Black is all I saw. A never-ending abyss that consumed my vision. Leaving me to be a speck that floated around it. My existence was meaningless and broken, just like the darkness surrounding me, but I guess even darkness has more use than a sentient voice that floats around in it.
00000
If I had a physical form, then maybe, just maybe, I could be of some use to something.
Anything would do at this point... I'm tired of being alone.
00000
The feeling of doing nothing at any point in time was something I got used to.
Let's rephrase that It was something my subconscious adapted to, while my consciousness seemed to fuck off somewhere when the update came out.
That's not the end of it either, as my traitorous mind thought it funny to torment me.
Sometimes, It gives me images of the freedom I could obtain with a body. It even makes me feel like I have one of my own, giving me hope, only for those hopes to be squandered as a look around brings me back to reality.
The torment didn't end there, as I would catch glimpses of light here and there, constantly leading me on before they disappeared. It frustrated me to no end.
One of the more constant feelings I'd receive was the stares I'd feel coming from the abyss. They felt awful and seemed to revel in my torment. Their gaze was slowly driving me insane... To the point where I was starting to question my very existence.
'WHAT AM I!!,' I tried to shout in anger. 'AM I JUST ENTERTAINMENT FOR YOU!!,' I howled In sorrow. 'Why... WHY CAN'T I BE FREE!?!, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE!?!,' I tried conveying again.
They watched me. No matter how long or far I drifted, they were still there, watching, gazes filled with unfound contempt and anger.
'YOU HATE ME, DON'T YOU!' My mind spat. 'SO ACT ON IT!' I tried saying. 'KILL ME!!' I roared.
The countless pairs of scorching gazes that didn't respond to my anger made me feel trapped, restricted and humiliated.
Sometimes, I'd try tilting my vision to see a glimpse of those who were watching me. When I succeeded, they would all disappear as if they weren't ever there.
It irked me to no end. But it also highlighted one crucial thing about myself.
It was starting to break me...
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My continued drift into nowhere was interrupted when I felt something trying to pull me. It was a weak, barely noticeable attempt, but it was there, and it caught my attention. Its pulls persisted, giving me a vague yet clear direction of interest.
In the distance, I could see something, a light. It was so very dull and flickered as if something was trying to snuff it out, flicking side to side so very violently that you would be hard-pressed to believe it fire. My mind pushed signals through nothingness to try and reach out to it, hoping it would bring something to this lifeless void, yet nothing responded.
My drift pulled me away while I still watched. It fluttered in and out of existence as the wind that couldn't be seen won, and the light snuffed out.
I continued on the path that led to nothing, wondering if what I saw was a fluke or something made up by my deteriorating mind to keep me from going insane.
Whatever it was, it gave me something I would rather not have.
'Hope' is something everyone has experienced at least once in their lives. Whether it be hoping for a new toy or hoping to get your dream home. Hope gives you something to look forward to. I don't believe in hope. To me, hope is something you tell yourself to lighten the blows you receive. Hope dampens your emotional spectrum to the point. You'd think you could do anything. You become so reliant on these false hopes of the future that you become blind to what happens around you.
But just because I don't believe in hope doesn't mean I don't have it. My false and so foolish hope would be escape.
Even if I disagree with the idea hope represents, I'll give it a light compliment because It always finds a way to give me something to think about. Something to ponder on. Something to distract myself.
00000
Some more time went by until it was felt again. That distinct feeling of being pulled. It was stronger this time, but I couldn't tell what direction it was coming from.
Looking to my left yielded no results, and looking to my right also held nothing. I tried to look down, but that just made me nauseous. There was nothing above me either. I wanted to look back as it could've been behind me.
My head tried to turn for a brief glimpse at the most, but it was fruitless, so I gave up and went back to drifting.
It's a shame, but nothing could be done about it.
The pull got weaker the further I drifted, confirming it to be behind me. The pull was gone a moment later, almost like it was never there in the first place.
'What a pity,' I thought as my consciousness sank back into my mind, going numb to the void around me.
00000
My senses returned a while later, as I could feel another pull to my right this time. Thoughts stilled in a vain attempt to grasp it, but it proved fruitless. Seconds later, the feeling was gone, and I was left disappointed.
I could only assume it got snuffed out by winds I couldn't see. Anger for said winds was growing as they had once again snuffed out the possibility of change.
