I hammer down the last nail and seat beside the improvised coffin -Ridiculous isn't it? You sacrificed so bravely for a person who didn't deserve it and yet here we are... I'm alive and well, putting you inside a very ugly and cheap coffin with my own hands. You deserved much better than this-
I say toward that cold unmoving wooden wall with my head resting on my knees -We must head back as soon as possible, the camp is probably in am uproar right now... Who would have thought that me, Ying ChangLai, that dumb unmannered idiot of myself, would be laying low here just because a general told me to... I must have really lost it now. Are you laughing at me from heaven?- I chuckle -Knowimg you, you would probably laugh it off and tell to stand up and go on. So I will- I stand up and give him one last glace -I'll be back soon He Rang... I promise-
...
Coming back to the camp I see some men sneaking around curious, I come behind a young boy and grab his collar as he tries to spy on a group of guards talking to eachother -What do we have here?-
He gasps -Oh Miss Ying don't report me please- I release him -Why shouldn't I?- he looks at our sides -I was just curious!!!- he whines -Some men arrived at our camp and everyone is running around confused... First you and now other two, what the heck is going on? I'm so cuuuurious- the boys rolls his eyes
-Two men?- I tilt my head to one side -Tell me more and I'll close an eye on you sneaking around like a spy- he grins -Well, I don't know much but one is rumored to be a General from an Army nearby...- hope starts build up inside me -... And the other was missing an eye. I don't know much more for now-
My faint hope crushes at the unfitting description -Mhn fine, go now and stop sticking your nose around- he laughs and runs away -Will do!-
...
I head to the infirmary for my usual check up -So?- I ask anxious for a nice reply -Well... You seem to be doing much better but... You're not completely healed so we will have to hold you back a few more days-
I look down at the wound on my hip caused by a concussion from my recent fight -This is ridiculous, I'm clearly capable of riding a horse. Is your General holding me back or what? I need to go back to my men- I rise my voice toward the man who chickens away of a few centimeters -I'm sorry! Those are orders Miss Ying, please don't hurt us!-
-Whatever, I'm off- I breathe out and storm out of the tend.
A soldier currently working as a guard approaches me as soon as I leave the infirmary -Miss Ying, General Zhao requested of you-
-Have I done something wrong...?- the man doesn't reply and simply shows me the way.
...
I enter the tend and see three men talking with eachother around a table, I cough a bit to introduce myself having entered too silently
-Oh she's here- says the General -Then I'll be leaving you alone now- and the two men immediately turns around, looking at me with wide eyes -Lai'Er...- It's Qin Luo, it's really him! He calls me as if I was a hurr puppy on the street and as one I approach him step by step in complete silence.
-You're... Alive- he relaxes his face finally and throws himself on him, hugging me tight. For a moment I don't know how to react but end up reciprocating -I feared the worst... I thought that you... I mean, you were so weak before the battle and went Xu Lei told me he had all your powers... I... I'm so thankful, oh heavens thank you... Thank you- he doesn't let go for quite a while and only pulls himself back enough for me to notice the man behind him
-Xu Lei?- I notice the patch in his face and reach a hand to caress him but stop midway, feeling guilty for that too -What happened to your face?- he smiles -Nothing, I was just distracted. Thanks to your powers I managed to survive afterall- he tries to lighten up the mood but I only frown at his words
-If I was there none of this would have happened...- Qin Luo grabs one of my hands -It wasn't your fault, you were confined to the camp... Giving your powers to Xu Lei rescued him afterall- my eyes fall to the ground -He wouldn't have been there alone if it's wasn't for me deserving punishment-
-Punishment? Lai'Er, you've been falsely accused by a scumba...!- -Enough!- I yell on top of his voice, earning puzzled stares -We all know that it was my attitude what got me to being falsely accused anyway. Let's forget this for now-
The two men nods -Anyway, how are the others?- asks Qin Luo as a general this time
-Others?- I rise my eyes to meet his -We saw the traces of your escape back at the camp, how many ran away with you?-
-I'm... Not sure, I wasn't with everyone else... Sand men were approaching so I hurried everyone to leave, we had to make some... Sacrifices- I say, going back to my previous empty voice -I wanted to stay behind and cover their escape but... He Rang knocked me out and took me with him in a separate cart from the others-
-You wanted to do what?! In that state?!- Qin Luo shouts -As I sad before, thankfully He Rang is less reckless than you and saved you. By the way, where is he?-
I look him in the eyes and tears start to build up -Lai'Er?-
-The sand men already infiltrated us and played with us like mouses in a trap... I got paralyzed by a nurse with us and He Rang killed him all on his own... Then we lost the horse and got chased so He... He... He carried me up for hundreds of stairs... I couldn't do anything- I bury my face in his chest -It was agonizing, I couldn't talk or move and simple had to... Watch him die before me...-
He grabs my head and covers me before throwing a stare to Xu Lei who runs outside after the devastating news.
-Ge, I want to tear apart my heart and... Offer it to those I've faulted. He wouldn't have sacrificed himself if he wasn't injured in the first place... Since I've started this war I've hurt more people than I rescued!- he pushes my head further in his arms -Lai'Er, let's not talk for now... Please-
I notice a tremble in his voice and realize how wrong this whole situation is... I should be the one trying to remain calm as the others come undone, wasn't I supposed to be ready to make sacrifices for my survival? Since I thought I was the solution to this war...
Somehow Qin Luo is much more stronger than he was, has he been pushing himself just for my sake? All because he wants to reach me and support me. Am I driving him mad or polishing him?
Still, this doesn't change the fact that I can't help but she'd painful tears against my will...