Xanna was bored.
It had been several days already since Naruto had abducted Supergirl and that bit of amusement was starting to wear thin.
Superman had long since healed of course and the plan of using her as bait in order to lure 'Uzu' out into the open had failed, as he had simply not shown up. Predictably this had been driving Superman mad with worry and it had been somewhat funny to watch the man agonize over the imaginary torments that his cousin was going through. He had even gone so far as to scan the entirety of Gotham and Metropolis along with wide areas around them in an effort to find Kara. When that had failed he'd resorted to flying all over the place in his attempts to find her, fruitlessly of course.
The situation was clearly not having beneficial effects on his sanity.
It was less obvious with the others, but they too were getting antsy with worry over the teenaged superheroine. Batgirl had insisted quite vehemently that she be included in the search for her friend and had eventually gotten her way, though it was only serving to frustrate her.
At least the fight would take place tomorrow and she would get reunited with her husband, in more ways than one.
But that didn't fix her current boredom.
Having nothing better to do, she started peeking into the thoughts of the Justice League members. She left the martian alone, as his telepathic ability might allow him to actually detect her even if it wasn't good enough to detect her peeking into the others.
Usually she wouldn't do something like this, not because of any kind of ethics about violating the sanctity of people's thoughts, but simply because what went on in their heads wasn't interesting most of the time. Which proved to be true for most of the League as well.
Except for two of them.
Batman was quite the headcase actually. The trauma of seeing his parents murdered had apparently left some serious psychological scarring that gave him a deep aversion to guns and killing. His opinion on the criminals that Naruto had killed was actually 'good riddance', he just wasn't willing to kill them himself and wanted to bring Naruto in for doing the actual killing. He was the most ruthless of the League but paradoxically the one that was the least likely to consciously decide to kill someone.
Xanna believed that Naruto would have called him a 'fucking pussy that should man up and get over it already'. She was somewhat inclined to agree actually. Plenty of people who had seen their loved ones killed in front of them came out of it with less issues than he did. Naruto could hardly be called sane by anyone's definition, but he'd been messed up since day one. Bruce Wayne had eight years of a perfectly happy life and then decades more to recover, that was plenty of time to be capable of putting the trauma in the past.
Superman was another matter entirely. He was scared of his own power.
Growing up with people so much weaker than him had instilled in him the rather bizzare fear of accidentally harming people with his strength, along with the fear of being rejected if he used it too judiciously.
Not an unreasonable fear admittedly, considering the fact that she knew there were government agencies dedicated to finding ways of killing him if he should ever go out of control, but still rather disproportionate. Basically, he was trying to 'fit in' as best he could while also playing superhero, because he'd feel guilty not using his power if he could use it to help people. He just used his overly rigid moral code to present himself as the ultimate good guy because he didn't want people to be afraid that he was going to turn on them.
The little fracas with Darkseid that had caused him to attack the Earth some time ago had only made him even more rigid on his no killing rule. He wasn't necessarily consciously aware of all this, but that's what it all boiled down to from her point of view.
This whole situation with Naruto holding his cousin captive was causing him all sorts of inner moral conflict that a psychiatrist could probably write a book on.
Well, at least she had something to look forward to tomorrow, it promised to be explosive. That was exactly what she needed after this little stretch of boredom. She'd had longer ones in her life before, but not since marrying her rather amusing husband. She hadn't even been able to make Diana uncomfortable because of the somber atmosphere!
Kara's arms shook under the force that was put behind the sword strike that she had just blocked, only barely able to hold the parry.
"I've told you already, don't do that. If your opponent is stronger than you, then deflect instead of block." Her teacher scolded...again.
"What are the chances running into a swordsman stronger than me?" She grunted out sarcastically as she pushed his sword away with her own, irritated by how easily she was being pushed around.
"Clearly, they aren't zero." Her bastard sensei pointed out cheerfully and smashed his sword into hers with brutal force again.
She sort of managed to deflect it this time, but it still sent her stumbling off balance.
"How is...all this sparring supposed to make me better?" She demanded as she continued fending off his powerful blows. "You haven't taught me any new moves in two days!"
"I taught you how to properly hold a sword and some basics, everything else will come to you with experience. There is nothing I can teach you anymore that combat experience can't do better." Naruto explained and struck again.
Sick and tired of being constantly on the defensive, Kara struck back forcefully and without holding back, knowing that she couldn't truly injure him. Her attack was caught by his own blade easily and pushed back hard enough to break her balance again.
"A sword isn't an iron bar Kara, don't swing it like one, even if you are frustrated. It leaves you wide open for a counterattack." He lectured and punctuated it by performing said counterattack.
"Well it's a good thing that I'm invulnerable then." She said with a smirk and blocked it with her forearm, the blade unable to cut her skin.
"Oh really?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as he took a step back.
Before Kara could make a smartass remark the likes of which she'd taken to making lately, the Kusanagi lashed out and made a long but not very deep cut on her thigh.
Kara stumbled back with a cry at the unfamiliar sting of cut skin, though she was more surprised than in pain. She continued to look in slight shock at the sight of her own blood running down her leg. Somewhat numbly, she wondered why she hadn't lost an arm when she'd blocked it earlier.
"But how?"
"That invulnerability of yours isn't absolute and I'd advise against using it as a first line of defense. You never know when you'll come across something that can overpower it or get around it."
"Overpower it?" She asked curiously. "You think that can be done?"
"Of course it can." Naruto responded dryly. "It's not even true invulnerability if you ask me, because I'm pretty sure that you're just extremely damage resistant."
"Is that how you cut me?"
"No, I imbued the Kusanagi with chakra to give it more cutting power and extend its range. The blade never even touched you just now, otherwise you'd have lost a leg."
Kara swallowed a bit nervously at that and decided that maybe following his advice about not relying on her invulnerability too much would be wise. At least when dealing with things she'd never encountered before and didn't know the full capabilities of. She definitely didn't want to become an amputee.
"What does 'Kusanagi' mean anyway? Or is it just a name?" She asked curiously, having never really questioned it before.
"Kusanagi no Tsurugi means 'The Grass-Mowing Sword' if you want a literal translation." Naruto explained.
"Isn't that a bit of a strange name? It makes your sword sound like a lawnmower." She teased, instantly taking the opportunity.
Naruto only smirked at her attempt as he responded. "It doesn't mean that it's used to cut grass, it means that everything it touches is cut like grass, like that leg of yours."
She huffed at him and sheathed the sword he'd created for her to practice with. It was actually the third one, the previous two having been destroyed during their practice.
Her outfit had undergone a slight change, as she wasn't wearing the blue skirt anymore. Instead of that she'd asked if Naruto could make her a pair of shorts and he had done so.
Only...he'd made them black and skintight, making sure that they left virtually nothing to the imagination. She'd protested quite vehemently at first and refused to wear them, after which he'd asked her what kind she would like.
After going through a variety of them, she was forced to concede that it was indeed better if they were stretchy and skintight if she was going to be fighting in them and subjecting them to all sorts of abuse. She had put her foot down on the color though, demanding a set of red ones. Naruto had clearly been a bit confused by that and claimed that the black ones looked better on her, but he'd gone ahead and made them for her.
Kara didn't want to admit it, but she had mainly refused to wear the black ones because they just seemed skankier somehow. She hadn't thrown them away though, as the compliment had stuck in her head.
After that she'd eventually also asked for a matching top, which left her in her current outfit of skintight blue top with the typical red 'S' and red shorts.
Of course, Naruto wasn't content to leave it at that and instead made her a whole wardrobe of outfits in variations of black, red and gold just because he could. He'd also teased her for keeping all of them because she wanted to try them on later.
