Asha shifted so she sat with one leg outstretched, the other drawn up to her chest, and as she met his eyes, she propped her chin on her knee.
"Truthfully, I invited you here because you were right that we needed to leave the closet, but I didn't want to leave you wanting, especially when you were being so attentive to me. I didn't have a plan, really, but I thought the bath could be a good opportunity for that. At the very least, we both stink and could use a bath."
Here, she hesitated.
"But now that I've had some time to calm down and think… I actually believe I owe you an apology for earlier. The fact that I was struggling with my demon isn't an acceptable excuse for pushing when you were clearly uncomfortable. And as if that weren't bad enough, it's occurred to me that you probably felt coerced when I told you to fuck me after the fact. It's little wonder you just tried to get it over with as quickly as possible."
She paused. "I do believe you wanted me, in the sense that your demon pushed you to, but obviously you don't actually want me. So… I'm very sorry for pushing you, Xarakas, and you have my assurance I'll back off starting now. Likewise, if you'd be uncomfortable training me moving forward, I'll of course find a new instructor."
As the bath finished filling, Asha turned off the water and stood. "Since I made you come all this way, you should bathe. I won't linger to make you uncomfortable, and you're of course welcome to use anything here. Take your time. And if there is anything else I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask."
Xarakas offered her an apologetic smile as he startled her, chuckling softly as she insisted he not answer her question, guessing the kind of response he'd give. "Fair enough," he spoke, unsure of what else to say to her, having never really found himself in this position before.
Although as she continued… Her words quickly had him frowning, especially as she spoke about coercion and comfort.
"What? No, that's not—" he started, although hesitated as he struggled with what to say. He didn't exactly want to tell her everything, especially when he was fairly confident she'd react negatively, but he recognized he needed to at least give her a partial truth.
"I'm sorry, I'm not… I'm not the best with sharing personal details of my life, so it might take me a moment to figure out how to explain," he apologized, taking another moment to consider what to say before speaking, slipping his boots off and rolling up the hem of his pants so he could sit with his feet in the water, gesturing for her to do the same.
"In my experience, my partners have only wanted one thing: for me to help get them off and for me to leave afterwards, regardless of what I'm feeling," he began, letting his legs swing through the water slowly in an attempt to distract himself.
"So I'm used to doing that: helping my partners climax and then taking care of myself separately, if at all, since sometimes it's not worth bothering. I… I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable with the way I was acting. No one has ever taken the time or consideration you had with me, and I wasn't sure how to act because it was something new."
Xarakas offered her a faint smile. "And I promise, there was no coercion on your part, even if your words could be construed that way. I genuinely wanted—and continue to want—you, but given the complicated nature of this whole thing and the potential disastrous consequences should we be found out or things go wrong, I wouldn't blame you for wanting to put as much distance between us as possible."