One of the habits that I developed while working as a deliveryman was that I answered all kinds of phone calls and checked messages. After the madman left for a while, I was lying on the bed with a body on the verge of death when I remembered my phone. Wondering where it was, as soon as I got up, the pain rushed from my tailbone to my lower back, and I let out a curse. I gritted my teeth, got up, put on my damn robe, and left the room.
The hotel room was as big as a house. After passing the hallway, there was a large living room, and I found my phone lying on the floor there. Why was it here? Then, I remembered at a glance. As soon as I entered this place, the madman pulled me and kissed me… Never mind. I quickly erased my thoughts and sat down on the sofa to check my phone as usual. The power was turned off. I was puzzled, and when I turned it on, a bunch of notifications popped up.
"What's going on?"
There were several voice messages that I didn't usually get. Remembering how to listen to voicemails, I keyed the password. Soon the first message was heard.
[Hello, Lee Baekwon.]
As soon as I heard the name, I wanted to turn it off. However, since I owed the manager from a long time ago, I listened to what he had to say with a frown on my face.
[I am the manager of Alice's Labyrinth. How have you been?]
I thought it's a very useless greeting, but another voice in the background of the recording gave the same opinion.
[Ah, stop talking nonsense and quickly ask about Jay.]
It was Alice's boss. His voice was louder than the manager who was the one recording on the phone.
[Sir, I'm the manager of Alice by name, so I can't be rude, without saying hello.]
[Yeah, that's right… uh? As soon as you called me yesterday, you told me to run over quickly because President Hwang came unannounced, right?]
[I told you to please run over quickly.]
[Oh yeah… what? Hey.]
And the recording stopped. There was really a 'hey' sound. I listened to the next recording, stunned.
[Hello, Lee Baekwon. I am the manager of Alice's Labyrinth.]
The moment I heard it, I thought I was listening to the same recording again, but the background sound was different.
[Ah, hurry up, ask about Jay, please. My Jay turned off his phone and I can't reach him, how can we have time to say hello to Lee Baekwon?]
So he left me a voicemail because the madman's phone was turned off? But there was some truth in what he said. I didn't say goodbye either. Damn, my whole body ached. Unlike me, who suppressed the pain inwardly, the boss of Alice blurted out without hesitation.
[In the middle of the day, he ran out of the company and didn't even answer the phone. My Jay is not such an irresponsible person! Even if he went to the bathroom due to diarrhea, he wouldn't have been out of touch for this long… Gasp, did he collapse while doing his business!]
To Alice's boss's astonishment, the manager quickly refuted.
[That's not going to be the case, sir. He wouldn't turn off his phone even if he went to the bathroom to do business, when he would need it most.]
[Oh, manager. Your reasoning has improved-]
[All I learned from seeing the boss's analytical ability to pierce the core.]
[That's right. I'm good at it. You're good at using your hands.]
The second voice recording ended with a not so poignant story. I summoned up my last bit of patience and listened to the third recording just in case.
[Hello, Lee Baekwon. I am the manager of Alice's Labyrinth.]
At this point, I thought they were fucking with me.
[Ah, never mind. Just get to the point. If you know where my Jay is, please contact us. The company said he suddenly left, so it must be a big deal.]
Not at all. By the way, this madman just ran out of the company? I couldn't believe it. I heard the voice of someone who was as incredulous as I was.
[My Jay is so naive that he can't even date because he only works. He would not skip work to play with his lover!]
It was just a recording, but I flinched automatically. Then the manager nodded in agreement with a strong voice.
[Of course. Lover? Skip? These words can never exist for Director Yoon.]
I couldn't listen to the recording anymore, not because I was annoyed, but because of my conscience. The boss of Alice's fierce outbursts were not funny at all.
[Then did he really collapse in the bathroom? Huh?!]
After that, I didn't even have to press 'end'. Suddenly, my phone was taken away. When I raised my gaze in surprise, the madman looked down at me with cold eyes.
"Who are you talking to?"
What was he asking it so scarily? I was dumbfounded and replied blankly.
"There was a voice message, so I just listened. Can I not call?"
"No."
I looked around in bewilderment as he answered so brazenly.
"Why? This hotel doesn't let you call from inside?"
He looked at me quietly and then opened his mouth again.
"Mhm."
"…"
"Get up. I was going to call you even if you weren't, your meal is ready."
"Hey. You're kidding… no, lying, right?"
I asked him sharply as he grabbed my arm and raised me up, but he led me to the dining room connected to the living room and kept talking.
"It's Korean. Are you fine with it?"
"No, you're lying right now, right? What, didn't you say before that you don't joke? Huh?"
