Chapter 18 Cherry
As I exited Berlin Airport, the first thing to catch my eye was a tall, dark- haired man holding a huge bouquet of roses. When he found me in the crowd, a million-dollar smile lit up his face. Carl. I blinked, taking in how his mussed hair countered his expensive suit perfectly, giving him a roguish quality. He had texted me to ask when I got back but hadn't mentioned coming to meet me.
As I met his emerald eyes, I couldn't help but be dazzled by the desire in them. His lips dipped down, and he planted a lingering kiss on mine. "God, I missed you," he whispered, eliciting a smile from me.
"I was only gone a week," I said, taking in the massive bunch of flowers in his arms. "These must have cost a fortune. You shouldn't have," I told him, even as I enjoyed the heady perfume that wafted around me as he gifted them to me.
"I told you, I missed you," he said, stealing another kiss from me before taking my trolley bag and packing it into the boot.
Opening the passenger door, he helped me in.
As he got in and pulled out, he asked, "So, how was Seattle? Was it a supplier you were meeting?"
I often went away to meet a new supplier for my design business, so it was a natural assumption for him to make. Other than the text I'd sent about when I was getting back, Carl and I hadn't talked since he'd last called me last… My heart quickened as I remembered again what Carl had suggested over the phone then: it was time to get a hotel room together, time to take things to the next level in our relationship.
I tamped down the fluttering feeling in my stomach. I still didn't know what I wanted to do about his suggestion. Instead, I focused on the conversation we were having now and answered as honestly as I could, "No. I went to visit my dad, actually. He lives in the city still."
Carl and I hadn't spoken much about our families. He knew I was from Seattle, while I knew he was originally from Brussels. We hadn't gotten to the stage of talking about meeting parents and the like.
"Oh, that's lovely, "Carl said. "I hope he's well?"
"He was." The urge to share something more meaningful with him about what had happened swept through me. I thought of how I'd closed off myself from my past lately. I didn't want to make the same mistake with my future. Maybe I needed to share more with Carl to know whether I wanted to take the intimate step he'd suggested lately. After taking a breath, I explained, "Although I've not seen my dad much over the last six years. Not since I left Seattle. Not since I had Fern, to be precise. So, this was kind of the first time I'd told him about her."
Carl's eyes widened. "Whoa, Cherry, that's heavy." His gaze flicked to me as if to check I was all right. "That must have been quite a conversation."
I nodded. Swallowing the lump in my throat. If Carl could only know how big a conversation it had been, along with everything else, like the fact that I'd had to conceal the identity of Fern's father.
"It was. But it was surprisingly positive," I said. "When my dad heard that he had a granddaughter, he told me that he'd been thinking about taking early retirement. He said he's going to visit us here and, in a year, move out to be with us."
Carl beamed at me. "That's amazing, Cherry. I'm so happy for you and Fern. And I hope I'm not overstepping the mark when I say I'm looking forward to meeting him too."
Surprise flitted through me. We hadn't spoken about family or other such serious things before, so to hear Carl say that he wanted to meet my dad was unexpected. But then again, I'd always been so closed off, the learned habits of having to be secretive, perhaps ingraining themselves too much in my behavior.
As Carl drove us effortlessly through the city streets, passing the modernist buildings and its city dwellers, who wore daring European designs, I couldn't help but feel bolder myself.
"You're not overstepping, Carl. I'm looking forward to introducing my boyfriend to him, too," I said sincerely.
He moved a hand from the steering wheel and laid a hand on my bare knee. "Boyfriend? So I've finally got you to go steady with me?" He joked, but I heard the underlying question in his voice. Was I ready to take our relationship to the next level, to commit to him fully?
The sensation of his hand on my skin sent a ripple of desire through me. Again the realization hit me that I'd been the one holding back from my relationship with Carl. It was time for me to commit to him. Also, I couldn't help thinking of the fact that Dylan had gotten under my skin so much back in Seattle. I had kissed him back, but I needed to move on from him. I needed to let him go completely. What better way was there than committing myself fully and intimately to Carl?
I answered in a meaningful tone, "I want to be with you completely, Carl." I knew he'd understood as his eyes dilated and trailed down my body.
Carl's regard left a trail of heat down my body, and it was a relief when he found a parking space on my street and turned his attention to me. His passionate kiss told me how much he wanted me. "When?" he asked breathlessly as we broke apart.