She'd also managed to form a tentative friendship with the three former villainesses, making sure to never give them any crap about their pasts. She had big hopes that all three of them would turn away from a life of crime and needlessly antagonizing them would only serve to make that less likely.
All in all it had been a fun few days for all of them and she sometimes found it hard to think of the horned man as a ruthless killer with how he acted. She could have done without the rampant sex that she just knew was going on every night though. She got the distinct feeling that Naruto was at this point regularly sleeping with all three of the women that were on this vacation with them. They weren't exactly hiding it.
"Come sit with me, there's something I'd like to try." His voice broke her out of her thoughts and she turned her head to see him sitting crosslegged on the grass.
Curiously, she sat down next to him, wondering what he was up to now.
"What are you doing over there? I asked you to sit with me." He asked, quirking an amused eyebrow at her.
"But I'm right next to you." She protested.
"Yes, but I asked you to sit with me, not next to me." He countered, grinning at her as he patted his legs in a clear indication that he wanted her to sit in his lap.
"I'm not sitting in your lap you pervert!"
"Aw come on Kara, don't be like that. This has nothing to do with me being a pervert." He assured seriously and beckoned her over again.
She still looked terribly suspicious, but went and sat down in his lap anyway, wiggling around a bit to make herself comfortable and then she suddenly froze.
"Naruto...why are you poking me?"
"Because you wiggled. Even if I didn't ask you to do this because I'm a pervert doesn't mean I can avoid getting a boner if a hot girl wiggles her ass in my lap." He pointed out in deadpan.
"You better have a good reason for asking me to do this." She said threateningly with her cheeks burning.
"I do, now lean back against me and try to relax."
Despite her embarrassment, Kara did as he asked and leaned against his chest. After about a minute of deep breathing, she managed to forget her awkwardness at the situation and relaxed, curious about what he was up to.
Naruto was in the meanwhile trying something out. He wanted to give Kara a sword that would be truly hers, but it couldn't be a chakra blade like the Kusanagi. He needed an alternative, so he was feeling out her body and spirit to see if something like that could even be done, a sword that would be like an extension of her. After a while, he thought that he had what he needed and touched the bright spark of her spirit with his own.
Kara wasn't quite sure what Naruto was doing, but she knew that he was doing something. Still, she trusted him by now and didn't feel threatened when he took her hands in his own and brought them up to the level of her chest, clearly about to do something. That something hit her with the suddenness of a lightning bolt.
For a short while, she felt as if she could truly understand the horned man in whose lap she was sitting. For just a little while she knew him in a way that she hadn't thought it was possible to know anyone. She knew the infinite depth of his devotion for his wife and knew that there was nothing that he wouldn't do for her. For those few moments, she knew him in ways she hadn't thought it was possible to know anyone.
And then it was suddenly over, leaving her reeling from the loss and gulping down air.
"Sorry about that, I didn't think you'd have such a strong reaction to it." She heard Naruto murmuring in her ear.
"What….what was that?" She asked with breathless wonder.
"A failed experiment of an overly optimistic man." Naruto answered, serving only to confuse Kara further.
"But it was amazing, I….I understood you." She said back, failing to put the experience into words, unable to believe how something so wonderful could be a failed experiment. Being able to understand a person on such a deep level was something that many spent their entire lives trying to achieve.
"Yes, between two people who are on good terms with each other, it is amazing. But trying something like this between groups of strangers disaster waiting to happen." Naruto explained and then continued before she could answer. "But that's not why I did this."
"Huh?" Kara articulated, frowning in confusion.
Her confusion was answered when an object was placed into her hands and she looked at it to find a sheathed sword of similar design to Naruto's except shorter. It had a red and black hilt with a brass colored guard.
"I bound this blade to your spirit and it will obey only you."
Kara barely heard him as she stared at the sword, transfixed. The same feeling of presence that she had felt from Naruto's Kusanagi emanated from this one and yet it was different. Naruto's sword felt as if it was only tolerating her handling of it but this one felt like a friend, a trusted companion that she could always rely on.
"When I first came into possession of the Kusanagi I used it like a piece of sharp metal, swinging it around without finesse and no regard for its beauty. It took me years and a lot of experience, but I eventually learned to treat it the way it deserves to be treated and the blade accepted me as its master in turn. I learned a lot about myself that way and I hope that it'll be the same for you."
"It's beautiful." She said softly, still admiring it and the connection she could feel with it.
"I'm glad you like it, I had to give my student a proper gift at the end of her apprenticeship after all. Even if it was a very short apprenticeship. That sword has some secrets of its own, but I'll let you discover those yourself."
"You mean you're not going to teach me anymore?" She asked, feeling more disappointed than she had expected to, considering that she'd only known him for a few days.
"I'm having my rematch with the Justice League tomorrow, so this little kidnapping will be over then. You'll be free to go back to your cousin and tell him what a great time you had with me." Naruto pointed out, rather amused the situation.
"Well yeah, but….." She responded half-heartedly. She didn't really think that Clark would be open to the idea of her spending more time with Naruto after everything was out in the open, but that just didn't sit right with her.
"Xanna and I won't be leaving right away you know, just because your uptight cousin won't like it doesn't mean that you can't come see me anymore. You could even invite me over for dinner!" Naruto said spontaneously, having the sudden mental image of an extremely awkward family dinner with the elderly Kent couple and their adopted super powered children. That was a recipe for hilarity right there. He could already imagine Superman glaring petulantly the entire time and getting scolded by his mother for being rude.
"I'm not sure if that would be a good idea….." Kara said slowly, the very same mental image going through her head, but with the addition of Naruto constantly speaking in double entendres that sounded polite on the surface but would no doubt serve to rile up her cousin something fierce.
"Aw come on sweetie, don't tell me that you don't think that would be funny. It would and you know it." Naruto teased.
"Yeah sure, for you." Kara muttered. "And don't call me sweetie."
"I can't help it sweetie, having your tight little ass on my lap this long is giving me urges." The horny blond rumbled into her ear lewdly.
Kara shot out of his lap violently, having actually completely forgotten about the compromising position after their communion of spirit and being gifted with the sword. "You pervert!"
Naruto just laughed at her red face, even when she threw a rock at his head with enough force to kill a normal human ten times over.
"I think I'm going to go find out if Pammy, Peaches and Kitten are up for a foursome." Naruto revealed conversationally, as if it was no big deal.
"I didn't want to know that!" Kara yelled at him, the shade of red on her face deepening. One thing she could never get used to was his complete lack of shame and it got to her every time. Naturally, this meant that Naruto made sure to use it to embarrass her all the time.
"Feel free to watch if you're curious, you cute little pervert." The taller blond continued as if she hadn't spoken.
"I am not a pervert!"
"You're a teenager sweetie, of course you're a pervert." Naruto countered with a cheeky grin. He knew that it wasn't necessarily true, but it sure did serve to rile her up.
Four females were sitting on a couch and watching a strange TV that appeared to be made of some sort of crystal. At the moment it was only showing Naruto doing some minor geographical alteration to an empty piece of land.
"I wonder how this works?" Priscilla said mostly to herself as she stared at the bizzare TV like thing.
"Who cares as long as we get to see the action." Harley shot back, staring at the screen with thinly veiled excitement. "It's probably some weird chakra mojo anyway."
"I'm not too comfortable about seeing my cousin and his friends getting screwed with like this." Kara grumbled, being the only one with conflicting feelings on this match. On one hand, she did want to see the fight, but on the other, it was still kind of mean what Naruto and Xanna were doing to the Justice League.
"Are you sure you're not just frustrated about being left out of the fun last night?" Pamela asked with a smirk.
