It wasn't until night fell and the darkness covered us that I could feel truly safe. Regardless of how many hours had past, if the sun was shining down the spotlight was on me and I was susceptible to an attack. I needed absolute peace and quiet to feel like I was out of danger. But that was impossible. Each time the wind would pick up, my ears listened out for signs of another ambush. Faint rustling of the wind was now associated with something far more frightening than the mundane day to day that life I had experienced until now.
But when that sun has risen, we were back on the road.
Clearly every one had a difficult time sleeping last night, with the bags under their eyes illuminated by the sunlight. There was a certain peace that we had found in the capital which was taken for granted. Ignorant to the reality outside of our little bubble, the journey was assumed to be safe. However, assumptions can be a terrifying thing. Irrespective of the weapons we had for procedure, our minds were not ready to wield them. In this way they became little more than decorations we carried as a burden.
Today I carried them with more weight than I had previously. It became a desperate attempt to hold onto my life. My attempt at masking worry with nonchalance could be seen through with a glimpse if one were to look at my hand, nervously fiddling with the hilt at any given second. We were now on foot, as opposed to on horses, afraid of what would happen should disaster strike again. Luck is something that does not come around often. Should we be faced with enemies once more, there is no doubt that wasting time in dismounting to hide would be the difference between life and death.
Thankfully there was little more to do than survey the area to understand the state of it, and interventions that can be made to support residents. It was truly lucky that we had no trouble up until this point. Had something occured prior to yesterday, we might have had to abandon the plan and regroup. But since we were already close, the journey could be finished before nightfall and no delays were made. Stella, the team leader, split everyone up into groups of three for maximum efficiency. Each team consisted of one student who more or less remained on the sidelines or ran errands. The other two were part of the main expedition team, one scholarly researcher and trained knight who was briefed on the topic.
Despite my discomfort, I attempted to get along with my team mates Hank and Leslie who were a few years older than me. In all honesty I would have much preferred being snuggled up in bed right now, but things needed doing and sadly that meant I must also do my part. The fact that Hank and Leslie did not see me as lesser for being younger or less experienced offered me a great deal of comfort. None of my questions were to silly to be asked, nor were any mistakes due to my own inadequacy. They provided me with a safe space to grow and that form of parental gentleness was something I had missed greatly.
We were walking around speaking to residents one after the other, only taking breaks to eat or use the restroom. Although my legs were aching from carrying my weight for so long, they dared not take a rest. My steps were just as quick as they had been at the beginning, as my will to please my team mates overpowered the stiffness growing in my bones. They, however, did not appear the least bit tired. On the contrary, their eyes burned with the same passion I had seen at our initial meeting if not brighter. They had a thirst for knowledge that could not be quenched by a shoddy job at interviewing people. Every rumour, neighbourhood gossip, and changes in governing needed the finest of details, until nothing more could be extracted from people.
At first the information was of no use to me. While Leslie and Hank spoke to them, I found myself looking around us and busying myself with the various items being sold around me. After a few hours however, their passion had seeped into me, and I too became invested in learning more about the region and its inhabitants. The difference between the three of us lay in the fact that my passion was merely curiousity rather than genuine concern or good will. But that didn't matter when it came to gathering information. A busybody and gossip could garner as much information as a government official roaming the streets. What mattered was only interest and the ability to ask the right questions to the right people at the right time.
Life has more to do with timing and chance than I like to admit.
As the sun began fading to give way to the cold wind, my steps became heavier. Soon all of my energy was going towards my legs and I could not spare any to retaining information or even speaking. I would imagine responses but my mouth refused to move. It had gone on strike against the harsh working environments it was forced into, and I could do nothing but wait for it all to be over.
For much of the afternoon I trudged behind the others, gripping the hilt as if the sword could magically transform into a walking stick and walk me home. Most of the information gathered came from gossiping adults who celebrated the chance to stain another's reputation in exchange for awestruck reactions to their nonsensical stories. They were all so clearly exaggerated for added effect but as the saying goes, there is no smoke without a fire. So despite how outlandish some of the claims were, we wrote it down as though the words leaving their mouths were facts that had no room for doubt. The action of writing it all down pleased the middle aged adults far more than the young ones, who appeared cautious that their name may suddenly become tangled in all of this.