What started as pleasure, as a warm breeze in the quiet summer, had become a burden harsher than what my pitiful shoulders could carry. The closest way to describe it was perhaps schizophrenia, but a hundred times worse.
"Look at me!".
Countless thoughts cloud your mind, you can't stop them. You can't make a difference between past, present and perhaps... future. You see energy flowing, it doesn't say what direction, you follow the origin and there is an infinite record of history that compels your eyes.
It is like reading the best book ever, you just can't help swiping pages.
"Ray, you have to look at me in the eyes! Stop for a moment!".
I could hear Ely's voice but it was so faint, almost unrecognisable when entwined with the whispers of infinite energy. Even if I wanted to stop, I can't stop, Ely... I'm reading the words of this book so fast, but there is more... and more and more... and it is starting to hurt.
It was then, during that junction of pain and pleasure that I felt a burning warmth in my heart. It was like being in a cold ventisca and having a small torch right in front, it was feeble compared to the cold wind, but if you put your hand too close, it would still burn you.
Still, I'm fire. What is a scorch to a lit-up flame? It soothed the pain in my head and allowed me to take a breath, and think... albeit slightly. My eyes opened and I saw her, standing there... holding both of my cheeks with an expression on the border of panic. Relief showered her when my eyes opened.
This wasn't the world I knew. Here, it is just us. Behind her, I could see a gargantuan sun shining the whole world with its amazing light, golden in colour with blazing flames irradiating shockwaves all over the void.
This is Elysir, this gigantic sun, actually... that's Ely's true form.
"Can you hear me? Please focus on my voice" Her forehead bumped mine lightly, I embraced her and tried to focus on her voice, casting the thoughts aside, her golden slit eyes firmly fixed on mine.
"I can hear you... a little"
"Ray, I'm sorry this happened".
The first thing she did was apologise as if it had been her fault. I think it was no one's fault, I don't even know what is happening to me much less to start imparting judgement on people.
"It is not your fault, Ely. Ugh, what exactly... is going on?" In the midst of my chattery, I felt the clouds in my mind start to recede a little, that's when I saw her. Standing next to Ely was a girl that I couldn't recognise, she was breathtaking but at the same time, dark and eerie. I looked at her eyes and felt I had seen them before.
"H-How are you here?"
Her presence shocked even Ely. The girl didn't answer but instead explained: "I have created a void membrane to isolate the energy. My grasp on the laws of the void is minimal, but this much I should be able to do" the girl explained and Ely nodded, both had a mutual understanding.
"Thank you, Ophis".
"Ophis?" I asked, and the girl walked up to me, trespassing the threshold and placing her hand on my chest. I immediately felt who she was, it's been a long time.
"We haven't seen each other in a while, cute snake".
Her lips curled up, "I hope this is enough to assist you. Your main concern seems to be related to the soul, I have no power in that realm of expertise, sorry".
"You have done well enough, Ophis. I'll take over from here" Ely said to her and then focused back on me.
"You have unlocked an ability you shouldn't have had this soon, Ray. You're not ready for it, but we can't erase it. It is problematic... right now, in order for you and I to talk, it took massive effort. I'm borrowing Amaterasu's authority, Ophis has isolated the energy around you just so your mind can have a span of breath, but that won't last long. All of this and the system capacity is still above a hundred per cent".
She explained to me that this ability was a sort of 'Omniscient power' that allowed her to see the origin of all energy in the universe. It was one of her maximum expressions of power but the requirement for this ability was that the user must have the mindscape of a multiversal god, something I am very far from attaining.
When Tsunade taught me how to feel energy, her energy... she mistakenly made me touch upon the same concept that composes this ability: Energy Records. And that triggered the ability to be unlocked ahead of time, something that the original Elysir didn't take into account when she developed the system.
"What can we do, Ely?"
I was not an expert, but I was relieved that those women had interceded to save me during this junction, I wouldn't have even known what happened if not for her.
When I asked that question, her countenance dropped a little, giving me bad vibes.
"It is not about what you can do; right now you can't do anything. It is about what I can do... and I only have one option. If we allow this to continue, you will lose your consciousness and it will take several millions of years before you recover it. As we are now, you have two options, Ray... I don't think... you will like either".
The voice with which she said that to me, scared me.
