Ivy stared down at her drink, vodka with three olives, and frowned. Something about this felt off. Maybe she was paranoid, a small amount of paranoia was good for a supervillain to have as there was no telling when Batman might drop in and ruin your things. So, she could accept she may be wrong but something told her she wasn't.
It wasn't out of the ordinary for Helena to call Harley for a hang but it was odd for her to insist Ivy be there, new relationship or not. And then to invite Selena, it was almost as The Huntress wanted Ivy off her game. She could admit she got a little… weird around Selina. And with Harley running around being the life of the part, it was just the three women at the table.
The foursome went to the Penguin's joint, something of a neutral zone as he was semiretired from the life. The quad chatted, things had been pretty easy until Harley let slip that timing of the outing was fortuitous as they'd be leaving town the next day.
"So, Ivy," Selina said in that way unique to her; effortless and always at the same tone, an undercurrent of a purr. "Where are you two headed?"
"Can't say, keeping everything on the hush."
"Oh, is this a working trip?" Helena asked and Ivy quirked her brow. True, she wasn't straightforward but she still targeted villains, and Ivy, to the small-minded set, was a villain. Before she could answer, Harley flipped back into the booth, beside her, and exclaimed too loudly.
"NOPE! I'M TAKING MY LADY ON A ROMANTIC GETAWAY!" which, despite herself, made Ivy smile.
"How long?"
"Don't know, depends on how much trouble we cause," Harley said, now talking at a reasonable volume but no less excited. "But I won't get to bring my babies!" she said, mood flipping in an instant. "Ivy, do you think they'll remember me?"
"Of course," Ivy answered, placing an arm around the excitable blonde.
"Well, if you come across anything interesting do keep me in mind. Gotham is getting a little claustrophobic," Selina said, staring intently at Ivy.
"Hmm, sure. I mean, we probably won't but if you think we will then maybe. Yea, maybe." Ivy knew she sounded like an idiot and could die from embarrassment. She finished off her drink, hoping slight intoxication could number her. She somewhat checked out for the rest of the night but Harley was animated enough for the both of them. With an early flight scheduled, the two departed before Selina and Helena, each wishing the pair a good trip.
Now alone, Selina stared intently at Helena, a knowing smile graced her lips. "Must be difficult to ingratiate yourself to someone that is leaving, no?"
"I don't know what you mean," Helena replied.
"Of course, darling. Of course," Selina said while never breaking eye contact. Helena started to feel so insecure as those green eyes peered at her, stripping away at her psyche defenses.
"Was I that obvious?" Helena relented under the gaze of her friend.
"Are you implying the only way I could figure it out is if you were?" Selina asked. Helena smiled.
"Yes."
"Cretin," Selina playfully hissed. "But do tell any interested parties they are going about this the wrong way."
Lois walked into the once oppressive office, excited for her exclusive. The once baron walls were decorated with art, plantlife was strewn throughout the room. It made the room feel more lively less imposing. The whiskered cheeked head of Lexcorp sat there expectantly, his PR shill right beside him and Mercy Graves to his left. She thought it was a bit much for just one interview and he must have agreed as he requested they vacate.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Lane," he greeted.
"Hello, Mr. Uzumaki," she returned in kind. "May I call you Naruto?"
"I'd prefer that you did," he answered, smiling brightly. Lois smiled as well before slipping her professional mask back on.
"It has been a little over a month since you've taken over Lexcorp and the business world and already your tenure has come under criticism. Some see you as the new Lex, others the anti-Lex, and still more something altogether new but it's hard to find someone with a neutral opinion about you. Why do you think that is?"
Naruto didn't answer immediately, truly thinking about the question. It was a weird question, to consider the motivations for other people's perception of you and to do so without projection. But of all the things people could use to shape their opinions, he knew what recent piece of evidence was making so many reconsider him. "My father was a man of consequence, for good and ill. I think those expecting or fearing I'll be like him are still trying to read the tea leaves. For others, they simply don't like my preferred management style. Honestly, I bet there are a ton of people who don't give two flips about me, they just don't talk to reporters."
"What do you say to those who fear you will be just like your father?"
