Chereads / Spider-Man of Earth 65 / Chapter 36 - Being Spider-Man

Chapter 36 - Being Spider-Man

That evening, for the first time, he went to the cemetery to visit Reed. His gaze lingered on the simple headstone that marked his friend's final resting place. It was a stark reminder of the reality of loss, of the void that Reed's absence had left in his life. Seven months. The two had known each other for a little over seven months. The best seven months of his life. Before that, Felix lived alongside an irritatingly arrogant father and a quiet mother. Both his parents were old when they had him. His mother was nearly in her forties and so the couple were very old fashioned—and in all the wrong ways. He wasn't taught chivalry, he was taught to be better and study. Study, study, study, accumulate knowledge, never have fun. Just study until you drop dead. Study until the son decided he wanted to leave.

The day he left for university, it was like his father didn't love him. He wanted him to follow in his footsteps. He wanted him to work for Stark Industries. He wanted Felix to keep building and make their family known.

It was why Felix could never fully hate him. He was a drunk fool—but he was a fool who tried to help their family. He was a fool who recognized he was inferior to his mother in the ways of science and coped with it due to the generation he was raised in. He was an old fool. Truly. But he was no different than any other man. He was human.

After Reed's death, after understanding his current blessings, Felix was able to see it. 

Maybe it was Stark Industries that soured him. Maybe it was Anthony Stark himself. That thought ran through his mind more times than he could count. "Anthony Stark…it's because of him that my father became a drunkard. It was because of him that my dad is now threatening to hurt us!" 

They were excuses for his behaviour. In reality, Anthony Stark had only met his father once. Just once during a meeting calling forward the best scientists of the country. He knew that in truth Anthony Stark was too busy and powerful to ever care about a man like his father. It was simply a line of thought he used to forgive his father—and frankly, the thought never completely withered. He didn't want to admit it but it was why he was so open to humiliating the billionaire. It was like a childhood dream coming true.

"Does that make me a bad person?" Felix asked in a low mutter. With a heavy heart, Felix knelt beside the grave, a flood of memories washing over him as he remembered the times they had shared together. The laughter, the camaraderie, the sense of purpose they had found in their shared mission – it all seemed so distant now.

Revenge.

Revenge. 

It wasn't like he didn't want to save people but…it didn't seem important. What value came out of needlessly stopping robberies other than for PR and training? A cruel line of thought, yet with his powers, he thought he had to compromise. He thought it was pointless. He was Spider-Man, he wasn't a god.

Even so, his heart ached. A voice in his head was telling him, "No! You have to help! You have to go past revenge!"

"Do I?"

"Yes! Because you're more than yourself! You're Spider-Man! You carry the will of Gwen Stacy and Reed Richards!"

Felix set down the green flower he had been carrying. The Mediterranean Spurge which he remembered Reed saying helped him with creating cosmic fire when he was six. A smile spread across his face and he stood back up.

REED RICHARDS 

200X - 202X

"I'm a scientist, son; there's no such thing as weird."

'There's no such thing as weird, huh? Honestly, I'd think you would say that even if you saw me right now.' Closing his eyes, Felix turned. Cypress Hills Graveyard lay bathed in the soft glow of twilight, the fading light casting long shadows over the rows of tombstones and monuments. Felix made his way along the winding paths that crisscrossed the graveyard. He didn't want to look at the names. Somehow, it pained him that so many people in the world were dead. That so many loved ones had passed on and there was nothing anyone could do about it. 

Waiting outside for him in the parking lot was Rio, who sent him a small smile. Felix smiled back. Rio had a small green car and her company filled the tiny hole in his heart. The cemetery was in Brooklyn and a half hour drive. Felix didn't have a car so he had never visited before, even though he could have jogged with his endless stamina or web-swinged in costume.

But somehow, that didn't feel right. Being with someone else, having them greet him with a smile, was a feeling like no other. Rio didn't mind standing and waiting, only to back inside the car. Felix opened the car door and went down inside with a small, silent sigh.

"You look relieved," Rio said. 

"Yeah." He leaned back on the seat, eyes closed, smiling. "I've been pretty tense as of late. Been going head-first into situations without thinking and…a lot of it was because of this. I tried not to think about it but…" He exhaled slowly. "Thank you, Rio."

A beat passed. "How close were you?" she asked.

"He was my best friend," Felix replied, smiling in nostalgia. "My one and only best friend."

***

Thirty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of their condo complex. The jokes just ten minutes ago had faded. Behind their condo complex, it was time to get out but neither did. 

'I should get a car,' Felix thought, distracting himself. Here was the thing: Felix wasn't bad with women but he also wasn't great with them. He was an introvert and while having sex certainly built up his confidence…with Rio, it was different. It just was. 

At the driver's seat, the engine turned off and Rio began to fidget. Felix turned his head slightly. "So, about that second date…"

Rio seemed to freeze up. Felix blinked, suddenly feeling a wave of nervousness wash over him. Despite his usual confidence, there was something about Rio that made him feel more vulnerable than he cared to admit.

"I mean, if you're up for it," he continued, his voice trailing off uncertainly. "We could... I don't know, go out for dinner or something?"

Rio's fidgeting seemed to intensify, and Felix couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety at her reaction. Had he overstepped? Was she not interested in a second date?

"Look, I did appreciate today. Really, I did." Her words made his heart sink. She proceeded to stammer over her words. "I-it's not you, it's me."

