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Chapter 4 - older.

When I was younger

my mother said to be myself

cause no matter who I'd meet in life

no matter which friends fly by

who stays, who goes

I only have myself

My mother once said

that to love yourself is to be truly happy

to have no hate

and to have no fear

peace

Among other things

When I was young

I didn't care for warnings

I took life by the reigns

Said goodbye to yesterday

Cause everyone loved me

I had friends for days

And even when I didn't

It didn't matter

Cause friends were only as good as the games we played

And we played pretty shitty games

As I grew older

I realised that things weren't as they seemed

I should have kept the friends I made back then

Cause now I'm older

And it sucks to be older

I have no bedtime

Not because my mama declined to set a time

But because my trouble keeps me up

Screaming away

Heartache then break

The stress of being older

Simple little problems that coulda been solved with a hug

Keeping me up till way past dawn

I'm tired and I yawn

Eyes black from all the unsuccessful answers

To equations that I don't even know the name of

How can it be

If this is where my life leads

To tired eyes and misery

Then I don't want it

I want to be free

Like when I was younger

When we could chase ladybugs through neighbourhoods

Which we called our own

Sitting high on imaginary thrones

Fighting over whose named King

With no harm in regard

No matter who said what

We were all friends

Delighted by our companies

Collective in our tyranny

We were just kids

We were just kids

But now we're older

Neighbourhoods don't feel the same

Everybody cares for names

"Whose king? Whose king?"

Fighting means harm

Harm means guns

When we grew old, we grew out of our innocence

Man

I think the world could use a little innocence

We search for war

And act surprised when it comes our way

We kill every bit of child left in us

We forbid it

Innocence

But it's what we need most

Cause without it's there's only hostility

And I know I can be

A little under the weather

To set my hand at thee

But love

I promise you

This isn't how I'm meant to be

This is what the world made of me

A suicidal, in denial prodigy

Master of fuckedup-ery

I don't mean to swear

My violence is bare

I hope you're hearing me

We have suffered enough

Isn't it time to let our passions free?

Sit back and let the child be

The one whose been inside my heart

Cowering in the dark

With or without a spark

Of hope

For a future

Where children can play

Well into old age

Where people are heard

And innocence is learnt

To protect our world

Before it's too late

We can make a change

Just let the child play.