Chereads / Crossover Naruto Fanfics / Chapter 139 - Chapter 4

Chapter 139 - Chapter 4

Several people have reviewed in response to my blunder in the previous chapter about there not being some kind of all powerful deity in the DC universe and I already have ideas to correct that, which I considered to be better than rewriting that part of the chapter. Thank you for pointing that out.

Other than that, I've got nothing to say apart from enjoy this newest chapter.

Diana was making her way back towards her room now that the latest meeting that the Justice League had held on the topic of Uzu was over.

In short, they had nothing.

Aside from sporadic sightings, the horned man seemed to have vanished like a ghost. Nobody really trusted the sudden silence and figured that he was planning something big. Xanna had confirmed their suspicions, telling them that Uzu was well known to be unpredictable and seemingly random in his actions, but he had a habit of vanishing before he made any big moves.

It was unfortunate that J'onn couldn't find him via telepathy as their quarry was just as invisible to him as Xanna was.

Speaking of Xanna...

Diana didn't know what to do about her.

She had fervently thanked Hera that no one had needed her for anything while she had been sleeping off their encounter. The life support system had fortunately cycled the air around so her room hadn't reeked of sex anymore and she had managed to remove all evidence of what had gone on.

The sexual experience had been pleasurable on a completely different level from anything she'd ever experienced on Themyscira, but there was more to it than that. She was embarrassed at how apparently inadequate she'd been to the horned woman and her pride stung at being so completely dominated.

She hadn't asked, but Diana got the distinct feeling that Xanna was much older and therefore more experienced than her.

It didn't help that veiled suggestive looks had been sent her way several times during the meeting and she was clearly expected to show up in the horned woman's room later on. The problem was that Diana didn't want to be submissive and cater to the domineering woman's demands like a servant and certainly not like a pleasure slave.

Her body had tingled with leftover sensation even after she'd woken up and just the memory of it made an uncomfortably pleasant heat burn between her legs. It made her want to go back for more.

Unfortunately, Diana was under no delusions as to what would likely happen if she played by the rules set by the other woman. She had seen that Xanna clearly enjoyed the dominant position she'd claimed and Diana was far from certain in her ability to force the horned woman to accept her as an equal. She was the most accomplished warrior on Themyscira despite her young age, but this was a wholly different sort of battle. In this, she was clearly a rookie trying to measure up to a seasoned veteran and failing rather predictably.

Despite her mauled pride, Diana decided that it would be best not to try vindicating herself and compounding the situation. She was actually rather apprehensive of the distinct possibility that it would happen again, mangling her pride further and eventually ending up as being normal for her to be dominated like that. It was not unheard of for a younger amazon to fall under the sway of an older and more forceful one in such a manner, though the last such incident had been long before her time. The last known incident anyway.

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear her mind of its preoccupation on this subject, Diana could hardly believe how much consternation her desire for the familiar release in the arms of a woman had brought her. Especially considering the fact that Xanna would only be with them for a short time and there were more important things to think about, such as the ruthless killer they were confronted with.

"Troubling thoughts?" Came the casual question from the very woman who was the source of the troubling thoughts she was asking about.

Diana spun around to face her, surprised that she had been snuck up on. "Xanna...you startled me."

The amazon's eyes flicked downwards towards the other woman's bare feet briefly, knowing it to be the most likely reason for her incredibly silent movement. Xanna had refused to wear any kind of footwear despite the cold metal floors and walked with ghostly silence when she wished to do so.

"Yes, you seemed rather distracted." Xanna replied conversationally, taking a step closer.

"I was considering our lack of success at finding Uzu and trying to think of any way to track him." Diana lied, not wanting to betray her conflicting feelings about the sexual encounter to the very woman she'd had that encounter with.

"There is no need to lie to me you know, I am well aware that you are unsettled by what happened between us." Xanna replied with a small smirk stepping even closer.

Diana backed away in time with her approach as she replied. "Not so much by what happened, but the way it happened." She admitted.

"Did you not enjoy it?" The horned goddess asked and continued her approach.

"We shouldn't be talking of this here, anyone could see us." Diana deflected slightly nervously, having backed up into a wall in the face of the other woman's predatory approach.

They might be in one of the less frequented areas but that didn't mean that there wasn't still a considerable danger of someone walking in on them. She knew that out of all the members of the Justice League she was the least prudish, which was highly ironic considering how generally perverse Man's World was. Either way, she didn't want her tryst with their guest to be known to everyone.

Xanna paid no heed to the words and pressed herself into the amazon princess sensually. "I think it makes it more exciting." She whispered into her ear.

"Well I don't." Diana hissed quietly, trying to gently push the other woman away but meeting with no success whatsoever. Whatever else Xanna's people may be, physically weak they were not.

"Are you certain?" Xanna said teasingly and deliberately pressed her thigh between the amazon's legs, drawing a gasp from her. "I have been wondering why you go into battle in such attire. It certainly flatters you, but it seems rather inadequate as armor." This was emphasized by her hands sliding over the body hugging armor and finishing their journey by cradling Diana's face in their clawed grip.

Diana wasn't able to muster any answer to that for more than one reason. For one thing, she couldn't come up with any valid reason herself...that was just the way that the armor was and she had never questioned it. For another, the way that the horned woman was grinding her thigh between her legs was rapidly reminding her body of the pleasures inflicted on it earlier and she was already getting wet.

Unknown to her, Xanna was once again cheating and stimulating her pleasure centers with chakra. She would never have been able to get this kind of reaction out of the amazon with just her thigh otherwise.

"Stop, don't do this here." Diana whispered with a slight pant, hardly able to believe how easily any sense of control had been wrested away from her.

"Then come to my room later and I will do it there." She punctuated her purred statement by pushing her thigh more firmly upwards along with a tiny chakra surge, drawing a gasp from the amazon. "Don't keep me waiting too long now." She finished with a whisper, her lips nearly touching Diana's.

Xanna moved away after that, but Diana stayed leaning on that wall for nearly a minute longer, hovering perilously close to orgasm and silently thankful that she didn't have anything trickling down her legs at least.

With a shudder that she wasn't sure was from apprehension or pleasure, Diana concluded that no, she would definitely not be winning any fights for sexual dominance or even equality. She would indeed show up in Xanna's room, but it would be to tell her that what had happened between them was just a one time thing and most definitely not going to be repeating itself. It sat ill with her to do so when she knew Xanna had been disappointed with her performance , but it would be even worse if she allowed herself to be pushed around into becoming the domineering woman's plaything.

What a mess this had turned out to be when all she'd been looking for had been a pleasant hour or two in bed with another woman.

Some hours later

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show, please sit." Xanna said languidly as she lounged on a chair in the room given to her. The words themselves were a lie though, she had known perfectly well that Diana would be coming for one reason or another.

"No thank you, I won't be staying long." Diana declined, not wanting to give even the slightest impression that she was here for another bout of sex.

That being said though, she was deeply uncomfortable with the situation. The sense of superiority exuding from the horned woman was more intense than ever, making her feel as if she should be subservient for some reason.

"How disappointing, I had hopes that you would get better eventually." Xanna said with a sigh, resting her head on her hand and crossing her legs in a tantalizing gesture.

Diana was strangely grateful for the casual slight...it angered her enough to keep her mind away from the overpowering sense of sexuality radiating from the beautiful red eyed woman.

"Be that as it may, I am here only to tell you that I have no wish to repeat what happened between us." She said firmly, keeping her pride in check instead of allowing herself to be goaded.

"Not even one last time?" Was the seductively purred response, accompanied by a lewd spreading of legs.

Diana turned away in both embarrassment and an effort to lessen her temptation. Her body was all but begging her to accept the offer and repeat the experience that had left her shaking like a leaf in a storm. If Xanna hadn't been so disturbingly domineering then she wouldn't have given it even a single thought before accepting, would have been glad for the chance to learn how to do the same even. Her pride would never allow her to be subservient to another though and she knew that Xanna would accept nothing but subservience. She didn't really blame the horned woman for it, since she was just being herself, but it wasn't something she wanted any part in.

