Dry breath fluttered into the sky, disappearing.
In front of the hall lay a flower bed.
A line of mourners, adorned with pristine white floral wreaths, stood solemnly.
Heads were bowed solemnly, hands respectfully joined.
Some moved in and out of the place with a lightness, as if it were not their concern.
"...."
He watched them intently.
Lee Seyeong. The three characters displayed in front of the hall.
After the disaster, her family held a grand funeral.
Lee Seyeong, who once complained that sweet oak flowers were not pretty, left this world surrounded by beautiful blooms.
Strangely, Lee Seyeong was treated like a hero in this country.
So much so that people unrelated to the incident joined the mourning procession.
She often called herself trash, but it seems her nature was truly kind.
See. I told you she was too good for me.
He glances at a few people from the broadcasting station, then casts his eyes to the ground.
[Contact List]
The phone screen in his limp hand emitted a feeble light.
The contact list, now shorter than before.
Scrolling down, he paused at the name Lee Seyeong.
"...."
He had long dismissed the notion that it was a dream.
Days had passed since that day, yet he couldn't return to the past.
He had to witness Lee Seyeong's transition from living to deceased, right by her side.
"...."
The contact list was filled with many empty spaces.
The teacher's phone number was gone. Sansuyu's phone number, too.
He couldn't bear to ask those who knew what had happened.
Because whenever he mentioned the name, the faces of those around him turned icy cold.
"...."
A bug crawled onto his forearm. Creak—its carapace split, and wings unfolded.
The bug, struggling to fly with one wing torn, captures his vacant stare.
-Gurgling.
A thunderous sound emanated from his stomach.
His mouth was parched, and his insides felt as though a large hole had been bored through them.
The corners of his eyes show no signs of healing.
The sky was blue. Still high.
The noise of life, like air conditioners, always muddled his hearing.
Rocks were hard.
The soil was rough.
The smell of city gas lingered sharply in his nose.
Everything was flowing as usual.
As if to prove this was just one of the routines.
Still feeling the bitter touch of her skin on his hand, he blinked.
-Flash.
His mouth tastes bitter.
The taste of blood.
-Rumbling.
He looks around again.
Dark clouds were visible in the sky.
The touch of the tree he sat on is hard.
The ground's sand held moisture.
The outdoor unit here was off, making no noise.
The occasional sound of people talking, laughter that seemed mocking.
Unaware of the subject, the environment changed.
Unable to adapt, he smacked the side of his head with his hand.
-Whack!
His ears rang, finally free from the noise.
Now it was quiet.
He thought he could escape his thoughts and zone out, but then blood dripped from his nose.
Stayed up too late, perhaps.
He wiped the blood with his sleeve.
"Excuse me."
Someone's hand suddenly appears in front of his eyes.
He craned his neck to look up.
Jin Dallae was holding a tissue, looking at him.
"How long will you stay like that?"
"...."
"…I'm sorry. You must not have had the time to properly collect yourself yet."
He wiped off the blood with the tissue he received.
Jin Dallae sat next to him, her hand resting on her skirt suit.
10 minutes, 20 minutes.
A long silence continued between them.
After a while, Jin Dallae cautiously started to speak.
"The professor said… It seems like you've been thinking about dying for a long time."
"...."
"I'm sorry to bring this up, but I thought it was something you had to know."
Jin Dallae looked at him and smiled bitterly.
"Even when at the academy, you planned to subdue the Flower, assuming you'd die."
...
"Also, telling other women to meet with you. It was because you needed someone by your side when you die."
...
"I never thought it would happen, but in the end, it did."
That reminded me of Lee Seyeong.
"Really, she was someone who knew only you."
Had she never told me she loved me?
Even when we spent the night together, even when I received the ring.
Lee Seyeong never told me she liked me.
It seems like she had been preparing to leave from one corner or another.
"…Is that so."
Words burst out of my cracked lips for the first time in days.
My voice was thicker, rougher, and more muffled than before.
Jin Dallae, not expecting me to speak, opened her eyes wide and then showed a sorrowful smile.
"It's already the third time… It's not your fault."
The third time…
My dry eyes gazed at the ground.
I had to endure the endlessly flowing time all alone.
Night came, and morning followed. Then the moon appeared.
The number of visitors gradually decreased.
Still, I remained in my place.
Fortunately, the voices of the mourners occasionally awakened my consciousness.
There were words of gratitude and words that felt like a knife carving into my aching heart.
-At least it's a peaceful death.
That was the phrase I least wanted to hear.
I thought I could handle everything.
That I would navigate through anything and eventually reach a happy ending someday.
I was confident.
Without realizing it was arrogance, I left my back covered by those around me… I guess I only thought it would be comfortable from start to finish.
…I thought I was an unhappy person.
Because being kidnapped and having my life threatened constantly irritated me.
I wasted my mind on useless things.
Well, I didn't have to worry about that anymore.
Something irreversible has happened. Now, I understand my situation better than anyone else.
The incident wasn't revolving around me.
I know. It's a lesson that might appear in children's stories.
I could have understood it with a little thought.
Such clichéd and realistic adult lessons, I ended up buying them at too high a price.
"…Didn't even a single photo remain?"
Proper memories to cherish were few and far between.
In that sense, our love was indeed naively young.
We didn't truly understand each other.
Sex. And a bit of affection.
It was like handing over our lives to a puppy love that middle schoolers would have.
…I didn't dislike it.
But the more I reminisced about the past, the more intense my emotions became, unavoidably so.
I find myself resenting why she left.
