There was something about living for a purpose that no one talks about enough.
The next day, I was up before sunrise and took my medications carefully just as Doctor Trisha prescribed. Before the pack house came alive, I was halfway to the hospital in the back of a cab, clutching another bag that held a few documents I would use later in the day.
When I arrived at the Pack Hospital and walked into Doctor Trisha's office, she was beside herself with shock. Trisha was one of the few people in our Pack that respected me and addressed me by my title.
"Luna Selene… You're here,".
"Yes," I gave her a bright smile "I'm sorry I came without prior notice. I hope you don't have something important to do?"
"None at all. I was about to go home from my night shift but I can attend to you before I leave," she said.
"Thank you so much," I sighed with relief. "Now, it's about what you told me yesterday… is it true? Are you sure that the results were true?"
"Of course, Luna," she chuckled "I know for first-time moms who have been expecting for a while, it always comes as a shock. But don't worry, it's true and now that you're here… we can go run a scan so you'll see things for yourself,".
Some moments later, I was lying on an examining table beside a scan monitor and watched as she sloshed some warm liquid on my stomach before placing the scan machine on it.
"You see that right here…" she pointed to a tiny dot on the monitor "Is the baby. From the scan, you're about 7 weeks gone and I think that would explain the constant tiredness you complained about to me yesterday,".
I stared at the tiny dot on the monitor and my heart surged with joy. This was my new obsession. It would be the only reason why I wouldn't give up and I was going to cherish it for the rest of my life.
After that, I listened to Doctor Trisha Croon about what to do and what I need not to do and for everything she said, I was noting it down. When we were done, I asked her to recommend vitamins and foods I could take throughout the pregnancy and I noticed she was giving me a queer look but I didn't mind.
"And also, Trisha," I said at the door as I was about to leave her office "Can you not tell anyone about my pregnancy? Even Alpha Xavier… not that he would ask though….Let it be a secret between us…"
She narrowed her eyes at me and I quickly explained "I don't want to jinx it… I hope you understand,".
She gave me her word before I slipped out of her office.
I was preparing upfront since I didn't know where I would go when I left. I wanted to make sure I could take care of my baby. After that, I went to the pharmacy and got all the supplements and medications she recommended.
By the time, I finished from the hospital, I was worn out. The adrenaline I had felt this morning had dispersed, coupled with the pregnancy symptoms and my natural weakness, all I wanted to do at this point was to go home to my bed but I couldn't yet.
I took a ride to the bank. I was going to get a card for my account where all my Luna salary has been deposited for seven years. There was no reason for me to spend the money. Since Xavier catered for all our finances and I wasn't a spender… but now, I was so grateful that I did that.
The money was a lot and I knew it would suffice for at least three years before I'm able to get a job. I wanted to give my child the best. I stopped at the Pack courthouse to pick up a divorce agreement form. I had gone disguised so the clerk didn't pay much attention to me when I mumbled that I was divorcing my husband because of abuse.
I left the courthouse, practically wheezing for air… and constantly chewing on the wild blueberries, Xavier had given me yesterday. It didn't help much but it gave me short doses of strength.
My next stop was the market and I didn't take long since I knew what I wanted exactly I shopped for some new clothes for myself with Xavier's card…he owed me that much. Thereafter, I picked out the materials for the ritual I would be holding tonight.
My final stop was at the Population and Statistics office. Since I wanted to go far from the pack, I decided to go abroad. I was going to go either to the East or far North so I needed a passport.
Somehow, everyone seemed to be extra nice and helpful to me today. I didn't wait in the queue and was given VIP treatment. In less than an hour, I was done with the Population and Statistics department and headed for the pack house straight.
When I got in, I went straight to my room and laid on my bed and within seconds I drifted into sleep.
When I woke up, it was nearly midnight and there was a food cart in my room. My nostrils picked up the scent of the maid that served me the other day and also Xavier's which surprised me greatly.
I picked up his scent on my sheets an indication that he may have sat close to my bed. I felt a moment's weakness at the gesture and for a minute I wanted to dwell on the reason but I quickly thrust the thoughts away from my mind. It was all in my head.
Quickly, I wolfed down the food on the food cart, saving the fruits and some of the snacks for later today. I had taken the initiative to pay for a space at the airport and had stashed everything I would be travelling with there.
