"Okay, okay, let's calm down," Zirisia said after a while. Jenn had lost track of the conversation and felt like her face could probably be used to cook something with how hot it felt. "That kind of discussion would probably be best conducted when the Blue Rose isn't here. Especially since she seems to be having such trouble just listening to what all of you are saying right now."
Jenn appreciated Zirisia's attempt to stop the topic, but she would have appreciated it more if she didn't sound so amused about it in general and she didn't suggest that they continue that discussion after she was gone. Even though she was certain they'd be talking about that later, she'd rather not think about that. Especially since she could imagine them getting her married without even being present while she was away for a short period of time.
With how fast her head was spinning at that moment, she doubted that she'd even be able to raise an objection if they tried getting her married at that moment.
"Well, if she wants to experience what it's like with another person, she's always welcome to come to my bed," Tchisa laughed, slapping Jenn's back again.
At this moment, Jenn wished that she wasn't the one in charge here. Because then she could leave quietly and let the discussion resume while she could find somewhere to hide and be alone. Although with how cold it was outside, she suspected that she wouldn't be able to go very far before she'd have to find some kind of shelter.
However, at that moment, as she thought about how cold it was, she suddenly felt her body letting her know that it still had certain needs that didn't care how cold it was outside. That it still needed to be taken care of right then, with the only place she was currently aware of to take care of that need being outside.
Jenn stood up, and started walking around everyone, grateful for the excuse to make her exit. "Excuse me, I need to take care of something," she said as she reached the door. "I'll be back as soon as I can."
When the door closed behind her, Jenn felt like she could suddenly breathe again. Like her brain had finally rebooted and was working again. She couldn't say if it was from the fact that she had essentially put some distance between her and the 'problem' or if it was something more psychological, but she felt relief about not being around the others in the meeting right then. She knew that she'd need to do something about it soon as well, but at that particular moment, she couldn't help but feel weak with relief.
Yet, her body was quick to let her know that it's 'need' wasn't just an excuse for her to leave that situation. That it still needed to have that need taken care of, regardless of how she felt at that moment.
So, Jenn carefully descended the stairs and made her way outside, even though she couldn't help but wonder if they put the 'privy' inside, if they'd be able to ignore the smell. She herself was willing to risk it, since that meant she wouldn't need to continue going outside whenever that particular need came up.
_
Even though she had insisted that they start out early, Jenn felt like she needed more sleep. Despite the fact that they still waited until the sun rose above the surrounding mountains, Jenn still felt like she needed more sleep.
Tchisa, Yaelish, Polelin, and Riewis were accompanying Jenn, though she planned on having Yaelish and Polelin stay behind after they found the ghost village so they could work at figuring out what needed to be done to make the buildings habitable again as well as what they needed to last through the winter in the mountains.
There were several volunteers, including all of the bandits that had joined them. Jenn couldn't say that she was comfortable leaving them with her people just then, even though she knew it would happen sooner or later. Only, when they all insisted on joining the scouting party, Jenn didn't see any reason to deny them that. Especially since in the Forest of the Lost was where the danger currently was that she could see.
"You should keep in mind who you might like to get in bed with," Tchisa remarked quietly as they started to pass through the gate after everyone who was going had gathered in the cul-de-sac.
Jenn didn't respond, partly because she wasn't sure how they would react if she told them that she had someone on Earth and that she planned on going back there eventually, no matter what else happened. She didn't want to abandon her people here, but at the same time, she couldn't say that she didn't have obligations back on Earth that were just as important as well.
Tchisa laughed and slapped Jenn on the back as they arrived on the other side of the gate. The world that her people called Telekario. Though, Jenn wasn't sure yet if that was the name of the country or of their world just yet. She suspected that it was of their world, given how sometimes she'd hear comments involving the dirt being referred to as 'Telekario' rather than just dirt, or as she was used to, as Earth.
"Or if you'd like, we could spend the nights together and I could show you things that would blow your world away," Tchisa said, making Jenn take a few steps away from the woman.
While she was confident that Tchisa wouldn't make a move on her without her approval or anything, she still felt like she needed to put a little distance between them. With how nonchalant Tchisa had made that comment, she couldn't say that she felt especially comfortable with being around her just then. Especially when they were alone together, even for a matter of seconds before others started coming through the gate as well.
