Bryan was doing the dishes today and yesterday and I was drying and putting them away, not that it was much, but it was better than if we sat at the table staring at each other without saying anything.
Now, at least, we exchanged a few smiles and embarrassed looks. I controlled myself not to do something indecent, because my mind was already imagining some pretty naughty things. I took a deep breath, suddenly I stopped hearing the sound of the water.
- I'm done. He dried his hand on a tea towel. - Want help?
As soon as he looked at me, I looked away, feeling my cheeks heat up.
-No... All that's missing is that cutlery. - I increased the pace of the task.
-So... I'll wait for you in the living room.
He turned and left, it was only then that I realized that my breathing was irregular. I closed my eyes to try to soothe my wrist, then opened them as I concentrated on drying the dishes.
After five minutes, I was making my way to the living room, a little anxious to talk to Bryan on my couch. I shook my head before entering, I found him looking at the only picture frame in the room.
I sat next to her and looked at the picture - me and Bryan, little about ten years old, hugging my aunt - I had such a good feeling when I saw her big bright smile.
"I'm still worried about you, you know?"
Without taking his eyes off the portrait, he placed it on the coffee table and only then settled down on the sofa to watch me.
"I know," I replied with my head down. "I didn't know I was acting so strange.
It was a lie, I knew yes, I just didn't want to involve him in my complicated world.
"Is it okay if we talk about it now?" he took my hand and began to gently caress it.
Affectionate. That was one of the qualities I appreciated so much about Bryan.
"I think it's about time I talked about all of this with someone." I still didn't look into his eyes. "And you're the person I trust the most and maybe the only one who will understand me."I
plucked up my courage and looked into his eyes, if we weren't talking about something so serious, I would be mesmerized by the caramel of his eyes and would soon be tempted to kiss him.
"How weird am I acting?" I asked, trying to focus on his face, not just his eyes or his mouth.
- Let me see... You're very antisocial, you're almost always in the moon world and yesterday you started crying without saying anything. - He was still stroking my hand. "And so far you haven't told me what happened yesterday."
Do you mean the time I cried in your arms? Or the time we kiss? Not that I think I'm capable of answering any of them right now.
- Did you tell the girls about my behavior?
"No, but they said they thought you were depressed and that you've been isolating yourself since your aunt died." His voice was one of concern.
I bit my lip and waited for him to scold me for doing so.
"It's just that I think you changed before that happened."
"What do you mean?" "Are you saying that I was different before and that her death made me worse?"
Bryan nodded and then proceeded to stare at our clasped hands.
"I wish I could help you, but you don't talk to me like you used to." - he commented. "Besides, you've been avoiding me and I wanted to know why.
- I'm not just avoiding you... In fact, I think I've been avoiding everybody...
"But why, Kristine?"
I wish he hadn't stopped stroking my hand and started looking at me with those beautiful caramel eyes.
"I don't know," I lied. "It just happened..."
What I feared most happened: Bryan wasn't convinced. My brain worked as fast as I could to come up with some reason why I had avoided them all, the hard thing was that I couldn't dare to mention the words wolf, transformation, and forest.
"If you had told me that a week ago, I'd say you could tell me the truth when you were ready." His gaze was stern. - But not today! You'll tell me what's going on... Because you don't have a clue what you're doing to the people around you!
I felt like my heart had been compressed... I did know how everyone was feeling, I just hadn't admitted it to myself. I bit my lip and felt my eyes blur, now he would surely know that something was very wrong. I
closed my eyes tightly, and when I opened them, I was met with Bryan's fearful eyes.
- I'm sorry. I clasped my own hands. - I really wanted to tell you the truth, at least to you... But I can't... I promised Aunt Ju.
It was true because abiding by the rules was something I had promised Judely, and one of them was to never tell anyone about our species.
"Will you never be able to tell you at all?" - he sighed. "I wonder what Judely may have confided in you that shook you so much.
I shook my head, nothing he could imagine would be the truth. Bryan was about to open his mouth when the front door opened, it was so fast and loud that I didn't even have to turn around to know that Vivian had just walked in.
Of course, her scent helped me make sure it was herself. Next time I have to remember to lock the door.
"Kristine Moore!" she yelled and slammed the door shut.
I can see that today is going to be a long and very troublesome day.
It
was already lunchtime and neither of them had left, and they didn't seem very likely to leave my house. And I was still sitting on the couch, but now I was in the middle of two very deep looks.
"I've already told you I'm fine. - I repeated the phrase to Vivian. "She exaggerated, I wasn't just wearing a coat.