It was to make my escape easy. If I leave the pack house with a lot of luggage, it'll be suspicious and difficult to explain. When I was done eating, I filled out the divorce form, trying not to think as I went through the process. I signed my signatures on the spot meant for me, following up with my stamp.
After that, I carefully unwrapped the small plastic bag filled with items to help me cut off from Xavier completely. As it is with Werewolf custom… whenever mates wanted a divorce… aside from the official filling of the divorce forms, both mates had to reject each other.
They could either do it in front of the Pack judge or the presence of the Pack elders. Since I couldn't afford that sort of ceremony… there was a traditional but old method of rejecting your mate.
It was practiced whenever one of the mates felt like the other mate wouldn't approve of the divorce or refuse to reject them and it was mostly for wolves in abusive relationships.
Anyway, I spread out my clove seeds, some fried fennel seeds, two fresh bay leaves and a strand of my hair before me. I mixed the ingredients until they formed a smooth paste. Then, taking a brush I had stolen from Xavier's study, I dipped it into the mixture, then turned to the sandpaper spread before me and slowly etched out…
"I, Selene Thorne Steele, Luna of the Greyhound Pack – daughter of Alpha Thorne of the Golden Moon Pack and Wife to Xavier Steele – Alpha of the Greyhound Pack… reject you, Alpha Xavier Steele as mate and husband. May your mark, a symbol of our bond, seize to be potent from this day and onwards".
I laid down the brush, took a knife and slowly slashed it across my wrist holding it on the sandpaper as droplets of my blood touched it. The world reeled back and for a moment the room seemed to dim when I opened my eyes, the wound on my wrist had healed and the blood which was on the sandpaper had vanished alongside the words I etched.
"It worked," I said sadly reaching for Xavier's mark on my neck and wondering why it was still there.
I stood up and crept in that darkness to Xavier's study where I dropped the sandpaper alongside the divorce form.
By the time I showered and dressed, it was 6 am. My flight was in two hours but I wanted to leave so early so I would not bump into any familiar face. After sneaking out of the house, I took one final look at the pack house, swallowing the hot tears that blinded my eyes for a moment.
This was my security… this has been home for me for the longest time and I was scared of leaving but I had to think of my pup. No matter what, it didn't deserve to feel the hatred I had to put up with for seven years… So yes… I was going to leave and I had no regrets.
*8:25 am – Ace Airport, Greyhound Pack territory*
There was a delay in boarding and a lot of airport procedures until finally we were on the runway. I removed my seatbelt and peered through the window, watching the houses underneath become smaller as we rose high into the sky.
As I wondered if Xavier had discovered the divorce form and the rejection slip, the thunderous roar of the engines echoed through the cabin rattling the plane violently. My hands immediately settled on my stomach protectively as I looked away from the window to know what was happening.
"Attention passengers, this is your pilot and we've hit turbulence. Be rest assured that we're doing everything in our capacity to steady the plane. Please put on your seatbelts and await further instructions from us,".
I clasped on my seatbelt immediately and clung to my seat, until my knuckles were white with terror. The lights inside the plane kept blinking and a lot of beeping sounds filled my ears.
The flight attendants rushed into the first-class cabin, their faces etched with a mix of urgency and anxiety. Then, the plane started to descend…I could feel scattered shouts coming from other cabins and the pilot's voice above the chaos.
I closed my eyes as a small, painful smile settled on my lips. To think I had fled my husband's house in pursuit of freedom only to be trapped in this mess. I was going to die no doubt.
Maybe this was my punishment for leaving my cursed mate…after all… we were supposed to be bound to each other until the day we died. The fate had come with that condition… So, it was my fault that this was happening.
"I'm sorry," I cried with my eyes still shut "I had to leave… I couldn't stay. He would have asked me to kill my baby and I couldn't do it. Please, Moon goddess, you cannot punish everyone here because of me. Please…".
Still the plane kept hurtling towards the earth. The pilot said something about preparing for the worst and it'll only take a miracle to come out of this alive.
I thought of the pup in my womb and regret swirled in my mind… it'll never see the world… I wanted to meet it so much. Suddenly, the plane landed with a loud thud, the impact had me flying from my seat and in those final moments that I closed my eyes welcoming the darkness that teased me…
I prayed one last time for the safety of the other passengers and hoped Xavier would at least hold a memorial for me before he made Belinda his new Luna.
I thought about Lucius and I hoped he would not cry for me… before the darkness welcomed me… I thought about how I would have named my child Alpine… if I had it…
And then… silence.