"The first option is that we allow the process to continue. Now that you have been taken away from the Earth, you don't have to worry about posing a threat to anyone else. You could be left here... and you would slowly but surely swallow the energy from a nearby star, the sun. It will take millions of years before you become a small star... some more millions of years before you become an adult star. And then... you may breakthrough and recover your consciousness, although by then... it may not be you anymore".
I had a hard time grasping it, she even giggled when she saw my lost countenance, but there was a slight tear falling down her eye.
"Disregard of time is one of a God's qualities".
"That sounds like a lot of time, Ely".
"Because it is, for your current mindscape. If you choose that option, it doesn't matter if it takes millions of years... dozens of millions of years. When you wake up, I will be here for you" She held both my cheeks and said, but I know she's not finished, there are more implications.
"But if I do that-"
"You won't be able to see them again. Yasaka, Hasshaku-sama, Anna-chan, Rias, Akeno... Japan, the Earth. Dozens of millions of years are plenty of time for them, Ray. The earth may not even exist anymore".
"..."
That option made me feel like a spec of dust, obviously, I didn't want that... but it sounded like the second option was even worse.
"And then there is the second option. I could seal my soul with a solar array in your mindscape to widen it up enough for you to handle the Energy Records, but by doing so... you won't see me again in a long time".
"NO!".
I held both of her shoulders hard, no option was good, absolutely none of them!
"That's why I told you, you weren't going to like it either" She sighed but I was resigned.
"There has to be a third option!".
"Dear, there is no third option, I'm sorry..."
"..."
"By sealing myself in your mindscape I can buy you time. Five years at most I can get you, but during this period you must rank up until you reach at least the Overgod stage. That's three ranks above your current rank".
"Five years... and then what? what will happen to you?" I thought perhaps it wasn't that bad, I would feel bad not being able to see her for five years, but I should be able to get enough chaos points to rank up three more ranks in five years. Hell, even if I have to massacre and predate a whole world I will do it!
"The moment you achieve that rank your mindscape should adapt and release the array, I will then return. But if you don't achieve it in five years... my consciousness will scatter, the array will be shattered and you won't have any other choice other than becoming a sun".
"..."
"And you should take into account... the moment you reach the True God Stage, the amount of Chaos Points required to rank up will increase exponentially, perhaps... a couple of millions to rank up after True God as those are already divinity ranks".
I grit my teeth, trying to keep those annoying thoughts in check. Both she and Ophis looked at me, waiting for my answer. I felt weak and pathetic, not because of my current predicament... but because I couldn't choose the first option right away even though that's what I should do.
If I choose the first option, Ely is not at any risk... I would lose everything else, but I wouldn't lose Ely. I love her, she's the love of my life and my wife. Choosing the first option is what I must do but then... I would lose Yasaka, I would lose Anna-chan, I would lose this new life I have built with my mom in Japan.
"You know, Ray. I have loved every single bit of time we have spent together".
"Don't talk to me like you're saying your farewells! I haven't decided yet!"
"I'm not, dear... I would never accept such an outcome, I believe in you~ but you must remember... I'm not the only one" she caressed my right cheek with her thumb.
"Lately I have started to wonder how she feels... she must be wandering out there, and she may not even expect you to come and find her, but she misses you and she wishes you were there".
"Ely".
"It is selfish for me to be here enjoying you while she is out there, suffering... I was not created for this. I was created by her to guide you and train you to become the best god you can be. And all I have done is selfishly love you and try to usurp her place, that's not good".
Each of her words hit me harder than the last, I also haven't been putting all the effort I can into trying to find Ely, the real Elysir whom I met in my past life.
"It is because I'm here, as long as I'm here... you can't focus on her. So maybe, just maybe... this is fate, this is how things should be. That's why I have chosen the second option for you, Ray".
"Wait!"
She placed both of her thumbs on my forehead and smiled.
"I know even if I'm not there, you will become a splendid God, perhaps the original me underestimated you, she thought you were incapable and developed so many fail-safes to make sure everything went according to the plan, and even then... this happened".
I engraved her expression in my memories, my voice went mute, and I was unable to talk when the blazing flames of her sun started to engulf me. She made me turn around and then I saw it, my own sun.
Completely pitch black like the void, with blazing eyes that shone brighter than her sun.
"This is my only teaching for you, dear... never forget what you are. In five years or before that, when you become an Overgod, I wonder how big this sun will be~".
She turned me back over and sealed my lips, my consciousness exploded like a supernova and I felt her fusing with me.
"See you later, Darling... I love you".