Kara shot a dirty look at the plant manipulating woman. "I don't really consider your orgies with Naruto 'fun'."
"You should." The other three women chorused with authority.
"I hadn't pegged any of you as being lesbian or bisexual." The argoan teenager muttered, deflating at their combined response.
"We're not, but if if it's just one of us, he knocks us out in less than an hour." Pamela answered.
"It didn't seem fair." Priscilla continued. Naruto had been able to rather easily take care of her vulnerability to Ivy's poisons. She didn't even bother being surprised that he could do that as if it was nothing.
"That, and we wanted to see if we could knock him out for a change." Harley added her own two cents.
Kara groaned at their response, having not really wanted an answer to her statement. "The horny bastard has turned all of you into perverts."
The other three women shrugged uncaringly. If perverts always had this much fun, then their only regret was that it hadn't happened sooner.
"So did you tire him out?" Kara asked curiously, hoping that she wasn't going to regret her curiousity.
"Hell no." They chorused again.
"Maybe we could have if you'd bothered to join in Supergirl." Pamela said archly, deliberately insinuating that the superheroine had done something wrong by not joining their orgy.
Kara shot the redhead another dirty look, getting the distinct feeling that her superhero name was being used to point out that she had superior natural stamina rather than anything else.
"Did you use your X-ray vision to peek on us?" Harley asked mischievously, cutting off whatever retort the teenaged girl was about to make.
"What?! NO!" Kara shrieked back, shocked that her fellow blonde would even ask such a thing.
"That sounded a little desperate." Priscilla commented conversationally.
"I didn't peek on you." Kara denied desperately.
"You really do sound pretty desperate." Pamela added in the same conversational tone.
"An answer that forceful is usually a lie made by people who aren't prepared for that kind of question." Harley finished, her degree in psychiatry serving her well in the pursuit of teasing the teenaged superheroine.
"Stop picking on me you bitches." Kara snarked and pouted, causing the other three women to smirk at her.
Internally, Kara breathed a sigh of relief when they backed off.
She had peeked. Her curiosity had simply gotten too much and she'd turned on her X-ray vision for a short while and she still wasn't sure if she regretted it or not. It had been the most embarrassing few minutes of her life and left her blushing hot enough to nearly set her bed on fire. Much to her chagrin, it also left her strangely turned on.
"Oh my god! You DID peek, I knew it!" Harley suddenly exclaimed, catching sight of the way Kara was rubbing her thighs together and her bright red blush as her mind drifted towards her memories of what she'd seen.
"No, I didn't! I swear!" She tried to deny desperately, cursing herself for the slip up.
"LIAR!" The other tree shouted gleefully, relishing the opportunity to hold this over the argoan. It was so rare for them to have the moral high ground and they were going to milk it for all it was worth.
"I really didn't!"
Paying her no heed, Harley's hands shot out and tickled her sides as she asked demandingly. "What did you see?"
Kara shrieked and tried to back away, but got caught by the other two women, her sitting position not affording her a good chance to defend herself. "I didn't see anything!"
"Grab her arms and legs!" Pamela commanded with authority as they proceeded to immobilize the teenager.
Kara struggled desperately, all the while cursing the fact that Naruto had blocked off her powers again, no matter how cutely she pouted at him. He said that he didn't want her compassion to provoke her into interrupting the dramatic final battle, which she had to admit might happen if she saw how badly Clark was likely taking her disappearance.
At least she had managed to negotiate something else for it. Naruto had agreed to do one thing that she asked in return for her patience on the matter.
In a three on one with nothing but the baseline human strength of a small teenaged girl, she was subdued fairly easily.
"Are you ready to tell us what you saw?" Harley asked menacingly, holding one of Kara's bare feet and clearly threatening to tickle it.
"I'm not telling you anything!" Was the stubborn response.
"Have it your way then." Harley said with a shrug and proceeded with the torture.
Kara spasmed and howled in hysteric laughter, but couldn't break free from their grip no matter how hard she tried.
Several minutes later, Kara was gasping for breath and completely red faced from reasons other than embarrassment. "Alright, I'll tell you, just stop tickling me!"
Much to her dismay, they didn't let her up but leaned in with expectant faces instead. Reluctantly, Kara started speaking, knowing that they'd go back to the tickle torture if she dragged her feet too long.
"I didn't see much…I started watching while he was...well you were all on your hands and knees and he was…..you know…taking Harley from behind and doing the other two with his fingers." She started haltingly and finished in a rush, blushing furiously all the while.
"Ooh, that was fun." Harley commented, getting agreeing nods from Pamela and Priscilla.
"That man can multitask." Pamela added.
"Did you know that he can cause direct nerve stimulation with his chakra?" Priscilla asked the pinned superheroine and continued without waiting for an answer. "In both holes at the same time even!"
The prone Supergirl glared ineffectually. She really hadn't wanted to know that. She could still clearly remember all three women's faces twisted in a rictus of pleasure while they were being worked over and she didn't want details.
"What more did you see?" Harley prodded.
Reluctantly, Kara started speaking again when a threatening tickling gesture was made.
"The only other thing I saw before I stopped watching was him tying Harley up in chains and you two….you know….slurping it out of her while he…" Kara trailed off, too embarrassed to continue speaking and struggling to find a way to say it without making it sound dirty.
"Screwed them from behind and put some stuffin' in their muffin'?" Harley supplied helpfully.
"Yeah, that." Kara replied flatly with her head thunking on the floor, feeling as if she couldn't possibly get any more embarrassed.
"Did you know that he made his sperm taste like chocolate?" Pamela asked.
"Yeah, hot chocolate, thick and gooey." Priscilla chimed in.
"I hate you all."
Fortunately for Kara, the action was starting so she was spared any further embarrassment as they all scrambled back to the couch.
Naruto gazed approvingly at the battlefield he had prepared.
It used to be just a mostly flat area, but now it also played host to the occasional stone pillar and tree. He'd mostly added those just for the dramatic effect when someone was going to be kicked into them with enough force to break them. There was no such thing as a proper battle between super powered individuals without people breaking heavy materials with their bodies.
The League should have noticed him by now and would be on their way down. He hadn't been very subtle with his landscaping after all.
Ten boring minutes later, the League finally showed up and they looked quite fired up, Superman in particular, though Flash was missing for some reason.
"Hello again, I see you've brought my prize" He greeted pleasantly in referral to Xanna's presence once most of them had exited the Javelin. Batman and if he sensed correctly, Batgirl stayed in there, probably figuring that they would be of more use piloting the space craft.
"Where is my cousin?" Superman demanded instantly.
"Ah? Sweet little Kara? She's in the same place that she's been for the past few days of course. But not to worry, I've been taking very good care of her. I've even been giving her important life lessons, and I've brought three other women to keep her company in case she felt lonely." Naruto said pleasantly and with total honesty.
Of course, the overly sinister, mocking grin he had on his face ruined the effect, but that was all part of the fun. The outraged looks on the faces of the Justice League were certainly amusing.
"If you've hurt her….." Superman trailed off menacingly.
"Well I did beat her every day…." At sparring, card games and various other things, that had hurt her pride a bit. She completely owned him at chess and checkers though. That had hurt his pride because they had a bet going on those. He'd been sporting a very girly looking braid once she got through with his hair.
Superman looked about ready to charge, but was stopped by an arm on his shoulder from Flash. Instead of charging he addressed the horned blond again, this time speaking with cold fury.
"You'll pay for this."
"You see, I would be intimidated by that if you were, well….intimidating." Naruto mocked back.
Kara groaned into her hands at the way things were going so far. She was already wishing that she could just fly over there and clear things up.
