Chereads / I Actually Love My Wife / Chapter 4 - Good ending?

Chapter 4 - Good ending?

The morning sun woke me up from the bed. I looked at the clock and saw, that it was 10am. I had slept for more then 8 hours. I sat up, not knowing what to feel. I felt hurt, both physically, because of Aurora slashing at my face, and emotionally, because of my feelings for her. I didn't know if I hated her or loved her and I couldn't tell what I really felt. All I knew was, that I was tired of everything. I got out of bed and dressed... 

While I was eating at the breakfast table, I tried to sort out all my feelings and thoughts in my head. I was still not sure, how I felt about Aurora and if I really had any feelings for her, or if all the fighting had just confused me. While I was still thinking about everything, the servants arrived with a note from Aurora. As they gave it to me, I opened the envelope and instantly recognized Aurora's writing. It was a letter from Aurora to me... 

"I will stay at my parents this week, i don't feel like fighting with you. You always said you already want a break from this marriage so... I hope you enjoy this time. 

Aurora" 

I read Aurora's letter and felt a punch right in the stomach. Aurora left me because she didn't want to fight with me. In that moment, I suddenly knew, what was important to me and I immediately got up from the table. I couldn't believe it at first, because this was exactly the opposite of what Aurora would do normally. But while I read the letter for the second time, I realized, that it was real and she really had left. I couldn't just let her go like that. But at the same time I didn't know, what to do. In that moment I decided, that I would go after Aurora. "Prepare my horse, as fast as possible!" I told the servants. They looked at me with big eyes, which only confirmed that my decision was unusual for them. But I didn't care right now. I wanted to talk to Aurora, so I headed towards the door... 

Aurora's parents were really happy to see me. They immediately greeted me with a warm smile, once I had arrived at the mansion. Their happiness made me feel even worse, because it showed me once again, how well Aurora's parents felt in Aurora's presence. As they saw, how upset I was and what a rush I was in, they immediately started to explain everything. They told me, that Aurora was currently at the garden, having tea with some of her friends. With a loud sigh, I headed towards the garden then... 

I arrived in the garden and saw Aurora sitting there with all her friends. Aurora was sitting there quietly, while her friends were talking. She looked almost sad and lonely. She didn't notice my presence and that's why I took the opportunity to listen to her conversation first. Only then would I step out of the bushes and show my face to her. The moment I heard what Aurora said to her friends, I felt like my heart would break into a thousand pieces... 

Aurora was telling her friends, how much she disliked my haircut. Apparently, she really liked my long hair, but didn't like it now, that I had cut it short. All of her friends were nodding in agreement and they were all mocking me and my new haircut... I wanted to jump out of the bushes and slap them all. The moment I heard the girls mock my haircut like that, I wanted to give them a taste of their own poison. But in this moment, the only person I wanted to see and hear was Aurora... 

Even Aurora was mocking me now. She was talking about how I sleep. And she was right, of course, because every night I imagined cuddling with her and sleeping in the same bed as her. Hearing Aurora make fun of me, hurt me more than I could have ever imagined... 

Aurora's friends then started to dig deeper into our relationship. "Do you love each other? Is that why you're together?" Aurora coughed once, before she answered. She was thinking about what to say, but then she finally answered the question. I was so curious about her answer, that I didn't even notice my tears, as I continued listening to their conversation... 

Aurora looks down at her cup of tea "I... I dont love him...". I stood there, in the midst of the bushes, hearing the words Aurora had just spoken. For the second time, I heard her say, that she didn't love me. And if it had hurt so much the first time, it hurt even more the second time. As if Aurora could feel it, she soon looked at the bushes and she saw me. I was standing there with tears all over my face. I wanted to scream and shout at her that it wasn't true, but I didn't want to ruin this moment between Aurora and her friends. So I left in a quiet pace... 

Aurora wanted to come after me, but her friends didn't know about our situation. Of course it would look strange, if Aurora would suddenly come after me in the middle of her conversation with her friends. So she finally decided to let me go and wait for me to come back later. But as I left the mansion, I didn't know if I could come back in that moment... 

As soon as I reached home, I shut the door of our bedroom. I knew, that I was about to break everything I found in our room. I couldn't believe, how Aurora could tell her friends, that she didn't love me. While I was tearing down all the pictures of us and ripping up our pictures and other things, I let out a loud yell. "I hate you!" I shouted, while I had tears in my eyes. In that moment, I hated Aurora more than anything in the world... 

But right after my yell, I started to feel guilty. Why had I said that? I mean yeah, I was really mad, but I still loved Aurora. I couldn't actually hate her. No matter how sad and mad I was, she was still the love of my life. And I knew, that after letting out all my anger, I would just regret destroying so much of our memories. So I looked at the destruction in the room and I started to cry even more... 

 

While I was crying and feeling sorry, I also realized, how bloody my body was. I had really destroyed everything that was in the room and in turn I had damaged my own hands really bad. But I didn't feel the pain, because at this moment, everything hurt so much more. My wounds didn't feel worse, then my heart and my soul. They felt like the biggest wounds, that had been torn open, as Aurora had revealed, that she didn't love me... 