My path continued like this for a while, feeling the pulls and seeing the flicker of light, only for them to disappear sooner than I'd like.
Eventually, my anger was quelled as I had finally caught another glimpse of the light. Seeing as It looked more stable than the rest, I could put a rough description together.
It looked like a CandleLight as its 'flame?' flicked side to side like it was dancing to a song that was only audible to its ears. The fluency of its movement was like that of water traveling down a stream, creating something called laminar flow.
It was mesmerizing, borderline hypnotic. So much so it made me want to watch it forever, but that wasn't possible as long as the invisible wind existed. It seemed to snuff out things it either didn't want or was too weak to be here, and it executed those rules with the utmost efficiency.
For one reason or another, It hadn't snuffed me out yet, but that might be because I was either- too stable to be snuffed out or those invisible gazes were stopping it from snuffing me out.
00000
My mind swirled with thoughts of what the light could be and possible applications the wind could have if controlled. I struggled to come up with a proper understanding of either before I was rudely interrupted by the invisible winds pushing me about.
My would-be body was spinning violently, and if I had one, its stomach contents would most certainly be empty.
With spinning so rapidly, I didn't notice the increase in Candlelights in the immediate vicinity.
Once I did become stable, it was hard not to notice.
The many 'wicks?' seemed to be moving in the same direction as me, or was I moving in the same direction they were?
Looking around a bit more didn't help further the answer to that question, so I opted to watch the spectacle before me; many Candlelights seemed to dance in tune with each other, painting quite the view.
00000
Consciousness started slipping through my fingers, leaving me to drift off to sleep, but I wouldn't complain, as sleep is the only reason I'm still sane.
Sometimes, I dream of places I've never been before- let alone seen, yet it feels like I've done both anyway. I don't know how I do, but at the same time, I do. It's weird, and I try not to think about it for too long because every time I do, I end up with a head-splitting headache that won't go away for what feels like a millennium.
This time, I saw a structure atop a tree, a very big one at that. It was green with an ugly yellow roof, and a red trim lined the pillars that held up that yellow roof.
'Why yellow?'
That would have been my question had the dream not faded just as quickly as it came.
00000
I woke up slowly, ethereal eyes slowly focusing on the blurry outlines of lights. The blur faded enough for me to properly observe my surroundings, which left me gawking at lights that seemed to fill the never-ending void, making it seem like it was not as never-ending as I pictured it to be.
You couldn't blame me for the reaction, as the one thing I had been in my entire life seemed to be gone. It was an odd experience, and if it weren't for the occasional pockets of void being exposed for a brief moment, I would well and truly believe it to be gone.
Unfortunately, that was not going to be a reality anytime soon.
After I was done gawking at the CandleLit horde filling my vision, I started to look around, trying to find a reason for them being there.
With a bit of observing, I noticed a bit of blue further out.
Squinting my ethereal eyes in attempts to find the source did me no good, so I opted to wait until my drifting brought me closer.
Ethereal eyes went back to looking around.
'There were more candlelights than I last checked,' which also came with the lovely lack of void pockets. 'That's good,' I was getting bored of the void anyway.
With the increase of said CandleLights, I also got the opportunity to observe them up close and to say they were peculiar would be an understatement. The symbols within the... 'flames?' were strange and didn't resemble anything I had seen before.
Upon closer inspection, I realized the symbols were floating in a golden gelatin-like substance rather than fire...
The symbols in them also seemed to vary from time to time, as they tended to change their shape every few seconds, locking them in a never-ending chain of change. I've also noted that when a shape appears once, it does not show again. That seems to go for the rest of them as well.
00000
Continued observation of them yielded nothing more of interest, so I went back to looking at the blue hue.
Watching it slowly brighten as I approached was odd... to say the least, as It changed color at random until I was just a few meters away from it, then it shifted back to its blue hue from earlier.
00000
Being surrounded by so many candlelights seemed to have dulled my sense of gravity, as for a while now, I hadn't noticed the significant increase in pull coming from the blue CandleLight compared to the orangeish-red ones. However, as I approached it, I could feel the difference.
I started studying the blue candlelight, keeping notes of the keen differences between the gold ones and it.
While they had a shape that was in constant motion, the blue one did not. It seemed to have its shape stuck in that of a vortex of sorts. It was also a bit larger than the rest.
