How did I feel?
It was not sadness that gripped me the tightest in that moment, but anger, intense anger which overwhelmed me to my limits.
As I came to realize that I'll never have the power to save them, it broke me to pieces.
'If only I was earlier by a few seconds', I kept repeating this to myself.
I wanted to retaliate, to silence the guilt that was weighing down my soul, but it was no use. I couldn't prevent myself from trying again and again, only to fail yet again.
Worthless would be the right word of what I was feeling at the moment.
But then something strange happened the moment I arrived home. Amber was waiting at the entrance with a smile.
Although it took a while, I finally understood something.
Maybe it's because of the fact her heart is currently in my chest, but whatever she feels, I feel, almost like everything she was feeling in this certain moment, was all understood by me.
And right then and there, I felt both guilt and obsessiveness, it was like she was ready to accept whatever was coming.
Her next words what was shook me,
"It's okay, it had to be done, you couldn't save them from him."
So she says.
How did she know? Was she watching me? Or can she perhaps read my feelings like I do hers?.
If it's the first, then why didn't she help? She's the first progenitor, she's supposed to be strong.
I kept thinking to myself and at the end, I was unable to come up with a logical answer.
I isolated myself.
For the first week, I cried my eyes out, and then came the intense anger I felt towards the man who killed my parents.
It wasn't something I could fight, neither was it something I wanted to end.
Weeks went by, and I was still coated in this rage, I vented all my anger on everything around me, until there was nothing else to vent on.
Krista was with me throughout this stage and she watched me go from depressed to complete hatred.
I spent every waking day with her, which always ended up with story telling, where she would tell me things that happened in the past to try and lighten my mood.
At first, it was just annoying, but later, I started to recollect my forgotten memories, and almost everything that I had forgotten began to resurface.
How I got to be, how I gathered my progenitors, but yet, not a thing about how I ended up dead.
Although I did get to remember Amber, not much has changed about her, just like in my past life, she's still obsessive and selfish.
She once murdered everyone in my clan just because she noticed I was poisoned, I guess the word for her would be, she's crazy.
But I was never a fan of that, I would always try to straighten her up so she doesn't end up doing the same to the rest of my wives, and I succeeded.
Meaning, she must have a reason for not telling me Kong was after me, whatever her reason is, I need to know.
Moving on….
Life always has a way of hitting us in the face, while living peacefully with my wives, something happened…
I died, but I wasn't killed, it was something I did willingly.
A god.
His name….what was his name?.
Sarangi, sarangi, he was the god who gave me life, and the one who took it, but how?.
All I remember was I hated him, I hated him to the very core, but I couldn't hide the fact, he was extremely powerful.
The little knowledge I have on his god is enough for me to plan my next course of action.
Even in my past life, I had already made sure my moves were calculated, even if it meant manipulating a few people.
I want nothing more than to rip Amber in two for what she did to my family, it took everything to fight the urge this far.
But I need her right now.
I'm sure as time passes, my memories will return.
The only thing I remember was, to defeat this god, I needed the power of seven women, each having a piece of my heart.
The progenitors.
Once I have them, I can serve them as a sacrifice to also become as strong as the gods, but they need to be in love with me first, very very very, in love.
If I can pull all these up, not only will I be able to kill the god, my father, but I'll also be able to revive my parents and everyone else who was caught up in my selfish act.
I do remember a rule that states, if anyone kills a god, he or she becomes a god themselves.
Not only that, but everything the god possessed during his time alive automatically becomes the winner's.
Reviving my family seems within grasp, thanks to my memories flooding back, and also, the man in black.
That bastard.
From my past life, he was known as Kong, a devil, people who made contracts with demons and evolved from their human bodies.
We were enemies, he wanted to wipe out my kind, and I simply wanted to stop him. I guess, at some point we were friends.
Doesn't matter.
Right now, all I know is he's my top target, I have to kill him before he kills me.
This thought roamed my mind as I trained both my body and mind, owning my skills as days passed.
Not only was Krista helping by telling me the powers I used in my previous life, I was also doing everything in my power to awaken those possibilities.
It can't happen again.
I can't face Kong and die again, this time, I want to be ready, ready to kill him even if it kills me.
I kept unlocking more and more of my powers.
The power of the king as Krista called it, was multiplying like items in a game inventory.
Before I knew it, a whole month had passed, and I was trapped in my room all through, with no food, or water, even worse, no blood.
And then, I heard the knock on the door, even before it had resounded.
Turning my gaze towards the door, I heard her voice,
"Leon dear? Are you alright?"
The moment I heard her voice, I felt a ting of rage boil up inside me, but at the same time, she was someone I deeply cared for.
I sighed.
As long as I know I can get my parents back, I just need to keep Amber in line, I still need her if I'm going to defeat my father.