[Alex] Geez 2 years have passed sence my misson, would really love some action.
[Intercom] Alex Please report to breifing room 327-A.
[Alex] Ask and you shall recive.
*he arrives at room 327-A*
[???]Hello! Alex please take a seat.
[Alex] Alright.
[???]Alright everyone is here, And we are dealing with 2 containment breaches i will bref both of em and this might take a few hours or min. So please get something to eat and drink and listen to what i say as one of them is a cognito hazerd.
*they get some snacks and something to drink*
[???]Alright here is the brief:
5126
LEVEL3
CONTAINMENT CLASS:
SAFE
DISRUPTION CLASS:
DARK
RISK CLASS:
WARNING
SCP-5126, primary memetic vectors removed.
Special Containment Procedures: A single instance of SCP-5126 is to be stored on a secure Foundation server. Foundation webcrawlers are to monitor the internet for instances of SCP-5126. Any SCP-5126 instances are to be removed and exposed persons monitored until the anomalous effects have ended.
Affected persons are not to be interacted with until the cessation of anomalous effects. The object lost during the event is to be replaced. If no convincing replacement can be acquired, the subject is to be amnesticized.
Description: SCP-5126 refers to a cognitohazardous digital image. Any individual who views the image will be subject to its effects.
The effects of SCP-5126 manifest the next time an exposed individual falls asleep. The affected individual will seek out and consume a pillow, cushion, mattress, or plush toy. The subject's body will stretch to allow the swallowed object to fit. Subjects cannot typically be awakened during this process—forcing a subject to wake using chemical stimulants will end the anomalous effects, typically causing their body to burst.
Once the swallowed object is fully contained in the subject's stomach, it will vanish. The subject's body will then return to its normal shape. No lasting effects on subjects have been observed. Subjects are typically unaware of what has happened aside from noticing the missing object.
Addendum 5126.1: Discovery A single SCP-5126 image was uploaded to the Subreddit DeepFriedMemes on 12/3/2020. Due to the delayed effects and visual similarity to other posts on the Subreddit, Foundation webcrawlers failed to flag the image as anomalous.
Following the event, an estimated 7000 people were subject to SCP-5126's effects. Account and IP data from the post were used to locate and amnesticize affected persons. Replacements were provided for objects lost to the event.
Addendum 5126.2: Exploration An experiment was conducted to discover the destination of swallowed objects. D-46123 was exposed to SCP-5126. Tracking devices were placed inside all objects in his cell susceptible to the effect. D-46123's mattress was consumed and discovered to have been transported to a remote location in the state of Montana.
Foundation satellites discovered a large structure composed of mattresses, cushions, and pillows (designated SCP-5126-1.) MTF-Sigma-16 "Slumber Party" was deployed to explore the structure.
[BEGIN LOG]
[MTF-Sigma-16 approaches SCP-5126-1. It resembles a medieval castle. The exterior of the structure is largely comprised of mattresses and large cushions, with smaller cushions and pillows used to add details such as pillars and fortifications. The main entryway is a large gateway.]
Sigma-1: Command, we have visual on the structure. As suspected, it's a gigantic pillow fort.
Sigma-2: Jeez, this place would've been six-year-old me's dream. How is it even holding itself up?
Sigma-3: How about we find out?
[Sigma-3 kicks the bottom of a stack of pillows and plush toys resembling a statue. The stack collapses before reassembling itself.]
Sigma-1: Structure is reconstructing itself anomalously.
Sigma-3: We can see that.
Command: Don't take any chances with the structural integrity of the main building. Proceed with caution.
Sigma-1: Got it.
[MTF-Sigma-16 enters the structure. The entrance is a large hallway leading to a branching path. A glowing plush toy hangs from the ceiling, illuminating the room. Lining the walls are stacks of pillows arranged in vaguely humanoid shapes.]
Sigma-2: Should we take our shoes off?
Sigma-3: I doubt this place will care about us tracking dirt. Just wipe them off here if you're so worried about it.
[Sigma-2 wipes her shoes on a mattress near the entrance while Sigma-1 and 3 walk to the end of the hallway. When the two near the end of the hall, several of the humanoid pillow stacks animate and approach Sigma-1 and 3. Each entity wields a pillow as a weapon.]
Sigma-3: Command, we've got hostile entities. It appears this place is guarded by pillow people.
Sigma-1: Oh hell no.
[An entity swings its pillow at Sigma-1. She ducks, draws her firearm, and shoots the entity in the head. A large plume of feathers are released, but the entity appears to be unaffected. Sigma-1 discharges several more shots and uses a taser, but the entity is unimpeded. Sigma-1 continues to evade attacks.]
Sigma-1: Entities show extreme resistance to damage!
Command: Sigma-16, fall back!
Sigma-2: Hang on, I have an idea!
[Sigma-2 pulls a pillow from the wall and sprints towards the entity attacking Sigma-1. She swings the pillow at the entity. Upon contact, the entity falls apart and collapses into a pile of inanimate pillows.]
Sigma-1: Huh. Okay.
[Sigma-1 and 3 both pick up pillows as several more entities approach.]
Sigma-3: Eat shit plush people!
Sigma-2: Oh my god this is great.
Sigma-1: Stay focused! We don't know how strong their attacks are-
[An entity hits Sigma-1 in the face with a pillow. Nothing happens. Sigma-1 pushes the pillow off her face and spits out lint.]
Sigma-1: God dammit.
[MTF-Sigma-16 neutralizes the remaining entities. The room is filled with feathers, synthetic beads, and scattered pillows.]
Sigma-1: …Threat neutralized.
Command: Understood. Proceed into the structure.