I was on the bed now, lying underneath the blanket. I cried like never before, while I realized the whole truth. Aurora and I had been fighting since we were kids, but we had still cared for each other in many ways. But now she really meant it, when she said, that she didn't love me. I didn't know where we would go from here, if it was impossible for us to love each other. And I didn't want her to feel so bad because of this. I wanted her to be happy... But at this moment, I didn't have the strength to speak to her... 

"Damn you." After a few moments of being sad and crying, I just couldn't stay quiet anymore. Aurora had made it impossible for me to wait until later. I had to talk to her. My feelings about Aurora were too big for me to still stay quiet and wait. "You want a break from me? You don't even love me? Well you can have this, you stupid, selfish, good for nothing.." I wanted to yell at her and tell her everything that was bothering me about her. I couldn't wait any longer... 

I was so angry. I wanted to yell at Aurora for everything she had done. I wanted to tell her, what I really felt about her at this moment. But at the same time I loved her a lot and I didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore either. So I sat in the bathroom and hugged my knees, as the cold water washed over my naked body. The cold water felt like it penetrated my skin all the way to the bones... I cried even more, because I didn't know what to do. I loved Aurora and I hated her at the same time... 

The cold water hurt me, but I didn't care anymore. I sat in the shower and cried, because I was so lost in my thoughts. Aurora had hurt me, but I couldn't stay mad at her. I loved her and I wanted to spend time with her, but she wanted to get away from me. I didn't know how the fight could ever end for us and I felt like I was at my breaking point... 

I didn't notice, how Aurora had come into the bathroom and turned of the shower. I just sat there, lost in my thoughts of anger, guilt, sadness and love. I felt someone cover my naked body up with clothes, but I didn't look back, because I knew, it was Aurora. I was just thankful, that she had come to me now and that I didn't had to go to look for her. I still felt a burning inside and couldn't let go of all my feelings yet. So I just stayed there, while she kissed me on top of my wet hair... 

Aurora covered me with clothes and kissed me on my wet hair, before she left the bathroom. I was still so lost in my thoughts and the cold water, that I didn't say anything. But I liked, how Aurora had treated me. I knew, it was because she loved me and didn't want me to get sick and be cold. She cared for me, even if we just fought and maybe didn't love each other. But because of her affection and kiss, I still felt like she loved me... 

I took the clothes that Aurora had given to me and put them on, before I started to leave the bathroom. I felt tired and cold, because of the long shower. But I needed to talk to Aurora and I wanted to figure out, how this fight would ever end. I was still so confused, because I couldn't understand, how we hated each other, but still loved each other at the same time. As I left the bathroom, I didn't dare to look at Aurora for now... 

The moment I left the bathroom, I saw Aurora sitting on the floor in our room. She was picking up some of the shattered paintings of us, and putting them back in one piece. I could see, how she didn't want to look me in the eyes after our fight. But she knew, that I wanted to talk to her, so we couldn't just pretend, like everything was okay. So I walked towards her and sat down next to her, so we could finally talk... 

As I sat down next to Aurora, I took some of her paintings of us and started to put them back together together with her. We didn't say a word to each other, but I felt like we were communicating at the same time. We didn't want to talk about everything as it happened right now, but we both wanted to fix what was broken between us. So we continued to put the broken pieces of our paintings back together and this way, we were fixing what was broken in our relationship... 

I felt close to Aurora, more than I had felt in a while. And while we both tried to put the broken pieces of our paintings back together, I couldn't help myself, but to rest my head on her shoulder. Aurora was resting her head on my head and we were sitting close to each other. Suddenly I felt calm again. I still couldn't explain my feelings about Aurora, but as we sat there, I felt like I still loved her and wanted her to be happy. I wanted us to be happy together. But she said, she didn't love me... 

After a while of our pictures being put together, I sighed and slowly fell asleep on Aurora's shoulder. I didn't know, if Aurora was asleep too or if she was just thinking, but I felt peaceful. For the first time, I felt calm and content and my breathing became deep and slow. I felt Aurora's shoulder underneath my head and her body, close to mine. And the moment I felt her warmth and her hair touching me, I suddenly felt save. I felt like I belonged with her... 

I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked at Aurora, who was lying next to me. She was sleeping with her back facing me and I slowly moved towards her, so I could look at her face. I wasn't angry or upset, but I was wondering, if Aurora had really meant, that she didn't love me. So I wanted to watch her, while she was asleep. I wanted to see, how she looked at me, when she didn't knew, that I was watching her... 

I looked at Aurora who was lying there with her face in the moonlight. She looked so beautiful and peaceful. I didn't want to wake her up, but I wanted to enjoy this moment with her. I wanted to be with Aurora, even if she didn't love me at this moment. My love for her was still there and I couldn't ignore it. I wanted to be close to her and hold her tight, just like we did when we were kids... 