"You know, he has a really impressive gift for saying completely innocent things and letting them be horribly misunderstood." Priscilla commented.
"I know." The teenager grumbled back.
"Well, what are you waiting for? The seals on Kara will disappear if you kill me you know." Naruto.
"I should have done it the first time." Superman ground out furiously, obviously gearing up to attack.
"Hindsight is a wonderful thing isn't it?"
Any further banter was cut off when Naruto felt a metal pole of some sort being smashed into the back of his knee, forcing it to bend.
Before he could back to his feet, he felt something pressing down on his shoulders and saw a hint of green in the corner of his vision. Realising that Lantern had to be pushing down on him with his ring, he braced himself to force it up, only to receive an enormously powerful punch in the jaw that sent him flying. No more than a moment later, he felt a double kick in the back that was powerful enough to actually crack his spine, pinballing him in yet another direction.
Shaking his head in mid flight to clear it after the rather brutal assault, he was just in time to hear a female warcry and see the head of an electrified mace smash into his head from above to send him crashing into one of the stone pillars he'd raised previously. It was immediately followed up by a barrage of laser fire from the Javelin's cannon.
The League watched tensely as the horned man slowly got to his feet, rubbing at his jaw and spitting out a wad of blood before commenting casually with a bloody grin forming on his face, apparently none the worse for the wear.
"Well, you slack jawed daffodils sure did learn how to play hard ball fast, now lets see if you can keep it up."
Not giving them time for a response, Naruto shot a fork of lightning towards Superman, only to have it blocked by a golden shield courtesy of Xanna.
"I guess I won't be using that shortcut today." Naruto mused. This much was just as planned. Xanna would be present in this battle to seemingly negate any instant battle ending abilities and give him an excuse to draw things out. It wouldn't be any fun if he could just turn everything around them from the earth to the air into a weapon of destruction.
Sensing a swift movement, his leg shot out and smashed against the titanium rod that Flash had once again aimed at the back of his knee. Unfortunately he had miscalculated the kick just slightly and the titanium pole smacked him right in the shin bone. It didn't really do him any damage aside from a tiny fracture that healed instantly, but it stung like a son of a bitch for a second there. The rod itself was sent flying away as Flash wasn't strong enough to keep hold of it.
Naruto swiped a punch at Flash only to have it avoided. Attempting to turn around and face the others again proved difficult as green shackles formed around his ankles, preventing movement.
He anticipated Superman's punch this time and blocked it with crossed arms and snapped out a punch of his own that caught the kryptonian off guard with its speed, catching him in the jaw and sending him flying.
Naruto resisted the urge to facepalm at how easy that had been. Superman still had the bad habit of leaning forward with his face when he threw his punches.
Immediately after, a punch courtesy of J'onn plowed into his back, but Naruto had been ready this time and anchored himself to the ground with chakra, sending a stream of disruptive chakra to the green shackles on his feet to dissipate them. A backhand lashed towards J'onn an instant later and the martian put up a hasty block as well as going intangible.
Much to his surprise, the attack passed through him. The fist of the other hand however, did not and his moment of surprise cost him as he was sent flying from the blow.
Almost before the martian had gotten hit, Flash was speeding around him with one end of Wonder Woman's lasso in his hand, clearly intent on wrapping him up in it.
Starting to get rather irritated by the buzzing red blur, Naruto stomped his foot on the ground and a wave of incredibly slippery ice spread out in all directions, robbing Flash of his footing and causing him to careen out of control and plow into the ground a short distance away.
"So that's your plan is it? Flash uses speed to create openings, the Green Lightbulb obstructs my movements, Xanna protects you from direct chakra attacks and the rest of you pummel me when you get the opportunity?" Naruto asked rhetorically in the sudden lull.
It was a good plan even. The wide open area worked to their advantage in this as it allowed Flash maximum mobility. The titanium poles that the speedster was using were probably because they had deduced that he couldn't hit hard enough with his fists without injuring himself to make a difference.
Naruto was sure that he could match the speed that Flash was using against him, but whatever power granted the red suited man his speed also allowed him to ignore inconveniences such as sonic booms and air friction. Naruto would need to use some rather delicate and finicky space-time manipulation to achieve the same while still keeping himself able to interact with the environment, otherwise he would set himself on fire trying to move that fast.
That actually had some appeal in its own right, though he'd need to exercise control over the fire to keep it from burning him.
Naruto was snapped out of his momentary wool gathering when Superman started using his heat vision to try and melt the ice. The keyword being 'try' as Naruto simply continuously kept cooling it to keep it from melting.
And then he suddenly lost control of it and the ice rapidly melted.
Naruto shot a dirty look at his wife, only to receive a smirk in return. She was enjoying this way too much.
As soon as the ice melted he had to fend off another super speed attack from Flash as well as constant attempts to pulverize him by the more physically powerful members of the League, not to mention Lantern's constant obstructive hard light creations.
Getting irritated once again, he took to the air and was immediately pursued by everyone except for Flash. The bigger surprise was the net that Batman shot at him from the Javelin though and it took him a few moments to rip it apart. In those few moments, the rest of the Justice League descended on him like a pack of rabid vultures and smashed him to the ground, where Flash took the opportunity to brain him with one of his improvised titanium clubs. Apparently he had brought a stockpile.
"You know, you guys are actually pretty dangerous when you get serious." Naruto complimented casually and brushed some dust away from his haori while his opponents landed.
"Surrender, you can't win." Green Lantern commanded with authority, seeing that the fight was going in their favor.
The horned blond couldn't help rolling his eyes at that. "We've barely even started having fun and you want me to give up?"
"You think this is some kind of game?" Superman hissed furiously, clearly only barely in control of his anger. Probably the only reason he hadn't flown off the handle so far had been because he got to hit Naruto.
"But it is a game, I like games you see. Your cousin and I played a few games with my balls, it was awesome." Those were some epic games of volleyball and they were indeed his balls. He'd created them after all.
Superman wasn't known for screaming in rage when he fought, so it caught most of them by surprise when he did exactly that.
Naruto continued to keep an amused grin on his face as he fended off the berserk assault. The others had trouble approaching with the way that the kryptonian was flailing his limbs about so it was basically just the two of them for the moment, though Lantern was trying to help as much as possible.
It didn't save Superman from getting his fist caught, being lifted into the air and slammed back into the ground. Before the others could rush in to help, Naruto hurled the kryptonian towards the sky with massive strength, making him fly off so fast that the air around the thrown man caught fire due to air friction.
Seeing Flash charging at him, Naruto sprayed the ground right in front of him with sticky spider webbing. Flash didn't stop quite fast enough once he registered the danger and ended up getting his feet stuck. This in turn caused him to overbalance forward and faceplant right into the webbing.
"Not again." The red suited man groaned, causing Naruto to smirk.
Without looking, he sent several wind blades to intercept the nets that Batman and Batgirl had once again shot at him from the Javelin.
Xanna once again undid his webbing to free Flash while he was busy in a melee against Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman and J'onn, with Lantern once again causing trouble for him with that shiny ring of his.
Mid-fight, Naruto frowned in slight confusion when he sensed Batgirl getting out of the Javelin, apparently intent on fighting him on foot. Judging by the frustration he could feel from Batman, she was going against orders, probably angry at him for kidnapping her friend. She was also probably feeling useless in the Javelin since she wasn't trained to pilot it and was thus relegated to being an observer.
He was going to need to be careful with that one so that he didn't hurt her by accident. This really wasn't a fight that a regular human should be involved in, at least not on foot.
Much to his impressed surprise, Batgirl kept her cool and didn't approach, instead limiting herself to playing support and using a hand held net launcher to try and obstruct him. Smart girl, forcing him to split his attention even further.