Fear, only second to love as the most vexing of emotions. Good or bad depending on the context, it was not a feeling that could be soothed through explanation. And as much as he'd want to alleviate concerns, to tell people what they could expect the truth was it wouldn't matter. It had no recourse but to answer, "Nothing. If words alone could alleviate their fears they probably didn't really fear me becoming Lex. And then you have some who won't be convinced by any amount of actions to the contrary. Not to sound glib but I can't live my life trying to prove I'm not my father. It's not a real life and I have things I want to accomplish; not because I want to show my father up or anything other than I believe them to be right and just."
"Are right and just sound business practices?"
"If they aren't then you have much bigger concerns. If the only way for a business to maintain or thrive is by exploiting its workers, putting profit above all else, then we're in really big trouble. However, I don't believe that to be the case. Once again, we have to see who gets to speak to reporters and which people are treated as experts. If most of the people you speak to about business are those that actually benefit from profits they are going to shape their worldview around ascertaining profits."
"Then what makes you an exception? You've admitted your privileged upbringing so shouldn't you be more concerned about profits over the welfare of your employees or your civic responsibilities?"
An exception? He shook his head. It was an understandable question but it missed the point. He didn't want to be an exception, the point was to be the new normal but he'd let his success speak for him. Instead of rejecting her premise, Naruto attempted to be diplomatic. "I'm not sure how much of an exception I am, in that I don't have a board and I don't answer to stockholders. We don't know what various executives would do if they were free.
I'm not saying we have a class of Eugene Debs's just wanting off the leash, I just want to be fair. But assuming I am some exception, I honestly don't know why. It could be I read the right book at the right time, saw the right movie, or connected with someone I normally wouldn't have. Maybe a cute girl in a Che Guevara winked at me."
"Really?" Lois asked credulously. "Revolutionizing corporate culture because a cute girl winked at you?"
"Helen of Troy managed to inspire a war, is it so unfeasible to believe a similar beauty couldn't get me to pay people fairly?"
"Well, when you put it like that," Lois said with a chuckle. "But speaking of beautiful women who have inspired you, you're only known relationship was with one Pamela "Poison Ivy" Isley. Are you two still together?"
"We are not, no."
"Then, are you single? If so, I'd imagine you'd be Metropolis's most eligible bachelor." Naruto chuckled dryly but Lois could tell it was a cover.
"My work-life balance is tilted firmly toward work so I don't know how eligible I am."
"Mr. Uzumaki, you have an appearance you scheduled. I'm sorry but Ms. Lane's time is up," Lois and he both heard his PR shill say.
"Was there anything else, Ms. Lane? I don't want to cut you short but I do hate to keep people waiting."
"No, I'm all done, thank you for your time," Lois said and exited the office. Down on the first floor, her longtime partner was waiting for her. "You didn't have to wait, Smallville. He isn't the big, bad wolf."
Clark rolled his eyes at the irony, if only she knew. "I thought we could grab some lunch while you tell me about Lex Jr.," he said with a smile. Even the thought of how much that'd annoy Naruto pleased him.
"Pfft, I don't know what the kid is but he certainly isn't Lex 2.0. Is going to be quite the heartbreaker, though," she said as Clark hailed a taxi. He held his question until they got in the yellow car.
"What makes you say that?"
"He's still hung up on Poison Ivy. Makes you wonder what she's doing to inspire such devotion and if us normal ladies can learn." Clark recalled Naruto's remark about rough play and was really hoping Lois didn't learn that. He was from Kansas, he had his limits.
Back with Naruto, he knew something was wrong. His PR specialist, Megan, was too nervous for no reason. Sure, she came off mousey and sort of non-descript with her brown hair and average build but she'd been comfortable in his presence before. The next sign was the driver, who wasn't his normal driver. Guy didn't even call attention to it and it made Naruto think they assumed he wouldn't notice; a lot of rich pricks wouldn't.
He could have gotten out of it, had near countless ways of escaping and only a few required he snap the neck of everyone in the black SUV. He wondered if he was getting arrogant, continually allowing people to kidnap him just to see what they wanted but if he desired to keep a low profile, meaning appearing powerless, then he had little choice. Didn't make it any less annoying, especially as he watched Megan struggle to pull out her silenced pistol.
"If this is a salary negotiation, I don't know if you're going about this the worst or best possible way but you have my attention," Naruto said, not remotely bothered by the weapon.
