..I think I'm in love" Naruto said before he fell over laughing madly kicking his feet in the air
"ah good times" a female said as they turned to see Harley next to them in the memory hall
"Harley? But if we're inside harley then how are you i-" Shark was asking before he was cut off
"Don't look into it too much" Harley said waving her hand dismissively before grabbing Ivy
"Ok while I Go Fix Harley everyone follows hooker rules." Psycho warned
"No kissing on the mouth?" Ivy asked curiously
"How do you know that?" Naruto asked curiously as he was back on his feet
"Movies" Ivy said simply
"My bad stripper rules. Look but do not touch anything!" Psycho warned as he walked off
"What strippers does he know? They sound so not fun" Naruto scoffed
"... so do you follow that no kissing rule?" Clayface asked Naruto
"Bah some of my clients enjoy a little tonsil hockey. Blackfire's mom is one who absolutely loves me to do that before I ram her in the as- " Naruto smirked before he was cut off
"Ok let's go over here" Harley said dragging Ivy a bit away
"... go on" Shark said to Naruto wanting to hear more of his story
"Save it. I think something's really fucked up about me" Harley said
"What was your first clue?" Naruto rolled his eyes
"Hey! I don't need to hear that from the manwhore of the group!" Harley yelled enraged at the dig from her subordinate
"Bitch I know who I am at least. Can you say the same?" Naruto smirked at her
"Screw you, you Arrogant dick!" Harley yelled getting in Naruto's face
"Suck it you Spoiled bitch!" Naruto yelled back not backing down
"Fuck You!" Harley yelled back
"Fuck you!" Naruto yelled back
"Fuck you!" Harley yelled back
"FUCK YOU!" Naruto and Harley Yelled making the room shake
Both Naruto and Harley glared at each other enraged with Shark holding Naruto back and Clayface holding Harley back
"Guys I think she was talking about that" Ivy deadpanned as a memory played of Harley being dumped in acid but skipped over the part where Joker pushes her into the acid.
"Oh jeez I can see where this is going. I have seen enough bad fiction to see what this is" Naruto said as he rolled his eyes
"What?" Harley asked curiously
"It's a repressed memory of sorts. You're skipping over part of it cause it's repressed. And since this is listed as your origin story you think because it's screwed up then you think that's the reason you can't make a decision. Am I in the ballpark?" Naruto deadpanned
"Ok what the hell? What even Are you? You act like a fool and lunatic but have these crazy smart moments" Ivy said as she and the others looked at Naruto with surprised looks at his show of intelligence
"Mom didn't raise no fool. If I was gonna be a Villain I was at least gonna be smart as well as crazy." Naruto smirked
"... anyways I'm gonna fix my memory" Harley said as she climbed over the rope to touch her memory
"Wait, don't!" Psycho yelled but it was too late. Harley touched her memory and suddenly the mind went into lockdown
"Well we're boned" Naruto sad as the alarms went off
"Why would you touch something! I said stripper rules!" Psycho yelled running over to them
"Hey I was trying to touch myself! That is a stripper rule!" Harley yelled
"You idiot! You triggered a lockdown! The Brain thinks its being invaded now. And yes if you die in here you die for real!" Psycho yelled
"So basic isekai rules got it" Naruto and Harley said with a nod before Harley and Naruto looked at each other in surprise
"You are so much hotter now" Naruto said with a smirk at Harley
"Which is your favorite?" Harley asked curiously
"We both say it together" Naruto said with a grin
"1 2 3 overlord!" both Harley and Naruto yelled together before they high fived smiling
"Fantastic I'm gonna die in a clown bitch's mind while she has a nerdgasm with the guy banging my ex wife" Psycho groaned
Suddenly the Group heard the Sound of crying and Shark looked to see a kid harley in a red dress
Shark was walking over to the child before Naruto smacked him in the back of the head
"What are you thinking? Haven't you seen a horror film in your life? You touch her and she will attack and puke ectoplasm vomit!" Naruto yelled
"well the only horror film I watched was a film involving humans hunting some sharks narrated by Morgan Freeman" King Shark said as he shuddered
"That's a nature biography!" Naruto yelled at him before the little Harley grinned ferally
"Raaagh!" The little Harley yelled before Naruto grabbed her with his ungloved hand
"Die!" Naruto yelled as he splattered her in an explosion of gore "to the elevator!" Naruto yelled as he gestured for them to run to a nearby elevator as more little Harleys appeared