I asked him angrily, but he just looked ahead and dragged me along. It was his face that pissed me off. It looked like he was holding back a laugh. I wanted to say something more, but as we entered the dining room, I was at a loss for words.
How many servings was this… I froze at the food on the large table that could seat 7 or 8 people. I couldn't take my eyes off the food while he sat me down. There would be enough leftovers for ten people to eat. How much did this food cost? Also, this room looked very expensive. There were also several rooms here too.
I looked around and picked up the spoon. Hunger hit me when the smell wafted into my nose. There were many side dishes, but I put the rice in my mouth first. Maybe because I was eating it when I was having a hard time, I could feel the sweetness of the white rice. I subsequently ate the tteokgalbi, the jeon, and the steamed fish. Of course, I was not picky, so I also ate the greens. Only after eating for a long time, I noticed him belatedly not eating and only looking at me.
"What?"
"I was thinking you are eating well."
"I'm hungry, that's why."
The more you cling, the more hungry I get. Moving the spoon while grumbling inside, I heard a question.
"Is it just because of that?"
Wondering what he was talking about, I looked up and he leaned toward me, resting his elbows on the table.
"You reject anything that's comfortable. No comfort, no laziness, no luxury. So I deliberately chose the best room."
'Deliberately.' I wasn't an idiot who didn't know what the word meant. So he chose a good room 'deliberately' to bully me? I had rice in my mouth, so I cursed at him with my eyes, but he looked at me with a smile.
"But why aren't you uncomfortable?"
I stared at him while chewing rice, then averted my eyes first. Then, without saying a word, he went back to eating. I had no answer. So, why would it be uncomfortable? I didn't deserve to enjoy a place like this. But curiously, I wasn't uneasy about this.
In the past, when I was lying in bed on vacations that happened only once or twice a year, I felt like I had become a sinner, so I was suffocating. Obviously I was in the dry air, but I couldn't breathe no matter how much I opened my mouth as if I was drowning. As I struggled, I sank into the deep water and jumped out onto the road when I felt the fear of drowning.
But even among people, I still couldn't rise from the depths. I wasn't afraid because this was the punishment I deserved for being indolent. The pain rather felt like the price of rest, allowing me to spend the vacation curled up in bed again.
So, indulging in pleasure in this good place right now, and having my heart pounding so hard I had to stifle it, required a price. But why… Oh, it must be that. I was not anxious, because I knew my future? Revenge would be over soon. Then I would really sink in the deep sea.
"I can't even read your thoughts, so why am I in such a bad mood?"
A cool voice woke me from my thoughts. I moved the spoon as if nothing happened, realizing that I had been absent-minded with my hands still.
"That is a useless sixth sense. You're not related to Alice's boss for nothing."
"Ha, what?"
The man incredulously, his face showing a rare hint of offense that I found rather amusing.
"You're related, aren't you?"
When I asked teasingly, his jaw twitched as if he were gnashing his teeth. Ahh, it was indeed fun to tease people like this, that's why everyone makes the kids cry like that. Of course, instead of crying, the madman in front of him twisted his lips and went back to the original topic.
"Answer me, why you are not uncomfortable."
"Why? I'm here because I'm hungry and I can sleep. To me, it's all the same whether it's a motel that costs tens of thousands of won or here."
"Is that all?"
There was doubt in his voice. I added, nodding my head nonchalantly.
"There is one more. The hotel bill here, I'll pay half. …What, what is that look?"
"What's what look?"
I just clearly saw the look on his face, the smile that just briefly passed across his face.
"You laughed. Do you think I can't even pay half of the hotel bill here?"
"You're delusional. After meeting the owner of Alice often, you resemble him more than me who is a relative."
Oh, this prick is really… He really delivers a counterattack properly. He taunted me with a smile in his eyes, just like when I made fun of him.
"Isn't it true that you meet often?"
Strangely, it felt worse than being cursed at. As expected, there was nothing good about meeting the boss of Alice often. I swallowed my sense of defeat and looked around the hotel. But how much was it really? Two million for a day? He cautioned me as if he had read my thoughts.
"Don't think about paying for the hotel, just finish your meal."
"I'm done. And I'll give you a million won, so don't be condescending with the bill later."
"… A million won?"
"Why? It's not going to exceed two million won for a night's sleep."
He slowly curled his lips and looked at me like I was adorable.
"Ah, yes."
His acceptance only grew my doubts. Why was he laughing like that? Was he happy that I'm paying half the hotel bill? Then I heard a clatter and he pushed the untouched food in front of me.
"Eat more."
"It's fine. I'm full."
"Still, eat more."
He looked at him with a firm voice.