"Please just ride without incident and you won't get hurt, Mr. Uzumaki," she said. She didn't want to be doing this, it suggested coercion. Naruto nodded, if she wasn't going to try to harm him then he could enjoy the car ride in silence. He needed a break anyway. Leaving downtown and getting on the highway, Naruto took a closer look at his second captor, the driver. Square jaw, clean shave, hair buzzed on the side of his head but longer on top. Military, possibly former, Naruto would need more information to really know. But the guy had the eyes of someone who'd claim to like to "work up close" in a gravely draw while wielding a knife larger than necessary for stabbing someone to death.
Deathstroke was entirely dismissive of most military people, especially their special forces. He called them just good enough to not be good enough when "facing real competition". His former sensei tended to underrate the unfairness of fighting a supersoldier until he had to fight one himself. Naruto created a brief mental note to have Mr. Wintergreen arrange a visit for the two. He hadn't beat the merc down in a few years, not since the man fucked off to Nanda Parbat. Because training from Ra's fucking Al Ghul was surely going to close the distance between them.
Naruto rolled his eyes at the thought of the "Demon's Head." If there was a man whose existence was confoundingly asinine it would be Ra's Al Ghul. It fit that the Detective and he went round and round with each other, they were on the same bullshit. 'I run a secret organization everyone knows about. My assassins dress up like ninja from the movies. Blah!' Naruto thought dismissively.
He and his League of Lost Boys were amusing in how inept they were. No, seriously, one guy continually foils your plots and instead of sending every assassin you have after him, you try to honeypot him with your daughter? Even Lex used to laugh at that. Over brandy and a nice Monte Cristo that was rarely lit, he would just chuckle at the self-important, old man. 'Please, if you have some incredibly long life, don't be like him,' Lex would say through laughs.
"We're here," the driver announced as he stopped in front of a small bistro, Madeline's. He opened Naruto's door, making a show if revealing his pistol should Naruto try to flee. He just ignored the man and entered the eatery. The hostess, short with long jet back hair and green eyes. Green like… he killed the thought and followed her to his table, where two people were already sitting. A military man, General, from what Naruto could tell of his medals and a large, black woman of average height.
"Thank you for joining us, Mr. Uzumaki," the woman said. "I took the initiative of ordering for you, I hope you don't mind," she explained as a plate was placed before him by one server, another filling his wine glass. Steak au Poivre with bearnaise, Pommes Puree, and grilled asparagus. Naruto had to admit, it was a good selection. He took a sip of wine; a nice, bold red. New world, probably Chilean, he guessed.
"So," he said as he picked up his fork and knife, "It'll be twelve thousand for a couple unless you want the boyfriend experience then it's fifteen. I am multi-lingual and perform well at parties so it'd be worth the price." The General wasn't amused but the woman snorted.
"I guess we deserve that given everything," she said. "This," she gestured to the military officer, "is General Wade Eiling and I am Amanda Waller. We apologize for the strong-arm tactics but we needed to meet."
"Vital? What could be so vital you had to plant an agent in my company and have her force me here at gunpoint?"
"War," Eiling growled. "War like we've never seen, a war we are not prepared for."
Naruto took a bit of his pepper steak, cooked just shy of medium. The sauce paired well, he'd have to come back here one day. The benefit of taking his sweet time to savor his steak was the nimrod General thought he was cowed instead of uninterested. "War?" he asked.
"Yes. Against the metahumans, against the likes of the League."
"You think I want to go to war with the League? I'm getting Lexcorp out of weaponry, I doubt I could help you, General."
"Actually," Waller cut in, "because you have been so vocal in wanting to stop manufacturing weapons you could be a boon. We'd already started talks with Lex before his untimely passing and it would be unexpected for you to end his weapons program and aid us. I think you agree that having an organization of unchecked superpowered beings answering to no one but themselves is bad for national security."
"I'm not a fan, no."
"Then help us. We are not out to antagonize the League; however, it would be unwise to be unprepared should they ever cross the line. We are partnering with some of the brightest minds to protect our nation."
The old patriotism gambit. Naruto did agree that unchecked power, unaccountable organizations that wielded the power to harm, to kill, were threats. But this, whatever it was, was going to be off the books. They would be just as unaccountable but call it covert; as if the industries of war and plunder were bastions of civil responsibility. He wanted no part in this.
"I'll have to decline, Ms. Waller," Naruto said. Taking another drink of wine, he thanked them for the meal and left, making General Eiling irate.
"That no-good, pampered, spoiled brat. We don't need him."
"As a point of fact, we do. A lot of our initial designs were Lex's and that young man is the only one with access. Same with Lex's slush fund."
