When Jon turned three, he realized a cold and harsh truth; he had limits, far too much to make a significant difference.
And he had to be careful, his body might be three years old, but his ability to read as well as his intellect were intact, he couldn't afford to be too precocious or people would ask questions. Questions to which he wouldn't be able to answer.
Rhaenyra had left King's landing in search for a suitor, leaving Jon alone with his twin, his newborn sister and their mother. At times like this, Jon had realized that his father was a bad father, he never spent any time playing with his sons or trying to relieve his wife from the burden of being a mother of three. Alicent was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Heleana ended up being a terror, she cried more than Aegon ever did and the handmaidens and nannies weren't of any help to their poor mother, who had to rock her for hours in order to calm her down. Jon was distressed to see the woman that gave birth to him in such a state, she was sacrificing everything for them and had he been a real toddler, he would have never noticed all of her efforts and hard work. So he took it upon himself to relieve her as best as he could.
When Helaena had cried again, Jon had climbed into her cradle and had comforted her himself. However, he had greatly underestimated his little sister and the difficulty of the task. He was still three years old, his arms were short and weak and his body could barely support his own weight. Lifting his baby sister was hard enough, but rocking her by himself was impossible. So he changed his strategy, and proceeded to lay next to the baby and hug her to share his warmth with her.
It took some time but Helaena calmed herself down until she finally went back to sleep, Jon did not dare move though, afraid that he would wake her in the process.
Alicent had arrived in her apartments a few minutes later, and rushed to the cradle when she saw her firstborn lying next to his sister.
She was about to gently scold him when she saw her daughter asleep in his arms.
"Jonothor," she whispered, "What are you doing in here?"
"'Laena crying Mama."
Jon hated sounding like a toddler, but he was one… technically, so he had to maintain appearances.
"I wanted to help." he added.
A small shine of realization crossed Alicent's brown eyes, and a smile appeared on her face. She gently lifted Helaena's head to allow Jon to free himself, and picked him up to get him out of the cradle.
"Mama okay?" he asked when he saw the black circles around her eyes.
Alicent just smiled warmly to him, the way he had always loved to see her do.
" It's okay my darling, Mama is okay. "
Jon knew better though.
" Mama tired? "
In response Alicent let out a long yawn, it wasn't even the middle of the afternoon yet, and already, she was feeling her strength abandoning her.
As a man, Jon had never realized how complicated women's lives were, he had naively thought that since they didn't fight or train, they had no reason to feel more tired than men. Ygritte had been an exception because she had been a fighter that constantly needed to struggle to survive North of the Wall. But his mother's life was something else entirely. She had no support, no real friends, her husband wasn't dutiful towards their family and her children were hers alone to handle despite the help of the nannies and the handmaidens. Jon could only imagine how psychologically devastated his mother could be.
So he did the only thing he could do and swore to always do so; he gave her comfort. He wrapped his arms around his mother's neck and held her tight.
" I love you, Mama. " he said sincerely as he had dreamed to say so many times in his previous life.
He felt Alicent's tears flow against his neck as her arms tightened around his little body, then she broke, all the anxiety and loneliness that had gnawed at her during these past weeks were washed away by her perfect little prince.
" I love you too, " she whispered between her sobs, " By the Seven… I love you so much my sweet darling boy ! My pride… my joy… you're everything to me !"
She nearly collapsed on the couch as she kept her arms around Jon and cried and weeped as her son kept hugging her with what little strength he had. Him too, felt tears in his eyes, tears of happiness. He had often thanked the Old Gods for giving him a mother like her, she was kind, dutiful, and worked as hard as she could for him and his siblings. She was the only mother he'll ever have and he couldn't have asked for a better one.
He would do anything for her.
(-)(-)(-)
Rhaenyra returned to King's Landing far earlier than she should have, on the day Prince Daemon had returned from the War in the Stepstones as a victor.
Jon had been napping when his uncle had offered his crown to his father, however, King Viserys had insisted that his brother met his sons. Needless to say that Alicent had not been happy about that. Daemon's thirst for power was known at court, a few years back, he had been Viserys' only heir, now he was fourth in line behind Rhaenyra, Jonothor and Aegon. Alicent worried that the Rogue Prince would consider her sons to be a greater obstacle to him than the Princess of Dragonstone.
She had brought Jon and Egg herself, holding them both by the hand as they walked into the garden. Contrary to his older brother, Aegon was a real toddler, and the presence of so many people around him was making him nervous. But Jon, as dutiful as their mother, had taken it upon himself to reassure his little twin.
" Tank you, Yon. " Little Aegon said when he understood that his brother was helping him.
Even though, Jon answered with a smile, internally, he was conflicted. Aegon the second had been a lecher and a drunk, almost as bad as the fourth. The former northern bastard could not understand how the toddler that looked exactly like him could possibly end up this way. Aegon was shy and easily afraid, like any three years-old, what could push him to become an usurper and a pervert ?
Alicent took a deep breath when she saw her husband speak with her brother in law, she was afraid and nervous, Jon could say that much. On the other hand though, the Targaryen prince was curious to meet the 'Rogue Prince', a man he had read so much about when he had been the bastard of Winterfell.