Seeing a vulnerability in their attack pattern, Naruto grabbed hold of the martian and tossed him at Wonder Woman, simultaneously also bowling over the newly arrived Flash. Hawkgirl got her wings glued with more webbing.
Naruto was almost ready to go on the offensive when he was rather rudely pre-empted.
"Banshō Ten'in(Heavenly Attraction of All Creation)."
The Deva Path technique pulled him right into Wonder Woman's fist, with Lantern taking the chance to blast him with a more offensive ring power instead of just binding him.
"You know, you guys are really starting to annoy me." Naruto grumbled once he got back on his feet.
"What the hell does it take to put this guy down?!" Lantern groused in frustration at seeing the horned man just get back up as if they hadn't done anything at all to him.
"More than you can do Green Fleshlight." Naruto mocked back, using the name of one of the more ridiculous sex toys he'd seen in this dimension so far to insult the man. "But since there's obviously a bit too many of you to fight comfortably with just my fists, let me try something else.
Upon saying that, he clapped his hands together and thick tree roots burst from the ground and attacked the Justice League members, but left Xanna and Batgirl alone.
This situation proved to be of varying difficult for them. Lantern had an easy enough time of it, being able to cut through the growth with an application of his ring power. Wonder Woman was strong and fast enough to deal with them without too much difficulty. Flash had no particular means of destroying the roots so he had to flee from them and so did Hawkgirl(freed from the webbing by Xanna by then). Batman simply used the ship's laser canon to destroy them at range.
While this was going on, Superman came back and started cutting and burning through the roots with his heat vision.
"Alright, that didn't work, so lets try this." Naruto commented and made two wood clones for each member of the Justice League to fight.
"He can make clones of himself too?" Hawkgirl said in disbelief.
"Kara was pretty impressed by that one too." Naruto answered the rhetorical question. She really had been, especially the memory return feature.
Superman was by this point looking quite apocalyptic. You'd think someone just told him that his cousin had been gang raped or something.
Everyone was soon engaged in a desperate two on one battle, he'd even sent a couple of them after Xanna to give him an excuse to use a bolt of lightning to disable the Javelin and make it crash a short distance away.
"I REALLY wish he would stop making those kinds of easily misunderstood statements." Kara grumbled.
"Oh come on, you've gotta admit that it's pretty funny." Harley ribbed, grinning as she continued watching the fight and munching on popcorn.
"Maybe it would be if I didn't have to be the one explaining that no, I was not being raped or tortured but having a vacation while everyone worried themselves sick over me." Kara snipped back irritably.
"Just blame it all on Naruto, it is all his fault anyway." Priscilla pointed out reasonably.
"That's not going to make my cousin any easier to live with for the foreseeable future. He'll be freaking out over this for years." The teenaged superheroine bemoaned, already imagining how irritating Clark was going to be.
"Then kick his ass with the stuff that Naruto taught you, that'll show him that you don't need protection." Pamela advised, her eyes never leaving the sight of multiple Naruto's fighting the Justice League.
"Hey check it out, Superman looks like he's about to lose it." Harley interrupted the conversation.
The others looked and the kryptonian did indeed appear as if he was about explode. He had his jaw clenched in anger and there was a constant and very out of character scowl on his face. From what they could see he'd been the only member of the League that had managed to destroy one of the clones, though another immediately replaced it, which might have contributed to the man's frustration.
Everyone was being pressed hard by the wood clones, except for Xanna who kept a permanent golden shield around her to protect her as well as give her an excuse not to protect the League.
"You guys having fun? I can make more if you're bored?" Naruto asked mockingly, deliberately riling them up.
A few more minutes of this and Superman's already strained patience snapped. Ignoring the two clones attacking him, he shot towards the original and smashed his fist directly into Naruto's chest.
Surprised but pleased by the aggressive move, Naruto made certain to weaken the durability of his body. He hadn't thought that one of them would pull something like this for a while yet.
Superman didn't hold back when he threw his punch, that in combination with Naruto deliberately weakening himself made his fist go right through the horned man's chest.
The kryptonian looked horrified at the gurgled, pained scream and blood spray that resulted from his attack. He'd been expecting to injure the man sure, but not like this. Intellectually, he knew that this man was evil and the things he'd said that he had done to Kara filled him with a fury the likes of which he'd never felt before, but feeling bones and internal organs rubbing against his arm reminded him poignantly of his determination not to kill. He might have said that he should have killed the man during their first battle, but the reality of it hit him harder than he'd expected it to.
He tried to pull his arm out, but Naruto grabbed it and kept it in place.
While this was going on, the clones had collapsed and allowed the rest of the League to approach the grim scene. Even Batman had made it out of the crashed Javelin by now and was present.
Having a deeply sickened expression on his face, Superman tried to get his arm free almost frantically when Naruto spoke to him.
"Tell me something Super Panties….." He said weakly, coughing up some blood before continuing. "…does it feel good to kill the man that took your cousin from you?"
"….No." Superman replied thickly, not feeling any real sense of accomplishment from what he'd done.
"Would have….felt better…..to protect her….wouldn't it?" Naruto asked again, streams of blood now leaking freely from his lips.
"Yeah." Was the quiet response from the kryptonian. If Uzu was to be believed then Kara would be freed now that the man was about to die, but would she ever be alright? He might feel terrible over taking even this vile man's life, but he would have preferred to feel terrible without feeling guilty for his failure to protect his cousin on top of it.
"Sucks to be you." Naruto suddenly said with a wide grin as if he wasn't injured in the slightest, all trace of weakness gone.
Before anyone could react, a black rod was impaled into Superman's shoulder and the man collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
Throwing the boneless body of the kryptonian away, Naruto turned to the rest of the League with a gaping hole still in his chest.
"What in Hera's name…" Wonder Woman said in shock, watching with a hanging jaw along with the others as the hole quickly closed without even a scar being left behind. Well Batman's jaw didn't hang, but he was almost as surprised as everyone else.
The four women observing the whole thing let out relieved sighs upon seeing that Naruto was fine.
"I know he told us that he was immortal, but he made that look way too real." Pamela grumbled.
"Tell me about it, that was an award winning performance. Of course, it helps that it was all real blood and gore." Harley added wryly.
"What have you done to him?" Diana demanded once the shock had passed.
"The black rods of the Outer Path have powerful disruptive properties on all energies. Through them my will is channeled and my will is that Superman shall not move." Naruto explained, another two rods growing out of his palms.
He watched in amusement as the amazon tried to grab the rod and pull it out only to let go immediately, staring at her hands in shock.
"What's wrong?" Batman asked.
"It felt colder than ice, but my hands are still warm." Diana tried to explain.
"What you felt was the chill of spirit, someone so unaware of the power of their own soul can never hope pull out the rods." Naruto explained once again.
Lantern tried to grasp it with his ring, but was frustrated to note that the powers of his ring refused to work on the rod.
"It's no good, I can't pull it out either." He said in frustration.
Superman heard everything but couldn't move no matter how hard he tried. He felt so terribly cold, as if the very warmth of his blood was being stolen away by the rod in his shoulder.
"Why do you keep talking about Superman's failure to protect his cousin?" Batman asked shrewdly, the question having been bugging him for some time now.
"I had little sisters once, but they died because I was too weak. Why should this fool that lacked even the resolve to kill in her defense be allowed to keep his?"
"Just because you lost your sisters is no reason to take away Kara!" Batgirl snapped at him in anger.
"Well, this is all a moot point now anyway. It's time I get to the purpose of my visit to this world." Naruto informed them, causing them to go tense in expectation of an attack.