That small study session must have taken longer than I thought because Before I realized it, I was there, watching with fascination as it swallowed the many gold CandleLights around it.
I didn't get to watch it for as long as I wanted because I was swallowed next, which, much to my surprise, didn't instantly vaporize me as it did to the CandleLights before me; instead, it sent me barreling through the gelatin-like substance and into a wall of azure blue gelatin. The wall rippled from the brief impact before settling back into its more solid state moments later.
It was a fascinating site to watch.
00000
My consciousness lay in silence for a while, just enjoying how the gelatin felt on my ethereal body. Comfort was the most prominent emotion that could be felt, but another was quickly growing, trying to replace the most prominent feeling with itself.
It was a strange sensation of growing that left me in a daze. My ethereal body felt like it was being set alight, and it only got stronger the longer I lay there.
I didn't have the mental capacity to worry too much as I was more interested in studying my blue surroundings. Azura Blue was the only thing that could be seen for what felt like miles, but that was most likely an illusion set up by the candlelit entity that swallowed me. Unlike the illusion, the vortex to my left dominated my attention almost as soon as I saw it, making it very hard to care about anything else.
But it alone wasn't enough to distract me from the ethereal body and mind craving for lights out.
Unfortunately for my curious mind, that was for a later study. Right now, my mind didn't have enough patience to fight the growing fatigue, so I settled on letting go of consciousness. Being very exhausted helped motivate that course of action.
Though reluctant, my curiosity eventually gave out, leaving me to doze off into unconsciousness.
00000
My regret sleeping was impalpable; mind-numbing pain and tremors rocked across my body in invisible waves, leaving me in a state of constant agony. I writhed on the gelatine ground, desperately trying to pry my 'Still Etheriale?' eyes open. They did not respond.
I instinctually moved the 'arms?' I had in an attempt to clutch the pain. Instead of how I thought they would respond, they promptly gave me a metaphorical middle finger; instead, they responded by flailing around like a fish out of water, not accomplishing what I originally wanted.
It would have caused me a great deal of embarrassment if I hadn't been in agony.
The writhing pain dulled enough, allowing me to crack an 'eye?' open.
Realistically, the site I was greeted with would have left a weak-willed person vomiting out stomach acids and anything they might have eaten in the past twenty-four hours, but I'm not weak-willed, nor am I normal; at least I think I'm not normal. But there's no need to dwell on that.
Horror and disgust would've been a 'Normal person reaction, right?' instead of that, I was left In breathless awe.
I watched the 'Not so ethereal' muscle build itself up, tendons connected, blood vessels bulge, nerves spread, and bones grow.
At that very moment, I felt like I knew everything there was to know about the creation of this mangled mess of bone and blood. Like how I knew where every atom would go before they were even there or how I knew every function the mangled pile of flesh was soon to be capable of doing; I felt the very fabric my existence was woven from sitting in the palm of my almost formed hands, giving me free rein to manipulate my existing structure, and like a kid in a 'Toy store?' I took full advantage of it.
Like clay, I could feel the mangled mound of flesh squish between my fingers, bending and contorting into the vision I picture. But just like a kid In a 'Toy store,' I was also restricted from doing much by a higher being. The fabric I had a hold of was being taken away, no matter how much I gripped it. And like a child, I was understandably upset as I only got to do two of the hundreds of changes I wanted to make to it. So, like a child, I kicked and screamed while doing my damndest to reclaim the fabric.
An audible rip could be heard as the once-whole fabric was split in two, one going away with the higher being and the other staying with me.
Though I had half of it, it wasn't all of it, and that left me missing the necessary information required to make changes to the... Something?
'That might be a problem in the future,' but, for now, I had the necessary tool to manipulate my 'Bodys?' structure, which was enough for me.
But doing that proved challenging, as changing the structure was significantly more difficult without the other half. Any change I tried to make was interrupted by something or completely random. So, I decided to figure it out later and moved on.
Putting it away wasn't too hard as it gave me knowledge on how it was stored; it is stored in the ethereal body instead of the physical one, so the risk of losing it was slim to none.
With my use of the fabric, time almost seemed to come to a standstill, if not outright stopped.
Which was a wonder in itself.
As fascinating as it may be, it wasn't a complete stop, only a stalled one.