"I'll be fine by myself," Jenn said, doing her best to try and sound like she wasn't bothered by what Tchisa had said, though she suspected that it was probably written all over her face.
"Well, if you'd rather, I'm sure Polelin would be happy to take you into his bed," Tchisa said, following Jenn step for step.
"And I told you, I'll be fine by myself," Jenn snapped quietly, not wanting to draw attention to their 'discussion' or, more importantly, the topic it was about.
Tchisa merely laughed instead. "Wow, I didn't expect it would be that easy," she said, making Jenn feel like she'd either been manipulated somehow or that something had happened that she wasn't yet aware of.
"Wh-what're you talking about?" she demanded, not sure if she really wanted to know.
Tchisa shrugged. "Just that it's clear you're more interested in women than twigs," she merely said, as if Jenn should have known what she had been doing.
Which Jenn certainly couldn't figure out what she had said had to do with whether or not Jenn was interested in woman or men. If so, she couldn't help but wonder if that might have been what she was missing, although she still didn't understand how it connected. Like how it was that Tchisa'd been able to tell what Jenn's preferences were just by that little exchange.
However, she didn't care to say anything about that matter. If Tchisa had been able to figure that out, then fine. She didn't need to know how the woman knew, she just wanted to be done with that topic. Especially since she couldn't say how long it'd continue on for if she allowed it to continue. She didn't want to even think about that right then. Maybe at all, though she suspected that she might have thoughts about that come into her mind when she got back to Earth and was around Alex again.
Yet, that was an issue for then and not at the situation she was currently in.
She wasn't sure what Tchisa's reason for doing whatever it was that she'd done to figure out what Jenn's preferences were, but that didn't change what it was that they were supposed to be doing. As such, she did her best to push that topic out of her mind entirely and focus on what her task was at the moment: finding the village that had been abandoned when the population inside it had been either killed or taken as slaves.
Plus, she wished that she'd stop hearing men referred to as 'twigs' so often in this world. She understood that men weren't viewed as highly as women, and essentially looked down on because of that, but it just felt like men were being demeaned simply for being men.
However, she didn't care enough to try to do anything about it. Or at least not yet. Maybe she would later on, but at the moment, it hardly felt like it was that important. It was just merely something that was bothering her.
Despite, the 'conversation' she had with Tchisa, Jenn started leading everyone south. As they walked, Jenn couldn't help but hope that the scouting parties that hadn't returned would soon. She had left instructions to send out parties to try and find the missing ones if they didn't return, but to do so carefully in the event that they'd died from something like an avalanche or something. Things that would make finding the search parties harder and could potentially harm any subsequent parties.
Although, Jenn didn't think that an avalanche was likely, she wasn't sure what else to say about it. As that was the only thing that came to mind at the time.
While Jenn couldn't remember exactly where the hidden village was, she kept hoping that she'd start seeing signs of it as they moved through the day. She didn't know if they'd reach it that day or not, but she also couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't as close as she'd initially thought.
While she knew the location wouldn't move on its own, she couldn't help but worry that the mental map she'd created through all of those various memories wasn't as accurate as she'd like. That the discrepancies she knew of were more than she'd planned on.
However, she kept pushing those thoughts out of her mind. She didn't want to make herself depressed just because of her anxiety, but it wasn't like she could keep those worries at bay indefinitely. While she pushed onward, she mostly hoped that her doubts weren't apparent to others.
As the light started to fade in the day, Jenn was so preoccupied with keeping herself moving that she would have missed the signs she was looking for if she didn't trip over them. Literally.
Ignoring the laughter of everyone around her as she picked herself off the ground and dusted herself off, Jenn looked only at the ground. She could see the root that her foot had gotten caught on. Though, she knew it wasn't the roots fault, even as she briefly thought about cutting it apart.
However, a moment later, she saw the sign she was looking for, just past the tree root. A scar in the tree's bark that had almost faded with time.
It was a small carving into the bark, created by a child whose memories Jenn could remember. A carving he had made in part as a way to rebel against the restrictions he had to endure living in the village, where everyone was constantly worried about being discovered by anyone not from their village, and to express his longing to see the rest of the world. A world that felt as far away from him as the tops of the trees were above the mist. The only thing that was missing from the scene that Jenn remembered was the blood of the child when the outsiders caught him and killed him without mercy or warning.
"Is something wrong?" Yaelish asked, stepping up next to Jenn. "Are we lost?"