"How do you suggest we gain his cooperation?" Eiling asked. Waller smiled, whatever the man's detriments he knew when to listen. Most of the time, anyway.
"We find his soft spots and apply pressure," Waller said with the utmost confidence.
Back outside Naruto approached the SUV with a smile, not surprised to see Mercy in the back and Mr. Wintergreen behind the wheel. After getting settled, Naruto made a finger gun and pointed it to his temple as he asked Mr. Wintergreen, "You didn't double-tap my abductors did you, Mr. Wintergreen?"
"No, sir, they are merely resting."
"Good," Naruto said and then turned to Mercy. "You wanna tell me what business Lex had with a three-star asshole and a Senior Policy Advisor to the last two Presidential administrations?"
She was getting used to the smell of ocean air, slow days, and long nights. Not just getting used to, enjoying, embracing, looking forward to each new day. Harley hadn't been so happy ever in her life. Mykonos was everything she'd imagined and more. They stayed for two weeks before departing, Ivy choosing the next destination and their current location; Lisbon, Portugal. Harley thought she liked it here even more than the Greek Island.
The city was a mixture of old and new, the people were friendly but not intrusive and the sedate pace had a calming effect on the otherwise hyperactive blonde. She had her lady, a ton of cash, and the world felt like it was filled with endless opportunities. Harley was pulled away from her thoughts by the ringing of her phone, the display saying it was King Shark.
She answered excitedly, hoping to see her babies, "Hi Kingy!" she greeted before her face morphed into one of pure fury. "Why do you have his phone? What have you done?"
"Heehee hahahaha, don't be like that, Harley. I just missed you is all and I want my partner back."
"We were never partners, I was just someone for you to order, beat, and occasionally fuck."
"I know, it was the perfect relationship, hahaha! But seriously, Mr. J needs you to come back. This separation, it's run its course. My mayhem isn't the same without you, baby."
"I would never go back to you, not in a hundred years."
"The shark said something similar, along with refusing to tell me where you were," Joker said as he turned the phone to show Harley the room. Blood everywhere and King Shark in pieces. "I asked a little too hard but we'll get you some more henchmen, I promise."
Harley willed the tears from her eyes, her body hot with fury. "I'm going to kill you. I'm going to bash your fucking head in and burn your corpse. I swear I'll make you pay."
"You've gotten a little willful since you left. I'm not sure I like it but it's ok, I'll get you back to working order in no time. Once you see things my way, that is."
"And why would I do that?" Harley asked.
"Because if you don't I'm going to kill your new girlfriend. And I'll take a much longer time than I did with the shark."
"You won't get within ten feet of her, I promise you that," Harley said through gritted teeth and a death grip on her phone.
"Oh, baby, she'll come to me of her own volition and then we'll have a party. Compare notes. Torturer her until she's unrecognizable. You know, good, wholesome fun."
"You still have nothing she'd want, your threats are empty," Harley said. She wouldn't be baited into reckless action, she'd plan her revenge and make sure the bastard was dead.
"We'll see. You two may be out of reach but a certain member of Metropolis High Society isn't. I wonder what Ivy will do once I pay her boy a visit."
"Do what you want, it won't matter. You're dead." Joker hung up and Harley knew he didn't believe she'd be able to kill him. She, almost, couldn't blame the sadistic clown. He'd broken her good once and believed he could do it again. He was wrong but that was a secondary matter. Harley debated whether or not to tell Ivy of Joker's threats. She really wanted Naruto out of their lives, and while he'd attracted Joker's attention through no fault of his own it would be great if they could just kill each other.
As great as the trip had been, there were times Ivy would go somewhere in her mind. Harley suspected her girlfriend was thinking about him, how things would be different with him. She couldn't compete with a projection, in Ivy's mind she could make him as perfect as she wanted. So, a small part of the former sidekick just wanted him to be a permanent memory. The sound of water being turned off, the signal that Ivy's shower had ended threw Harley into a fierce debate. Tell or keep silent? She didn't have long to choose and suspected her relationship hinged on her decision. Why was love so hard?
It was the weekend and Naruto couldn't be more pumped to do nothing. The simple luxury of doing nothing, it was so underrated. He had two pots going on his stove, slow simmering the broths for his ramen, shoyu, and tonkotsu for variety. His pork roast was trussed and resting in the refrigerator, cooling for easy slicing later. Since the ramen would go for hours, he had a spread of tacos being delivered for lunch. He got his training out of the way early so it was just movies and food. Maybe some sealing or coding if his mind needed a workout but only if.