"Not even that." She said firmly.

The hands that suddenly caressed her thighs revealed that Xanna had somehow managed to stand up and approach without the slightest sound.

"A pity, there was much I could have taught you about pleasuring a woman." The words were whispered into her ear suggestively even as a warm body pressed itself into her back.

"I was only looking for a one night stand." Diana said back as calmly as possible, using a phrase she'd heard during her stay in Man's World, though she failed to hide a slight hitch in her breathing as her body reacted to the touch.

At this point she stepped out of the other woman's hold, not wanting to be exposed to the temptation any further.

"So you used me to satisfy your own urges and now that you've done so, you're breaking things off?" Xanna questioned with a distinctly fake pouty tone in her voice.

"It isn't like that, I just don't want to continue having sex with you." Diana insisted.

"Not even if I told you that I know many other ways to give a woman pleasure beyond those you've already experienced? I would even teach you how to properly please a woman." Xanna whispered throatily, her voice full with the promise of unimaginable pleasures. She also took the opportunity to step closer and press herself up against the amazon again.

Diana held back a shudder, feeling herself getting moist just from the promise in those words. She wanted to give in so badly that it wasn't even funny and the warm body pushing against her wasn't helping matters.

"No, now let me go." She whispered. Despite everything else, she was sure that Xanna would respect her wish to stop if she could just hold on to her resolve.

At this point Xanna was officially impressed. The amazon princess had remarkable willpower to be capable of resisting such persistent seduction. With an internal sigh, she conceded that she would probably be eating her words about getting more pussy than Naruto, even if it had been a joke more than anything. She honestly hadn't expected the dark haired amazon to be capable of resisting her to this extent. Naruto had certainly never managed.

Then again, Naruto was a horndog with no reason to resist, so it was hardly a fair comparison.

Still, she would be damned if she would be letting the amazon get away from this comfortably. Oh no, her original intention was to make her uncomfortable and that was what was going to happen.

"Alright then, I will give you my final proposition and if you still do not want to continue, then I will respect your wishes and leave you be." Xanna stated casually.

"What proposition?" Diana asked warily, desperately locking her knees to keep her legs from shaking. She only needed to withstand this final temptation and then the persistent horned woman would let the matter drop. She was sure that she could do that much.

"This is something that I have never offered anyone before, just so you are aware of how far I am willing to go for you." Xanna whispered into her ear quietly.

The amazon's breath caught as Xannna's hand moved around so that it was caressed her rear end while the other fondled a breast.

"This is not something often offered to anyone aside from spouses in fact." Xanna continued to speak sensually as her thigh joined her hands in stimulating the amazon.

"What are you d-hnngh!" Diana's alarmed question was cut off when a finger was suddenly pushed just the slightest bit into her anal opening through her groin covering, causing her back to arch and making her gasp for air instinctively.

"I am showing you another form of pleasure Diana." The horned goddess spoke sensually and pushed her finger in just a bit deeper, drawing another breathless gasp from the amazon. Her actual finger couldn't really be pushed in there thanks to the cloth covering it, nor did Xanna really want to have one of her digits inside a mortal's anus, what with their unsightly need for waste disposal, but chakra had no such physical limitations.

How can this feel so good? Diana thought dazedly even as she desperately did her best to stay silent. She had always been under the impression that any playing around in that hole was supposed to be painful.

She was mostly right even. Most people were never able to get any enjoyment out of such things, but Xanna was once again cheating by stimulating the nerves with chakra.

"Just give in Diana, if you do then I will allow you to lick my asshole. It's very clean, I promise."

That was very true. It was, in fact, the cleanest asshole in existence since it had never been used before. Not for waste disposal at any rate. Xanna had no desire to perform such an unsightly act even though she liked eating, so she didn't allow her body to generate any waste. It had been one of the first things she'd taught Naruto how to do once he became a god. Gods shouldn't have to endure the indignity of such a thing.

The jarring crudeness that had just drifted into her ear was enough to snap the amazon out of the lusty haze she'd been placed in and she violently ripped herself out of the hold that the horned woman had on her.

"What?!" She squawked rather uncharacteristically, readjusting the cloth covering her groin.

"What's wrong?" Xanna asked, her quizzical tone sounding very convincing. "I'm offering you a great honor you know. I've come to like you so I've offered this to you, which I have never offered anyone before."

This was also true, she had never offered something like this to anyone before. Naruto had simply done it without asking for permission, the pervert.

"Why would anyone want to do that?!" Diana demanded incredulously, starting to get the distinct feeling that her decision to distance herself from Xanna in any kind of sexual way had been wiser than she'd known when she had made it.

"Why not?" Xanna once more asked in puzzlement with her head cocked. "It is a highly erotic act and many would give their right arm to be allowed to do it to me."

Alright, that was laying it on really thick, but the amazon was so off balanced by the seduction and then the strange offer that she probably would have believed that there were flying purple kittens farting rainbows just outside the window.

"So...would you like to?" She asked as she once more approached the dark haired woman

Diana opened her mouth to answer but was cut off by the speakers.

"All Justice League members prepare for deployment! Uzu has been sighted in Metropolis."

J'onn's announcement blared across the watchtower, interrupting what would have been Diana's refusal.

"Thank Hera." Diana exclaimed unthinkingly, grateful beyond words for an escape from the incredibly awkward situation. She tried to rush out the door only to get hit by something even Xanna hadn't foreseen.

Diana's legs buckled under the sudden quick movement, having still been a bit wobbly under the horned woman's ministrations. The amazon was also dismayed to feel a few wet trails going down her legs. The material of her groin covering was entirely non-absorbent, but that just meant that the visible signs of her arousal had nowhere else to go but out.

"Are you alright?" Xanna asked, suppressing any visible signs of her amusement at seeing the amazon princess so ruffled.

"I'm fine." Diana answered shortly, her face burning in embarrassment.

"You can use my bathroom for a quick shower if you'd like." Xanna offered.

Diana nodded her head and entered the bathroom for a very quick scrub, feeling inordinately grateful that the awkward situation was done with even if the conversation had been interrupted. That was probably going to leave some residual awkwardness, but it was at the very least over.

She really should have known that a people that looked so alien would have some very odd sexual practices, but she hadn't considered that in her relief at finding a woman that seemed to come from a society that was so similar to hers. She'd gotten her pride mauled and rather humiliatingly dominated, then she had very nearly gotten roped into some strange kind of anal play, but at least it was over and she'd know better next time.

Out of her sight, Xanna bit her lip to stifle her amusement. The unresolved conversation was likely going to be a constant source of low level discomfort for some time, but more amusing than that was Naruto's strangely perfect timing and Diana's horror struck face at the idea of licking her anus.

The next bit of entertainment was already lined up as Naruto messed with Metropolis, but she was getting eager for it to be over.

Hours before the announcement.

Naruto squatted invisibly on top of Lex Luthor's huge building and would have looked very much like some kind of long haired, blond gargoyle if anyone could have actually seen him.

He liked this spot, it was very scenic.

The owner of the building was doing something or other on his office computer, entirely unaware of the interloper. Naruto wasn't going to act against the criminal business man just yet, he was just using the building as a vantage point. Not that Luthor was going to get through the day without a visit from him, it just wasn't going to be right away.

Honestly, the man had just been in prison not very long ago and yet here he was, yet again back in his office doing whatever it was that greedy bald people do. How exactly was it justice if you could just buy your way out of prison?

But that was an issue for later, right now Naruto was looking for a very specific pussy. To be more accurate he was looking for the supervillainess that went by the name of 'Cheetah', though the intelligence he'd gathered cast some serious doubt on her being an actual villain.

Either way, he wanted to meet her, though he was going to keep a tighter leash on his sense of humor this time. The blundered joke with Selina was something he was still vaguely ashamed of, especially so considering his hatred of rapists. He had seriously gone too far there and it was fortunate that it had been so easy to resolve. Clearly, spending ten years secluded on an island with his wife hadn't done his social graces any favors.