It was useless as the air itself attacked them, the ground shook and broke their footing and roots rose to bind them. Being attacked on so many fronts left them unable to react properly when more of the black rods were thrown at them, hitting fleshy areas and avoiding bones or vital organs. The wounds themselves were minor, but as soon as they were pierced, all their strength left them.
Once they were all incapacitated, the roots bound and picked them up so that they could see what was going on.
"Xanna….run!" Superman managed to gasp out, having mustered enough strength for that.
The horned woman did not, instead simply gazing impassively at the man that had in the end so easily defeat the Justice League, seemingly resigned to her fate.
Naruto grinned at her and jumped towards her with his fist prepared to apparently punch her in the jaw.
Thus leaving everyone staring with uncomprehending incredulity when he crashed down onto one knee right in front of her and held out a bouquet of bright red roses which he had pulled out of….somewhere. The words he said shouted out as soon as this happened didn't make the situation any clearer for them.
"PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!"
After that, even Batman was staring with his jaw hanging.
"All this…..so that you could ask me to go on a date?" Xanna asked neutrally, betraying no feelings one way or the other.
"Of course, nothing says 'I love you' like a mountain of corpses." Naruto replied firmly, still kneeling in the same flower extended pose.
"Well, that is true." Xanna said and took the roses.
Naruto grinned wider, swept his wife into a dip and kissed her.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a just minute here, didn't you say that he was after you because he wanted to kill you." Flash burst out, not even bothering to wonder why he was suddenly able to speak without trouble.
After he was done kissing his wife, Naruto turned towards the bound and confused Justice League, assumed a hyper dramatic kabuki pose with one hand extended in front of him, the other arching over his head and made a similarly hyper dramatic shocked expression.
"PLOT TWIST! We're married and you've been the butt of a very elaborate joke."
In the absolute silence that followed that proclamation, a dusty wind blew between them. The Justice League stared somewhat stupidly and Naruto remained in his ridiculous, Jiraiya inspired kabuki pose.
"What about Kara?" Clark asked desperately, hoping beyond hope that part had just been a joke too. A very cruel joke but just a joke nonetheless. He was all too aware that the both of them might well be evil monsters that got their kicks out of tormenting people like this for real, but his mind was desperately grasping onto the idea that his cousin might be unharmed. He didn't even care too much about being toyed with like this, at least not right now.
"Oh right, Kara. Hang on a second." Naruto said and slapped his hand on the ground, causing the aforementioned teenage girl to appear in a puff of smoke.
"You bastard, you said you wouldn't hurt them!" She immediately yelled out, grabbed two fistfulls of his golden hair and pulled on it hard.
"Oh calm down sweetie, can't you see they're fine?" Naruto reasoned, grinning at the aggressive little bundle of teenaged outrage.
"They have metal poles impaled in their bodies!"
"It was just a little friendly stabbing, It shouldn't take them more than a week to heal at the slowest." He didn't bother correcting that the Outer Path rods weren't technically made of metal, no matter how much it looked and felt like it.
"You better hold up to your end of the bargain after this!" Kara said threateningly.
"Of course, as soon as you tell me what you want. Within reason of course." Naruto replied in amusement.
"Fine then. I won't ask you to stop killing people, since I get that feeling that you'd consider that unreasonable." Kara began, to which Naruto nodded. That would indeed be unreasonable. Killing people was an important way of resolving problems to him.
"I want you to stop being so cruel when you kill people." She finished smugly.
Naruto stared at her for a while before speaking. "Wouldn't you rather have a giant diamond statue of yourself or something?"
"No, if you're going to kill people then I want you to stop making it extra painful." She insisted.
"But….." Naruto started to protest, intending to say something to the effect of only doing it to those who deserve it, but deflated when he saw her resolute face. "….fine."
"Good boy." Kara said patronizingly.
"Oi, be careful with that disrespect towards your elders. I'm not averse to spanking you."
"You're not going to spank me Naruto, I'm too cute." Kara argued smugly.
Naruto stared at her for a few moments before speaking thoughtfully. "I'm not sure whether I should be proud or annoyed that you're exploiting my weakness for cute girls so ruthlessly."
"Those need not be mutually exclusive husband." Xanna pointed out with amusement.
"Excuse me, but could someone explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Lantern exploded, losing his patience with the byplay.
"What he said." Flash seconded.
"Are you fools deaf or merely stupid?" Xanna asked archly. "We decided to make a game of playing with you for our amusement."
"But why? Why would you do that?" Diana asked and Xanna could easily perceive the betrayed tone in her words. Clearly, the idea of being used was not sitting well with her.
"Because we could, because we felt like it." Xanna replied without a hint of remorse.
The amazon looked even more hurt by the heartless response, causing Naruto to give his wife a slightly reproachful look.
Sighing internally at her overly sympathetic husband and the things she did for him, she nevertheless spoke directly to Diana's mind in order to keep her words private. There is no need to feel so used, you only wanted a night of casual sex and that is exactly what you got. The only amusement I took from it was the minor discomfort I caused you.
Diana was startled at the voice in her mind but replied all the same. You used me as if I was something to play with.
Xanna nearly rolled her eyes at the bitter tone. If I recall, you were all too eager to jump into bed with me. My original intention was only to cause you some discomfort with my advances, not seduce you. It isn't my fault if you couldn't measure up to me. If you wish to improve then I would consider allowing you to join my husband and I after he is done satisfying me, no doubt we would be able to educate you properly.
Diana balked and blushed at the blunt offer. I have no desire to lay with such a vile man, nor do I wish to be 'educated'. She well remembered how disgusted she was by the behavior of the horned man during their first battle.
He is a much better man than he pretended to be for the sake of this game, but it is your loss. The offer will not come again. Xanna replied indifferently, not caring either way. If Diana was too much of a prude to pass up the(from Xanna's point of view) generous offer, then it truly was her loss. Honestly, these mortals and their ridiculous moral hang ups.
Xanna broke the mental link after that, knowing that the amazon still felt sour over the whole thing but not as much as before. It was enough to get a thankful look and smile from Naruto for her effort, which had been the only reason she'd bothered in the first place. If it had been up to her, she'd have just let the amazon stew in her misplaced bitterness until she got over it. The things she did for love.
While this conversation had been going on, the more outspoken members of the League had been ranting angrily about being played with or the deaths of hundreds of people for the sake of their 'sick game'. Naruto had been typically flippant about it and annoyed them even further. Kara was trying to play peacekeeper but was mostly too busy assuring her cousin and Barbara that nothing bad had happened to her at all, quite the contrary in fact. Honestly, the worst that Naruto had done to her was not allow her to leave.
"Husband, we are leaving." Xanna declared with finality. She had things that she wanted to do and listening to these idiots whine about their bruised ego wasn't one of them.
"As you say my lady." Naruto responded grandly and moved closer to her.
"Bye Naruto." Kara said cheerfully and waved, much to the shock and anger of Superman who was nowhere close to adjusted to the idea of his cousin being friends with the horned menace.
"By the way Kara, you forgot to grab this before I summoned you." Naruto said back and tossed her the katana he'd made for her, having summoned it from their vacation spot.
"You didn't give me any time to grab it." She argued back, catching the blade and unconsciously smiling at the feeling of familiarity it exuded.
"Make sure you take good care of that blade and it will take good care of you, and keep up your swordplay." Naruto advised. "Also, come pick up your other stuff some time in the next few days."
"Sure thing bastard-sensei." She snipped back sarcastically, but with obvious affection.
"I'm so proud that my student is a disrespectful little shit." He said back warmly, grinning all the while.