The moment I saw Aurora's face in the moonlight, my heart started to feel a little warmer again. I wanted to be with Aurora and for the first time, I wasn't feeling angry or upset about our fight. But as soon as I remembered, why we started hating each other, my heart shattered. I turned around, so I could look away from Aurora again. And after that, I couldn't sleep anymore... 

After two hours I was still laying awake in bed, looking at the ceiling and feeling all kinds of emotions go through me. I couldn't sleep and my mind was full of questions about Aurora. Did she really mean what she said? We had been fighting since we were kids, but we both still cared for each other. And we both knew, it was impossible not to love each other. But I wanted to hear it from Aurora directly and that's why I went out on the balcony, to be alone... 

While I was standing on the balcony looking at the night sky, I tried to figure out, what I wanted to say to Aurora. I wanted things between us to be good again and I hoped, that she would tell me, that she had lied, when she said, that she didn't love me. But I couldn't just ask her, because in this moment we were still kind of in the bad phase of our fight. So I decided to just wait for her to wake up, so we could talk... 

After a while I felt my body shaking and my teeth were chattering. I felt so cold and was sneezing and coughing. When I realized, that I had caught a cold from the shower earlier, I quickly decided, that I wanted to get inside again. But I didn't want to make Aurora notice, that I was out on the balcony. So I just tried to cough as silently as possible and I headed back to the bedroom, without waking her up... 

I felt really bad. I was standing there in the cold night, trying to not think about Aurora and our fight, but it was hard to ignore, as I felt my cold taking me over. I coughed, sneezed, felt like throwing up and had a headache starting to come up. I hated that I didn't just go to the bathroom earlier and took a hot shower instead of that cold shower. But I didn't want Aurora to know, how bad I was feeling, so I just tried not to wake her up... 

I didn't want to wake Aurora up and I felt really bad. I was shaking, because of the cold and I had put on some blankets. But the cold was still coming through and I just couldn't get warm. I tried to fall asleep again, but I couldn't. I was lying there underneath all those blankets, shivering and feeling bad. I couldn't sleep or get rid off the thoughts of Aurora. I wanted us to be close again, but she had crushed all my hopes by saying, that she didn't love me... 

I couldn't get warm. I hugged myself as tight as I could, to try to make the shivering stop, but it still wouldn't go away. I laid there in bed, with Aurora next to me and I couldn't understand, why she had said, that she didn't love me. I tried to get rid of my thoughts and the cold again, but I couldn't. My body was shaking and I felt horrible... 

I felt a warm embrace around my body. It felt so good and made me feel safe. My shivering finally stopped and I slowly opened my eyes again. And suddenly I saw Aurora, who was hugging me, while her eyes were closed. But I knew, she was awake now. She must have noticed, that I wasn't feeling well... 

I closed my eyes and my face was buried against her soft chest. I loved, how her warm embrace felt around my body. I hugged her tight, and put my head on her chest and I could hear her heart beating. I wasn't shaking anymore, because of the cold, and I felt comfortable. I just wanted to be with Aurora, be safe and happy with her. I didn't want to think about any of our problems anymore... 

After a while I felt my eyelids getting heavy. I felt safe and peaceful in Aurora's warm embrace and I felt so loved and cared for. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn't want to wake Aurora up, since I knew, she might have woken up to see how I was feeling. But she didn't say anything about it and just held me. And because I was so sleepy and tired, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and I started to fall asleep. Before I fell asleep, I whispered into Aurora's chest... "I love you." 

The sound of soft voice woke me up. When I opened my eyes, I saw Aurora hugging me and then I heard her words... "I... I didn't mean it... Diego... What I said to the girls this afternoon... I'm sorry..." But Aurora was quickly shushing me, as if she didn't want me to say anything back. But I was awake now, and I couldn't hold myself back... "What did you tell them? That... That you didn't love me?" 

She looks at me with her beautiful eyes, she mumbles " because we always fighting... I throught you think im the worse wife ever..." and then she leans closer .The moment Aurora was kissing me, my anger left my heart. I felt like I was floating in the clouds. Everything that Aurora had said before suddenly didn't matter anymore. And I felt like I wasn't in the cold anymore, I felt warm because of her love... "I would never think you're the worst wife ever, Aurora... You're the love of my life... We fight, because we love each other and we want things to be good between us... But I don't want to lose you... I want us to be happy..." 

I took Aurora in my arms and kissed her back. I loved to feel her soft lips on my mouth and her body in my arms. I still felt the cold around us, but inside our bodies, we were warm and full of life. And there was nothing we couldn't overcome together. As my love for her filled me up, I also wanted to tell her something... "I love you, Aurora... I really do... I just didn't realize, how much, until today... So promise me, that you will never say again, that you don't love me..." 

She smiles and pinches me "But that doesn't mean we won't still piss off each other" I was laughing and kissing her, as she said that. Because I knew, that it was true. We would probably piss off each other again, it just happens when you love someone. But in the end we had the love that held us together and that was the most important thing... I held Aurora tight in my arms and said... "I know, we will probably still piss off each other and make each other mad... But I will always love you and I will always care for you Aurora... I will always be here for you and I will always fight for our love..."