ne then, I get you've locked out everything related to your past, the past isn't what I'm after, it's your present and your future that matters to me, that's what I'm trying to be a part of..."
I know he isn't lying, I know he is being very sincere, but my head is refusing to listen to reason or feelings even.
"I know you feel the same way anna.... I know you feel...."
"Its fucking Savannah... I hiss angrily breaking him off mid sentence, and stomp off in a blind rage.
Nothing gives him that right to stand in front of me and talk about feelings and the past, what the fuck does he know.
I have let him take his anger out on me these last few months, I have let him get his fill from publicly humiliating me every day, I have paid enough for whatever pain he thinks he felt.
A large body steps in front of me and pulls me into an embrace, wrapping its hands around me.
I didn't realize I had started to sob, but now I find it hard to stop, tears and mucus dripping from my eyes and nose, I hold on to him tightly letting that sweet scent comfort me.
We both stand there by the side of the road, his hands around me hugging me close to his chest oblivious to the cars driving by us.
I finally settle down feeling extremely tired, he lifts my face to meet his eyes and begins to wipe the tears with hands.
I stay still for once not trying to run away from him.
He leads me back towards the school parking lot to his car and I slide quietly into the passengers seat as he holds the door open for me.
He stops the car in front of my house and cuts the engine.
"I'm sorry for making life so hard for you.... I'm sorry I..." I don't let him finish before exiting the car and banging the door shut.
I get inside the house and lock the door making sure he can't follow me in.
I want him, I know I want him so why is it so hard to admit it to him, to look into those brown eyes and smile.
Zachary had been the only constant in my life, the only thing that remained when every other thing fell apart.
I still remember the last conversation we had in that distant past that doesn't belong to me anymore.
That was when I started pushing everyone away, shutting out the world and everything in it.
He had tried to help, tried to understand but I didn't want any of that, I didn't even want him.
"I'm going to be in your life one way or another " he had yelled at me from outside this same closed door.
"Either as a friend or as an enemy but I promise you anna, I'm going to be in your life." I sigh slumping down on the kitchen floor, atleast he had kept his promise.
What is this sadness I feel?
This need for warmth.
I fold myself on the cold ground wrapping my slender hands around myself with my chin resting on my knees. I slowly drift into sleep..