I can't take the fox out of my mind and that's no good.
My mom and I were in the bathroom taking a shower after she found me in a rather- eh… compromising situation. She was angry so I couldn't refuse. We were both naked as she scrubbed my back, we hadn't had showers like this for a while.
She's not angry with me, she's angry with Yasaka... she thinks Yasaka assaulted me which is not entirely wrong but still way more wrong than right.
"Ray-chan… what did that woman do to you?" This is the third time she's asked me. My mom stopped scrubbing my head, picked up a bucket of warm water and poured it on me.
"We were just playing, mom".
Yes, we were just playing… one of the naughtiest games ever. Her milk was so good; I was found in the most shameful of ways with that milk spilt everywhere. If I had to say what it most resembled, it would be condensed milk.
Now she's got me curious, are all Youkai like this or just Yasaka? I don't know but she is not at fault; she did nothing other than allow me to do everything I wanted. And boy... I did what I wanted; I went down bad on those breasts the moment I had the first sip, it was like a drug.
I drank it all, a bit ashamed to admit she even scolded me lightly for not leaving anything for her cute little daughter, I don't know if she was upset or not since she was smiling and blushing the whole time. I quite literally sucked them like an animal until nothing else came out. What do you want me to do when it tastes like condensed milk!?
She's been gone for less than an hour and I already want her to come back but for some reason, I feel like it won't be soon. The people who receive my massages get infatuated with me but they also gain a new level of enlightenment, focus and perspective. Yasaka's position is very compromising and now that she has a newfound power and clear-headedness she may start to take action instead of investing more time in me, but who knows.
Back to my mom, yeah she's not happy with my answer but if I tell her the truth I don't know what she (as Anubis) will do to Yasaka.
"Are you sure? If that woman did anything improper to you, you have to tell-!"
Before she stopped that sentence, I made my move. She's weak when it comes to kinship either because of my powers or just because I'm her son; I hugged her and rubbed my head against those massive jugs of hers that lost to Yasaka's in every sense... but they still held a special place in my heart.
"Don't worry Mom, nothing happened I promise. Yasaka-san is not a bad lady".
She sighed and hugged me back before leaving me to the shower area and opening the tap, letting the warm water rain on us, it was peaceful and relaxing, I know she still has it in her mind but she has to relent.
"Truly nothing happened?"
"Nothing that you have to worry about".
My life has become more complicated; the peaceful life I have got disrupted and it is likely never to recover as now a few factions are aware of our existence, concealing our identity was the best we could have done, but it is a shallow concealment equivalent to superman wearing just a pair of glasses...
Aside from that, my feelings are also a mess. This new life has brought forth surprises, pleasures, and powers but also feelings.
I never expected to meet someone like Anna in this life, such a cute little girl, she has gotten attached to me and I feel guilty in many ways. A part of me sees her as my daughter, another part as her older brother... but I don't know if I can ever be what she wants me to be.
I thought making some distance from her in the future would allow us to slowly drift apart and so... she wouldn't be attached to me any more, she'd continue her life, eventually find a lover... as much as I'd hate it... and live happily.
Until now; she's a youkai and a very dangerous one at that. Right now she may even be having nightmares about the incident. Her parents concealed this truth, and they likely don't know how to handle this either.
She needs me and because I love her dearly, I have to be there for her at least until she comes to terms with what she is.
Then there is Yasaka who just appeared and after a single massage, she's already manifesting symptoms of love for me, something that is not unusual but her nature as a Youkai or kitsune seems to be making her moves towards me more aggressive.
If I hadn't set a barrier yesterday evening, I don't know how far she would have gone... she's an enigma to me but I will deal with her later.
The most compromising factor right now, the one that's leaving me sleepless the most... is my mom.
I have sensed the subtleness of her feelings which were previously concealed beneath a shade of parenthood and the deep love of a mother. As of late, I feel that feelings have evolved and morphed into something else that's getting out of hand.
"You're my treasure… I don't want to give you away to anybody".
She whispered to me, holding me amidst the warm water which wasn't as warm as her supple skin. I felt a ripple and a small hazy light engulfed her... her body began to change starting from her skin tone which gained a dark tone like mine, her golden eyes turned slit, her black hair turned silver and lustrous and two cute bunny-like ears manifested.
"Anubis?"
"No, I'm Reina~"
"Oh?"
I was shocked. Prior to this, there was confusion about her fate, I was going to speak about this with Anubis but it is good that she touched on the topic on her own.
[We have fused... now that I have awakened we are two consciousnesses sharing a body. I created Reina to my image and she is just as capable of controlling this power as I am, although she lacks experience. She is me and I am her].
"She feels what I feel..."
