"Sigh... What a mess of a club. What was even the Principal was thinking?" I complained as I let my cheek touch the table. Under me was a nice chair— a chair that I kindly requested from Lars after mine broke down.
I was both bored and annoyed.
After I scared Nedrak Albus, I talked a little bit more with club members before dismissing them for the day. They happily accepted, after all the mood was heavy. It was a good decision to come back later when everyone calmed down.
'I expected it but it is still surprising to see that Mother removed Lars's memories. After all, she was the one who put seals around my mind that acted as borders of mind. Deleting memories must be easy for her.'
While I was deep in thought, I sensed a presence coming my way. A familiar presence.
"Do you need something, Seraphina?" I asked without lifting my head. She was avoiding me for the last few days. There was nothing wrong with acting like this, right? RIGHT?
"Umm, no... But yes."
"...?"
For some reason, Seraphina was nervous.
"I mean, I want to ask something."
"Sure, go ahead. You are my sister, no need to hesitate for trivial things." I said before turning my face to her, still not lifting my head from the surface of the table.
Seraphina froze for a moment, then she nodded and asked, "...yes. Why did you decide to become the advisor of this club?"
"Oh, are you curious about that? Well, that is an easy question to answer."
"Then—"
"But you need to answer my question too, Seraphina. A question for question. Fair, right?"
Seraphina didn't reply for a whole minute as her eyes lost focus while she was calculating. Was there any need for calculation for a single question from me? That clear sign of untrust ached my heart.
'Am I actually untrustworthy?'
After a fraction of a second later, I nodded to myself.
'Yes, I should be untrustworthy in her eyes. I should have at least visited her or sent letters in the last six years.'
What was good to have a big brother when you don't see them, get no letters, or get no help?
'Fuck you, the past Caelum.'
While I was internally cursing at my past self, Seraphina answered.
"Alright. What is your question?"
I released a sigh of relief as my dear sister at least chose to trust me.
"Well well, I don't think it is too urgent. So, let's talk it over a meal or dessert."
"No tha—"
"I reject your rejection. I won't take any excuses."
"...but I have a homework to finish."
"I can do it for you for this occasion."
"..."
"..."
"...alright. I can do my homework later. The professor won't get mad."
"If he does, I can persuade him for you." I gave Seraphina a reassuring smile.
"Really?– no, don't threaten the professors."
"Then I can clean them up?"
"No! Don't threaten or kill them. You will get into trouble."
A small sliver of arc found its place on my lips as Seraphina worried for me.
"Why would I get into trouble? I can legally kill or torture them."
"Eh? How?"
"As an Inspector, I am sure I can find dirt even on children let alone middle-aged professors."
"..."
"..."
"Please don't." Seraphina's said with a deadpan expression.
'I think I made her angry.'
"Hahaha...I am joking. It was a joke. Don't worry I'm not a big bad guy." After saying this I got up with slamming my hands on the table. "Then let's go."
CREAK
Ignoring the crumbled table, we get out of the club room.
'Damn Principal! That fucker must be spending the money of the academy on his tobacco.'
At that time, I silently promised myself.
'I will find all of the dirt on you. How dare you cut my pay mercilessly?'
******
"Why are not eating, Seraphina?"
"It's just..."
[...feels strange.]
"It is just?"
"Nothing." Seraphina shook her head as she decided to not say her real thoughts but I already slipped into her mind.
'What is strange?' I wanted to ask but I decided not to. After all, her mind was going to answer my questions.
[Did I like these back then?]
"Time really changes the person, huh? You liked chocolates and strawberries when you were little and cried for them to me."
[Did I?]
Seraphina smiled lightly, "Yeah, people change over time. I guess my taste buds decided to evolve too."
"That is sad." I nodded, not giving a hint that I noticed her forced smile. "Then what is your favorite food now? Shouldn't we catch up on the time we have missed as the brother and sister?"
[As brother and sister... It feels so warm, so nostalgic yet at the same time so disgusting.]
'Disgusting? Why?'
"Favorite food now?" Seraphina blinked and her smile wavered. "I don't have one. As you remember, we weren't so free to taste anything in the home."
My expression darkened. Just because I was away from home, I forgot for a moment that Seraphina still lived in that cold, indifferent house.
"Sorry." I apologized immediately. It was normal for her to hate me and be disgusted by me when I was the one who left her alone without contacting her.
"You don't need to apologize. It wasn't your fault," Seraphina assured.
[It is your fault but I'm not the one who deserves your apology.]
"I don't resent you," She continued.
[Why did you leave me? I trusted you.]
"So, please don't be sorry."
[I wish I didn't have these feelings. I hope they will disappear.]
"..."
'Fuck me... I should kill myself— my past self.'
Every word uttered by Seraphina, who was forcing a smile, was a critical blow to my conscience. I felt like a shit.
I took her to a cafe and bought her pancakes with chocolates and strawberries — her favorite food when she was little — so that we could have a nice time like when we were little but it seems I didn't give enough thought to this.
"Now, I should go. Thank you for the desert. It was delicious." Seraphina thanked me before getting up.
[It was an unfamiliarly familiar taste and feeling.]
"See you later, Caelum."
[No...yes... I don't know...]
"Alright, see you later, little sis." I gave my goodbye to Seraphina with a smile as she turned her back and left.
'Fuck.'
The smile left my face.
Pulling the pancake plate of Seraphina —which was barely eaten — I stabbed the pancakes with my fork and brought it to my mouth.
That day, pancakes were tasteless.