"I don't want to die via nightmare on elm street rules!" Clayface yelled as he ran with them
As everyone got into the elevator Naruto made spikes under the approaching hoard of Harleys and impaled them all
"Not the kind of impalement I was hoping for involving Harley" Naruto chuckled as he got into the elevator before it closed
"Jesus christ dude!" Ivy yelled disturbed at the fact Naruto killed all those Harleys with no hesitation and then joked about it
"Oh bitch please. I kill people alot. Besides they aren't real." Naruto scoffed
"So where are we heading?" Clayface asked curiously
"We are going deeper into the subconscious looking for a backdoor" Psycho said as they all stepped off the elevator. And saw the mind filled with Jokers in a carnival setting
"... so guess you're not totally over your ex huh" Ivy asked flatly
"I am so! I don't need that baby dicked fuckwad!" Harley bellowed as they all got out of the elevator
"ha I knew it!" Naruto said with a laugh at this
"Oh shut up. She doesn't want you either" Ivy said as she rolled her eyes
"Step Right up To The Overhauled sex show!" One of the Jokers yelled with a megaphone gesturing to a black circus tent with a giant beak like Overhaul's mask at the very top
"... oh? No interest in me huh?" Naruto asked with a smirk
"Ok let's get moving!" Harley yelled as she pushed Naruto away from the tent a hot blush on her face
"Ah! Ride my fat ass daddy! Make me your bitch!" Harley's voice yelled from inside the tent making Harley push him faster
"Oh is that how you want it?" Naruto grinned at her
Before anyone could comment more little Harley's stated to chase after them scaring all the jokers off and the people in the sex tent.
"Are those nipple rings and my name tattooed above your ass?" Naruto asked smirking seeing one of the nude Harley's from the sex tent running
"Less perving! More running!" Psycho yelled. Too focused on not dying to care
"Was that me?" Ivy asked seeing a version of her running from the sex tent as well. Or at least she swore it was her.
"Run!" Harley yelled, ignoring her best friend's question as the group continued to run the hell away from the terrifying little Harleys.
The group ran through the carnival before reaching a dead end. Still being chased by the little gremlin Harleys.
"Oh god fucking dammit!" Psycho yelled in fury thinking they were about to die
"This way!" A voice yelled to the crew.
"Oh good now we're trusting voices in your head. When did my life become so shit?" Psycho groaned
"When you fell out of your mom's clown hole now move midget!" Naruto yelled before grabbing Psycho and running. Holding him like a football towards the voice.
"Who are we even following?" Shark yelled in a panic as they all ran seeing a diminutive cloaked figure
"Hey Psycho, is this a member of your lollipop guild?" Naruto asked still carrying him like a football
Harley, Shark, and Clayface stifled their laughter at this even Ivy was trying not to laugh
"Fuck all of you" Psycho said angrily before the cloaked figure pulled open a piece of wood from a carnival ride.
"In here" they said gesturing to the hole they made
The crew, having no other choice, followed into the hole to escape the tiny gremlin Harleys.
"Ok where are we now?" Naruto asked as he threw Psycho down….on his head "and touchdown!" he yelled as he did a dance in celebration
"Fuck you!" Psycho groaned in pain
"This is the emergency exit" the cloaked figure said revealing an emergency exit before taking off their cloak
And revealing it was an 11 year old Frankie Muniz
"... I need some context here. Who is this?" Shark asked
"He was a star on a terrible tv show and some shit movies as a kid" Naruto said as he rolled his eyes
"Hey! He was also my first crush" Harley said "as a kid I was planning to kidnap him, then marry him, then when I hit puberty I was gonna tell him I was on Birth control but then like not take it and then get pregnant with his kid" Harley said excitedly
"Oh I get it. He was Harley's truest love, so some small, sane part of her brain sent her a vision of him to help us" Psycho explained
Naruto's eyebrow twitched rapidly at this as the rest started to head to the emergency exit. Frankie muniz nodded "good luck Harley. Btw all those times you stared at my poster in your bedroom. I was staring back" he said with a smile before Naruto grabbed him by his face
"Die for your sins!" He yelled before splattering him in a show of gore
"Naruto what the hell?!" Harley roared as she wiped off the blood of imaginary Frankie Muniz.
