The look on his face became unreadable the longer I stared at him. He felt so foreign, but the nostalgic warmth was still there, lingering upon us, who were sharing the same blanket. I gripped tightly enough to hold onto that invisible fire until I could finally let it go after the storm.
Silence screamed around us before he could even answer.
"I just don't know," he said.
"You don't know, how?" I asked.
"When falling in love with someone, is there any reason behind it?" He asked. He turned his face towards me, and I saw a smile that left my soul five years ago.
I couldn't speak. I thought all these years—those past years—he fell in love with me because of my attitude, my cheerfulness, and my smile, but I never thought to hear these words from the man who broke my heart.
I smiled at him.
"What if there's a reason for it?" I asked again.
I clutched the only thing I could grip on before wanting to hear his painful words.
I knew from the start that it was already torn to pieces.
An arrow shot would have been great, but it felt like a thousand needles broke it turning it into millions of pieces.
I heard him chuckle as he put his long, white skin over his forehead, swaying some strands of hair that reminded me of autumn.
"Well, is that the way you view Raven?" he asked.
I raised an eyebrow but I shook my head.
"No…" I laughed to ease the tension.
I heard him sigh. He's now facing the firewood, and I can see the reflection from his eyes, it's still the same, shiny pieces of gems I could have had.
"Because if there's any reason for falling in love, then there's also room for a reason for falling out of love," were the last words he managed to say before the night took off its lonely sounds of water dropping on every corner of the cabin.
After our last conversation, he fell asleep because of the weather. I shouldn't blame myself but I couldn't help to. This wasn't even part of the plan, and my impulsive moves, made us stuck in here for the rest of the time.
It felt awful, and not enough to satisfy Raven's desires.
Shaking my head, I caressed the edges of Lucas' face, putting away the strands of golden highlights from his face, so I could see it better.
He had these unruly long and majestic eyelashes and long and sharp eyes. He had this unparalleled sharp nose, that I would always pinched, and lips that are irresistible to be kissed.
Everything about this man, speaks of the formidable creature. A man that I once worshipped.
"If you know Jasmine Rose, would you be able to say you've fallen in love with her for no reason as well?"
At that time, I felt envious of the woman that I once was, and the woman in this young man's present time.
I felt like I'd lost for the second time.
***
The night passed by, and the day came to a start, but the weather didn't change. The clouds went on its unusual shade of gray, with every heavy rain pouring down our place. I caught a few droplets on my hands and it began to be cold.
No one talked about having a typhoon in the previous days' weather.
I checked my pocket to see if I managed to bring my phone but I didn't.
I saw Lucas do the same and sighed.
"I guess we would be stuck in here for a while, Scarlett," I felt like he was blaming me for the words, but I just shrugged those thoughts off. Probably by now, Raven must have been comforting Sophia because the two of us are missing in action.
For the present time, I felt guilty. An emotion that I shouldn't have but had right now. Not because I put Lucas in this kind of situation, but because I acted impulsively and not according to the plans.
This isn't like me to begin with.
I felt like I was slowly turning to be like the one that died five years ago. I can't have that kind of thought now.
"So what do you plan on doing, Lucas? We shouldn't be stuck in here, there are people…"
"Then we should find some food here," he said. The kind of smile that never even bothered pointing the blame, he's the kind of person.
I gripped on my dress and sighed.
"Where do we search first---"
"No Scarlett, let me take care of the rest, you shouldn't move outside. You will get cold," when he said those words, I took a step back.
"Lucas, you're not planning to----" Before I could finish my sentence, he was already out of the cabin with the suit over his head.
"Just stay there and lock the door before I arrive, okay!"
"Lucas, you stay here! It's dangerous to roam around in the rain! You'll get---"
"I'm fine, Scarlett. You shouldn't worry about me, just stay there and I'll come back to you with our food. I promise…"
"I promise…"
"I Promise…"
The same words came to my mind like a broken record… bringing me back to the past.
Ten years ago
Seiko High School
"Lucas come back here! It's already raining! There's no sense to go out here!" I said gripping tightly his uniform so that he couldn't escape. But he managed to gently hold my hands and leaned in forward to me with eyes that shone bright like the sun.
"I don't want you to be hungry, Jasmine, so I'll even walk out of here to fetch you some food. I don't want my future girlfriend to be hungry," he chuckled and walked away as I loosened my tight hold on his clothes.
It was raining hard. Both Lucas and I fell asleep in the library, and no one bothered to inform us about the closing of the school. Thank goodness that the library wasn't locked on the outside, if it did, we would have stayed until morning.
We roam around the close and dark school. The only thing that was lighting our way was Lucas' phone. I have my phone but it had a keypad when he had a very high-tech phone, an expensive one I could only buy when I got to have work.
As we went to the exit, we saw how hard the rain was, and because it's Lucas that I'm with, I know he just wouldn't give up even if he would have to sacrifice something, just for the sake of his friends.
When he said the words, future girlfriend, I felt butterflies run within my stomach that I couldn't even run away.
That's why I loosened my grip on his clothes, and for the first time, I felt hot and sweaty when I was supposed to shiver.
I don't know what I have done, but the moment I regained consciousness of the event happening right in front of me, he had already vanished from my sight.
Rain only overruled my blurry vision and before something happened, I went inside the entrance door and leaned my back on the locker.
I couldn't help but pinch my cheeks a thousand times, before finally knowing that this wasn't a dream.
"There you are!" A familiar warm voice overlapped my ears, and when I looked at the door, it revealed a man gasping for air, with his right hand holding a snack while the other held two umbrellas.
Though he fainted before I could even say thank you…
Then the next day, we were both absent, and our friends apologized to us because of their prank, but they didn't even know that it would rain that night.
But we forgave them because they offered a lot of food when Lucas became sick the morning after.
"I'm glad that you're safe, here…" He spoke. I looked up the door, even though there was no sun, the light from the outside was enough to make me see a man who had been the same as ever but a very different man than before.
He was gasping for air, soaked in rainwater, with fruits on his coat, and eyes that spoke he was already tired and yet, he still managed to smile with those teeth that I had been charmed with.
"Lucas!" but right after setting foot on the door, he fainted.
It took me a few minutes to finally arrange the things. The firewood was still there, and because I already saw everything there was to see to him, I didn't hesitate to undress him and cover him with the blanket making him leaned over my shoulder.
A few minutes passed he was groaning like he was in pain. The second time I saw him like this since we were still in high school.
My hands started to shake as I bit my lips. The only thing that could save him like this, since we don't have any proper medication, right now is body heat.
This would be the first time I'm doing this, but I hope this would be worth it.
I slowly undress everything I have to and hugged him enough so that the groan he had experienced earlier faded when I continued to hug him.
We stayed like that as long as I could remember even after darkness had fallen over my sight.
***
"Scarlett, did we…?"