Why ever did she make such plans?
"Keuk."
A hollow laugh escaped.
Call me a complete idiot, and I wouldn't have words to counter.
Thinking back, I was always powerless.
From being trapped in a one-room apartment due to trauma to now.
This damned indecisiveness and lack of decisiveness led to this result.
It's like a grain of sand stuck to the window.
Trying my hardest to stick to the glass, but a mere raindrop easily sweeps me away.
That's exactly what I was now.
What a mess. A miserable creature.
In the dark room, I gripped a piece of broken glass with all my might.
The emotions I had been suppressing exceeded their limit and slowly burst.
-You have something nice, huh?
Our first meeting was criminal.
Both harboring bad intentions, it was a romance that you'd only see in a low-quality movie, not something you could call a good encounter.
-Tasty, huh? That's how you brew tea, you idiot.
That's how we met and slowly got closer.
Sometimes worrying about each other.
The occasional physical mingling eventually led to us harboring such emotions for each other.
-Enough, rapist. You're a rapist, got it?
A laughable story to anyone who heard it.
-Eat. They say to give a disliked person an extra piece of cake. I bought it thinking you hadn't eaten.
-No, I ate already.
-Just eat it. You need to eat well to grow.
From beginning to end.
-Really, how are you going to live without me?
-I can live well without her. I've lived 20 years without a woman.
-You look like it.
- ....
Again and again.
- Still, it's nice to see you after a long time. Hehehe. How about I just kidnap you like this? I can't return you, but I can give a lifetime warranty.
- Are you senile, teacher?
- Fuck, empathize!
- ....
"Ha."
With a smirk on my lips.
- I ended up receiving the ring.
- You don't like it?
- How could I not?
Sorting out my emotions.
- Thank you.
All those memories and accumulated feelings dissipate like sea foam, disappearing into the sea.
The past that I could neither grasp with my hands nor turn back.
I look at the moving second hand of the clock, not regretting but missing slowly.
- Thud.
The tissue used to wipe away tears fell to the floor of the room.
Everything felt empty.
'Damn it, really… People seem to shake it off easily.'
How many days has it been?
Was I the only pathetic one?
Too pathetic to let go, it felt like the deceased Lee Seyeong might just show up.
As if she'd hit me on the back of the head, telling me to stop pining over her, idiot. Do you like her that much?
It seemed like she might just say that with a mischievous smile.
I wish she would.
Really.
'…It won't change.'
- Click.
A sound of something breaking echoed in my head.
"It's already over."
- Crackling.
Something that shouldn't have broken suddenly burst open with a snap.
"Kuk, keuk…hup. Haaa."
I exhaled a trembling sigh.
Cold breath spread throughout the room.
The air was cold.
It's winter.
Was it a year later, or was it still this year? Or had even more time passed?
Who did she die to? Flower.
Lee Seyeong died trying to target Flower.
It was them who targeted me.
Cheondo and Sansuyu were also missing without a trace.
I opened my hand holding the glass shard.
The sharp piece of glass I thought would tear my skin to shreds had completely crumbled to powder in my hand.
"Did they say I needed a motive?"
I recall the words of Cheonma I heard once.
"...."
As I scattered the glass powder into the air, I finally became aware.
My surroundings blurred.
The furnishings in the house turned to dust and disappeared one by one.
My deranged mind snapped back into place.
"…Ah."
…A dream.
[Have you awakened?]
Hearing the World Tree's voice, I immediately curled up.
-Sizzling, sizzling, sizzling, sizzling.
The sound of insects thriving in the saturated steam seemed to echo right next to my ear, even though I was inside the room.
It was a relief.
Truly.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
-Sizzling.
The sound of insects continued to echo in the forest where I had opened my eyes.
The pool of blood where I had been lying was absorbed into the ground, leaving only a dark stain.
Above, the sky was slowly filling with light.
"…It really was a dream."
It didn't seem like a dream.
I just thought I had lost some memories for a while due to the shock.
[Are you alright?]
The voice of the World Tree of Time sounded weaker than before.
It was like a candle flickering just before extinguishing, as if it would fade away soon.
I asked her.
"Was that just now, something that actually happened?"
[....]
No answer came back.
That was answer enough.
[It might be best for you to return now. I apologize for showing you a scene you couldn't handle.]
"I'm not going."
[Lee Shiheon. It might be time to meet and come back from seeing someone important-]
"Do I look anxious to you?"
[No.]
I exhaled a breath I had been holding, as if I could deflate the earth.
With a calmed mind, my emotions did not stir.
These emotions were within my control.
Compared to the reality I had been forcibly accepting during the long time in the dream, this was nothing.
The most important thing now was:
Have I properly looked back at the future?
I will not let everything up to now go to waste.
"Many people died."
I never thought such a thing would happen.
"Time."
[Yes.]
"How many days can you last?"
[Based on the real world… two days.]
It had significantly decreased.
The dream she showed me must have been a significant burden for her.
If that's the case, I must stay in this past even longer.
In the past, the lifespan of the World Tree of Time increased.
-Clop, clop.
Finally.
An old man was walking towards me from a distance.
"Have you prepared yourself?"
"Yes."
I answered without hesitation.
"You won't be broken by trivial torture like yesterday, will you?"
Surprise flickered across the old man's face.
Let's see.
Murmuring, he took an old-looking water bottle from his pocket and placed it on a rock.
"This is a rare elixir, hard to find across the world. It can instantly restore your body."
Magic flowed, wrapping around the old man's hand.
"Let's test it now."