"I hated Malcolm in the Middle" Naruto said nonchalantly "lets just fucking go" he ordered as they all were about to leave down the emergency exit. Until Harley saw a light shining from an island away.
"Wait what's that?" She asked Dr. Psycho
"Repressed memory Island" He said "it's where you keep all your screwed up memories. Trust me you do not want to go Anywhere near it." Psycho explained
"She's already gone" Ivy said with a flat tone of voice
"Oh god fucking dammit! Can any stupid cunt ever listen?!" Psycho yelled before Naruto cracked his hand in a threatening manner at him "fine! Whatever!" Psycho groaned as they followed Harley.
(with Harley)
Harley was trying to figure out a way to cross the ocean since her crew seemed like it would be escaping without her.
"Yo! You couldn't wait 5 seconds sexy?" Naruto asked as he escorted the others over
"Why didn't you guys just leave" Harley asked curiously
"Well I wanted to but the man whore-" Psycho was saying before Naruto grabbed him
"Why you little!" Naruto yelled as he proceeded to strangle him
"You choke like Clay Aiken!" Psycho yelled at Naruto through his choking
"Well we are your crew Harley" Ivy said while Naruto choked Psycho
"She's your only friend… gak!" Psycho choked out while Still Being strangled
"... don't we need him to leave?" Harley asked
"You want to tell him to stop?" Clayface asked as he definitely wasn't gonna get between Naruto and Psycho
"... maybe in 5 minutes" Harley said amused before more little Harleys came up from under the dock.
"Shark get in the fucking water!" Naruto ordered as he threw Psycho down to fight them off
"I'm on it!" Shark yelled as he jumped into the water
"No Overhaul go with them. I shall Deal with these terrifying tots!" Clayface said as he stepped forward before turning into Frankie Muniz "tis I Frankie Muniz!" He said before dashing away and making the little Harley's follow him
"... what the crap just happened?" Psycho asked as he regained his breath from being choked
"Clayface moved up a rank in the hierarchy of this group. You're now in last" Naruto said with a grin as the rest of them got on King Shark's back to swim to the Island. While Naruto grabbed a wooden board and some rope to surf behind them as Shark pulled
"Wish we had some crazier waves so I could really surf!" He cackled
"Do you ever take anything seriously?" Ivy asked as she rolled her eyes
"blunts, booze, drugs, rock and roll, ramen, big boobed bitches, and big booty bitches!" He cackled as they made it to the island and entered the lighthouse
"Ok this is where your brain tries to lock up your most vile and horrific memories so whatever you do don't look at any of the- oh come on!" Psycho was saying before he saw the others looking into a window of kid Harley seeing her father getting beaten and mugged by his 'business associates'
They then looked into another one of Harley as a kid getting a restraining order from Frankie Muniz
"Saw that coming" Naruto said with a snicker
"So that's why I went to juvie!" Harley chuckled
Suddenly all of them heard the insane laughter of the Joker behind a door covered with caution tape.
Harley immediately went over and tore the caution tape off before opening the door.
"My money is on Joker didn't do shit" Naruto grumbled under his breath. Only Ivy heard him as she looked at him for a moment before looking at Harley
"oh crap" she said in realization
"Dive in as Harleen Quinzel and rise as Harley Quinn! My beautiful creation!" The memory Joker yelled with a grin
"Here it comes. That asshole is gonna push me" Harley said as she watched the memory play
"If you love me then jump! And you'll be mine forever!" Memory Joker said to memory Harleen
"A dream come true puddin" Harleen said before she jumped of her own free will into the acid below
"W-what?!" Harley yelled in shock
"Hope someone picks up the phone" Naruto said with a grin
"What?" Shark asked confused
"Cause I fucking called it!" Naruto chuckled
"Th-this whole fucking time it was my choice?!" Harley told herself
"You repressed it claiming it was Joker. You blamed someone else to make it easier for yourself. It was easier to say it was someone else who pushed you rather than your own choice" Naruto said simply
"Typical. Woman blames everyone else for their stupid choices" Psycho said as he scoffed before Naruto and Ivy hit him in the head
"It was always my choice. And it still is" Harley said before she walked into the memory and took over her memory self
"If you love me then Jump! And you'll be mine forever!" Joker said
"Hard pass!" Harley said boredly as she took over the memories body
"What?" Joker asked confused
"I said no, idiot." Harley responded
"But you have to jump, you can't change this. I mean this already happened. It's your origin story" Joker said
"That may be true but I'm not letting this crap control what I do now! I'm done with you and your baby dick bullshit!" Harley yelled as the scenery changed to Joker's lair
"This is my real origin story! And I wasn't wearing this crap!" Harley yelled as she tore off her memories body to reveal her current self "And believe me I wasn't saying you were a dream come true. I was telling you to go fuck yourself!" Harley yelled as she materialized a bat to her hands.