Priscilla Rich, formerly a renowned geneticist and now more commonly known as the supervillainess Cheetah, was half-heartedly flipping channels on the TV in the slightly run down home she was living in, mostly just to waste time before nightfall. She knew that she'd have to go steal something again if she wanted to even keep the home hidden from scrutiny that would force her to abandon it, much less continue with her ever more hopeless efforts to reverse the change that had forced her into crime in the first place.

"Why the long face?" A deep, growling voice that was full of amusement asked out of nowhere.

Not that Cheetah noticed the tone, considering the fact that she was taken completely off guard and therefore reacted in a rather typical catlike fashion by yelping and rocketing into the air. Unfortunately, given her sitting position this caused her to tip over the armchair she had been sprawled in and crashing to the floor with a distinct lack of catlike grace.

She picked herself up instantly and backed away from the still unknown source of the voice, every instinct screaming at her that she was in terrible danger. When she finally caught sight of her mysterious visitor, she was inclined to agree with those instincts.

"Uzu." She said shakily, easily recognizing the rather distinctive features of the man that had made himself the personal boogeyman of many criminals within weeks of his first appearance.

"Priscilla." He said back with a grin, much amused by her pratfall. "I've been looking for you."

She didn't even bother wondering how he knew her real name, far more worried about the fact that he'd been searching for her.

"Pleased to meet you." He continued and approached her with his hand extended.

Much too frazzled to take note of the fact that the words were genuine and that the hand was extended in a friendly gesture, she once again reacted in a predictably catlike fashion by clawing at it.

What she didn't expect was for her claws to end up getting stuck in his incredibly tough skin instead of cutting it.

"Bad kitty, no tuna." He quipped, the grin widening at how catlike she was acting.

Scowling she pulled her claws out and backed away, warily watching the much taller man for any hostile moves, though she wasn't sure if she'd be able to do anything about it.

"Why are you here?" She asked as evenly as possible, starting to get a handle on her fear even though she still felt as if she was in the presence of some massive predator that could tear her to pieces by breathing too hard.

"There are several things I've wanted to ask you." Naruto said casually and put the armchair she'd flipped over back where it belonged.

"What kind of things?" She asked, feeling calmer with every passing moment. Despite the everpresent sense of proximity to an apex predator, it was starting to become obvious that he wasn't here to kill her.

"Well, I've been wondering what the deal was with you being a criminal. All the information I've managed to get on you seems to point at the idea that you're not exactly enthusiastic about it."

"What else am I supposed to do, looking like this?" She answered bitterly. "I used to be a scientist, one of the best geneticists in the world, but after my change I became an outcast, there wasn't exactly a lot I could do and I certainly wasn't going to join a circus so that people could gawk at me like I was some kind of freak."

Ah, the typical human rejection of anything out of the ordinary. Naruto mused, remembering the way that Jinchuuriki had been treated in the Elemental Nations.

"Didn't consider becoming a superhero? I hear that's all the rage after science accidents these days." He asked wryly.

"Yes that's exactly what I needed, to make enemies on top of everything else. Not to mention that being a superhero isn't a paying job." She retorted sarcastically, but settled down quickly once she recalled just who she was talking to.

"That it isn't." He agreed with a smirk.

Several moments of slightly awkward silence followed before Naruto spoke again.

"So...would you like me to try changing you back? I offered it to Poison Ivy, but she turned me down. You look like you'd want it though."

Her eyes snapped up to his and it took every bit of restraint she had to keep from demanding answers about his ability to do something like that or even agreeing on the spot.

Instead of that, she asked a wary question. "What's the catch?"

"Well, there are two things that I would ask you to do for me in exchange."

"What kind of things?" She asked even more warily, not liking the sound of it. She didn't believe for a moment that something like this wouldn't have a huge price tag attached to it.

"Nothing bad, I promise. I'd just like you to explain something to me if you can and one other minor thing." He answered honestly.

Biting her lip, Priscilla considered. Uzu seemed sincere enough, though he clearly didn't want to reveal what he wanted from her, which was a point of concern. What he considered minor could well be something that she really didn't want to do and she didn't know him well enough to judge whether he'd be the type to do something like that.

But she really wanted her life back and he had been friendly enough so far, so she decided to risk it. Once she was back to being fully human, there wasn't a whole lot that she could do for him anyway.

"Yes, I want to be normal again, if you think you can do it." She said, hiding her nervousness. "What do I have to do?"

"Just relax." He said soothingly and pressed his palm to her chest, his lips quirking when he felt her embarrassment at the touch.

Feeling out her life force, which was quite different from a regular human, he started pulling away the animal and reinforcing the human, finding it oddly ironic that the terrible life draining ability he'd developed long ago was now being used to help someone.

"It's done, you can open your eyes now." Naruto said and removed his hand.

Priscilla did so and started tearing up in relief when she saw pale pink flesh instead of spotted fur. Her balance also felt off and she reached behind her to make sure that the tail was gone. Running a hand over her head, she noted that she was bald but that was completely inconsequential in the face of the fact that she was fully human again.

"Would you like me to grow your hair back too?" He questioned when he saw her do that.

"Please." She confirmed with a happy nod.

This time placing his hand on her head, he stimulated hair growth until it reached to her shoulders in an unorganized mess that called for a serious trip to the hairdresser.

"Blond, should have known." He muttered with a sardonic grin.

She opened her mouth to ask what he was talking about when she suddenly became aware of the fact that she was naked, something which hadn't been a concern ever since her change into that cheetah hybrid.

Her face developed a blush and she covered herself awkwardly, his appreciative look not making her feel better in the slightest.

"Well, this is a perfect time for that minor thing I wanted to ask you to do."

Her heart sank at his words. It had been a concern that he would demand sex in payment for changing her back and she had considered it to be worth it, but it still made her feel dirty.

"A-alright." She stuttered nervously and removed her hands, hoping that he wouldn't be too rough at least.

"I want you to wear this T-shirt for me."

Blinking incredulously, she completely forgot to cover herself as she automatically took the large T-shirt and spread it so that she could read the caption.

Uzu sucked the pussy out of me!

She gaped at the bold and extra large caption, too stunned to even say anything.

"What do you think? It's awesome isn't it?" He asked with a huge grin at her reaction.

"This is what you want in exchange for giving me my life back? To wear a silly T-shirt for you?!" There was a vast amount of incredulity in her voice.

"What...did you think I was going to make you sleep with me? You're such a pervert kitten." He shook his head in mock sorrow, though the grin on his face ruined the effect.

Grumbling slightly, she put on the T-shirt, finding it to actually be very comfortable. It was also big enough to reach down to her thighs, which was exactly what she needed right now.

"You wouldn't happen to have any pants or underwear would you?" She asked jokingly.

"Ah nuts, I thought for sure that you wouldn't think of that." He grumbled good naturedly and passed her a lacy black thong and a pair of grey sweatpants.

"Where are you getting all these clothes?" She asked incredulously as she put them on, secretly relishing the feel of wearing clothing again. From what she could see, they were just appearing in his hands out of thin air.

"I'm imagining them into existence." He said mysteriously, wiggling his fingers to add to the effect.

Priscilla looked at him sceptically, but couldn't find it in her to argue. For all intents and purposes it did look like he was doing exactly that and it certainly wouldn't be the strangest thing she'd ever heard of.

"So, what did you want me to explain to you?" She asked as she sank back into the armchair, hugging her legs and marveling at how comfortable the clothes he'd given her were. She was definitely going to be using them as sleepwear from now on. Aside from the comfort, they would also be a pleasant memory of how she got her humanity back. Even the T-shirt caption didn't bother her and it was technically true...terribly misleading though.

"This is something that's been bothering me ever since I came to this world and I couldn't find any explanation for it, so I figured that a geneticist might know." He started ominously. There had been geneticists back in the Elemental Nations, but all of them were medic-nin and they'd been exclusively focused on bloodlines.

She gestured for him to continue and listened attentively.