"Why do you keep trying to feed me? I'm not a livestock you raise and eat."
The other guy stopped for a moment. Hm?
"What? Are you really feeding me with that thought?"
He laughed softly at my question.
"No way. What would I do fattening you up like a pig?"
I was still a little skeptical, but I knew he was right. He wasn't going to eat me. Did I really get stupid suspicions transferred to me from the boss of Alice?
"But you are a little thin."
I lifted the water cup and slammed it back down.
"It doesn't matter if I'm skinny or bony. You boasted that you could even fuck me into my decaying body when I'm dead."
The accusation was clear, but he seemed to enjoy it, his eyes glowing.
"You remember what I said?"
"I remember because you're a lunatic. What, why are you laughing?"
His laughter was burdensome, so I pulled my upper body back.
"I want to keep acting like a lunatic so that you will always remember."
'Remember', huh. Why was he saying this like it was important? Like he always thinks about me, wants me to wonder about him, wants me to always remember.
"Why aren't you smiling? Are you afraid to check how crazy I am for you?"
When I saw the cool gaze, as if he was in a good mood, I really thought that this jerk was not an ordinary person. It always made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end, knowing that this change wasn't all I knew. But people didn't know. They only see the guy wearing the mask of a smile.
"I just don't understand."
As I muttered calmly, he tilted his head in surprise, "Me liking you?"
How could he be so casual about saying he liked me? I wasn't really that shameless compared to the madman. I'm better than that guy, I concluded, but a nonchalant voice asked another question.
"Or you liking me?"
I hesitated, but looked away, not wanting to give away my reaction. Well, that was something I didn't understand either. So I murmured involuntarily.
"Is there a reason for love."
I cursed under my breath, wondering what the hell I was talking about. What the fuck, what love…
"No. Every love has a reason."
I wasn't the only one talking bullshit. I looked at him strangely, and he pushed a plate toward me.
"Eat the apple."
Without thinking, I picked up an apple from the plate that had been pushed right in front of me and put it into my mouth. Even though I was full, I was fascinated by the sour taste that spread in my mouth.
"What's the reason?"
"Love is an emotion that is formed when the intense bond and deficiency experienced in childhood remain unconsciously and you discover it in the other person. It doesn't just fall out of the sky."
I stopped chewing the apple and looked at him with puzzled eyes.
"Don't be ridiculous. When I was young, I never met someone who's insane like you."
"That's what Freud said."
"Who is that? Your American friend?"
His face hardened for a moment, but the answer came slowly.
"A smart Austrian friend."
Oh, living in the US, he must have friends from other countries. He wasn't bullied by the Americans, was he? I quickly threw away the most useless worry in the world and popped the other half of the apple in my mouth.
"No matter how smart your friend is, not everything is the truth. And you couldn't have met someone like me when you were young."
"No. But you are the only one who has the missing feelings that I haven't had since childhood."
"What feelings?"
"Guilt."
It's definitely a word that comes up to the point that it was tiring, but I couldn't take a breath in every time I heard it. He also seemed to know that this word always worked, so whenever he said it, his smile completely disappeared as if there was a bad feeling.
"Your guilt is irritating because I can't understand it, but it feels even more sublime because I don't have it. So on the other hand, I want to break it. Then you'll crack like glass. So I thought about it. I'd rather…"
He stopped talking and turned his gaze to the air as if thinking for a moment. I couldn't stand it and asked.
"What would you rather?"
"Later. I need to save one last move."
"Save one last move for Chairman Kim."
Before you go bankrupt and broke. I swallowed the last part, but it seems that my worries showed on my face. He smiled and got up from his seat.
"Is there anything you want to eat or do?"
"I want to rest. I'm tired."
"Sure. It's not bad to rest together."
I thought he was changing the subject, so I asked again.
"Do you really have one left?"
"Don't you, too? A hidden one that will bring down Song Myungshin."
I blinked my eyes in bewilderment, not knowing what he was talking about
"No? It's all that you can see. I don't have many cards like you. So that's why I said. This is my only chance, so I will definitely succeed."
"Don't worry. You will succeed."
And what about you? Can you succeed too? My pride was hurt, but I couldn't stop worrying. Still, it didn't come out of my mouth. But I guess I couldn't hide it all.
"There is another bedroom, so you can rest there… Fuck, I thought you said you were tired?"
He suddenly spat out an expletive, then stepped in front of me and grabbed my shoulder.
"Then you shouldn't look at me with those eyes."
"What eyes… mmph!"
My words were blocked by his lips, which suddenly pulled and barred roughly. After an urgent kiss that took my breath away, he raised his head and muttered harshly.
"What do you mean 'what'? Those eyes that are begging to be held."