"Harley stop this nonsense I-" Joker was saying before Harley interrupted him pointing her bat at him
"I know you think you created me, but no one did! My fucked up parents didn't make me the way I am! Neither did Jessica Sarner when she fucking lied to the whole camp and said i lost my virginity to a horse! A horse!" She yelled as she bashed her bat into Joker's crotch making him grunt in pain. "Or those cops who questioned me for hours about what happened to Jessica Sarner. And you sure as hell didn't fucking create me!" Harley yelled at Joker
"Yeah? well, I named you" Joker said not having any other response
"You got Harley Quinn out of Harlen Quinzel? Congratulations You're an 8th grade graduate!" Harley yelled at him before slamming her bat into his face "you didn't make me Joker. I made myself!" She said before she smacked him in the gut with the butt of her bat
"You can't just change your memories! This isn't Eternal Sunshine Rules!" He grunted out Before A pool table fell from the sky and crushed him, destroying the lair.
"My mind, my rules" Harley said as she walked out of the memory as they all appeared back in the hall of memories with Harley having her new origin story in place
"sanity restored. Kinda. Thanks gang. I owe you everything" Harley said with a smile at her team
"No problem Harley" Shark said with a smile whole Ivy nodded
"I need fucking booze after this crap" Psycho groaned
"Quiet you. Anyone seen Clayface?" Naruto asked as they walked the hall of memories before seeing another little Harley snarling angrily
"Oh great those little Psycho shits killed him!" Psycho yelled in a panic
"Did not!" The little Harley yelled before it morphed into Clayface "apologies. I had to go native to thwart Harley's Younger Demons" Clayface explained before they all exited Harley's mind.
To find themselves in some shitty abandoned mall.
"What the shit?" Naruto asked confused on where they are
"Welcome back Master!" Komi explained while holding Sy Borgman in a choke hold
"... I'm gonna need some context here. And also pants" Naruto said as he looked down to see his pants and underwear were gone
"I was in the bathroom for a brief period of time and Borgman here believed you all had committed suicide. He planned to cremate your bodies in the mall furnace here but luckily I was able to stop him before he could throw any of you in." Komi explained
"... and my pants?" Naruto asked
"They were destroyed when he moved you" Komi explained
"Did not! You tried to get off with him to try and wake him up!" Sy yelled before Komi tightened her grip in his throat
"No one asked you!" Komi glared at him
"Let him go Blackfire" Harley ordered
"He threw all of you out! Why can't we just murder him?" Komi asked
"... I'm with her let's gut him" Naruto said as she stood up
"He's a tech expert and we could use him so stand down" Harley said as she knew about the old man's mechanical arm so he may be useful
"Bullcrap he is. He can't even work a coffee maker! Besides, we have a tech expert!" Naruto said pointing to King Shark
"What if I give you guys this mall?" Sy asked not wanting to die
"hmmmm Ok deal Komi drop him" Naruto said as he nodded at Komi who scoffed and dropped the old man
"... why do we want a shitty mall?" Psycho asked
"Cause she'll never find me here" Naruto muttered
"Huh?" Harley Asked
"I mean this place is a blank slate! And roomy!" Naruto said quickly
"And decrepit like the old man" Psycho snarked
"Oi I was still able to move all of you across the city at my age you little troll!" Sy yelled at Psycho
"Good point now where is Frank?" Ivy asked hoping her plant friend was Ok
"Who?" Sy asked confused
"She Means this one" a female voice called out from across the mall
Naruto froze at this as his hair stood on end before he turned around seeing a red haired woman with a long red dress with a slit in the side and red high heels with F cup breasts, a model curvy body, and a heart shaped, plump ass holding Frank
"Um, who's the bombshell?" Harley asked confused not knowing this woman
"The reason I'm out of here!" Naruto bellowed before he took off towards the back door before suddenly finding himself next to the woman in a puff of smoke
"Did you forget my powers darling?" The woman asked amused as she pulled his face into her breasts
"I try to forget" Naruto said as his voice was muffled by her large breasts
"How do you know my best minion?" Harley asked confused at this woman
"Oh it's a long story. Tell me have you ever heard of Mister Mxyzptlk?" The woman asked with a smirk
