"As your general, I command you to hang that man by his balls." Nicholas spoke from a bench and pointed upwards with two fingers, a faint smile on his face that faded away when a nearby patrol saluted and bum rushed the poor guy he was pointing at, "...Why're they actually trying to do it?"
Gudako and the others were off strategising or gathering info from Nero or something, doing their usual nerd stuff so he was out here, passing the time until they told him where the dudes he was supposed to beat were.
"The Romans were always weird, even from what I got in." Jalter shrugged her hands, an amused smile on her face, "They were probably looking for a chance to have some in their face."
Oh and, Kiyohime was here too... just staring at him from the adjacent rooftop. BB was... around, somewhere... The chick usually did whatever she wanted to.
Nicholas mechanically turned to the ashen haired woman sitting next to him, "...You sick fuck."
What was wrong with these people?
"You're the one who abandoned God to marry said sick fuck, that makes you even sicker." Jalter shrugged again, glancing at him from the corner of her eyes.
Nicholas narrowed his eyes and looked her up and down.
She'd dropped her full obsidian armour for a pair of blue jean shorts and a cold shoulder top, with a pair of knee high boots cause of a certain argument with Artoria about height... but then again, servants were convenient like that.
They could literally just phase their weapons and fits in and out whenever they needed and he totally wasn't jealous of them for it.
He also wasn't jealous of their over the top, cool as shit, noble phantasms.
Not at all.
"You know, I liked you better when you were embarrassed and all that." Nicholas commented offhandedly, returning his gaze to the poor man desperately trying to run away from the guard.
"..." Jalter turned to stare at him, "I mean... you've been pretty tame lately... n-not that I mind, just so you know."
"Is that so?" Nicholas chortled and pinched her nose before jumping to his feet, "I should probably see about saving that poor dude."
At the rate things were going, they were probably actually gonna grab the guy and hang him by his family jewels in the city square. There was even a small crowd gathering.
"...Yeah, sure." The self proclaimed Dragon Witch just stared at her Master's back, watching him walk away in silence before she sighed, lowering her head, and muttered to herself, "Martha's getting in his head... I-I'm the wife y'know?"
"Gotcha."
Jalter raised her head in sudden alarm, looking up to see Nicholas staring at her with a faint smile... It didn't take her long to connect the dots.
Though that just made her get hella red and shrink into the bench.
"W-Why do you have to pay so much attention at the wrong times?!"
"Well course I would. A man's supposed to pay attention to his wife and last I checked, you was mine." He gave her a small thumbs up and let out a small laugh when she shrunk even more, scrambling to hide her face with her face and knees.
"Y-Y-Y-"
The Chaldean Master threw his head back and let out another chortle. It was only then that he decided to saunter off, but not before giving her thigh a pinch which made her whimper in embarrassment.
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"So haha y'all, just let hi-"
Nicholas was cut off by an overly enthusiastic soldier approaching him with eyes shining in awe and admiration, "How'd you know, general?! This man was on an espionage mission in preparation for an assault on the capital!"
The pale haired teenager paused with a flat expression, "He was what now?"
"Guys I told you we shouldn't have doubted the Emperor's decision! Emperor Nero would obviously know how competent a person was!" The guy turned around to address his comrades instead of answering Nicholas, receiving nods of acknowledgement and admiration for his word.
"We should be punished for even thinking our new general was a mentally challenged skirt chaser!"
"Eh?" Nicholas stared at them in silence.
"He clearly isn't! He noticed a spy that even counter intelligence missed!"
"Ehh?"
"All hail Emperor Nero! All hail the new general!"
"Ehhhhh?"
"Hail! Hail! Hail! ..."
Nicholas was left utterly flabbergasted for the first time in a long time... but, like any self respecting narcissist, he quickly acclimated to the praise and attention and raised his head slightly, "Course Course, ya boi way smarter than dark age plebs."
"If only he could speak words our mortal ears would understand rather than gibberish! Anyway! Hail!"
"Oi." Nicholas burned the face of the speaker into his mind, he would have a word with his mother about her son's behaviour.
"And he even knew that threatening the man's balls would get him to spill everything!" A soldier praised loudly, loud enough for the crowd around them to hear and gasp in awe and horror, painting a totally unprejudiced picture of the newest general appointed by Emperor Nero, "We even got the location they were planning to attack at! Let's go there now!"
Pausing only for a moment, Nicholas relented and nodded in affirmation, cracking his knuckles.
He would never not be up for bashing some faces in.
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"YEE-HAW BITCHES!"
Once again, Nero arrived to a scene she wasn't expecting... and that was something considering she could usually tell where things were going from minimal signs.
She'd been in her palace, discussing strategy with the strange people from a faraway land that wanted to help her when she got news of a battle at the Eastern gate to Rome... Stretched for manpower and resources as they were, she naturally hurried over, bringing all the people she could.
Only to arrive at... well, it wasn't even a battle.
"Here's that punch daddy never hit you with. And a middle aged abusive uncle punch for your friend too."
Her 'general' was punching people into the sky while a flaming serpent rampaged about, burning their enemies to dust and ash all the while an unfamiliar ashen haired woman released waves of flame with simple flicks of her wrist while shouting something about something called 'italian scum'.
It was good that the area outside the gate was mostly open land with sparse patches of grass.
"I... Is it just me or is senpai getting more unhinge-... er... more and more 'free' with each passing day?" Surprisingly, it was Mash who spoke out... It was surprising because the girl had nothing but words of praise upon praise for her 'senpai'.
Hinako shrugged her hands before deadpanning, "It's a guy who can punch half assedly and reshape a continent... it'd be weird if he WAS reserved and tame."
"Eh it'll be fine..." Gudako waved them both off, "Emiya, do something useful for once in your life."
"Excuse m-..." The Archer opened his mouth with twitching brows but all it took was one look from Gudako for him to shut up and lower his head, "Yes, of course."
Chaldea's youngest Master then turned to Martha who'd just been staring at the battle in silence, "Go help your husband or master or whatever you're into calling him nowadays."
The Rider nodded and jumped into battle, knowing not to talk back.
"Emperor Nero, can you please arrange a search party for our missing Saber? I honestly doubt the idiot will ever realise she can track her Master through their contract." The girl's head turned Nero's way and all she saw were large vacant eyes peering into her very being.
"U-Umu... it is the least I could do for your aid."
"Much appreciated. Please see to preparing your men for what we discussed, if it pleases you of course."
The Roman Emperor could only nod silently and then, to save what little remained of her pride, she turned around as sharply as she could, making her red dress flutter in the wind, "...Let us go and prepare to march! My general has this handled!"
S-She totally didn't feel like crying!
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Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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