"Why aren't there any superheroes or villains with brown hair?"

"What?" Priscilla asked, utterly baffled at the strange question.

"Just look at everyone that's calling themselves super something or other. Pretty much every male has hair that's either completely black or in rare cases blond if they aren't bald. Most of the women have hair that's some variation of red or blond or the rarer black. Mind you, this is disregarding those whose hair is some completely other weird color like blue or green."

Priscilla continued to look utterly baffled, so Naruto continued speaking.

"Look at us for example. You're blond and I'm blond. In fact, my hair is the sexiest shade of blond that the world will ever see which is directly proportional to my being the sexiest and most badass guy that the world will ever see. Is there some kind of connection between awesome hair color and level of badass or something? Brown is by far the most common hair color and I've yet to see a single brown haired super anything. Which is why I want to know if there is something about brown hair that prevents people from gaining super powers? Is it just too boring for the universe to deign gracing a brown haired person with some awesome, because if that's the case then the universe is an asshole."

"While you make a good point, I think it's just coincidence." She answered slowly once she'd gotten her wits about her at the strange question.

"So you're telling me that nothing but pure chance dictated that nobody with the most common hair color in existence ever got super powers?" He asked sceptically.

"I guess?" She answered with deep uncertainty, knowing exactly how unlikely that was.

"You can't explain it can you?"

"Not in the slightest." She admitted with a chuckle.

They shared a moment of silence before Naruto abruptly stood up.

"Well, this has been fun, but I've got places to go and people to kill."

"Wait!" She said and quickly got to her feet as well, not wanting him to vanish yet.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at her and she gave him a hug, making him return it with a grin. He always liked hugging girls.

"Thank you, for everything." She said with feeling, squeezing tightly.

"You're lucky that you're a cute girl, if you were a man I'd have just told you to suck it up and stop whining." He admitted wryly.

The words caused her to laugh helplessly into his chest. She could quite easily imagine him doing something like that. It did give her an idea though.

Naruto was surprised when she suddenly jumped further up into his arms, forcing him to catch her when she clamped her legs around his waist, but he didn't resist when she kissed him. He also took the chance to grope her ass.

"Well, I'm glad that you came along to help me." She said and slid back down to the floor, not at all offended by the groping. After all that he'd done for her, he was more than welcome to it. Ironically, the fact that he hadn't demanded that she sleep with him was one of the major reasons why she felt so comfortable letting him do that.

"No problem, but I've just realised that you need one other thing."

"What?"

Instead of answering he handed her a pair of socks and sneakers. "You're not a kitty cat anymore, so you might need these."

"Thank you...again." She said ruefully, having honestly forgotten about that. It had been so long since she'd last worn clothes or shoes.

"And since I'm handing out presents, have these too as an apology for scaring you." He said again and made her cup her hands, after which a not inconsiderable amount of diamonds filled them.

"Diamonds?! Where did you get these?" She blurted out incredulously.

Naruto merely wiggled his fingers at her again.

Inwardly, he wondered if he'd end up lowering the market price of diamonds if he kept on spawning them like this. Girls sure did like their shinies in this dimension.

"Right, imagined them into existence, how silly of me." She said with a sigh. She should have seen that one coming.

Hours later, shortly before the Justice League receives the alarm.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow in amusement at Lex Luthor, who was still working at his desk and looked as if he hadn't left in the hours since Naruto had been lurking on his roof.

He'd spent the last few hours hunting down the other supervillains that hung around the city and killing most of them. He'd left that gorilla looking guy calling himself the Ultra-Humanite alone, seeing as the man seemed more interested in listening to opera than anything else. Aside from occasionally stealing loads of money, he often ended up actually helping the heroes despite supposedly being a bad guy and since Naruto didn't care about money he left him alive.

The most disappointing of the bunch had been that lightning chick Livewire. At first glance it seemed like the woman was bitter about her lightning body not allowing any kind of human contact but on closer inspection, she was just bitter as a person and without any good reason for it to boot. Originally he'd been intending to seduce her, mostly out of idle curiousity about what it would be like to have sex with a lightning bolt than any real attraction to her, and then offer to turn her back to being fully human.

That plan had gone firmly out the window when she'd attacked him without any real provocation. He didn't have any problems deflecting or blocking her lightning attacks and had tried to reason with her, but the spiteful woman had just kept on attacking, apparently just for the sake of being able to use her powers. Eventually he'd been forced to admit that she was just as bad as many other of the more psychotic supervillains, at which point he'd soaked her in water and broken her neck.

He did have to slightly revise his opinion on brown haired people with super powers however, as that Metallo guy had brown hair. He was still just one guy among many though, so it didn't have much impact.

And now here he was, sitting on Lex Luthor's couch, a Genjutsu making sure that the bald man didn't pay any attention to him. He had to admit that it was a very nice office. It had comfortable, tasteful furniture and a great view of the city, but it was most certainly not a place that he'd want to spend his day in.

"You need to go out and get yourself a woman Lexy, sulking in this office can't be good for you." He said out of the blue and changed the Genjutsu so that it shrouded him in darkness instead of completely hiding him.

Predictably, the criminal business man surged to his feet in surprise and grabbed a gun that he had hidden under his desk.

"Who are you? How did you get in here?" He demanded, pointing the gun at the dark figure sitting on his couch.

"I'm sure you've heard of me by now." Naruto said and removed the shroud completely.

"Uzu." Luthor stated flatly and without any apparent fear as he repeated his previous question. "How did you get in here?"

Naruto gave the bald man a shit eating grin. "Fuck you, that's how."

Luthor scowled but didn't otherwise react as he put away the gun. He doubted that it would be of any use if the complete disregard that the horned man was giving it was any clue. "Why are you here?"

"The question is, why are you here?" Naruto countered.

"This is my office." Lex deadpanned.

"Yes it is, but that's hardly a good reason to be in it, especially since you aren't even bothering to have an affair with your secretary."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Lex demanded, both irritated and confused.

"I'm just wondering why you're wasting time typing away at your computer and thinking up plans to screw over Superman instead of enjoying your life."

"I have better things to do than fool around."

"No, you had better things to do, according to yourself anyway." Naruto said and got to his feet, drawing the Kusanagi right after. "Since I'm about to kill you, you definitely won't have anything better to do anymore."

"Wait a minute, there's no need for that. I'm sure we can come to an agreement." Luthor said in alarm and backed away.

"Eh? What agreement do you think we could come to?" Naruto asked in amusement, stopping his advance.

"I can pay you." The business man hedged, hoping to appeal to the horned man's greed.

Naruto appeared to give it serious consideration before he nodded and named his price. "Alright, if you pay me five hundred trillion dollars, I'll let you live."

Luthor spluttered at the ridiculous figure. "Are you insane? Even if you put together all the money in the world you wouldn't even get close to that amount."

"Well, I have always been known as a person of questionable sanity by my friends." Naruto responded brightly, apparently proud of this fact.

A bead of nervous sweat worked it's way down Luthor's bald head, seeing that money wouldn't get him out of this one and grasping at straws for anything else that might save him. "Maybe I can offer you something else?"

"Do tell." Naruto said casually, using his sword to gesture the man to continue. Coincidentally this did not make Luthor any less nervous.

"I know that the Justice League is looking for you, I can give you something that will let you neutralize Superman at least." Lex hurried to say and went to get the chunk of kryptonite that he always had hidden nearby. "Here, this kryptonite crystal will make him weak as a kitten if he comes near it."

Naruto took the glowing hunk of rock and looked at it closely, even sniffing it much to Luthor's puzzlement. "Shiny."

After that he promptly tossed it into his mouth, crushed it between his fangs and spat out the remains. "Needs some seasoning though."

Luthor stared at the horned blond in shock, distantly wondering what kind of insane jaw strength and tooth hardness he must have to do something like that.

Naruto grinned at the stunned lock on the bald man's face. "Well then, if you have nothing else to offer, I guess it's time to get to the killing."