Psycho paled at this before he looked at Naruto "you absolute fucking moron!" he yelled
"Hello? Little lost here" Ivy said as Frank approached her
"She's from the same dimension as Mister Mxyzptlk. The 5th dimension. And he's been a thorn in Superman's side for years." Psycho explained
"Oh yea the leprechaun guy!" Harley said with a smile as she recalled seeing him once
"Ha! I like this one! Is she a concubine of yours darling?" The woman asked as she looked at Harley
"No, not for lack of trying though" Naruto said as he got loose slightly from her breasts. Enough to look upwards and speak without being muffled
"So what are you exactly miss?" Shark asked
"Well aren't you a polite Shark. You may call me Gsptlsnz" she introduced as she smiled at Shark
"... Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me!" Psycho yelled in fear recognizing her name
"Yeah if you thought me sticking it to your ex was bad" Naruto said with a laugh
"You banged Mister Mxyzptlk's wife?!" Psycho yelled terrified
"Wait, I'm confused, why are you not scared of her now?" Clayface asked curiously
"Oh that was just a little game me and Naruto play when I visit. We call it the fox hunt" Gsptlsnz said with a grin at Naruto who grinned back
"So you're not Actually afraid of her?" Komi asked
"Are you kidding? Look at her!" Naruto cackled
"And I have even better news foxy, the divorce is final" Gsptlsnz said with a teasing grin as she pulled Naruto away from her breasts and trailed a finger under his chin
"Oh fuck yes! That means you can stay here right?" Naruto asked excitedly
"As long as I don't do anything too crazy with my powers I'm here to stay sweetie" Gsptlsnz said
"Woah how strong we talking?" Ivy asked curiously
"She could one shot Darkseid and supes together with a snap of her finger" Naruto said
"Welcome to the team!" Harley yelled with a smile as she used a party popper
"Team? What kind of team?" Gsptlsnz asked
"Oh I teamed up with her Villain crew" Naruto said simply
"Ahhh you want her and the green one as a concubine don't you?" Gsptlsnz asked
"Well if they want to" Naruto chuckled as he winked at Harley and Ivy who rolled there eyes
"And the orange one glaring at me?" Gsptlsnz asked simply
"The name is Komi you Jessica rabbit wannabe!" Komi yelled
"Ah yes I did let them use my likeness in that film before I turned the film crew into coconuts" she giggled
"Wait they based Jessica rabbit off you?" Harley asked curiously as she checked her out
"Why do you think there was never a sequel? They didn't pay for my likeness well enough" Gsptlsnz said
"That and cause the voice actress became a butter face?" Psycho asked with a snicker
Gsptlsnz snapped her finger and suddenly Psycho was turned into a cactus "that one offends my eyes." Gsptlsnz said as she glared at the cactus
"Yeah but he's useful sweetie so turn him back in a hour or so" Naruto said as he chuckled
"Anyways I will not be joining your team. However my darling, foxy, may ask me for favors on occasion so I hope we can get along well. Especially since I will be overseeing his side business scheduling" Gsptlsnz said as she smiled at Naruto
"Wait what?" Komi asked with a glare
"A sexy stacked manager? Score!" Naruto yelled excitedly
"More like pimp" Frank said with a snicker before Gsptlsnz snapped her fingers and made him into a sunflower
"Hey! He's my getting high buddy! Turn him back!" Naruto yelled in a panic
"I'll turn him back if you convince the clown woman for a go" Gsptlsnz said
"I'm working on it woman! I'm making some progress!" Naruto yelled
"Yeah he actually seems to care about her" Clayface said with a grin
"Watch your whore mouth!" Naruto yelled at the sludge Villain
"Oh you care nowadays? How adorable! Feels like I took your virginity just yesterday" Gsptlsnz grinned
"You took his virginity? Did you also teach him all this man whore bullshit of his?" Ivy asked
"Are you implying something about me?" Gsptlsnz glared at Ivy as she raised her hand ready to snap her fingers
"Babe no hurting Harley, Ivy, or Komi" Naruto said firmly as he glared
"Oh ho so you really do care about those three? Fine. I shall let this slight slide" Gsptlsnz said lowering her hand
"Good now can you help us turn this place into something livable?" Naruto asked curiously
"And maybe Give Naruto some pants?" Shark asked since he was still nude from the waist down
"Livable, yes. Pants….. no" Gsptlsnz said as she snapped her fingers and in a flash of light the mall changed into a pristine mall. Clean fountains, a garden, electricity, lights, the works.