With an irritated look on her face at the delay, Xanna grabbed Naruto's hand and teleported them both away, leaving him just enough time to give a small wave to Kara before they vanished.
Kara looked on fondly as the horned duo disappeared. She was actually going to miss the constant challenging spars and verbal snipping at each other. She was even going to sort of miss his perverted teasing. Not matter how much he embarrassed her with it, there was no denying that it was nice to know that he considered her attractive, even if neither one of them was interested in sex with the other.
"I think we'd all like a detailed explanation now." Batman said with a higher level of grim seriousness than normal.
Kara sighed despairingly, already knowing that this was going to be a very irritating conversation/interrogation. The next time she saw Naruto she was going to punch him in the face for leaving her to clean up his mess.
Naruto oofed when his back crashed against a sturdy tree, but even that was cut off when Xanna's lips crashed on top of his forcefully. He responded enthusiastically, having missed his wife just as much as she had obviously missed him.
From what little attention he had to spare for the location, it seemed to be a wooded area near the mansion where he'd spent the past few days vacationing.
Both of their clothes vanished into nothing and Xanna's hand immediately grabbed hold of his already erect member, eliciting a groan from Naruto.
He'd expected that there would be some foreplay before they got to the main event, but he got the idea that his wife wasn't in a patient mood when she pushed him down forcefully until he was sitting at the base of the tree. Without any delay at all, she sat on his lap and impaled herself on his member all the way in the process. Naruto grabbed her hips instinctively as soon as she was all the way down.
"Missed me?" He tried to ask teasingly, though it came out as something more resembling a growl.
"Quite." She confirmed and began grinding herself against him. "Let's not do this separating thing again for a while."
"Couldn't….agree more." He growled out with a grunt as he felt her insides clenching around him with far more strength than a human would have in their entire body.
There was no further talking after that, only groaning and the occasional grunt when she made a particularly forceful movement. A very short while later, Xanna's face developed a wicked smirk as she put into practice something that she had thought up while she'd been up on that boring space station.
If nothing else, it had given her a lot of time to think about what she'd like to do to her husband and have him do to her.
Naruto was perfectly happy to oblige when a nipple was pushed into his mouth and he instantly started to suck on it and scrape it with his teeth, knowing that she liked it that way. He was surprised however, when he felt the first trickling of what he recognised as milk from the nipple.
That was new.
So kinky! I like it. He sent to her mentally and sucked harder on the nipple in his mouth, trying to draw more from it. He hadn't thought that being able to drink from her breasts would be such a huge turn on, but it was.
She moaned in pleasure when he did that and clenched her vaginal tunnel even harder, drawing a strangled groan out of him. Shut up and keep at it.
A few minutes later, he was doing the same to the other nipple and Xanna kept on squeezing his tool mercilessly until he couldn't take it any more and exploded into her. Even then she didn't stop and continued to keep up the pressure until she'd milked out every last drop and he was left gasping for breath.
"You just keep proving that you're the best woman ever." Naruto said contently and leaned up to kiss her while trailing his claws down her back to make her shiver pleasantly. She was still clenched tightly around him and he was in no rush to change that.
"Of course I'm the best woman ever Naruto, I am a goddess." She murmured back just as contently after they broke the kiss, not bothering to put the usual over the top arrogance into the statement. She didn't feel like it, not with her beloved husband still hard deep inside her and being filled with his warm seed.
The stayed that way for a few minutes longer before Naruto spoke up. "How about we continue this inside?"
"You are already inside husband, but yes, let us continue." She replied with a smirk and restarted her rocking motions.
Had the situation been different, Naruto might have shrugged. Indoors or outdoors made very little difference to him. As it was, he just caught one of her nipples with his teeth and lips and looked up at her with the clear demand that she start producing milk again. If she was going to think up something that was such a huge turn on, then she had to have been prepared to keep doing it. He gleefully started sucking on the nipple when she obliged him.
It took them quite a while before they relocated to the bedroom.
Pamela chewed on her lower lip nervously as she considered approaching Xanna for a private conversation.
It had been just over a week since the battle against the Justice League and things had been….strange.
Kara had briefly stopped by to pick up all the extra outfits and other knick knacks that Naruto had created for her, as well a punch him in the face, but other than that she was back at home. From what limited word they'd gotten from her, Superman was being predictably overbearing and getting on her nerves. She only managed to visit because she snuck away. At least the Justice League had gotten the hint that it would be a bad idea to try making an arrest and were thus steering clear of this place.
She was actually somewhat impressed that they managed to keep themselves in check after Naruto had circulated photos of their idiotically shocked expressions to the media. Nothing quite like pictures of respectable heroes staring at something with their jaws hanging to maul your reputation.
It had been funny to check their fansites and watch all the boiling fanboy and fangirl rage though.
Naruto and Xanna seemed to spend most of their time making up for losing out on sex during their relatively brief separation. Naturally this meant that neither she nor Harley or Priscilla were getting any. Naruto had told them that Xanna might allow them in on it, but in that case they should be prepared to be fully subjected to doing whatever she wanted them to do or else get kicked out none too gently.
None of them had been quite brave enough place themselves into that kind of absolute submission to a woman that they didn't know anything about. Not to mention that Naruto had been quite honest in his descriptions of her as being very domineering. When they'd asked for details he described their early sex life where he'd basically been an interesting human plaything until he'd gotten her to treat him as someone dear to her and then as an equal.
None of them really understood what the hell kind of weird development their relationship had, but they knew enough to steer clear when those two were going at it.
Regardless, Xanna was now alone for the first time since she'd arrived and Pamela knew that she couldn't waste this opportunity. It might never come again.
With this in mind she entered the living room, where Xanna was reading a book and apparently using her extra long tongue to scoop ice cream from a tub.
"Um, Xanna? I was wondering if I could speak with you, if you have time?" She asked awkwardly, unsure if the horned goddess was going to be irritated by the interruption. Naruto had always been very easy to get along with, but this woman was just so damned intimidating even while doing something as silly as using just her tongue to eat ice cream.
"Yes, you have been. For the past three days in fact." Xanna said casually while turning a page. "Get on with it then, it is the entire reason I sent Naruto on a little errand for a few hours after all."
An ice cream run to be precise. Ice cream created with the Creation of All Things just never seemed to taste right.
"You knew?" Pamela asked in surprise.
"With you being so close, It would be hard for me not to know. I also know that all three of you have been terribly horny." Xanna finished with a smirk.
"Yes well, the two of you have been pretty….loud…..at times." Pamela muttered in embarrassment, blushing all the while.
"So, what did you want?"
"I, well…um…..Iwantababy!" The former villainess rushed to say, trying to force the words out as soon as possible and just get the embarrassment over with.
No such luck though, as Xanna simply stared at her unblinkingly with an obvious demand that she speak clearly.
"I want a baby." Pamela repeated slowly and concisely, not wanting to repeat herself a third time. It had been hard enough to scramble together the courage to even approach the horned woman with this request.
"And you are coming to me with this why? Mind you, I could grow the proper genitalia to get you pregnant and I could probably also impregnate you with it, but I have no interest in creating any half-god spawn and I'm getting the feeling that isn't what you're after either." Xanna said completely blandly and without embarrassment.
She could do it yes, but she never would. Naruto found the idea to be deeply, deeply disturbing and liked to block the knowledge from his conscious mind. It was rather funny to see at times and she occasionally made mention of it just to see the nauseated look on his face.
Pamela stammered incoherently and made vague fending off gestures to indicate that no, that wasn't what she wanted before eventually getting herself back under control. "No, I just wanted to ask Naruto if he would be willing to give me a baby and since he's your husband, I wanted to first ask if you'd be alright with me asking him to do that."