[MTF-Sigma-16 enters the rightmost passageway. They pass through several hallways and intersections. An animated plush walrus is discovered, which Sigma-2 places in her backpack for future study. The MTF spends approximately one hour exploring the structure before reaching a large room.]
[Inside the room is a male human (designated SCP-5126-A.) He sits atop a large stack of cushions. He is wearing a nightcap and pajama shirt, but no pants. He is consuming feathers from a pillow of an expensive brand. The empty cases of several similar pillows are on the floor nearby.]
Sigma-1: Command, we've located a human. Middle age, no pants, reeks to high hell.
Command: Understood. You may attempt an interview.
SCP-5126-A: Oh! Someone has passed the maze! Greetings slumber buddies!
Sigma-1: Hello. You're the person who made this place?
SCP-5126-A: Indeed I am! Would any of you three care for a snack? [SCP-5126-A offers a pillow.]
Sigma-1: Are those feathers edible?
SCP-5126-A: Hmm. I'm not sure. They certainly taste delicious!
Sigma-1: I think we'll pass, then. Can you tell us what this place is, exactly?
SCP-5126-A: Well. I'm sure you've heard of a pillow fort, yes? But have you ever seen… a pillow castle?
[SCP-5126-A stumbles forward and holds its arms out as if presenting the structure. A single mattress detaches from the ceiling and falls to the floor nearby.]
SCP-5126-A: This is my kingdom! My masterpiece! Never before has a pillow fort stood so tall! Gaze upon it's majesty and weep, weep I say!
Sigma-1: I would rather not. Why did you decide to build this place, exactly?
SCP-5126-A: Ever since I was a little boy, I knew. I knew that there was something special about pillows. The taste. The smell. The texture. Absolutely perfect, absolutely divine. I asked myself: Why do we even bother with anything else? Why don't we just use pillows for everything? And this? This is my answer. My kingdom of plush. My kingdom of pillows!
Sigma-3: [Laughs] Holy shit this guy is insane.
Sigma-1: Don't be an ass to the skip three.
Sigma-2: So what's with all the people eating their beds and teleporting them here?
SCP-5126-A: Oh, yes, that. You see, mattresses are expensive! If I wanted to build a castle, I was going to need to outsource. So I figured, what better way than offering people a delicious meal in exchange for their beds? Spread the word of the pillow, and gather resources for my castle.
Sigma-2: Makes sense to me.
Sigma-1: No it does not!
SCP-5126-A: Anyway. You all did a fantastic job getting here. How would you care for a pillow fight with the King of Cushion?
[SCP-5126-A picks up a pillow and sprints towards the MTF. Sigma-1 tases SCP-5126-A. He vomits a large quantity of feathers and falls unconscious.]
Sigma-1: We're done here.
[END LOG]
[Afterword: SCP-5126-A was taken into Foundation custody. It was found to have no anomalous digestive abilities and as such required a stomach pump. SCP-5126-1 collapsed after the removal of SCP-5126-A from the site and has shown no further anomalous properties. The structure's components were moved into storage.]
Anyone needs to go to the toilet?
[Jack] i do.
[???] Make it quick
*few min later*
[Jack] im back.
[???] Good should i continue?
[Jack] Yes.
[???] Ok, Here is the other brief:
Item #: SCP-7888
Object Class: Thaumiel
Special Containment Procedures: All usage of SCP-7888 should abide by regulations described in Ethics Committee Protocol: "Fern Flower".
Description: SCP-7888 is a Foundation-produced communication method. By utilising various memetic suggestions through plain text, SCP-7888 diminishes the retroactive generation of anomalous phenomena in baseline reality.
Since SCP-7888's implementation, the general danger and hostility imposed by newly discovered anomalies has decreased by ~60%. Current instances of SCP-7888 do not completely prevent the existence of malevolent and irrepressible anomalies, although most now follow commonly documented anomalous laws. This has made overall containment and research significantly easier. An increase in beneficial and benevolent anomalies, as well as more concisely written SCP documentation has also been noted alongside these changes.
Discovery Log: SCP-7888 was created following an increase in retroactive reality alterations detected by the FRCN (Foundation Reality-wide Communications Network). In one week, a higher amount of newly discovered anomalous phenomena were reported, most in some way relating to the concept of "Luck". The departments of Memetics were able to produce and successfully employ SCP-7888 during this time.
Due to the immense level of harm such entities presented, SCP-7888 was originally intended to neutralize those responsible through lethal memetic hazards. This decision was later revised, upon confirming the possibility of a ZK-Class Reality Failure Scenario. An alternative, non-lethal form of memetic suggestion was then created, which successfully nullified the influence of numerous entities.
Despite being approved by a majority of leading Foundation personnel, the Ethics Committee expressed dissatisfaction, opting for a clear psychological evaluation of these entities before any further use of SCP-7888. Two months postponement was approved, and access to a majority of Foundation documentation for psychological study was granted.
An initial set of newly improved memetic agents were finally produced, using the Ethics Committee's findings as a basis. These were intended to reduce hostile anomalous activity whilst retaining favourable standing with these entities, until a means of clear communication could be developed. This proposal was finally agreed upon by all leading Foundation personnel after the latest SCP-7888 instances proved the most effective. A log of currently utilised instances can be found below:
WARNING: POTENT MEMETIC HAZARDS AHEAD
The following is a list of SCP-7888 instances that have proven the most effective.
The list has been removed for your saftey.
[Alex] Ok, but should eta-10 deal with the Cognito hazerd?
[???]Yes but they are busy.
[Alex] Alright.
[???]Alright lets go lets go MOVE MOVE MOVE!