Daemon was taller than Viserys, and stronger too, his muscles were easy to spot despite the red doublet and black sleeveless shirt.
" Ah! " Viserys exclaimed when he saw his wife arrive with his twins. " Brother, meet my boys; Jonothor the Precocious and Aegon the Shy! "
Jon wanted to scold at his sire for calling them that way, but he had to smile like a normal toddler; so he did. Aegon, on the other way, hid behind his mother's leg.
Daemon smiled, amused by his younger's nephew behavior. But he frowned a little when he crossed Jon's look.
" The Precocious? " he repeated with masked mockery. " What has he done to earn such a nickname? "
" His egg hatched on his first nameday, " Queen Alicent informed him with a fake smile. " And he spends his time taking care of his siblings… ALL of his siblings. "
She looked at Rhaenyra right after saying those words, the Princess of Dragonstone, who had been waiting besides her family for the right moment to make her appearance, graciously accepted her stepmother's offer and joined the family circle despite her father's angry looks.
Jon immediately let go of his mother's hand to reunite with his sister, Rhaenyra smiled when he did so and took him in her arms.
" 'The Lovable', would be a better nickname. " She claimed when she rubbed her cheek against Jon's. "He lacks the flaws of a common toddler, he doesn't cry and he is good at cheering people up. "
She then proceeded to tickle him, making him laugh and Viserys smile in the process.
" Aren't you a lovable little dragon? " Rhaenyra kept smiling as she accelerated her tickles.
However, before Jon could answer, a screech resonated in the royal gardens, and Ghost descended from the sky to everyone's surprise.
Ghost had grown in the past two years, his torso was now the size of a wolf, and he enjoyed flying far more than he ever enjoyed running in his previous life. He landed in the middle of the garden, frightening some guests in the process, then he ran towards Jon and Rhaenyra, and proceeded to rub it's head against the Realm's delight's legs as she laughed. Aegon hid behind his mother's legs while Viserys, Rhaenyra and Alicent were laughing at the young dragon's antics.
" I'm surprised you didn't chain it. " Daemon admitted as he was watching the creature's behavior carefully and curiously.
His brother merely shook his head.
" I intended to do so, but Jon refused to see his dragon chained. He cried and screamed so loudly that I had no choice but to release Ghost. Many among my court were afraid of the dragon's behavior, but Ghost was exemplary. His only preys were boars and deers from the King's Wood; and he brought many trophies to decorate his rider's bedroom. The Dragon Keepers keep saying that they've never seen a Targaryen bond as quickly with its dragon as Jonothor. "
" Is that so ? " Daemon asked, sincerely impressed. " What about young Aegon's egg ? "
" It hasn't hatched yet, but it doesn't matter. I'm confident that it will. "
Aegon didn't look half as confident as his sire looked, Ghost still scared him, no matter how friendly it behaved. Daemon noticed it with what could have been interpreted as a relieved look.
" Anyway, " Rhaenyra said, looking at her uncle with a smile, " congratulations on your victory. "
" Thank you, Princess. " Daemon answered while Viserys regained his angry frown and downed his cup.
A tense silence followed that brief exchange, and Jon couldn't help but wonder what was happening. Was it his new uncle ? He knew from Maester Luwin's lessons that Daemon and Rhaenyra ended up being married against Viserys' wish. Perhaps his new father could feel some kind of tension between the two that Jon was unable to feel.
Nonetheless, he felt that he had to break this icy silence before things escalated to an argument in front of the whole court.
" Uncle? " he asked with a genuine childish interest. " Can I see your sword? "
" My sword ? "
" Mama told me that your sword was legendary, can I see it? Please? "
Truth be told, Jon truly felt like a real child as he kept looking at Dark Sister's hilt. Visenya Targaryen's valyrian steel weapon was lost during his first life, but here it was, at Daemon's belt.
" Arya would have loved to see it. " he thought carelessly.
However, the thought of his long lost sister squeezed his heart like a rope around a neck. He had to struggle to prevent his tears from showing up.
His little ploy to ease the tension had worked though, all of the faces had relaxed.
Daemon pulled Dark Sister off its scabbard and handed it to his little curious nephew, who eagerly grabbed the hilt with its tiny hands.
He was still too young to properly lift a sword, even one made of Valyrian steel. So he contented himself with putting the tip down to examine it carefully. Aegon's own curiosity overcame his shyness, and he approached to look at the sword himself. However, Jon noticed that his twin was about to touch the blade itself, he quickly slapped his hand away.
" Yon! " Aegon squealed in protest as their parents frowned in shock.
" Don't touch the blade! " Jon scolded him. " Mama said that Valyrian steel cuts very well! "
But the younger twin did not understand what his brother had done and started crying.
" Your meany! " he accused as he wept like the three years old he was.
Alicent quickly grabbed her younger son in her arms, apologized to her brother in law and left to console Aegon and properly explain to him his twin's action, to make him understand that he was protecting him, not attacking him.
