You were wrong, Vin.
He is not who you think he was. He's not someone who can give me things you couldn't give. We lack communication, and quality time. I tried, Vin. I tried to be consistent, I tried to open my heart, I tried to let him in. But it's him who doesn't want to. He is always just at the door, making me excited, but then he'll turn his back on me, and come back whenever he wants to.
The more I suffer from it, the more I miss you. The more I realize things. The more I see that you're still the best. That you're still the one. So, to readers who are reading this… It'll always be him.
The remaining photos of my bullies in the corner, the notebooks, I burned them all. The blades that I used to cut myself, I threw them all. My coping mechanism of scratching my skin until they bleed, I tried and tried and tried to stop them. It's hard, but I'm trying.
I cleaned my room so well, wiped the big body mirror, which where I used to look at and was insecure of myself. But now, all I saw was a bitter smile on my face, imagining his reflection beside me.
My tears are flowing down, but I promise, Vin, I'll try not to cry. I promise I'll move on. I promise I'll be someone who I want me to be, the real me this time. I promise I'll be happy. I promise I'll live my life to the fullest, I might still have anger in my heart but I won't let those people bring me down. I won't let them pull me back to the darkness I once was.
I promise I'll open my heart again, it might not be now, but someday, I'm sure. But wherever you are right now, please know that, whoever comes to love me, and whoever I love in the future, you'll always have a space in my heart that will never be taken by anyone.
He was once a ghost that lingers around my house, and follows me around. Then he suddenly went inside my dream.
I didn't have any photos of him, nor a perfect sketch of him. Our arguments, our misunderstandings, our laughs, the fun we had, our friendship for years, our heated relationship for months, his kiss, his hug, his touch, his stare, his hair, his lips, his eyes, his voice… all of it will eventually fade from my memories. I lied to my friends that it didn't hurt. I'm trying to smile in front of everyone. Without them knowing how painful it is. How I am longing for him. Tears can't stop falling as I write the last chapter, and epilogue.
But still, I'm glad that I wrote this. Not just to share this to everyone, but to let me come back to these memories when I'm starting to forget about him. Because I don't want to forget him.
All my Dreams of you will eventually just be a part of the Wattpad world, and generations after generations, this story will just be a fiction to others. But if ever someone out there had or currently having the same experience like mine, please know that it'll be painful, yet it'll change your life. Because it did to me.
And so, this is my story, our story. The story of a human, and a guy–a ghost–who went inside her dreams and became a big part of her life. The story of Princess and Vin.
Until our next life, Vin.
The End
—Sin.