"Wait! Just tell me what you want and I'll get it for you." Luthor said desperately. He wasn't a coward, but he didn't want to die either.

"Could you convince your mother to have sex with me on top of this building?" The blond asked seriously.

"...My mother is dead." Lex said slowly.

"So?"

"I can't convince her to have sex with you if she's dead." Lex said, once again slowly, hardly able to believe that he was having this conversation.

"But you would do it if she was alive?" Naruto asked seriously again.

"Yes?" The business man answered uncertainly, unsure if that was the right answer.

"You're a sick pervert Lexy, your parents must have regretted ever fertilizing you." Naruto shook his head in sorrow.

Lex would have pulled his hair out in frustration if he had any. He was being called a pervert by a man that wanted to sleep with his mother on top of a skyscraper and seemed to consider death only a minor inconvenience in this pursuit. Of course, his frustration was curtailed by the fact that this man clearly intended to kill him and was toying with him much like a cat would toy with a mouse.

Any further thought was interrupted by a sword through the heart. "Time's up Lexy."

The last thing Lex Luthor heard before everything went dark made only served to confuse him.

"Lexy, or maybe LeXXXy...that would have made a good stripper name if you were a girl...shit, now I've got mental images of a bald woman doing a striptease, not that there's anything wrong with bald women..."

Naruto casually walked out of Luthor's office, wiping down the Kusanagi with the curtains that he'd torn from the windows, and approached the secretary's desk.

"Good evening, I just wanted to inform you that there's a dead body bleeding on the carpets in there."

The secretary took one look at the towering horned man with slitted gold-orange eyes and a fanged grin as he wiped blood from the long sword in his hands and predictably ran away screaming for security.

"I was just trying to be helpful..." Naruto said with a mournful sigh, though his grin ruined the effect.

It didn't take more than a minute for security to arrive, which prompted Naruto to comment to himself again. "Now that's one hell of a fast response."

"Put the sword down and get on your knees with your hands behind your head!" The apparent leader of the three man team commanded.

"The only time I get on my knees is during sex and you're the completely wrong gender if you're trying to tempt me with a foursome." Naruto shot back flippantly.

"Do as I said or we'll open fire!" The man commanded again, ignoring the jibe.

Naruto sheathed the Kusanagi, spread his arms wide and spoke challengingly to the man. "Fire away."

The security team didn't waste time firing their pistols but were greatly dismayed to see the bullets bouncing off the horned man's skin ineffectually.

Several bullets struck Naruto's lower abdomen, causing him to bend over reflexively and giggle. "Shit, sometimes it really sucks being ticklish."

"Crap, he's one of those freaks that can't be hurt by bullets." The security team leader swore. "Fall back, let the Justice League deal with him, we don't get paid enough for this."

Their boss might not like the Justice League, but he was dead and they'd already seen the uselessness of their guns.

While the security team turned tail and ran, Naruto stood there and looked at their retreating backs with a frown, muttering to himself. "There's no need to call me a freak just because you're jealous, you bunch of brown haired sissies."

The assorted members of the Justice League thought that they might have some trouble locating Uzu in a city the size of Metropolis, especially since the man had already proven himself highly capable in stealth.

They were wrong.

"Is he seriously waving at us from the top of the tallest building in the city?" Flash asked incredulously as they spotted the bright blond mane on top of Lex Luthor's corporate tower from the Javelin.

"He's mocking us." Green Lantern stated with a scowl.

"Don't underestimate him, he's smarter than he pretends to be." Batman cautioned, receiving firm nods from everyone.

"I doubt he's going to stay up there if we all go after him. I'll confront him while the rest of you spread out in case he tries to bolt." Superman said.

"I'm going with you, Xanna cautioned us that he has many supernatural powers at his command, so he may well be able to harm you." Wonder Woman stated firmly.

"Fine." Superman conceded, seeing that the amazon wouldn't budge on this.

Their course of action decided, all the Justice Leaguers capable of self sustained flight exited the Javelin, with Lantern grabbing hold of Flash and carrying him out. Batman remained in the small spacecraft, knowing that he couldn't fight someone that powerful in hand to hand without some kind of equalizer.

Soon after, Superman and Wonder Woman were floating in the air in front of the horned blond.

"Uzu." Superman stated as some form of neutral greeting.

"Ah, Captain Underpants and Thunder Tits, did you come up here to admire the view with me?" Naruto asked with a mocking smirk.

Neither of the two heroes reacted to the insulting nicknames, keeping in mind Batman's warning about underestimating him.

"We're here to bring you in to answer for your crimes."

"That's going to be a problem." Naruto observed mildly. "I don't really think that I've committed any crimes and even if I had, I wouldn't be interested in answering for them."

Wonder Woman opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted when Naruto took a deep breath through the nose and turned towards Diana.

"Oh, You have something of mine I see, or rather someone. Her scent is all over you."

"Xanna does not belong to you." Wonder Woman stated coldly, despite her discomfort at the way that Uzu had apparently been able to sniff out at least some of what had gone on between them.

"But she does." Naruto insisted. She had said so herself at their marriage!

"We will never allow you to fulfill your designs on her." Diana asserted, speaking for the entirety of the Justice League. The situation between her and Xanna might be awkward and complicated, but it had no bearing on protecting her.

Naruto simply shrugged. It wasn't his problem if they didn't believe him. "Well then, I guess we have nothing more to say to each other."

Upon saying that, he launched himself across the Metropolis skyline at immense speed, using the tall buildings to bounce around like a pinball.

The Justice League wasted no time in giving pursuit, but were unfortunately becoming scattered due to their differing speeds.

Flash was the fastest of them, but he was earth bound, making it much harder to follow the swift moving blond.

Batman could use the sensors of the Javelin to keep better track of him than the others, but he was the least maneuverable. Keeping this in mind, he stayed higher and fed the others intelligence about Uzu's movements.

Green Lantern and Hawkgirl were the slowest flyers and thus reduced to following the others.

Wonder Woman was pretty fast, but she had no good way to keep track of her quarry when he bounced around a corner.

Superman was even faster than her and he could use his X-ray vision to keep track of Uzu better, but he needed to slow down when turning around corners or else risk smashing right through them.

J'onn was in fact the best suited for pursuit in this situation, his intangibility allowing him to keep a direct line of pursuit. He still couldn't use his telepathy to track Uzu, but he could feel the wave of shock and surprise felt by the humans who saw the horned blond pass by them.

"He's toying with us! He's staying in the same area, but his movements are so random and abrupt that we can't pin him down." Lantern spat over their radio connection irritably.

It was a true observation. Uzu was bouncing around the buildings and sometimes through open windows in a display of impressive acrobatics and incredible situational awareness. It was also clear that he could somehow sense their presences if his ability to always keep ahead of them in this bizzare game of tag was any indication. All of the Justice League was also severely confused by the fact that Uzu was somehow not breaking every surface that he pushed himself away from, not even the glass windows, despite the obvious force with which he was doing so.

"I will cut him off, I know where he will go next." J'onn said stoically.

"Be careful." Superman cautioned, knowing that no one was in a position to back the martian up in time. They were all positioned so that they could cover any sudden changes in direction.

J'onn gave no verbal reply as he flew into position. Just in time as well, as the horned man came into view immediately after, rocketing towards him at immense speed with clear intent to attack.

J'onn phased himself into intangibility, intending to allow Uzu to pass through him and then grab onto him from behind. It would need very good timing considering the speed at which Uzu was moving, but J'onn was confident that he could do it.

That plan was ruined when a fist plowed heavily into his supposedly intangible face, causing the Martian's head to suddenly feel very fuzzy. Just before he had the back of it smashed into a building with enough force to knock him out, he heard Uzu say something that he wouldn't be able to remember later.

"If that trick didn't work for Obito eleven years ago, then it sure as hell isn't going to work for you now."

"J'onn is down, I repeat, J'onn is down!" Batman called urgently over the radio.

"I've got him." Flash reported, having sped over to catch the falling martian before he could injure himself any further by falling to the hard ground.