And when it's all said and done, it wasn't me stalling time, but the fabric. Which, mind you, was now put away.
As such, I was forced to acknowledge the presence of my voice; ear-piercing screams were hard not to notice. Said screams were quite powerful, and the reason they were so powerful, you might ask? Well! Do you remember a 'While Ago' when I had the fabric In my eager hands? This is one of the two changes I made before I was interrupted. The enhancement of everything! That's right, and I mean everything. Even my voice, which was why it was making the gelatin floor around me ripple slightly.
And it had the unfortunate drawback of me not being resistant to it. Still-forming ears rang with vigor. Unfortunately, I also didn't consider the side effects of having both enhanced voice and ears and not coming up with countermeasures.
I screamed and screamed and screamed until I was sure blood started leaking out both ears and throat. The never-ending streams ran down my skinless checks and seeped back into the still-forming chest muscles. My throat spasmed like a rattle, and my ears started to hear color before both of them gave out, unable to take the strain they were put under.
I lay there in agony, unable to scream any longer, tears streaming down my mostly skinless face, causing it to burn in an unbearable cycle as the salty contents inside them tore the newly formed cells into microscopic pieces.
Through the agony of all this, I felt a sudden pressure build in my chest, growing at a pace too fast for me to fully comprehend. Unable to prepare for said sensation had left me wide open to the detonation that went off inside me.
My mind went blank as the resalting assault sent my body into more waves of agony; the pain was far greater than anything that has or is currently happening, unable to stop the darkness that enveloped my vision as it replaced the beautifully azure blue with dark undertoned black.
'Never again do I want to experience something like this if I had a choice...' and 'Is this the cost of freedom?' were my only thoughts as I descended into the pit of tar that was my dream.
Mind blank, vision blackened, but agony gone. This was a mercy of an untold degree. But even a mercy can only go so far before breaking under pressure, as what was once a nice escape became hell.
Dreams are easily replaced, as they say.
Watching my flesh and bone mangle themselves, with my chest bursting into sprays of color splattering, the ground around me with a crimson of untold depth. With movement constricted and screams silenced, I could only watch my body be mangled and mutilated by an unseen force, over and over and over again.
This is... just a nightmare... 'I hope'
00000
With a jolt, my body shot up into a cold sweat. Panting was all I knew for the few minutes I tried regaining my breath; newly formed heartbeats became steady once I regained the ability to breathe efficiently.
Newly formed eyes glazed over the newly formed body with contempt for the agony I was put through and excitement for the opportunities to come with it.
Oddities were most definitely present, and it's most likely my fault too; playing around with a torn magical cloth that could manipulate one's very existence tended to go bad most of the time; fortunately, I didn't end up with a missing lower torso.
Instead, I ended up with overtly pale, almost snow-white skin and legs longer than I thought them to be. Said legs also seemed to bulge with unseen muscle, making them look like lean marble sculptures with how defined they were. The arms were not excluded in that treatment either; if anything, they were the most noticeable feature visible on my upper torso.
The aforementioned upper torso, on the other hand, was excluded from the treatment my arms and legs received. While it still shared the pale coloration, it lacked the defined muscle my arms and legs had.
At the same time, it felt like I could mold it, shape it... 'Change' it. A strange sensation washed over me after that thought. But it left just as quickly as it came, with the only proof of its existence being that of my body contorting into that of a smaller variant.
'Well... this is new...' 'I bet it was the cloth.'
The smaller variant came with noticeable changes.
My crotch felt emptier than before, and the once flat chest seemed to bulge out slightly. The once dense pale skin was thin enough to see the muscle I had assumed was made of marble. It was not.
It was fascinating. Very fascinating.
Not only for the change in property that made up my body but also the fact that I had felt like a building was lifted off my shoulders.
Being the self-proclaimed researcher |since when?| that I am, I immediately began to try and understand how this sudden change came about.
It wouldn't be hard to figure out as I just needed to understand what happened or what was currently happening during said change, which, as I said, wouldn't be hard to do considering the only thing I was doing with my physical body was lay there while my mind was thinking of how my body looked.
Physical activation was out of the question, and so was voice activation, as I had not used or tried to use it since the screaming fit a bit ago.
So, that left the most obvious answer, being something to do with thought activation rather than a physical one. Considering I had not done anything while in thought, it would be further narrowed down to word activation as I hadn't done anything other than think.
