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Chapter 36 - Demons' Desires (22)

"Am I pleased to arrive here and find you two in the position I did? Not particularly," Katze allowed as Xarakas asked if she were angry, quickly healing his hand for him. 

"But you forget that I'm the mate of the King of Hell. Even if I don't know from personal experience what you two must be feeling, I did experience how it affected Shax, and it was much worse at the beginning, when he fought it. He didn't trust me, certainly didn't want me around his daughter, and his demon didn't take it well. I'm not sure how long you two have known about this and have hidden it, but I do know I walked in on what happens when you ignore your demon," she explained, unsurprised when Xarakas himself admitted he'd lost control.

He was clearly worrying greatly, however, and so Katze gently sat him down on the bed. "Take a breath, Xarakas. You aren't thinking straight right now. You don't deserve to die for this, no one is telling Shax, and I'm not allowing you to simply assume you know what Asha does and doesn't want. Her father does that enough, and she doesn't need anyone else making decisions on her behalf. You also aren't going to stop teaching her. It'd only create questions that neither of you need." 

She gave him an appraising look. "Anyone else in your position, having a demon with a claim to the princess as a mate, having marked her, would have encouraged her to make her claim as well and be fighting to have that relationship recognized, not attempting to put distance between you."

Xarakas remained quiet as she explained her own experience of being marked by the king's demon, nodding as she spoke. "I think both of us realized that our demons were interested in one another within a few days of our training starting," Xarakas explained softly, wanting to be honest and upfront with the Queen. 

"But this is the first time we've done anything... intimate, I swear. I think trying to control our demons just got to be too much. I'm just sorry that I didn't have more control, your Majesty."

He was surprised when she sat him down and attempted to reassure him, frowning at her as she both assured him that Shax would not be finding out and scolded him for attempting to make decisions on Asha's behalf. "Understood, your Majesty, I apologize," he murmured, looking up at her as she observed that anyone else would have attempted to make sure that they had their relationship recognized. 

"I know that I want to have a relationship with her, but I did this without her consent, and I don't want to make any assumptions about what it is that she wants. And I worry about what she'll have to go through because of this. If the king finds out, if she falls in love with one of her suitors, if I end up dying in the arena or the Tournament, if the High Priestess decides to do something to me… I just don't want to hurt her."