Meanwhile, Daemon had kneeled in front of Jon with a terrifying look and a curious smile.
" You're a sharp little thing, aren't you? "
Truth be told, Jon was afraid of his uncle, so he tried to protect himself by being the toddler that he was supposed to be.
" I'm sharp? Does that mean that I can cut? "
Daemon raised an eyebrow and merely chuckled, Rhaenyra did as well, but Viserys looked worried.
" With a sword, if you know how to wield one. " The Rogue Prince answered as he took Dark Sister from Jon's hands to sheath it. " Do I scare you, little nephew? "
The question had taken him of guard, Viserys and Rhaenyra were now frowning at Daemon who hadn't stopped smiling.
" Yes. " Jon answered honestly.
Now Daemon looked even more curious.
" Why ? "
The former Lord Commander of the Night's watch didn't know what to say to that. In truth, he was scarred of Daemon because of who he was, and what he had read about him in the history books of his previous life. Many maesters had supposed that the Rogue Prince despised his nephews because they had pushed him at the end of the line of succession for the Iron Throne and he was often compared to Maegor the Cruel. Had Jon been as tall and strong as he had been in his previous life, he would have still been scared of Daemon but would have had the strength, the sword and the skill to at least hold his gaze with courage. Right now, fleeing like a toddler was his only option.
" Because… " he hesitated. " Because since you're here, Father is angry at Rhaenyra. "
Now this answer broke Daemon's sharp smile and curious glance, he rose his eyebrows and got up, then, he looked at his brother with a mocking grin.
Viserys let out a sigh, he eyed his daughter and heir with annoyance.
" I'm not angry at your sister because of your uncle, Jonothor. I'm angry at her, because she came back without a husband. "
Rhaenyra flinched when he said that, she hadn't expected him to say it in plain sight.
" I can be her husband! " Jon claimed to defuse the tension. " I love her! "
His words didn't have the desired effect on his father who merely rolled his eyes at his antics, while his uncle was chuckling. Rhaenyra's heart, however, was filled with warmth.
She picked Jon up to hug him.
" If only you were older. " She sighed.
" If only, indeed. " Viserys added with a stern look.
The Realm's delight froze when she heard those words, for their meaning were not lost on her. And as Daemon was enjoying the show with a cup of wine, Rhaenyra immediately let go of Jon.
" Jonothor… I need to be alone, why don't you go play with Ghost? "
She tried, very hard, to be as gentle as possible. But the disappointed look on her brother's face told her that she had failed to hide her feelings.
" Okay… " he said defeated.
So he left, with a sad look and his small dragon by his sides. Rhaenyra felt bad, but her anger was greater.
" What did you mean by that? " She asked her father as soon as her brother was out of earshot.
" You know what I meant. " Viserys simply said as he downed another cup.
Angry and hurt, Rhaenyra left the gardens without saying a word, she fought tooth and nails to prevent her tears from appearing in her eyes.
(-)(-)(-)
That night, as Rhaenyra was escaping the castle to join her uncle on a little trip among the common-folk, Jon was dutifully helping his mother calming down a crying Heleana. But as he did so, he remembered the feeling he had felt earlier when he had thought of Arya. He hadn't known her fate in his previous life. Was she still alive when he had been killed ? And if not, how had she died ? He knew very well the monsters that men could become, had she been raped ? Murdered ? He would never know, he was doomed by ignorance. He didn't feel his own tears flow down his cheeks as he thought of his favorite sister's fate. And his heart kept being squeezed as he thought of Winterfell, of Robb… murdered at a wedding, beheaded and paraded with Grey Wind's head sewn on his neck. Of Lord Stark, his father, who never told him of his mother, yet welcomed him into his home and raised him as his son, him, a bastard. Of Sansa, sweet delicate Sansa who had dreamed of knights and songs and ended up being Joffrey's hostage. Of Bran and Rickon, his two wild little brothers who had been burned by Theon turncloak… He had lost everything but his brothers of the Night's watch, who ended up stabbing him for doing the right thing. And now… here he was, a Targaryen Prince with a new family, and a real mother, a dream fulfilled at the cost of his previous family… And Jon had shamelessly enjoyed his new life for three years without even sparing a thought for his first family. He never realized how selfish and despicable he could be, perhaps Lady Stark had been right all along.
Heleana had stopped crying when she felt her brother's tears fall on her cheeks, her purple eyes were wide in curiosity and wonder. Jon gave her a sad smile before a loving hug. He had been a terrible brother in his past life, he had abandoned all of his family for glory among the Night's Watch. He would not make the same mistake in this life, he would be there for his family, he would love them, cherish them and protect them all.
Alicent rushed to his side when she saw him cry as he held his sister.
" Jonothor? Jon? What is it? Why are you crying? "
He didn't answer, he couldn't tell her, so he let his head fall on her arm as he kept crying silently while holding Heleana.
Alicent didn't know what to do, except hug her wonderful firstborn and daughter and rock them gently as she started singing. Gods… How Jon loved her. She was a wonderful mother, the best in the World.
History be damned, Jonothor Targaryen would not be Jon Snow.