"How could that happen? Was J'onn off on the timing of his intangibility?" Hawkgirl demanded.

"No, Uzu negated it somehow." Batman answered grimly.

Naruto smirked to himself in amusement as he eavesdropped on their conversation. Negating that kind of space-time manipulation had long since become a trivial task even without the use of specially prepared Fuinjutsu.

Their brief distraction had been enough for him to vanish from the sight of his pursuers, including the sensors on their spacecraft and now he was already eyeballing his next victim.

The winged woman was an interesting one to be sure. Naruto's ever growing ability to peer into things that happened after death allowed him to sense that her soul was trapped into some kind of artificial cycle of reincarnation. It's hold on her was strong enough that it was distinctly possible that she could retain at least partial memory of these past lives.

That was just a curiousity though, right now he was going for irony.

Stealthily, he leaped at her and snatched her out of the air, covering her mouth to prevent any screaming from giving away their position.

By the time that the nearby Green Lantern turned around, They had both already vanished through an open window of a nearby skyscraper. It seemed to be largely empty, which was probably mostly due to the fact that it was slowly getting dark...well that and the super powered game of tag that none of the normal people wanted to get caught in.

Shayera tried to struggle but chains had pinned her arms almost as soon as she realised her danger, leaving her quite helpless. She did manage to activate her mace though and was heartened to see the chains breaking apart under its disruptive power.

"Arara, now that's a dangerous mace you've got there." Naruto commented in amusement and had more chains bind her, this time avoiding the mace. He also took the opportunity to take her earpiece and crushed it.

Shayera was obviously unable to reply because of the hand covering her mouth, but she did glare quite ferociously.

Naruto paid the nasty look no heed as he swiftly carried the winged woman deeper into the building until she was out of sight of the outside. The others would be coming after them very soon and he needed to hurry.

Wasting no time, he moulded his chakra into a trick that he'd seen done only once back in the Elemental Nations and even then only in passing. It had been interesting enough that he'd put in some effort to learn it recently. He'd actually learned how to do it just because Hawkgirl had wings and it appealed to his sense of irony.

Thickly woven spider webbing erupted from his fingers and stuck to every surface to form a crude spider web, after which he threw the winged woman back first into the sticky substance.

"Now don't you just look delicious hanging there little fly, it makes me wish I had time to play with you." He told her with a grin, gave a lusty growl and clacked his teeth at her like one of those wind up toy jaws he'd seen the other day.

He'd never do it of course(unless she wanted him to), but he was setting himself up to be the bad guy here.

"You're disgusting." She spat angrily and struggled ineffectually against the super strong web.

"And you're cute, what's your point?" He shot back, much to her confusion.

Not giving her a chance to reply, he ran back towards the windows at great speed and launched himself into a flying kick just in time to plow into Superman's face, sending the so called Man of Steel flying back towards the other side of the street, though he managed to catch himself in the air before he slammed into any buildings.

He also left an invisible clone in the building to keep spraying webbing everywhere.

Not giving him time to react, he smashed into the man again and kicked him well away from the building where Hawkgirl was trapped.

"You can fly?" Clark asked, startled to see the horned man hovering in the air. With the way that the man had been jumping around, they'd all figured that he couldn't.

Naruto looked down at his feet with a comically shocked look and started plummeting like a brick, causing Superman to instinctively attempt catching him only to receive another fist to the face.

"I can't believe you actually fell for that, are you seriously that gullible?!" Naruto asked with incredulity while the kryptonian rubbed his jaw. Uzu's hits were nothing to sneeze at.

"Crap. Guys, me and Hawkgirl are stuck in some kind of spider webbing that Uzu created. We need someone to cut us out." Flash spoke over the radio, easily audible to Naruto as well as the Justice League.

Naruto grinned in amusement at the speedy one's predicament. He hadn't expected that anyone would just run right into the webbing. He'd left the clone there with the expectation that he would need to throw any more victims in there himself.

Superman made to go and cut out his comrades, but Naruto wasn't going to let that happen so easily and intercepted him with a much stronger kick than the ones before, making the kryptonian give a pained shout as he was sent blasting off into the distance.

Naruto wasn't worried about causing the guy any serious injury. He hadn't felt any ribs break under that hit despite flooding the first of the Eight Gates with chakra to empower himself to five times his normal strength.

Ever since eating the Chakra Fruit, he had all eight of the gates permanently open, but he could choose how much chakra to run through them. It was a far superior way to power up as compared to the uncontrolled power boost it had given him when he'd still been mortal. He hadn't tried it, but he felt that he could quite comfortably shatter planets if he used all eight gates to their fullest potential, but so far that single gate just now had been the biggest power up that he'd ever used.

It demonstrated that Superman definitely had impressive durability and was no doubt holding back a lot of power in most of his fights. It also showed that the man was kind of an idiot and far too prone to taking hits because he was so used to being invulnerable.

Spying the Green Lantern guy going towards the two webbed heroes, presumably to free them, Naruto propelled himself at the man, releasing a warcry with the specific intent of warning the man of his approach.

The man reacted instinctively and raised a green barrier to block his attack. It shuddered under the impact but held. Naruto was impressed. He'd powered down the first gate by now, but that hadn't been a light hit by any measure. He smashed his fist into it twice more, seeing the strain on the Green Lantern's face becoming greater with every blow.

Interesting, a ring that allowed its wearer to construct hard light objects sustained by their will. As long as the Lantern's will remained greater than the force behind his blows, the shield would hold.

Naruto had no more time to experiment with the interesting looking toy due to Wonder Woman attacking him. She smashed him right in the jaw, sending him flying a short distance away, but he was clearly uninjured if the grin on his face was any judge.

"I love it rough, how about you Thunder Tits?" He asked mockingly, knowing that it would remind her about her experience of being made Xanna's bitch. He'd actually let her hit him exactly for that reason.

Diana's face didn't betray the fact that she was indeed reminded of that. "Go free Hawkgirl and Flash, I will hold him off." She said to Lantern, never taking her eyes away from the horned blond.

"Not gonna happen." Naruto said mockingly and aimed a hand at the building where the two were trapped. "Kokuangyo no Jutsu(Bringer-of-Darkness Technique)."

The building became shrouded in darkness instantly and the radio echoed with exclamations about it from Flash.

Flying away from another attack by Wonder Woman, Naruto set down on a building with a flat roof, intending to have himself a little duel with the amazon while Lantern lost himself in the artificial darkness of the Genjutsu he'd cast earlier.

A short time later, Lantern also said something to the effect of being unable to pierce the darkness before the clone webbed him and knocked him out.

His desire for a duel with the amazon was curtailed by the return of Superman who set down next to Wonder Woman and prepared to fight him alongside her.

Naruto frowned in disapproval. He didn't want to fight both of them at once just yet. With this in mind, he leaped off the building, intending to once again vanish until he could take one of them out and fight the other alone. He rather unexpectedly felt himself getting shot in the back and knocked out of the sky by what he guessed was the laser canon of their small spacecraft as it was fired expertly by Batman.

He'd felt the bat themed hero's constant hostility towards him and dismissed it as irrelevant since the man had no means to actually act on it. Or so he had thought.

Shooting him in the back with a laser canon with no idea if he'd survive or not? That was impressively vicious for this gathering of pansies and he felt his respect for the grim hero go up a notch. Clearly he'd taken note of the systematic destruction of his team and decided that the chance of killing him was an acceptable risk in the situation.

Not that it did anything more than singe his hair and even that was fixed up soon enough, leaving the golden mane as shiny as ever. The first time he'd encountered the bat and his sidekicks, he'd been keeping his power and durability at a considerably lower level than it was now. Still, it was the first decent hit that they'd scored on him, for which he had to give due credit.

"He's set us up, we've been playing by his rules and he took us apart one by one. Don't let him separate you." Batman cautioned over the radio.

Naruto once again frowned at the advice that the bat gave to his comrades. That was the exact opposite of what he wanted.