Jenn looked at Yaelish and shook her head gently. "No, I finally found one of the signs of the village I was looking for. Though, it wasn't the first I had hoped to see."
"What was the first?" Yaelish asked as she looked around.
Jenn instead shook her head. "No, it would have come earlier. This one is almost at the entrance to the village."
"Wait, we're there?" Tchisa asked, stepping forward, making Jenn wonder just how good the woman's hearing was, since she and Yaelish weren't talking very loud and Tchisa was about twenty feet away from them.
"Not quite," Jenn replied, a little hesitantly. "It's just a few trees that way."
Jenn pointed towards a place where a number of bushes looked like they were blocking the path. Which Jenn had to admit it was very possible they were doing just that. As from what she remembered, they weren't as thick when that carving had been made.
While Jenn didn't know how much time had actually passed, she was at least aware that it had been several years. It might have been more, but that really didn't matter. What mattered was that they just had a little more to go.
Jenn just hoped that they wouldn't need to leave a clear trail to the village to anyone who might just happen by, in order to get there themselves.
"Is there any opening we can use?" Tchisa asked as she looked at the bushes.
"Not sure," Jenn merely replied. "All we can do is just see if we can find an opening."
The first sign that Jenn had been looking for really was the bushes themselves. As she looked at them, she realized that they'd been walking by them for a while. If she hadn't been so absorbed in her own thoughts, she suspected that she'd have been able to notice them sooner. Otherwise it was possible that she'd have missed them entirely.
Assuming that they didn't camp by them when it got too dark for them to continue on.
The search in the bushes seemed simple enough, but Jenn couldn't help but wonder if they'd find a path through before they needed to make camp. The only memories she had of this area were of the child who had been killed by the carving that had nearly disappeared through time. So, she couldn't say if these bushes would give them a way through. It was possible that there was a hidden path that they could follow, but she couldn't bring herself to be very optimistic about it.
The light was nearly gone when they came across something that unsettled Jenn more than just not getting through the bushes. Which they hadn't yet accomplished just yet. Though, Jenn was getting the feeling that they might need to just cut their way through the bushes. That doing so would allow them through the wall of plants that looked like it had grown up to protect whatever lay beyond it.
What they found was a fire that had been burning at least a few days before they arrived. Jen wasn't able to tell if it was a cooking fire or a bonfire, but it was clear that someone had been by there. Although, there didn't seem to be any signs that there had been many people, even one was more than Jenn was comfortable with.
She hoped that it was from another band of bandits, though she doubted she'd be that lucky. Her only hope was that this was as close to the hidden village as whoever lit the fire had gotten. That the village was still undisturbed.
"What's this mean?" Tchisa asked, looking at Jenn, like she should know the answer.
"It means we'll be camping here," Jenn replied, not wanting to voice her concerns. If only to try and keep them from being made manifest by voicing them.
Even though she didn't believe that would actually happen, at that particular moment, she couldn't help but feel her heart seized with the fear that it could be true. That voicing her worries would somehow make them real rather than how reality had it right then.
"Are you worried about who might have had a fire here?"
Jenn shook her head. "Not really. Regardless of where they went after they were done here, it's not going to change our circumstances. If anything, it merely means that we'll need to be more vigilant in case they're still close by."
Tchisa sighed. "You know, there's a rumor that I heard a while ago, but never cared to verify it."
"No time for rumors," Jenn answered a little impatiently, as she turned to Yaelish. "Let the others know that we'll be camping here. We'll only have a fire set here. So, they should pick where they'll sleep sooner rather than later."
Yaelish nodded and quickly started to pass the word along. Jenn wasn't sure if it was necessary, but at the same time, she worried that it wouldn't be enough caution.
Where these feelings came from, Jenn couldn't say. She didn't remember a time when she felt so worked up about anything that didn't directly concern her. While she didn't care to be in these woods with someone else around that could potentially want to hurt her, she couldn't say that she was primarily worried about that right then.
Instead, her thoughts were more about what might happen with those whom she had led to this point. Like they had become her priority instead of what had been her primary concerns just a little over a month or two ago. When it was first about her own safety and that of her adopted children.
In a way, she wasn't sure when it had truly changed. However, she was still determined to not let anything happen to those she was responsible for. Even if they weren't aware that she was the one really in charge. Though, she wasn't sure if she was just worrying herself to pieces for no reason at that moment.