America 2015

Friday class is finally over, not having any friends at school the classes are always long and boring , but since I need a job, I'm going anyway (especially because my father forces me to)

So I went home, by bike, as usual, every day it's the same, when I come home there will always be:

The neighbor above who looks at the mailbox, the neighbor below who hangs her laundry And... My father who, as usual, shouts on the phone, piercing my ears in the process.

Arriving home I told him frankly:

"Dad, aren't you tired of shouting all the time? You attract problems like that, you need to calm down."

"Don't worry about me, instead make friends at school and stop sleeping in class, then you can start a discussion with me "

"Huh if you want"

Since mom died his condition has gotten worse and worse, I never understood who he was shouting at like that, but it must be shit

Before I could enter my room, he suddenly said:

"Listen Nash, since your mother died, I'm lost, I'm starting to get into debt, and I can no longer have a proper life balance , I don't know if I'm capable of carrying you too, plus, I discovered not long ago that I had cancer .."

At this moment the world is like stopping for me, my father? The only person I still like, die?

"How long do you have it for?

"The doctors say I have about 1 month left."

"I can understand that you don't react to that or even that you are happy about my death, I was a lousy father, all I ever do is make you happy , I'm just a pathetic person, forgive me "

I said nothing, I went to my room, and for the first time I started to be depressed , I thought about too many things, I questioned my entire existence, then we sat down at the table

The meal we ordered pizzas, neither of us had the strength to cook

The meal passed in total silence until the end.

"dad ?"

"Yes? "

"Do you think I should kill myself ?"

"You are my son I shouldn't tell you but honestly, this life is filled with nothing but suffering, in the end dying or living nothing will change."

I then went back to my room, in the end I didn't sleep all night thinking about the meaning of life

" In the end it doesn't make any sense at all."

The next day, I was exhausted with puffy circles, I still went to school because for my father's last month I was going to do everything possible to try to make him happy

But nothing has changed, I definitely can't make friends and even in such circumstances, it was an ordinary day, too ordinary, I then returned Home by bike, but everything wasn't so ordinary, the neighbor upstairs didn't come to get the mail, the neighbor downstairs didn't hang out her laundry and my father...isn't shouting?

I was extremely surprised that these three things could happen at the same time, I hurried home, opened the door and saw my father...with a gun

"Nash, it's all your fault, you're going to pay the consequences."

My brain then stopped functioning due to the total confusion of the situation,But my body acted on its own, I ran at a crazy pace towards my room where I locked myself and barricaded the door

I heard two loud noises then nothing, I was completely terrified by what just happened, I didn't want to leave my room, I called the police anyway

They asked me to open the door slowly and see where my father was, you never know if he attacks other people.

I was very suspicious at first, but I still accepted, I opened the door to the living room slowly and...

"Oh my god"

I saw my father hanging on the living room lamp with 2 holes in his left hand and in his right hand

I immediately notified the police of the situation, they then arrived at my house....

I don't remember much at that point but I apparently said

"Why you kill him Jason "