With a sudden movement that allowed him no chance to react, Naruto aimed two fingers at Superman and shot a fork of lightning at him, causing the man to scream as the chakra based lightning bypassed his usual damage resistance and truly hurt him.

His attack was blocked when Diana interposed her bracers in the path of the lightning, drawing it to the metal objects and dissipating it harmlessly with their protective properties. Still, Superman was looking kind of extra crispy and wouldn't be an issue until his healing factor could repair the damage.

Wonder Woman looked furious and instantly chased after him as he leaped to another building, not even caring as he used magnetism to remove her earpiece and destroy it.

There was no time for amusing banter as the amazon threw herself at him with a flurry of attacks that showed clear martial arts training. Naruto had no trouble keeping up though, as she was still lacking something crucial despite her training. All of her movements were well executed, but she showed none of the improvisation or viciousness that could only be learned through life and death battle where any blunders could get you killed.

After a couple of minutes of Naruto easily evading or blocking her blows, she put too much force into one of her punches and the horned blond decided to take the opening for a change. He redirected her fist even further off course and then gave her shoulder a shove that sent her crashing over the edge of the building.

"You need a lot more practice in serious combat before fighting me in hand to hand." He commented idly. "Or maybe you're more of a lover than a fighter judging by how heavy Xanna's smell is on you."

Wonder Woman scowled at him angrily and tossed her lasso towards him.

Naruto allowed it to snare him, feeling curious about the glowing golden rope. The instant it was around him, he felt it's powers of truth compulsion working on him, which was worrisome if the amazon decided to ask any questions that would cause him to give up the game. Being stronger than the gods that created it, he was confident that he could overpower the compulsion if he wanted to, but that would almost certainly also reveal that he was lying, which would give up the game the same as the truth.

With this in mind, he strained against the rope mightily and felt rather shocked when it wouldn't give no matter how much he increased his strength. Clearly this rope was something that couldn't be broken by brute force, no matter how much of it was applied. Impressive. That could only mean that its strength was linked to its ability to force the truth out of people rather than anything physical.

"What have you done to the building in which Hawkgirl and Flash are trapped." Diana demanded.

"I placed an illusion over it that would blind anyone entering it." Naruto answered honestly.

"What do you intend to do after gaining Xanna's necklace?" The amazon demanded next, wanting to get some insight into his motivations.

"I intend to fuck her into next week." Naruto answered honestly, smirking. The rope might not let him outright lie, but it was entirely possible to tell the truth and allow whoever heard it to draw incorrect conclusions. This could actually be fun and he'd already figured out several ways to escape in case he didn't want to answer something.

Diana recoiled at the crude answer, but pressed on. "She said that you needed to kill her in order to gain the magatama necklace and the Yatta Mirror."

"That's not the only way." Very true. He could make his own or he could just take her necklace without killing her or he could even ask her to give it to him, useless prop that it was. Of course, he could theoretically kill her before taking the necklace, but it would be by far the hardest option and probably require so much effort as to be nigh impossible.

"And she's far too beautiful to kill." Yet again very true, according to himself.

"You're sick." Diana said with a nauseated look on her face.

"I'd also like to fuck you from behind while making you eat my cum out of Xanna''s pussy in case you wanted to know." Naruto offered helpfully, taking full advantage of the fact that everything he said at the moment would be believed unquestioningly to air some perversions.

The amazon looked even more disgusted and deliberately tightened the rope painfully.

"So rough, people might think you're a sadist. Did you spank Xanna when you slept with her?" He knew that she wasn't a sadist, but people really might wonder if they saw this without knowing better. The second was neither a truth nor a lie, so he could say it with impunity.

"Be silent." She snarled angrily, her patience snapping under the weight of his provocation.

Naruto smirked and used some space-time manipulation to reverse their positions, leaving Diana bound in her own lasso and Naruto holding on to the other end.

"What color panties are you wearing?"

"I'm not wearing anything under my armor." Diana looked instantly horrified as the truth spilled out of her mouth against her will.

"On a scale of one to ten, how physically attractive do you find me?" He had to ask physically, as he was quite sure that he was a minus twelve in terms of personality because she thought he was all sorts of evil at the moment.

"Six."

Naruto grasped at his heart and adopted a stricken expression at the number. "Congratulations, this is the worst that I've been hurt in this battle so far. You got me right in the ego."

Not giving her a chance to reply, he yanked on the lasso and sent the amazon crashing right into the impenetrable darkness sustained by the illusion on the nearby building. She wasn't going to be making it out of there anytime soon thanks to his clone and she was sturdy enough that the impact wouldn't harm her.

Turning around, he aimed a smirk at the mostly recovered Superman that was now coming right at him. Contrary to his expectation, the kryptonian didn't stop to plant his feet on the ground, instead smashing right into him without stopping.

Clearly, Batman had told him about how durable he was, allowing him to fight with less restraint.

But Naruto was still sorely disappointed by the Man of Steel and his fighting ability. He fought like a berserker...only without the actual berserking. He didn't use his feet at all and every punch was telegraphed. Clearly this was someone used to simply overpowering his opponents because of his superior physiology. Naruto was actually kind of reminded of himself at the beginning of his shinobi career, back before he'd stolen Hashirama's fighting ability when he'd been mostly brawn and some clever tricks.

Getting bored of the mid air battle, he used one of Superman's fists as a handhold to swing himself around and smash him into the street below. Near instantly, Batman took the opportunity to fire the laser canon at him again now that there was nothing behind him in case he missed.

Naruto was ready for it this time though and used a Red Yang Barrier to deflect it upwards, after which he blew the Javelin away with a massively powerful wind.

Superman had just about dug himself out of the hole he'd been smashed into when Naruto's bare feet gently set down on the road and he commented to his opponent bluntly.

"Your fighting technique sucks, you should take lessons."

"I might do that later, but for now it'll be enough to take you down." Clark said confidently and prepared his heat vision, feeling sure that the horned man wouldn't be killed by it.

Naruto extended his hand and created a localized space-time distortion to catch the twin beams and absorb them. "You'll never accomplish anything if you don't attack me with intent to kill."

Of course, he very much doubted the entire Justice League would accomplish anything even if they did attack him with intent to kill, but that was besides the point. He wanted to see just how much Superman was holding back.

Seeing that his opponent was about to make some comment about his refusal to kill or something equally pithy, Naruto launched the trapped energy of the man's own heat vision back at him in the shape of a concentrated ball, sending the kryptonian crashing ass over teakettle down the street.

"Learn to dodge or at least block you moron, invulnerability is not a good reason to give the enemy free hits." He shouted after the red caped man, feeling strangely irritated by his idiotic combat doctrine. He was well aware of how hypocritical it was for him to be saying that considering his own former berserker tactics, but he didn't much care.

Superman didn't take too long to pick himself up since he wasn't really hurt by his own attack, but he did make a note not to try using the heat vision again. Deciding to use another power, he took a deep breath and exhaled his frost breath at the blond.

Naruto posed so that his hair and haori were blown around dramatically even though everything around him was covered in frost. "What a refreshing breeze! All this fighting was getting me terribly hot and bothered, so I thank you for cooling me off."

Superman's expression tightened in poorly concealed frustration. It had become obvious by now that he was being played with and baited. Uzu could have blasted him with lightning again already and ended it. In fact, he could have slaughtered the entire Justice league, but he'd left them all alive so far. Judging by his behavior during this entire time, he was feeling them out.

Naruto got bored of waiting for the kryptonian to make a move and attacked him in hand to hand, finding it pathetically easy to dominate the fight.

"Come on, put some effort into it you wimp! Or should I go after that cute cousin of yours next? Kara was it? I'm sure she'd be more fun than you." Naruto taunted, grinning when Superman's expression darkened and he started fighting more viciously.

His technique still sucked though and he did nothing but throw predictable punches, so it was easy to land a kick to the side of his knee and make his leg collapse to force him down on one knee. Before Superman had a chance to get back on his feet, a punch thundered into his jaw from above and smashed him into the ground.