Naruto got comfortable on his couch and pulled up his preferred streaming service on his SmartTV. Without having to search, the first movie of his marathon was already a suggestion; Five the Hard Way: Part VI; Blood Reckoning. Not that anyone asked but Naruto thought the series leapt in quality and narrative risk-taking in part five so he was jazzed to see the latest iteration. However, not five minutes into the movie, and Naruto was hit with a wave of negative emotions. Madness was the strongest one; pure, unrelenting madness, and it was directed at him. Naruto called Mr. Wintergreen to warn of an attack and the man engaged the security protocols.
Naruto was starting to grate under the guise of the powerless heir, ripe for the picking. He was tucked away, supremely secure in his penthouse while others took risks, not for his safety but his ruse. Not even the rockets fired at his windows bothered him, he'd added seals to strengthen them against high-velocity impacts as the Flash had demonstrated their previous upward limit.
He could feel the firefight, his security team a model of tactical efficiency facing off against Joker's band of lunatics. A hail of bullets ripping through the lobby, his men taking down several of theirs. He felt it when Otto was hit, catching one in the throat. He sensed the man's hopelessness, his desperation to survive. He felt his sadness and regrets and Naruto assumed it was of leaving his family. Otto was on his second marriage, three kids between the two. The eldest, a girl, had gotten accepted to National University. She'd never know what a tuition bill looked like, Naruto resolved.
A second of his men, Robert, got caught in an explosion. He went quickly, no time to even consider his end. A newer addition, and one of the younger members of the detail being only twenty-seven. His partner, an accountant if Naruto recalled properly, and he were saving up for an elaborate ceremony. He'd have to do something for him, for all of them.
He hadn't realized he'd gotten up nor walked over to the windows that had endured the volley of rockets. The attacks ceased, not because either side relented but due to the arrival of the Boy Scout and the Captain. His phone was ringing, probably Mr. Wintergreen to provide him an update but Naruto didn't care to talk to anyone. Two people, two lives he was responsible for were taken for some reason he couldn't fathom. He'd never had dealings with Joker, Lex detested the clown so he doubted that was it. Not that it mattered, the why stopped being important the moment Otto was shot.
The clown and all that followed him would die screaming; cut by winds sharp enough to flay skin and muscle from bone, fires that turned all to ash before them, or some altogether different method; it didn't matter. None of it mattered, just that the clown would die, violently. The woosh of the wind alerted him he was outside, on his veranda. He hadn't remembered doing that. It didn't matter, he had to keep focused. Dead clown was priority one.
"Naruto?" he heard some distance voice call out but he was beyond the reach of voices unless they were telling him how to get to the clown. The arrogant clown that thought his insanity offered a cloak of invincibility. He'd learn his place, the pig. Pigs in people suits, walking around thinking the world was theirs to do as they wished, that they were acts of nature to be endured as they spread misery and hopelessness. They were pigs and pigs were slaughtered. The pig-clown would learn soon enough. Eiling and Waller might need a lesson in humility as well.
All these people doing things they shouldn't, involving themselves in his affairs like he was incapable of dolling out consequences. Like this whole goddamn city couldn't go up in dust if he deemed it so. Pigs. Pigs playing their pig games like they were masters of the universe. Maybe he needed to make a few examples so the schemers and the pajama people would leave him be.
"Naruto," he heard again and felt two strong hands on his shoulders. "You have to calm down," he heard Clark say. He was calm, what was he talking about? He sent the hero a questioning look and the man pointed behind him. Naruto turned to see shattered glass everywhere. That didn't make sense, the rockets didn't even crack the glass. What could have shattered it?
He, finally, noticed Kara was there too, and she had a cut on her hand. He walked over to her, palm green, not noticing her flinch at his initial touch but relaxing when her hand started to heal. It was hard to believe Joker possessed something that could draw blood from them. He'd make sure to get the location of all such items out of the man before he ended him. He could be a jerk to them but they were good people, all told and didn't want any harm to come to them just because he disagreed with their life choices.
He knew what he needed to do what was still confused by events, how'd he get outside? What shattered his glass? What hurt Kara?
'You lost control, little sage,' a deep voice rumbled from within.
'Kurama?'
Our boy big mad.