"While that is considerate of you, it was also unnecessary as I don't care whether he gets you pregnant or not. Despite the similarity in our appearance, Naruto is different from me and any children of his would not be innately half-gods. I would not allow them to retain the power of chakra, but that could be pulled from them before they even developed in your womb."
Pamela was a bit disappointed to hear that. It would have been nice if her children could have grown up to be the among the strongest beings in existence. It would certainly save her a lot of worry. Regardless, hearing that Xanna wouldn't mind had already accomplished her objective in approaching the horned woman, though her next words dispelled that hope.
"Your real obstacle is the fact that Naruto would feel responsible for his spawn no matter how much you told him that he didn't need to be. He would want to be involved in their lives, to stay around and take care of them and that I will not allow. Naruto is mine and I will not share his love with anyone, not with other women and not with children."
Pamela stared with her mouth open for nearly a full minute, just trying to wrap her mind around what she'd just heard before finally managing a response.
"That…..is the most selfish thing I've ever heard." Not sharing him with other women was perfectly understandable, but refusing to have children because he would love them too? The thought of it was so inconceivable that she had never even entertained the thought of such a person existing.
Xanna shrugged uncaringly. "So what? Selflessness is not required of me and I've never made any secret of it. Naruto understands and his is the only opinion that matters aside from my own. He knows that he is free to do whatever he pleases with whoever he pleases as long as his heart remains mine alone."
Pamela nodded slowly, feeling an odd sense of disconnection from normality. Bits and pieces of knowledge that she'd heard about this woman from Naruto were suddenly becoming clear. Xanna was simply so far removed from being human that trying to look at her from a human perspective was at best useless and at worst fatal.
"So, just to be clear…..You don't care if he gets me pregnant as long as he doesn't care about the child and it doesn't retain any chakra?" Pamela asked for the sake of clarity, making a conscious effort to sound completely non-judgemental. It was suddenly clear to her that this woman could kill her right here and right now, despite her friendship to Naruto and then simply tell him that she'd done it because she wanted to without serious repercussions. Naruto would likely be upset about it, but not enough to make anything of it, as he would trust that his wife had done it with good reason.
"Exactly, but that will not happen. Naruto would care for the child and he knows it. If you ask him, he will refuse you because of that and you will have made him feel awkward about it because he truly would have wanted to help you. So it would be best if you simply didn't ask him for it and spare both him and yourself the trouble."
"I guess." Pamela agreed despondently. She had really wanted that baby.
"One of us can still fix the problem with your immune system blocking your ability to have children you know." Xanna pointed out. "You could still have them that way."
"Thank you, I would like that." Pamela said, trying to smile.
"I'm hearing a but." Xanna stated casually.
"Well…..it's just that I was hoping that Naruto would agree to be the father. Other men are…."
"Pathetic? Worthless sacks of meat?" Xanna supplied helpfully.
"Yeah, most of them." Pamela agreed. Her general hatred of humanity hadn't abated much no matter how relaxing this vacation had been.
"Then adopt, there are plenty of orphaned brats out there that would be ecstatic at having a mother to take care of them. No need for any messy childbirth either."
"As if the government would let me keep a baby, even if I do give up on crime." Pamela scoffed.
"Then steal one away or go to some third world country and steal one away there, I hear that such things are easier in those areas. If you're feeling particularly vicious you could even murder some hapless family and take their children." The horned goddess suggested, having already gone back to her book and ice cream.
Pamela winced at the brutality of the last suggestion. That was worse than anything she'd ever considered doing and the horned woman said it as if it was no big deal. Clearly, Naruto's wife wasn't into deliberate acts of cruelty, but mostly because she didn't find them interesting.
"Naruto might decide to kill me if I did that last one."
That got a smirk to form on Xanna's face even as she replied. "Yes, he very well might."
Later that same day in her room, Pamela was sitting on her bed and mulling things over. The conversation with Xanna had definitely not gone the way she'd expected, but in the end it boiled down to the fact that she would not be convincing Naruto to give her babies.
She knew that the two of them weren't going to be staying in this dimension for too much longer, so she needed to take advantage of her friendship with a god before they got bored and left. At the moment, there were still a few things of interest for them here, but that wouldn't last. It might have if Naruto wasn't dead set on adopting a few little sisters and that would be hard to do in a world where he was known as a mass murderer.
A few days and several long conversations with Harley and Priscillla later, she had the beginnings of an idea and went to talk to Naruto about it to see if he could help her overcome certain logistical hurdles.
Naruto looked askance at his wife when she suddenly cocked her head with narrow eyes and started chuckling around a minute later.
"What is it?"
"Those idiots in the Justice League have somehow managed to to get into a fight with one of those Greek godlings on Themyscira, Hades if my limited knowledge of that pantheon serves."
"How are they doing?" Naruto asked with interest.
"Poorly, they were unprepared to face him and are being toyed with. Though it seems that they aren't all there either." She explained.
Naruto gave a predator smile as he asked his next question. "I want to fight him."
Xanna rolled her eyes at the eagerness in his voice. "Of course you do husband, you've been bored ever since you helped Pamela with that idea of hers."
They both got ready to teleport over to Themyscira and pick a fight with has-been Greek god when they felt a sudden flicker of a strangely alien disapproval from an outside source.
"What was that?" Naruto asked with a frown, trying to pinpoint where the feeling had come from without success.
Xanna had her eyes narrowed in concentration as she sought to locate the source of the feeling and went wide eyed in surprise when she succeeded.
"Husband, do you remember when I told you that there was no omnipotent, omniscient godlike entity in existence?" She asked with humor in her voice.
"You're telling me that there is one aren't you?" Naruto asked wryly.
"Yes, though it is a rather pathetic sort of creature in my opinion. It gives nothing, takes nothing and might as well not exist for all the impact it has on the universe. I haven't noticed it before now for these exact reasons….well, those and the fact that it seems to be so widespread that it is difficult to perceive as anything other than background noise." Xanna explained.
"Then why did it let us know that it doesn't want us going to pick a fight with this Hades character?" Naruto asked with a confused frown.
"It must have noted your tendency of killing those you fight and objects to the killing of this godling for some reason."
"What if we did it anyway?" He asked with a grin. "Is it stronger than us?"
"It is definitely stronger than you. As for me…I would say that it is not necessarily stronger, but it is most certainly more knowledgeable and capable of projecting its power on a much greater area. The most likely outcome of a full scale conflict would be the destabilization of this universe but no clear winner. I can only guess that the Shinju would have eventually become something like this had things not gone awry, our original universe was practically in its infancy after all."
Xanna was suddenly left feeling if she and Naruto had done the Shinju a favor by killing it. An existence like this was just so…..pointless.
"So….no fighting it?"
"No Naruto, no fighting it. We are in fact going to be leaving now that we know this thing exists." Xanna declared.
"Why? Didn't you say that it never does anything?"
"Well clearly it is not averse to getting off it's useless rump for certain reasons and I will not be told what I can't do by a worthless relic whose only purpose is to keep the universe going without any discernible reason for it." She snarked irritably.
"Well, we were leaving soon anyway, so it doesn't make any difference in the end." Naruto answered with a shrug. "I just need to say goodbye to Kara, Pammy, Peaches and Kitten and we're good to go."
"Do it quickly then, I feel insulted just knowing that there is something looking over my shoulder constantly and waiting for me to do something that it doesn't like."
"Will do." He said agreeably and then grinned excitably. "And then we're going to get me some little sisters, I can already hear them saying 'Onii-chan!'"
"You have problems husband, you truly do." Xanna responded with a sigh and facepalm.