"Wow!" Harley yelled excitedly seeing this
"Why do I have less clothes?" Naruto asked as he was now fully nude
"Cause I want to play with you. I missed you so much foxy." Gsptlsnz said as she licked her lips
"Heh course you did. Komi you down to throw a party?" Naruto asked
"Can't my mother is arriving in Vegas. I need to bring her to Gotham for her appointment with you tomorrow" Komi said
"Fuck" Naruto groaned
"Don't worry Master I'll be bringing her and my sister to you and we can play then" komi said with a smirk before she kissed Naruto and flew off
"Fuck I love that woman" Naruto growled as he watched Komi leave
"Everyone pick a store for your room!" Harley yelled to her crew. "No sex till you have a store to fuck in" she said looking at the nude Naruto
"I have a private room prepared for my darling so- eeeee!" Gsptlsnz was saying before she squealed as Naruto grabbed her and put her on his shoulder and carried her off
"... I'll check on him later" Harley shrugged before cartwheeling around the mall to find her own place to stay
(Naruto's store)
Naruto carried Gsptlsnz to the store she set up. A massage parlor with a sauna. Naruto stepped inside still carrying Gsptlsnz before placing her back first on a massage table.
"What do you plan to do to me foxy?" She purred out before finding Naruto's hands on her dress and
RIIIIIPPPP!
It being torn from her body to shreds. Revealing her lack of bra and panties to him.
"Mmmm. I love your wild side" Gsptlsnz purred out before Naruto grabbed her breasts and started to suck on them. Like a newborn trying to suckle milk from its mother. Gsptlsnz moaned at this as she pushed his head deeper into her breasts. Wanting him to suck harder on her tits.
"God I missed your sinful body" naruto growled as he let go of her nipple
"Well What Sort of Wife would I be for a devil if I didn't have a sinful body?" Gsptlsnz smirked
Naruto chuckled at this as he got on top of her. Straddling her as he placed his cock in between her breasts. "You really do love my breasts huh?" Gsptlsnz asked with a smirk
"Don't complain your rack was built for this" Naruto told her with a grin before he started to thrust between her tits.
"Mmmm I missed this" Gsptlsnz moaned out feeling the heat of his cock between her sensitive breasts.
"I know you did" Naruto grunted as he gripped her breasts and started to jackhammer away at them.
"Mmm are you getting close? Do you want to paint this naughty wife white with your thick seed?" Gsptlsnz purred as she licked at the head of his cock hoping to push him over the edge
"Open your mouth for my offering," Naruto ordered. Gsptlsnz did just that as he unloaded. His cum firing into her mouth in its entirety before she audibly gulped it down. Not a single drop spilled.
"Would you like to sample the rest of my body now darling?" Gsptlsnz asked with a grin before finding herself rolled onto her hands and knees on the massage bed. Naruto gripped and pulled her hair back as he slammed his cock inside her twat doggy style with one hard thrust.
Gsptlsnz cried out with a grin as she looked over her shoulder at her very eager lover. "I was expecting more foreplay darling" she said with a teasing grin
"We have plenty of time for that. We'll do that later. For now though, take it!" Naruto growled as he thrusted hard and smacked her on the ass cheek
"Mmm harder darling. Make it really jiggle for your enjoyment" Gsptlsnz purred out lustfully.