With my skin still heated from his touch and his breath on my lips, I said, "Let me confirm a time with Lara, and I'll let you know."
He nodded, his hair even more mussed from my hands as I kissed him. I couldn't help imagining it even more disheveled than it would be in bed.
"I won't come up," he said, "because I don't think I can control myself with you looking at me like that." A disarmingly sexy smile wound across his face, and my skin tingled with anticipation. I realized it wasn't yet three, and Fern wouldn't be home from school yet, so Carl's not coming up was probably a smart move.
"Call me soon, all right?" His bright eyes glimmered hopefully, and I nodded, a pleased smile on my face.
After Carl got my suitcase out of the car, he stole another quick kiss from me, and a few minute walk took me to my building. I lugged the suitcase up the two flights, grateful that I traveled light, then arrived at my door, only to be met by Dylan.
He leaned against the wall by my door as if it was no big deal that he was there. He was here. My heart raced violently in my chest, and he smiled, coming forward as he offered, "Let me take that for you." He took my suitcase easily as I stood frozen on the steps.
As he deposited my bag in front of the door, he asked with a crooked smile. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
My heart raced with panic, and then I remembered that it was only just three. Fern wouldn't be home yet.
Flustered, I got out my keys from my pocket and stammered, "I've got no coffee, and I'm so jetlagged. Let's go downstairs to the café." I managed to open my door and left my suitcase in the hall.
"Sure," Dylan said, sounding pleased.
I turned around, still feeling dazed by the sight of him looming in the doorway. I kept thinking that he'd disappear as if he were a figment of my imagination, but nope, he was really here. His tall, muscular body, which I'd pressed up against in the last few days twice, was very much here. His ruggedly handsome face and dark eyes held me with such attention that it threatened to take my breath away.
"Coffee?" he asked, a crooked smile curving his lips.
Heat flushed my cheeks, and I realized I'd just been staring at him. "Sorry, jetlag," I murmured lamely, hurrying out and following him down the stairs.
My nearest coffee shop was just next door, and both Dylan and I were soon seated at a circular table with steaming mugs in front of us.
I noticed Dylan still took his black as he had when I lived with him while I sipped on a hazelnut latte. I needed as much caffeine and sugar to get me through the shock of Dylan's sudden appearance. With difficulty, I finally wrestled back the memories of how intimate we'd been over the last few days and Dylan's declaration. Fixing him with a serious stare, I asked. "Why are you here, Dylan?"
He took a swig of his coffee, the cup looking so small in his big hands, and fixed me with his own serious gaze. "I've been waiting here a while, Cherry. Before you arrived, I think I saw your nanny and daughter in the garden outside your apartment."
My heart tripped over itself. He knew I had a daughter. My swirling thoughts snapped to Bert as I realized he must have told Dylan about my daughter. So, that's what he was doing here. He thought he could lay claim to what was mine. My expression hardened.
Curiously, Dylan's sober expression became gentler. "The girl looked just like me when I was a kid." He held my gaze, and his voice dropped to a murmur. "Is she mine?"
Uneasiness took hold of me, and I shook my head emphatically. "No," I choked out. "No… Fern's father's human." I stared down into my mug, unable to look at him.
"Fern," he said softly. "It's as pretty a name as her mom's."
My eyes flew to him, and again my breath hitched in my throat as I was startled at the tenderness on his rugged face. When I'd lived with him, I would have given anything to see such an expression on his face.
Thoughts of the past had me rightly hardening myself again, and I asked for the second time, "Why are you here?"
He sat back in his chair and said, "I needed a suit."
My lips twitched. "You don't need to come in person to get a suit."
An affectionate smile wound across his face. "I do if I wanted to see the beautiful designer of said suit."
I couldn't fight the heat that surfaced as he stared at me. I could feel my face turning crimson, and my stomach seemed to be doing cartwheels as the full force of Dylan's attention swept over me.
But my earlier resolve to move on from Dylan and the mistakes that had happened over the past few days had me saying, "I have a boyfriend, Dylan."
I thought of how I'd just committed to being with Carl fully and forced myself to be clear. "So whatever you think is going to happen between us isn't, okay? I've told you that already. I'm sorry, Dylan, there isn't anything more to say."
And with that, I pushed back my chair and exited the coffee shop without looking back.