CHAPTER 6
~GONZALO'S POV~
You can't see your face in boiling water so also you can not see the truth in anger. Well, now I'm trying to do that.
My hands shook with anger and my vision was painted red as I stared at the sheet of paper in my hands.
The paper which is now soaked with my sweat was a photo. A photo of the Alpha of the Poldark pack and my biggest rival Vincent Gorg holding the decapitated head of my youngest soldier. He went missing a week ago and with how disfigured his face was, I know he had been tortured. He was just 17 years old.
Damn you, Vincent.
"When did you get this?"
My beta, Mingan, spoke with a neutral voice but I've known him long enough to know that there is a whirlwind of emotions dancing behind those unusual eyes.
"Patrol soldiers found it at the border. They brought it to me immediately and I got it to you."
I nodded my head and time stilled around me as I fell to my chair and placed my hands on my face.
"What am I going to tell his parents? Hell, what am I going to tell his mate? That I'm the reason their loved one died because I let my pack down again!!"
"It's not your fault, Gonzalo. Vincent just pulled a fast one on us–"
"Like his always does–"
"–but you will stop him. Because nothing is impossible for you, Gonzalo. And Mick's family would understand that you did your best."
His words of comfort did little to ease the frustration I felt inside.
"Even if they do understand. What about the rest of the pack? How would they react? The deaths are increasing and the damage the poldark pack is inflicting on us is getting worse. Their already anxious as it is."
"Well maybe if your mate was more of a luna and less of a trophy then I'm sure the pack would be less anxious."
I peeled my palms from my face and looked at the man I trusted with my life with anger.
"What did you say, Mingan?"
He stared into my eyes unshaken by the anger that was brewing in my stormy orbs.
"You heard what I said, Alpha."
I threw a glass cup at him which was narrowly missed and marched towards him till my breath fanned against his face. And yet he still looked unbothered.
"How dare you speak that way about your Luna?"
"Morgana is not my Luna, Gonzalo. And I'm sure there are hundreds of people out there who feel the same way as I do."
"Morgana is my mate and as my mate her power is equal to mine. She is a leader just like me!"
"And unlike you, she is selfish, arrogant, and cruel to everyone around her including you! Sometimes I wish I had stopped you from rejecting Rau…"
I threw a punch to his face and his head fell to the side before he cleaned the blood that fell from his nose and looked me in the eye.
"Don't ever say her name again."
"What are you going to do, Alpha? You need to stop pretending that she didn't exist. For goddess sake, she was your mate!"
"She was weak!!"
"What does it matter?"
"Because I can't have a woman who isn't strong enough to take care of the people I am willing to die for. I can't have a woman who can't heal her wounds heal that of the pack."
"So you left a woman who you thought couldn't care for the pack for a woman who doesn't care about the lack at all?"
"Get out," I spoke in a tone so threatening that goosebumps appeared on my skin. Mingan looked at me once more before he spun around and walked out the door but not before he gave him his last bitch slap.
"I hope you know what you're doing Gonzalo because just because she was an omega, it doesn't mean that she wasn't your mate for a reason. I would do anything to have my true mate in my arms no matter what or who she is and you drove yours to suicide."
The door slammed shut and I almost walked out the door to give me the beating of his life. But I didn't. I couldn't. Not when the guilt sat so deep in my heart that I couldn't even stand to hear her name. Not when it hurts to imagine her beautiful red hair and enchanting blue eyes in my mind. Not when I'm unsure of the reason why I let go of her in the first place. Not when I know deep down that he's right.
~~~
The moon sat majestically in the sky with stars clustered around her like loyal servants. And the darkness accentuated her beautiful face. What a beautiful view this is. What a beautiful memory this would make. And yet why does it feel like something I wish to forget?
I stood in the same field with Morgana by my side as we renewed our vows in the presence of the pack. It should be a happy day. It should be a happy day. And yet it feels so sad.
Today was the first anniversary of me rejecting my mate for the woman beside me. Today was the first anniversary where I brutally beat up the woman I was meant to protect. Today was the first anniversary when I drove the woman I was meant to love from the only place she'd ever known. Today was the first anniversary were Raula Pierre committed suicide because of me.
I felt a hand under my chin and Morgana pulled my face to look at hers. My wolf cringed from the contact and nausea almost flooded my senses as I stared into her piercing green eyes.
She smiled at me and the hand on my face dropped to my side before pulling my hand into hers. I gave her my best smile and prayed to the moon goddess that she couldn't see the ruse behind my eyes.
She pulled her face to my neck and bit the existing mark til she drew blood. Pleasure rushed through my body as bile rose to my throat and the rollercoaster of emotions I have battled with for the past year hit me with full force. I almost puked all over her when she pulled away from my neck and stared at me with elongated fangs and blood on her lips.
One year. It's been one year since the inner turmoil with my wolf bore a hole into my being. It's been one year since I felt conflicted about my emotions. It's been one year since I smelled that intoxicating scent that almost sent me to heaven.
The smell of a lotus flower that had just bloomed from the mud. Unique and also very delicious. So delicious that I can almost taste it now…wait a second. I can taste it. Right on my tongue.
I peeled my eyes open and pulled myself away from Morgana's neck and took a deep breath. It's her. It had to be her. Who else could make my heart race without putting in so much effort? Who else could have a scent that could make my mouth water? Who else could?
Just then my orbs stopped at a post in the bushes and I made contact with her beautiful blue eyes.