Naruto smirked before slapping her ass cheek yet again. Twice as hard as last time leaving a red handprint before he smacked her other cheek. Watching her reddened cheeks wobble and jiggle.
"You call that hot?! A real woman shakes her ass for her man!" A familiar female voice yelled
This caused Naruto to stop his thrusts as he craned his head to see Harley peeking from behind the doorway
"... oopsie" She said sheepishly since she just literally announced her presence.
Gsptlsnz smirked at this before she snapped her fingers
This caused Harley to be pulled into the room before the door slammed shut and locked
"You were spying on us?" Naruto questioned as he was still thrusting into Gsptlsnz pussy despite speaking to Harley
"Um yes?" Harley asked as she tried not to let watching this get to her
"... ok have a seat and watch" Naruto said gesturing to a chair nearby
"h-here -ah!" Gsptlsnz yelled as she snapped fingers and made a couch for Harley to sit in
"... you're not gonna flip out that I spied on you?" Harkey asked confused
"My darling likes you so you can watch and can go next if you desire- ah you are so deep darling!" Gsptlsnz moaned out from a hard thrust by Naruto
"I enjoy having audiences of women watching me plow bitches. So this is just another tuesday to me" Naruto smirked as he responded to Harley's query before tugging on Gsptlsnz hair "ain't that right bitch?" Naruto asked
"Only to your women darling" she moaned out
"Fair enough now shake that ass like Harley said" Naruto growled as he smacked her ass again
"Mm yes darling. One fifth dimension twerking coming up" Gsptlsnz purred out before she started to rock her ass back and forth during his thrusts. Making her asscheeks audibly clap together with each movement for his enjoyment.
Naruto growled in approval as he thrusted harder and faster into his lover. Hiving her a rough pounding as each thrust made her bounce and twerk faster and faster. All while Harley looked on fighting the urge to stick a hand down her shorts.
'Fuck that's hot' Harley thought to herself as she bit her lip as she watched her strongest ally conquer the 5th dimensional being.
Gsptlsnz saw Harley's look of restraint through her blurring vision and smirked before snapping her fingers once again. As the sound of a snap resonated, Harley suddenly looked down to see her clothes completely gone from her body. Revealing her nude body to Naruto and Gsptlsnz
Naruto growled at this and thrusted even harder "damn it Gsptlsnz she was mine to declothe!" He roared as he went full speed and strength with his thrusts. Pulling Gsptlsnz hair back tightly as he really gave her a pounding.
"Ah! I'm sorry darling!" Gsptlsnz yelled out, drool leaking from her mouth
"Give her her clothes back or you don't get my seed!" Naruto growled out
Gsptlsnz went to snap her fingers before suddenly she screamed in pure pleasure. While she may not have gotten his seed yet, his last thrust hit against her most sensitive point. Making her immediately climax on his hard cock. It had been so long since she last fucked Naruto that she was slightly out of practice so to speak.
Naruto grunted as he pulled out of her. Due to this Gsptlsnz fell to the massage table face down ass up, a fucked stupid look on her face as she laid there.
Naruto turned to look at Harley who paused at seeing his hard throbbing cock
"We don't need to do anything" Naruto said simply
Harley looked at Naruto and his cock and soon she sighed "fuck it I need this but we're not a couple you hear?" she said as she laid down on the couch
"Like I care about having a relationship. I just want to wreck your holes" Naruto said simply as he approached her
"Then prove it big man. You better make me cum" Harley said with a smirk as Naruto got on the couch with her and got in top of her
"God I have wanted to fuck you so bad" Naruto growled before he grabbed her legs and spread them apart in a split "ever since I busted you and Ivy out I wanted to just conquer both of you. And now I get half that dream realized" Naruto grinned before immediately plunging his dick into her tight twat. Hilting fully inside with one motion.
"Oh fuck yes!" Harley screamed as she arched her back as Naruto started to ram into her like a wild beast. Making her sizable breasts bounce with each thrust as they nearly slapped Harley in the face from their movements.
Naruto's mouth watered at her bouncing tits before he reached forward and grabbed her breasts roughly and started to suck on them as he continued to thrust.
Harkey moaned at this as for all the times she had slept with Joker, he had never once done foreplay in any way shape or form.