'But what could the word be? The thoughts I had during the 'Change' were all about my body, which means it couldn't be abo---'
Before that thought could finish, the same sensation from earlier washed over me in droves, and just like last time, my body contorted into that of the larger variant.
With the change came the weight I had previously lost with the slimmer form, which had given me some comfort in knowing the variants weren't lost when switched.
00000
"Truly, fascinating."
The sudden sound made my body jump with shock.
I rose slowly before resting in a sitting position; no thought ran through my head, and not a muscle moved from the set position I had set them in, nor did I dare to breathe. My heart thumped in my chest like a 'steam engine?'
I listened for a while, waiting for something else to make a sound, yet nothing did. The atmosphere around me felt like it was getting denser and denser by the second, but that was soon broken as I couldn't hold my breath any longer.
My body's shaky breathing went unnoticed by no one but me as I inhaled eagerly.
I had lost to silence, but not too ignorance; a sharp breath I took reminded me of the sudden sound I heard a bit ago, which led me to realize the sudden sound was me or, more specifically, my voice.
"hehehehhahahahHAHAH!" Laughter poured out of me like a wave of unstoppable force, filling the once-silent area.
"hah hahaha! I was duped, hehe, b-b-by my voice, hehe, by my own, HAHAHAHAH!"
Laughter was heard all around, not stopping for what felt like ever.
00000
The sudden discovery of my voice also came with the unintentional discovery of my tongue. My lips became dry from laughing so much, and without thought, I instinctually used said tongue to rehydrate them, resulting in me pricking myself on the cheek.
It shocked me enough to let out an audible Yelp, not that I would ever admit that to anyone.
That most definitely caught my attention.
After conducting some additional research and assessments, I could confirm that my tongue felt rough, like sandpaper with tiny hooks, and it appears to be quite lengthy as it can stretch up to just above my eyes.
Finishing up my investigation confirmed three things. One: It was rough. Two: It was long, and Three: it was barbed. Running a finger up my tongue confirmed the last part and also left me with tiny holes in the very same finger.
Despite all this, not a single scratch or prick could be found on the walls or roof of my mouth.
"Yet another fascinating discovery"
00000
If I'm going to be honest, I'm more surprised about still having a voice than I am about my tongue. I figured it would have been permanently damaged from the screaming and all that; the same goes for my ears.
It would be a pleasant change to have something to listen to other than my thoughts, and I won't be complaining about that. Besides, it might help take my mind off the nightmares that I'm sure to have when I sleep.
But I suppose those are problems for another time.
00000
"Now, to deal with my current and most obvious problem, the inability to stand."
It's been challenging to learn and stand, mainly due to my 'sore muscles' and 'poor balance.' I attribute the second statement to floating around the void for a prolonged time I was in previously, and the other can be linked to the fact I only just obtained this body, so they both play a role in negatively affecting the previously mentioned sense of equilibrium. So, I suppose I should give myself a pat on the back for making progress despite both difficulties.
After putting in some extra effort, I managed to rise a little more than I had previously, Though, at the moment, my legs were merely poles supporting me with the assistance of the wobbly wall adjacent to me. Therefore, it was less of a standing position but rather a hunched-over one.
But I decided to count the hunch as a stand for my sanity's sake.
The next step after standing was going to be the hardest part. Walking. That was easier said than done, as I haven't even learned to stand correctly, let alone pair it with continuous motion. So I kept at it for a while, slowly improving.
It took me five days of relentless effort, but I finally achieved one of my goals - the ability to stand, albeit only for brief intervals. But it was more progress, so I continued, and with each successful attempt, my overall time limit for standing increased gradually. But even those wins couldn't distract me from feeling frustrated at my inability to stand yet.
00000
During those brief times of frustration, I learned more about my body and how it was far weirder than I thought it to be. One of the first findings was, of course, some of the densest muscles I have ever seen {but that wasn't shocking considering I had only ever seen my muscles}, which was then followed by my tongue; a newer find was that I seemed to have some very pointy ears, they aren't sharp, just, pointy. It's not the only odd feature to note, as there also seemed to be a layer of bone growing out of my arm.
The layer of bone that had begun to cover my hand was growing faster than you would think possible for bone. It had only started its spread and was already making its way up my forearm, but it appeared thinner than it would have if it had taken its time.