[and I feel what she feels, we share one body...]
"... and one memory".
Their personalities overlapped, although I realised that only Anubis could speak in my mind like Horus but Mom, Reina, couldn't. I rejoiced, this meant that I didn't have to worry about my mom's security, I didn't have to worry about keeping secrets from her.
As I thought about all of this, she held me and caressed my cheek as if expecting something. I gulped audibly at how much she resembled Elysir now... although Elysir didn't have silver hair and her ears were more like that of a hound instead of a bunny.
Wait a second... if they're sharing personalities and memories...!
"C-Can you see what I see, Anubis?"
[We can...]
"We can..."
!!!
'So that means she knows-'
[We know...]
"...that you lied, Ray-chan".
Her expression displayed a degree of sadness that thrashed in my soul, I didn't want her to know exactly because of this reason. I didn't want to make her sad.
"We know what you did with Yasaka. Okasan is sad you know...?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to-"
It was then that much to my utter shock, she took my cheeks and kissed me.
!!!
'W-What?'
It was my first kiss in this life, I held her hands trying to resist with feeble strength and received the most clumsy of kisses, her lips moved back and forth, holding my wrists and putting them down until we both collapsed on the wet floor with the water still raining on us.
The kiss lasted... it was like she had spent a thousand years in the desert and my lips were her oasis, I reciprocated and oxygen became unnecessary. A part of my mind was transported to my previous life in Egypt after that fateful night in which I took Elysir on our first date. That goddess seemed to have so much knowledge about the universe, but so little experience about her own feelings... the first time I kissed her... even after her thousands of years of life, she told me that was her first time.
I would have thought it was a lie if not for the inexperience of that kiss, the same one that I'm now experiencing... with my mom.
This realisation made me separate from her, panting and entranced. I held her wrist and our eyes met without blinking, like neither of us was expecting the other to make another move.
We either dig in... or we don't.
"Ray-chan".
"W-We can't..."
That's what I said... but her lips were right there, moist and ready. I contradicted myself and dug in, this time taking the initiative to make her experience that a real kiss is, not crossing the threshold, merely standing at the line of division with half a foot at either side.
"Uhm~"
After that what followed was a tug of war in which we had to keep each other at bay. We couldn't allow it to become anything more than a kiss, not now.
"We have to prepare breakfast..." I tried to say amidst kisses, but she didn't let me.
"Y-Yes..."
With both our desires temporarily sated, we reluctantly released each other and continued to wash each other... without saying a single word. She blushed the whole way and her ears betrayed her. When I looked at myself in the mirror I wasn't much different. I could still hear my raging palpitations to the end.
We were in the bathroom of my room, I had my clothes in there but she didn't... she had to turn around to her room covered in just a towel and Anna was also sleeping on her bed.
"I-I have to go".
"Yes, go".
Her body slowly returned to that of Reina, my beloved Reina and before she stepped out of the room, she took my lips one last time on her way out, this time going as far as to stick her tongue in, literally tilting her way to the maximum in this threshold of morality.
She released me at last and rushed back to her room, I closed the door behind me and collapsed, touching my lips one last time and recalling that taste of strawberry toothpaste… what will I do now?
I can't just pretend this didn't happen.
'How am I going to face her?'.
**
**
'What have I done? What have I done?!'
I always wondered why there was never space for anyone else. Countless men have tried to woo me at work, meetings, bars, parties, and school meetings. I have lost, I couldn't ever do so much as to look at them without feeling uncomfortable.
For me... it was only Ray-chan that was important, I thought perhaps after he had grown up and he no longer needed me then I might try but until then, I just had no space for anyone else in my life.
As he grew up my perspective changed.
Perhaps... I was afraid there would ever come a day when he wouldn't need me. I wanted him to marry, have kids and be happy... but I didn't want him to leave me.
Why didn't I resist more? when I embraced him nude, when I kissed him once and twice... when I kissed him for the third time, w-when I let my tongue do the work.
Why didn't I resist more!? Why did I enjoy it so much?!
[You are me... I am you my desire is also your desire].
"Does that mean-"
[But don't confuse yourself, Reina Lux. Resist...? You didn't resist enough? No, you didn't resist at all. you wanted this, the love you're currently feeling belongs to you and I rejoice to experience it~].
"I wouldn't- I couldn't! he's my son!"
[Are you so eager for Yasaka to replace us?]
"Over my dead body, Ray-chan is mine!"
*RUMBLE!!*
I won't ever lose him, not to Yasaka not to anyone. I'm the one who must protect his heart!
[Go, Reina. Only one of us not being honest with her feelings is enough. This is our desire...]
"... and what we desire is..." (Reina)
[... to be always with you] (Elysir)