"Do you want me to believe you were cold?" she cleared her throat. - Even more so you who love the cold.
Vivian started to deny it with her head, from the years of living together I knew that our conversation was not progressing.
- Vivian, I also think Jennifer exaggerated. Bryan said calmly since Vivian could explode at any moment. - Also, just because Kristine loves the cold, it doesn't mean she doesn't feel it.I
could kiss him now because I was so grateful, because if Vivian didn't listen to me, she would surely listen to him.
Vivian took a deep breath and after much thought, she apologized for not believing me. Relieved, I smiled and apologized to her, and then the matter was over and Vivian left the house in a hurry saying she had a date with her boyfriend.
Bryan didn't need to say anything else, his look told me everything... He wouldn't give up on finding out what was bothering me and would do anything to help me.
"I'll get better, I swear." I tried to reassure him.
- I believe you, but the problem is that you're too stubborn to ask for help if you need it.
- I can prove to you that I've already improved thanks to our conversation yesterday and today.
He scrutinized me cautiously, noting any signs of lying my body might present, luckily I was telling the truth.
- But we didn't even talk yesterday properly...
"I counted that whole crying as a breakthrough. I chuckled.
He sighed and then smiled, I had finally managed to convince him.
"How about we go to lunch so we can cool our heads?" - he suggested.
- A feijoada at Jerry's Bar?
I got up from the couch when he nodded, smiled and ran to my room, I had to change because I was still in my pajamas.
*
Jerry's Bar. A humble and comfortable place, and as it was the end of June, everyone seemed to have had the idea of eating a good feijoada to warm up their bodies.
As soon as we entered, Jerry's son, Felipe, waved from the counter and quickly had one of the waiters set up a table for the two of us. I thanked him with a smile, we got a table with those sofa-like accents.
After we sat down, I noticed that Bryan had changed his clothes, funny how I had forgotten that he still had a few changes of clothes at my house.- It's
funny, isn't it? - I smiled slightly. - How we were so close and out of nowhere... Everything has changed.
"Why are you saying that now?" he looked at me confused.
- For nothing... I think I was thinking out loud.
I shifted slightly on the couch and let out a giggle.
- Tell me... Will your changes at home ever end? -Played.
-Hm... Maybe. He laughed and then gave me a kiss on the cheek. - It's all up to you.
"Just me?" I teased him.
He smiled and then looked away, picking up the menu that was in front of him.- I
thought we were going to order feijoada. - I said, looking at him.
"Well," he said, "I'm just doing this so I don't do anything that could ruin our relationship.
What relation? Men always say such vague things hoping that we women have a super intellect and understand them.
- Besides, if I do something here, your admirer over there might end up going crazy. He nodded in the direction of the counter.
But I didn't need to turn around to know who he was talking about, Felipe Letrosk is a man my age who had a crush on me at first sight.
Red-haired with brown eyes, he's very handsome but I was already in love with Bryan when he told me he was into me. So, Felipe didn't have much of a chance and still doesn't have any since it seems that I still like Bryan, which puts me in a delicate situation.
- Moon World? Or some other that I don't know yet? Bryan waved his hand in front of me.
- Sorry. I smiled slightly. - I was thinking about what you said about Felipe.
"Are you going to tell me you fell in love with him?"
-Jealous?
Bryan blushed instantly and I was amused by it.
- Don't worry... I never fell in love with him.
- Hmmm...
It was the only thing he had the courage to say, sometimes he was so complicated that I thought it was impossible for me to be in love with him.
"I hope this jealousy is from best friends," I whispered to myself.
"Do you think the two of us just want friendship after what happened last night?"
He wasn't kidding and the worst thing was that I thought he was right. While we were looking at each other, a waiter arrived to take our orders and without delay we ordered the feijoada and our drinks, an orange juice for me and a passion fruit juice for him.
As soon as the waiter left, I turned to look at Bryan who was staring at the table, but his mind seemed to be far away. I jumped up to him and leaned my head on his shoulder.
"I know that what happened yesterday changes everything between us. I spoke cautiously. "But I really need to think, because I'm confused by everything that's going on..." And I just hope you can wait.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. He put his hand over my head and hugged me. "I don't want to pressure you, but I'd like you to trust me again."
- I trust... More than you might think.
- It's going to be all right in the end. He gave me a kiss on the head.
It was a shame that only I knew how complicated things could get, in fact, I don't think I even knew myself, but for today I'm going to put my worries aside and try to understand this indomitable heart of mine.