I knew this because the fabric I obtained provides me with any or all knowledge regarding anything bound to me, just like how it gave me the genetic makeup of my body. However, the way it was growing was unusual. I observed it completely enveloping one of my fingers, only to break apart and leave a small piece behind before moving on to the next finger. It was a peculiar process and a suspicious indication of the bone growth being more living than previously assessed.
So far, it's covered between my joints, with separate bone structures growing out of said joints. Making my hand look like a gauntlet made from bone, and I couldn't say I hated it either.
'I'll let you grow for now because I can't say I'm not interested in seeing what becomes of you when you inevitably become a full-scale set of armor.' I thought as I watched the living bone slowly making its way up my arm.
I couldn't help but smile at the site.
"It's sad how I can find the most fascinating things yet never have the material to test them more thoroughly."
00000
The vortex, as dubbed, is a swirling mass of gold that most likely gets its coloration from the golden Candlelights the blue one eats, but that's just me assuming this is where the golden candlelights end up when devoured.
Not very nice to think about, considering this is probably my way out, so for my remaining sanity, I'm going to think of this as a portal of some sort, preferably one that leads me to the desired freedom I'm searching for, rather than the endless void I was in previously.
00000
With great effort, I stood with the support of a gelatin wall. Slowly, I strolled toward the blueish-gold vortex while hyping myself up for what was to come. It was so terrifying and invigorating at the same time. " Would it tear me apart, or would it be the way out," I spoke with enthusiasm 'Why was I so excited? Shouldn't I be scared? But why should I be afraid?' 'It's not like it can do anything worse than I already experienced.'
It was a train of thought I quickly abandoned In favor of watching the vortex spin with color. The rotations that shifted in many different directions caught me in an invisible web of satisfaction as I watched them collide, making new patterns or causing ripples that disrupted the flow of all, which would paint a picture of serene beauty. It was mesmerizing, borderline hypnotic.
The feeling was interrupted when my body came to a halt mere inches from the vortex.
It's surreal. For so long, I've only known the void, but here I am now, with a body I can call my own and a possible way out.
My time in the void was long; how long exactly? I wouldn't know, but it's been a while. My time here has been short. Barely a week, yet it already feels better than the ages spent floating in the void. Right now, I didn't have to care about the stupid eyes that would watch me in the void. Here, I was able to get and do things I've always had a desire for. A new body, the ability to walk-to feel-to look-to touch-to speak, and even hear. All these things are something I would have never obtained if I stayed stranded in the void.
In a way, the blue candlelight has been the best thing to ever happen to me. It's technically my creator and even protector in some ways, and for that, I'm forever grateful.
"Huh? Am I getting sentimental? But why? I've only been here a few days, maybe a week tops. So there should be no emotional connection here." Before I could finish, I felt tracks of tears running down my cheeks. I raised my hand in surprise; I tried wiping them away, but that did nothing to stop them.
Not getting anywhere with that continued action, I let it be.
In some ways. I could understand the tears, but in others, I was oblivious. Though my time here was short, it was memorable, and that is something I 'hope' I never forget.
"Thanks," I spoke In a whisper.
Preparations are meaningless here, so I let myself fall forward into the vortex of golden blue, letting it guide my fate.
00000
Nausea was something to be expected, along with vertigo, and while I did receive a healthy amount of both, I was not expecting butterflies. Not literal butterflies, the metaphorical ones, you know, the ones you get when falling. Ya, those.
Don't ask how I know what those feel when about 90% of my supposed life was in the void; it'll just hurt your head-believe me, I speak from experience. Anyways, back to the butterflies. It was something both new and. 0ld?
Moving on, they were as gut-churning as the feeling I had a couple of days ago, or was that weeks ago? Who knows; either way, it was not a pleasant feeling to have.
Luckily, I didn't have to wait long for some reprieve, as the head I was in the middle of using for those thoughts hit the ground with a loud thud, relieving me of all the effects I was under and my consciousness. So that was a win, not the best kind, but still a win, so I'll take it...
00000
I had some pleasant dreams that lovely night. They were full of mutilation and decapitation. What a joy it was; I even got to see my face, In a sense. It looked to be more of a canvas than it did a face, blank and mostly flat.
I chalked it up to not seeing my face since I had obtained this body.
