Evan decided to let it go and move on with his morning when one of his colleagues, Jakob, blocked Evan from entering his office and placed his arm around Evan's shoulders.
Their officemates gasped and stared at Jakob in horror, wondering where he got his audacity to do that to the one and only Mister Evanescence 'Evan' Holz.
"Good morning, Sir Holz!" He greeted him with a wide grin. "I didn't know you were into the innocent-looking types!"
If this were any other person, Evan would've shoved him off of him. But it was Jakob.
Stupid yet capable Jakob.
Jakob was a typical happy-go-lucky worker who seemed to be the source of amusement to his officemates every single day. He was annoyingly cheerful, had no sense of space (as demonstrated now), and no sense of authority (which can also be seen now).
But damningly, he was a relatively efficient worker, so he still hasn't been fired, much to Evan's chagrin.
Even if Evan was usually easily annoyed with other people, Jakob seemed not to trigger it. Maybe it's because Jakob's personality reminded Evan greatly of Freiheit.
Actually, now that he thought of it, if Freiheit decided to be a regular office worker, Jakob is the personification of that thought.
He knew that one of the many reasons why his workers thought Evan was gay was because of his leniency towards Jakob.
Evan admitted that he is actually kind of compassionate towards Jakob. Still, it's because he was a really effective worker, not because he had any affection or attraction for the man.
"What do you mean, 'innocent-looking type'?" Evan asked, motioning for Jakob to remove his arm around him.
Jakob did as he was told.
"You know." He was the type to express himself with his hands, so as he spoke, he was flailing his hands around. "Women who look like..."
"I know what an innocent look looks like, Mr. Schmidt." Evan sighed impatiently. "What I meant is, what exactly do you mean when you say if I'm into the innocent types?"
Jakob blinked, looking confused.
"The girl you were kissing,"
"The girl, I was what?!" Evan gasped.
"Oh!" Jakob laughed. "That explains it."
"Explains what?" Evan demanded.
"The videos," Jakob said, bringing out his phone from his pocket. "I guess you aren't aware of the videos circulating on social media of two attractive people passionately making out at Andromeda's yesterday. One of them is assumed to be you."
Evan leaned closer to check what Jakob was trying to show him. It was a video of, as Jakob described, an attractive couple kissing in the middle of a crowd.
They didn't seem to give a fuck of the people around them as they continued to eat each other's faces.
Evan squinted, leaning even closer.
It was Eternity and him.
***
Freiheit barged inside Evan's office with a loud thud.
Evan, preoccupied with signing and examining the papers at hand, nearly jumped out of his skin. Once Evan realized who the imbecile was who dared to go into his office unannounced and without an appointment, he rolled his eyes and rested his elbow on top of his table.
"I didn't think you had it in you!" Freiheit had a look of intrigue on his face.
"'Have it in me' to what?" Evan replied in a bored manner, hoping his tone was enough to make Freiheit go away and leave him alone.
But that was not the case.
That was never the case.
"What?!" Freiheit gasped comically, walking towards Evan's office sofa before diving into it like the child that he was. "Don't tell me you don't know."
"Oh, brother," Evan said. "I do."
Freiheit's shoulder slumped down.
He apparently wanted to be the bringer of news that videos and pictures of Evan eating someone's face were circulating all around the internet.
"So?" Freiheit said impatiently. "Who's the lucky girl in those vids?"
"Eternity,"
"Eternity?" he repeated in confusion. "That's an odd name. But anyway, who am I to judge? My name literally means 'freedom'. Maybe both our parents share a strange naming sense."
"I named her."
"What?"
"Freiheit," Evan deadpanned, setting down his fountain pen. "Eternity is the doll you gave me."
Freiheit froze on the sofa, gaping at Evan with horror and mystification.
"Brother," Freiheit started. "I know she looks realistic, but why are you bringing a sex doll and making out with it in public?"
Evan took a deep, heavy sigh. "You said in your letter."
"What?" Freiheit furrowed his eyebrows together. "What is the connection between my letter and you bringing a sex doll to a mall–"
"You said that I had to kiss her."
"Kiss? You actually did it?!" Freiheit was bemused, completely forgetting his previous sentence altogether. "And what do you mean, 'her'? Don't tell me you're far too gone to notice that 'she' is a sex doll. Hence, the proper pronoun is—"
"You, out of all people, can't teach me basic sentence structure," Evan pointed out. "You can't even speak our language fully without shifting to another because you can't remember the native equivalent of a word!"
"Touché," Freiheit made finger guns at him.
Evan rolled his eyes.
"Anyway," Evan began. "You said in your letter that I should kiss the doll, and she will be brought to life."
"So what's your point?" Freiheit said impatiently.
"That is my point!" Evan replied with equal, if not more, impatience. "She was brought to life!"
Freiheit repeatedly blinked blankly at him.
"Brother," he said. "Have you gone mad?!"