"Fuck you are so tight! I guess Joker's tiny cock means you might as well be a virgin huh?" Naruto asked with a grin as he stopped sucking her tits to speak. When he didn't get a response however he bit on one of her nipples to get her attention again.
"AAAAAHHHHH!" Harley screamed, not used to having her nipples bit and sucked on.
"I asked you a question. I expect an answer" He told Harley
"You are the best fuck I have ever had!" She screamed out in lust
"Tell me something I don't know clown babe" He smirked before he picked Harley up from the couch slightly as he moved her legs onto his shoulders and lifted. Still thrusting into her as she arched her back but left her hands on the couch to support her in this new position.
"Fuck I'm cumming!" Harley screamed as she felt herself reaching the end of her rope
"Then go ahead and cum. I wanna see the look on your face Joker never once gave you." Naruto ordered as he looked over at the massage table briefly to see Gsptlsnz starting to move around again from her passing out earlier.
"Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh YAAAAHHHHTTTTZZZEEEE! Harley yelled as she came in a torrent on his cock. Her juices drenching his cock and the couch.
Naruto grunted at how tight her pussy became and fired his seed into Harley
Harley moaned as she felt his seed fill her as she panted for breath.
Naruto leaned forward and pulled Harley into a kiss
"I said no couple stuff" she said after the kiss
"Shut up and enjoy it bitch" Naruto told her
"….Ok" Harley moaned as Naruto put his tongue down her throat. Soon Naruto and her separated before Naruto turned to Gsptlsnz
"You failed earlier but if you wanna make yourself useful summon back Harley's clothes on the floor here" Naruto ordered the redhead
"You just like my booty shorts whiskers" Harley said with a smirk
"I mean duh but that's not why I want your clothes back"
"Hey make then crotchless so whiskers can enjoy my shorts while he wrecks my cunt Gipsy" Harley told her
"I love the sound of that but first summon her bra and panties" Naruto ordered Gsptlsnz
"Yes darling" She said obediently as a balack and red bra and a pair of red panties appeared on the ground
"Why do you want them?" Harley asked confused
"I like to keep trophies of the women I fuck. Gsptlsnz make a room for me to keep my trophies in" Naruto ordered
"At once Darling. And Here" Gsptlsnz said as she snapped her fingers putting Harley in her short shorts and leggings again
"Perfect. Be a dear and place her trophies with the others" Naruto told Gsptlsnz before turning to Harley. "as for you my sexy clown, how about you give me a lap dance?" Naruto asked as he sat on the couch and smirked as his cock throbbed
"Sure thing foxy" she said with a grin while Gsptlsnz placed his latest trophies in his new trophy room before returning to join in the lap dance and to spend the rest of the night banging.
(With Ivy)
Ivy walked over to Naruto's room to make a complaint about how loud he and his whore were being. Again.
When Ivy looked into the room she saw Naruto sitting on the couch as Harley bounced in his lap impaling his cock in her thanks to the hole in her shorts
"This is how you bounce your ass Gispy take notes ah!" Hayley moaned with a grin as Naruto gripped her ass cheeks posessively before motioning for Gsptlsnz to kneel and suck on his balls as Harley bounced on his cock.
Ivy pulled away from the door blushing before she walked away from the door and headed back to her room. Trying to figure out how to comprehend what she just saw.
Unknowing that both Gsptlsnz and Naruto saw her peeking during their session.
'Soon.' Naruto thought with a grin as he smacked Harley's ass making her squeal in approval as she continued to bounce on his cock.
Ivy would come later. For now he had two bombshells to bang for the rest of the day and night.
(The next day)
After the day long fuckathon between himself, Harley, and Gsptlsnz, Harley was fast asleep after all the crazed sex she had the dsy and night before.
Naruto meanwhile was still hard and going. Sitting on the couch as Gsptlsnz was on her knees sucking him off reverently. Eager to claim his seed since she had failed to do so yesterday and wanted to make up for it.
"Oh fuck yeah" Naruto groaned "there's nothing better than a hot bitch on her knees sucking me off" he smirked
Gsptlsnz however stopped her sucking and grinned "I can make this better darling" she told him
"...how?" Naruto asked intrigued before she snapped her fingers and a large red portal appeared in front of them. Showing a black void within.
"Hmmm other dimensions…interesting. Show me a good time then" Naruto said with a smirk at the possibilities.