'I'll have to rectify that sooner or later,' I thought as I sat up from my rock-induced nap. Awake from my nap on the rocky surface, I looked around and realized that the only things surrounding me were stones. I couldn't recall if the long rocks hanging from the ceiling were called stalactites or stalagmites, so I decided to refer to them as long rocks for simplicity. 'I would have to research and clarify this information at some point for more accurate info on them.'
Long rocks 'as I dubbed them' liked to fall a lot. And I mean a lot. You couldn't take a single step without one to accompany you. It's like they were dogs; every echoing step I took made them gravitate toward my position without fail. They followed me everywhere, and a small one even managed to get a lucky hit on me; it hung too low and wasn't too sharp either, so no damage was done.
"This is so not the freedom I envisioned."
00000
My exploration was uneventful for the most part. It went like this. Get up, walk around, find a tunnel, proceed through it, sit down, rest, get back up, and do it all over again. Pretty simple.
Not even an hour after that statement did I find myself face-to-face with a sleeping reptile that breathes fire and has wings. 'This quickly turned from simple to life-threatening real quick!' 'Ok, maybe it's the worst situation, but still, like, come on, give me a break, I just got here!'
I stood there for a while, just watching. Its breath was steady, its movement minimal. Its tail hung in the air, swaying side to side, like a snake ready to pounce on its prey. I watched it with weary eyes, not letting it leave my sight for fear of its strike. Quietly, I passed the slumbering beast, doing my best not to make a sound.
Coming upon a tunnel was like a breath of fresh air. Assuming this was the exit and entrance, I quickly decided that taking my chances with it was far better than any chance that involved a dragon.
When I was sure there was a significant distance between us, I allowed myself to breathe. Feeling my lungs work was like that of an engine rearing to life. Greedily, they seized the air around me to replace what they had been denied.
My heartbeat thumped in my chest, pushing newly oxygenated blood throughout my body, supplying it to the most critical parts required to keep the body alive before distributing it throughout the rest of the body.
The frantic breathing came to a calm, allowing me to regain some semblance of control over my breathing pattern.
Strong gusts of wind could be felt as it blew wildly around the cavern, stirring up dust in its wake. This hinted to the outside world and how close it was. The goal has always been this. Yet now that I'm so close to freedom, I realize I didn't even know why I wanted to be free. Being so focused on my goal has blinded me in some senses, leaving me the same type of person I ridiculed when talking about hope. It's hypocritical but reinforces my stance on hope making one blind.
Following the path that led to freedom, I began to think about it again. What would I do when my original goal was accomplished?
I really couldn't come up with anything, not a single thing. That bothers me a lot more than it should. "I could do something..."
Being at a complete loss tripped me up. Always having a goal has made things easier by miles, but now the same goal I strived for all this time was about to be stripped away. I felt empty and lost, almost like my motives had been taken from me. It was a frightening feeling, one that might even compare to the feeling I had when I originally obtained my body.
Back in the void, I felt like an omnipotent being who knew all that could be known, but here, I felt like an ant that had just come out of the nest. Not even the random dreams containing memories could help.
Instead of dealing with the conflicting emotion, I pushed it to the back of my mind, locking it up so it could never be shown the light of day again.
Right now, my desire for freedom suppressed any unwanted and illogical emotion that reared its ugly head.
My speed doubled with the renewed focus.
Moments later, I was seeing more than rock. Green moss grew everywhere, leaving almost nothing uncovered. It was breathtaking, almost heart-stopping even. But everything good comes with a price, even if you weren't aware of it. The price I paid was blinding, and I mean literally. My eyes constantly attempted to adjust to the light but kept failing. The head-spitting headache I was instead given because of that was a nightmare to deal with.
00000
A few hours later, I was ready. With the headache gone and my eyes adjusted, I took my first step into a world unknown.
Being greeted by green as far as the eye could see was a spectacular site to witness. Even the breathing I was doing ceased for a short amount of time.
Forcing oneself to breathe again was rather straining. Nonetheless, I was able to do it.
With the brief slipup of control taken care of, I began to walk forward, admiring the surroundings. There was so much to look at and observe, like that red-winged creature a minute ago that unfortunately flew away when I got too close or the heard of 'dear?' that trotted across the path I was on.
It was all so "New".
From that moment on, I became addicted to the feeling of discovery and the sense of achievement I got from it.
"I could get used to this".