The bandits led the trail through the forest as we followed behind. The stone hands that held the bandits down were reformed into shackles connected, forming a chain between the bandits. We had stripped them of armor, weapons, and any other valuables we could get off them.
"I still don't understand why we're robbing them," Sarjay asked me.
"We're robbing them because we're too rich," I told Sarjay.
He looked at the bandits for a moment and tried to think, but was unable to due to the groaning sounds of the bandits. All of the bandits miraculously survived including that man that ate Maven's cooking. Being able to live after eating that thing that came from hell should make him a saint. Truly a miracle that should be worth mentioning in every single holy scripture of every religion. I wanted to take note of this historical event but Maven attempted to strangle me. It took all of my lieutenants to restrain her. Do not make a woman mad. It was especially scary when she held that Heavenium kitchen knife and it was just directly above my eye hole.
"Remember when Asha mentioned that we look very out of place? I'm thinking we should find something to cover us up. Also, we only have gold coins. Some of these coins are even from nations that no longer exist. It's troublesome. We should only use these coins for emergencies," I explained to Sarjay.
"I'm surprised you noticed that." Sarjay shrugged, "However, why does it look like we're a bunch of slavers?"
"What are you talking about? We don't look like slavers. We look like people who bring justice!" I said. A bandit tripped and slowed the entire chain of bandits."Hey, you! Get a move on!" I raised my bladed whip menacingly to discipline him.
Sarjay grabbed my arm and exclaimed, "Wait! If we go any deeper into the forest, wouldn't we get lost? How would we get back to the road?"I loosened my arm and thought for a moment, "As far I'm concerned, I can remember every step we took from the road to here. A bit of sidetracking wouldn't be that bad. Besides, I told you, we need disguises and real money."
"You could remember every step we took but not remember the ABCs?" Asha laughed at me."
"You...you! I'm simply having a little trouble! Can we get this over with already? It's getting old, you know!" I stomped my feet and sighed. I felt like these guys' only agenda was to bully me, an Archlich! I moved to the front of the chain and walked next to the bandit leader. I asked her, "What are you Bloomy Towels doing here anyway? Aon isn't that far off."
"It's Bloodied Rags. Also, we don't share that kind of confidential information," She remarked. Dissatisfied with that answer, I turned my head towards my spymaster. He nodded and slightly opened the jar he was holding. One of the bandits had shellshock and fainted so the entire group had to drag him.
"Wait! Anything but that! We..we were going to steal an item from Aon! It was said that one of the Lords came down from heaven and bestowed the cardinals of Aon an item. So we figured it'd give a lot of money if we stole it!"
Another bandit confessed.
"Ullan, you dirty snitch! You were, and had always been, a dirty snitch!" The bandit leader hissed at the bandit who confessed. So, we were just a side meal, huh? For a group of bandits to be confident enough to steal from the Holy City of Aon, it would mean that Bloodied Rags was more than just a group of bandits.
It's a criminal syndicate spanning the entire western continent. A group of thugs simply didn't have the resources to just be able to magically operate everywhere while taking on risky missions. Unless, of course, this group of bandits were just idiots who thought they really could take on the holiest city in the Western continent. One way or another these group of bandits just had really bad luck to encounter us. After walking for a while, we were near the hideout. I sent Maven and some scouts ahead.
Once Maven and the others confirmed that the hideout was there, we left the spymaster and Asha to watch the prisoners. We didn't want to bring some burden to our raid and we certainly don't want these guys screaming for help to blow our cover up. We prowled among the bushes. Being skeletons, we were more flexible, thus we were able to do more ridiculous moves. I looked through the bushes I was hiding in. None of the watchmen in the hideout noticed us.
The hideout was well-hidden among the foliage. It looked like a military camp, with yurts and tents sprawled all over the place. There was a cave on the side of the camp, but it had a gate made out of magic. A few men were laughing among each other and some were moving boxes around. I looked for the strongest-looking person in the group and noticed someone come out of the largest tent in the hideout.
"Where is she? She's never been this late. Do you think those people from Aon found us out?" He grumbled at a few men. He was wearing plated chest armor with nothing underneath it, a large bearded axe was behind his back and his pants were made from scales. His face was bearded and his hair was a mess, indicating that he had not groomed or bathed. I looked over my companions and they were all prepared. I stood up from the bushes and walked to the front. The bandit archers noticed and warned me to stop. I had my hand over my pouch of coins. The bandits started to gather closer to me.
"What's this? Are you lost? We can guide you out if you pay us with everything you have, buddy," The large man threatened me with a smile. He had his axe in his hands, and he looked like he was ready to chop me.
"I'm not your buddy, friend. Also, you're mistaken here. You're the one being robbed here. Stand or deliver," I threatened back, scooping up some coins. The group of thugs laughed and the large man continued, "It seems that your head has a loose screw. Want me to help you by removing your head from your body? It might help."
"I told you, you're the one being robbed. Drop your weapons and give me your valuables." I clenched the pile of coins. Some coins dropped onto the floor. The bandits noticed the gleaming gold coins dropping onto the grass and they smiled wickedly. The bandit archers pulled their strings.
"You're insane. Everyone, disembowel that man!" The large man commanded. Negotiation was simply impossible if it was with people like these. Not that I would blame them. I, too, would think it was insane for someone who looked like me to threaten a group of bloodthirsty men. However, before the archers could loosen their strings, I tossed the coins with great power toward multiple bandits.
A buckshot of coins peppered some bandits and they were instantly killed or knocked out. The large man noticed and he charged at me. Contrary to his look, he was extremely fast. He raised his axe and dropped the axe's head onto where I was standing. I rolled to his left and poked his side with my finger.
"ARGH! That tickled!" The man angrily howled as he redirected the axe to where I was. I continued to dodge his attacks and kept poking him where his plate armor wasn't covering him. Each poke made him angrier and it was funny so I continued to do so.
Each poke just scared him more as the next poke could be a stab from a blade. Watching him struggle more against me was rather amusing. One of the bandits tried to sneak behind me but I scooped up some coins and slapped him with it. I could've just used rocks but I'm too lazy to collect them off the floor. I bent my body forward as an arrow flew by, hitting another bandit. Another bandit tried to skewer me with a spear but I redirected the spear to another bandit that was coming to me.
"You idiots! Kill him and not each other! We are the Bloodied Rags, for Geraldine's sake!" The large man angrily shouted.
Behind the group of bandits that were attacking me, I could see my companions were sneaking up on them. Maven tapped one of the bandit's shoulder.
"What? What do you wa-" When he turned his head, Maven slammed her fist at his face. His body dropped and the other bandits noticed they were being encircled. These fellows seemed to have a habit of being encircled. They should rename themselves to the Clueless Encircled.
My band and I started to clash with the bandits again until they were crowding each other like what happened to the bandits that attacked my camp.
"That's it! We won't go down like this!" The large man took out a piece of rectangular paper. He rubbed it hard and the paper started catching fire. The runes on the paper lit up and I heard a snap behind me. I looked toward the source of the sound and saw that the gate of the cave disappeared. There was heavy stomping.
"Boss, I don't like this…" Daggerless commented. My companions fell silent as they all looked at the cave.