He tried to mask his disappointment with a forced smile, but inside, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness. It was always hard to hear those dreaded words – "It's not you, it's me" – especially when he had been hoping for something more.

Then, everything fell into place when she muttered, "The condo walls aren't that thick."

Condo walls? Condo…walls…

Oh, no.

Her cheeks were pink and she gripped the steering wheel with embarrassment. Oh, no, no, no! She was talking about his sessions with Maria. She was talking about his nightly sessions with her—

'Shit, Maria…! She was practically moaning like a pornstar—'

"That lady you bring over…I don't want to get in the way of whatever is happening between you two," Rio explained, flashing him a weak smile. 

Felix didn't know what to say. What the hell could he say? Maria was screaming. There was no way Rio didn't hear it and there was no way to bullshit his way through either. Herbie and all his spider-powers were useless. "That was, er…"

Did women like a guy screwing another chick? Probably not. He placed himself in her shoes, thinking of her screwing other guys, and promptly shut the idea. Yeah, it was uncomfortable to say the least. They weren't together but they were feeling something. To go back on that and plow someone else was awkward at best. Plus, as a single mother…

'For the first time, I'm actually regretting being good at sex.' 

"Oh, there's no need to explain, you can have lady friends." Rio waved a hand, her laughter low and attempting to comfort him. "I just…I have Miles to look out for so…"

Silence. She was saying having a fuckboy around wouldn't be good for Miles. And the thing was...she was right. He wouldn't want that for his own child either. He would want a straight-laced adult that could share responsibilities with him. Someone like Rio. Someone unlike Felix.

"She's a work friend," Felix mumbled, "that…sort of…escalated."

"I-I figured. She was pretty loud, hahaha…"

"Y-yeah…"

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, okay what else was he supposed to say? That she was faking it? Because Maria definitely wasn't. Blushes remained on their faces. 

'Should I ask her why she knocked on my door yesterday?' Felix's thoughts stopped. 'I'm too embarrassed…'

Rio herself was fidgeting. He wanted to reach out to her, to comfort her in some way, but he knew that it was best to give her space to sort through her feelings. It wasn't her, he was the same. He didn't know what to think, say or do. Sitting in silence, the tension between them was palpable.

"S-see you then…" Felix opened the car door, red to his ears. 

"Bye. I, er, have errands to do."

"Okay."

He stepped out into the cool night air, the weight of disappointment heavy on his shoulders. Being Spider-Man was difficult and somehow being Felix was just as difficult. He went through the back entrance, discreetly glancing over at Rio who was still in the car. She was still gripping the steering wheel with both hands. Her eyes seemed conflicted.

His glasses sent him a message.

DR. FAETH, COMMUNICATIONS BETWEEN THE HAND, MAGGIA, AND INNER DEMONS HAVE BEGUN AGAIN.

He looked at Rio one last time, then forced himself to go. "Keep track of everything. I want summaries and locations," Felix muttered.

UNDERSTOOD.

***

Throughout the week, Herbie caught every single message the Hand, the Maggia, and the Inner Demons transmitted. With every passing day, they grew exceedingly more desperate and angry.

The Maggia…

"Is it true? The attack has been delayed?"

"Spider-Man infiltrated the base and found out about the attack on Grand Central! The boss is really angry!"

"We gotta find him!"

The Hand….

"No man can disappear. Like Master Spider, he must have left something behind."

"The Inner Demons say he was shot."

"Where?"

"At the warehouse…"

The Inner Demons, often speaking in Mandarin…

"Dammit, that place has already been snuffed clean by the NYPD."

"Don't we have an informant in the police?"

"Not since Commissioner Karnic came into office."

All of them were scrambling for him. In the meantime, Felix worked tirelessly to modify his spider-suit for the upcoming showdown with Mr. Negative. Like a radio playing in the background, Felix smiled through the nights. 

Felix meticulously applied the Secondary Adamantium coating to the neon green spider symbol on his suit, replacing the original material. The metallic substance gleamed under the harsh glare of the workshop lights. In other words, stealth mode would be slightly less effective as the symbol would give out a minor gleam. In return, he received the properties that made it the perfect material for his anti-lightning modification.

With steady hands, he worked his way around the intricate design of the spider symbol and installed the necessary wiring. That was the hardest part; making the rubber wiring. He needed a way to gauge the power of lightning as well as keep Herbie on. It wasn't easy and there were hundreds of failed attempts. Sometimes, Herbie wouldn't turn on at all and other times it was partially active, disconnecting and reconnecting periodically.

The five days of work were tough, especially when he had to go home for work. Dr. Olivia mentioned that they would be going back to Oscorp Tower very, very soon. It was only a matter of time.

"Here you go, Dr. Faeth."

Herbie buzzed around him, offering assistance and guidance as Felix worked. The robot's mechanical arms held out soft drinks for him.

"My hero," Felix said, chuckling. He knew this was never going to be easy. As he drank his diet coke, he told himself to suck it up. He was almost done. He was almost there.

On the other end, the radio chatter became quiet and quiet until eventually—

"The attack on Grand Central will be happening in two days!"

The plan was in motion: they gave up their hunt on Spider-Man, changed up the time and date, and decided to attack. Perfect. Just what Felix wanted. They thought they were doing this on their own turf. They would be wrong. It was time to defeat Mr. Negative once and for all.

It was time to be Spider-Man.