Naruto sighed while the red caped man picked himself up again. It was beyond obvious that the kryptonian had never truly needed to develop any real fighting ability because he was so ridiculously powerful compared to everyone else he'd ever encountered and now it was coming to bite him in the ass.

"Man, I think I really will go and get your cousin if this keeps up, you're so boring."

Naruto was surprised by the speed at which the kryptonian smashed into him after he said that. He even ended up taking some pretty damn powerful punches! Of course the minor damage he suffered regenerated instantly and it was easy to retake control of the fight, but progress!

"I wonder, are you proud of what you do? Catching these criminals only to have them loose again soon after? Why do you even bother if you aren't going to put them down?" Naruto asked curiously as he fended off the red caped man's attack.

"I just catch them, it's not my place to decide their punishment." Clark stated firmly as he continued attacking to no effect.

Naruto frowned as the kryptonian's strength and speed diminished again. Seriously, take his mind away from his anger and he seemed to subconsciously hold back.

"How heartless of you. Did you know that there were enough murderers, rapists and pedophiles in Gotham to paint this entire block crimson before I got there? I wonder how many are in this city, walking free because they don't need to fear anything from you."

"You're the last person that has any right to pass judgement considering how many you've killed and the way you've been speaking to Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl makes you out to be a rapist yourself." Superman shot back angrily.

Naruto grinned viciously and grabbed both of Superman's hands to force a contest of strength. "Maybe I am, just imagine what I'll do to your cousin once I get my hands on her."

Superman growled and Naruto quickly felt his strength growing as anger overrode his usual restraint. He increased his own strength to match and continued provoking the kryptonian.

"I bet she smells nice."

"I wonder if the females of your species have maiden barriers?"

"Do you think she's a screamer?"

With every taunt, Superman kept growing more angry and exerting more force. By the time of Naruto's third sentence, he needed to have the third gate at nearly full capacity to match him, which was nothing to sneeze at.

"Stay away from my cousin!" Clark growled furiously, his eyes glowing red and clearly about to fire his heat vision right into Naruto's head.

"Are you going to cut my head off tough guy?" Naruto asked mockingly, trying to provoke him into doing exactly that. He wasn't sure if those eye lasers would even be able to singe his neck at this point, but it would be funny no matter what happened.

Contrary to what Naruto had intended, the taunt caused Superman to falter, realising just how close he was to intentionally killing someone. His strength started diminishing as he got control over his anger and that subconscious restraint came back.

Naruto scowled deeply, starting to get very pissed off with the kryptonian. Here he was, threatening to rape the man's cousin and he was still holding back and unwilling to kill him? The fact that Supergirl was more likely to get a hug and all the help she wanted from him instead of being harmed was immaterial right now. He was threatening what was in essence the man's little sister with rape and he damn well expected to be turned into a bloody smear for it.

Naruto took the matter of little sisters very seriously.

Without warning he tugged on Superman's arms and surged forward simultaneously, sinking his fangs into the kryptonian's shoulder in a spray of blood. Superman screamed in pain at the unexpected injury and stumbled away, holding a hand to his bleeding shoulder.

Naruto bared his bloody teeth at the man and snarled viciously. Inwardly though, he was slightly confused as to why it had been so easy to bite through the man's skin. At least, he was confused until he remembered chewing on that hunk of kryptonite that Lex had tried to bribe him with. Some residue must have stayed on his teeth.

Not giving him any chance to recover, Naruto formed the black shakujo and started beating the crap out of Superman with it.

"What kind...of big brother...are you...if you aren't...even willing...to kill...for your...little sister!"

With every pause in his speech he slammed the chakra construct into the kryptonian. As far as Superman's durability was concerned that staff was a magical construct or something very close to it and was therefore highly effective. By the end of the sentence Superman was looking like...well, like a man that had gotten the shit beaten out of him with a staff.

Naruto arched an eyebrow at the beaten lump of kryptonian trying to get back on his feet, feeling perfectly justified in administering that beating.

"Superman!" A concerned female voice called in worry, causing Naruto to look upwards.

Seeing a blond girl in her late teens flying at him with clear intent to attack, Naruto easily recognized Supergirl.

"Supergirl NO! Stay back!" Superman shouted at her desperately despite the pain it caused his broken ribs, knowing that his headstrong cousin had no idea how hideously dangerous the horned man was. None of them had imagined that he would be this powerful.

Kara normally wouldn't have involved herself in the battles of the Justice League(at least not until she joined up herself), but there had been news reports of the battle in Metropolis and they'd all been saying that the Justice League was losing. That was the reason she'd put on her uniform and gone to help, despite knowing that her cousin wouldn't want her to.

In the time that it had taken for the teenaged superheroine to reach Naruto, he had already thought up a plan.

It was a devious plan, it was a cruel plan, it was a plan that would cause Superman massive amounts of mental anguish. It was a plan that Naruto(who was still pissed at the kryptonian for his failure to respond with lethal force when his little sister was threatened) liked a great deal.

Easily intercepting Supergirl's tiny fist, Naruto manifested chains to bind her limbs. Chains which were far too strong for her to break.

"Let her go!" Clark wheezed, only to receive a jab in the gut with the shakujo, sending him crashing back to the ground.

"Stop it, leave him alone!" Kara demanded and struggled against the chains.

Instead of saying anything, Naruto pressed his palm into Supergirl's bared midriff, causing a complex seal to spread across her body and then fade into invisibility until only a small spiral remained around her belly button. Kara's eyes fluttered closed as she suddenly felt all the strength leaving her until she slumped into unconsciousness, at which point Naruto slung her over his shoulder.

"What did you do to her?" Superman demanded as strongly as he was capable in his beaten up condition, which was not very strongly at all.

"Nothing much, I just sealed away her power. She'll be less troublesome this way." Shikamaru would have approved...or maybe not, all things considered.

"Let her go...please." Clark pleaded, knowing that it was the only thing he could do. He was too beaten up to try taking his cousin by force.

"You had your chance to save her and you chose to keep your conscience clean instead, I hope you enjoy it." Naruto responded uncaringly. "But don't worry, I'll take real good care of your cute cousin."

He meant it too, he fully intended to keep Kara as safe and comfortable as possible for the few days that she would be in his keeping. He might even teach her a thing or two about fighting if she wanted to learn. Of course, the lewd inflection with which he said it wasn't very comforting for Superman, nor was the way that he patted her backside when he said it.

Predictably, the kryptonian tried to attack him in a last ditch attempt to save his cousin only to get brained with the shakujo.

"You really need to work on being less predictable." Naruto told him with a sigh and vanished with a distortion of air, Supergirl slung over his shoulder.

Superman's shout of anguished denial was heard very far indeed.

That was very cruel husband. Xanna commented casually and without disapproval, having been observing the whole spectacle.

I've got a thing about people who don't protect their little sisters properly. Naruto responded, now holding the unconscious girl in a far more gentle bridal style carry.

You don't say?

I'm not sure if sarcasm is your thing my dear.

Husband, you should know better by now. I am a goddess, EVERYTHING is my thing if I choose to make it so. Xanna fired back with overpowering arrogance and a great deal of amusement.

I bow to your superior logic. He deadpanned.

So, what are you going to do with that little one now that you've stolen her away? Xanna asked curiously, redirecting the conversation. Naruto had done it more or less on impulse, so she didn't know what he had in mind.

I think I'm going to get Pamela and that friend of hers, along with Priscilla and take the lot of them on a vacation to a tropical island somewhere while Super Panties tortures himself with mental images of his cousin being raped. Maybe that'll help him figure out that there are more important things in life than keeping your conscience clean. Naruto explained.

Indeed, that would be quite the lesson. Xanna commented humorously. Don't take too long though, this space station is boring and I'm not willing to stay up here for any longer than a few more days.

That's perfect, because I'm not willing to be separated from you for any longer than a few more days. Naruto responded.

Then we are in agreement.

By the way Xanna... Naruto started with a sly tone of voice.

Yes?

You didn't get more pussy than me. He teased.

Oh grow up. Xanna huffed.