Feeling the dry winter air, I walked along a path that I have come to feel
nostalgic about lately.
I've returned back to Japan after a long time… I guess you could say this
is kind of a homecoming, and walking through the streets makes me
feel a little solemn.
[Kaito-samaaaa, for listening to my selfishness todaaaaay, thank
youuuuu.]
[No, something like this is no problem.]
Moving my gaze to the voice I heard, there's Illness-san whose hand is
grasped in mine, looking up at me with a smile.
Today, Illness-san is wearing a white turtleneck innerwear, a long black
skirt, and brown short boots for shoes. Her outerwear is a lightcolored… I think the coat she's wearing is called a duffle coat? Anyhow,
she was dressed to match the outfits in my world.
Illness-san is quite petite, standing at about 120cm tall, but I think it's
amazing that she looks so mature with her dark, but not oppressive
winter-colors, calm atmosphere and fine gestures.
The reason why I came to Japan with Illness-san in the first place is… to
put it simply, it was because Illness-san wanted to.
When I was discussing the destination of my first few dates with
Illness-san, I asked her where she'd like to go… and she said that if it
were possible, she'd like to go to the world I used to live in…
Not granting Illness-san's wish, which was something she rarely does,
not being a choice, I had come to Japan with her after obtaining
permission from Eden-san, the God of this world.
[Illness-san, is there a place you'd like to go… is what I'd like to say, but I
guess Illness-san wouldn't know about the establishments here. Errr,
do you have any place you would like to go? If not, I'll take you to the
most popular places.]
[Let's seeeeee, the scenery heeeeere is so freeeeesh that it's difficult to
chooooose, but if I had to piiiiiiiick, there's a place I'd like to take me
toooooooo.]
[Of course, I will take you anywhere. Please don't hesitate to tell me.]
[Thank youuuuu.]
I have plenty of money and we have time to spare. As expected, it would
be difficult if we'd suddenly go to far places like Hokkaido or a foreign
country… but I'll do something about it.
However, contrary to my enthusiasm, the place Illness-san asked me to
go… was somewhere slightly unexpected.
Holding hands with Illness-san, we walked through a nondescript
residential area. It's not a shopping district, and there are no unusual
buildings or famous well-kept-secret shops.
If we walk a few distance further, we can find the big street, where
karaokes or game centers can be found, but we weren't aiming for those
places.
The place we were in was a path familiar to me…"the path I used to take
to commute from my house to the university", I walked leisurely with
Illness-san.
The reason why we were walking in a place like this is because Illnesssan asked me to "bring her to the streets and places I used to go when I
was living in this world".
So, here we are, walking together from the house I used to live in to the
university… There was really nothing unusual, so I was worried that
Illness-san might be bored.
However, from the emotions conveyed through my Sympathy Magic,
Illness-san seemed to be very happy.
[Ahh, it's just around here somewhere. This is the area where I was
summoned to Trinia.]
[Is that sooooo… It's this place huuuuuuuh~~]
Illness-san stopped in response to my words, and gazing at the empty
road, she looked somewhat happy.
H- Hmmm. I don't really know why, but I guess she's enjoying the walk.
[…Errr, Illness-san?]
[Yeeees?]
[Illness-san is… Ahh, no, I'm sorry. It's nothing.]
Illness-san doesn't really like noisy places, so I thought she'd chosen the
quietest place possible, but was this kind of place really alright? I was
curious and tried to ask her, but I couldn't think of a good way to ask
her. For me, this was just a scenery I had seen enough of, but for Illnesssan, a resident of another world, even a normal residential area like this
may look unusual.
If she wants to know about the scenes of the life of people in this world,
it makes sense why Illness-san seems to be enjoying herself. However,
when it comes to the question of where to take her after this… and that
is something I'm having a hard time thinking about.
When I lived in this world, the place I went to most often… would
definitely be Tokikaze Cemetery, where Mom and Dad's graves were
located, but there's no way I could take her to a cemetery far from the
urban city for our date.
I also couldn't bring her into the university because I've already
voluntarily withdrawn, and other than there, I can't remember a place
I'm familiar with… The only place left that comes to my mind would be
the convenience stores and restaurant chains.
As I was thinking about this, Illness-san turned to me and spoke with a
faint smile on her face.
[Are you curiouuuuuuus about the reason I asked for thiiiiiis?]
[Eh? Ahh, errr… Yes.]
Hearing Illness-san's question whether I was curious about why she
asked such a thing or not… I nodded my head, since I really am unsure
of her actual intentions.
[It might be a selfiiiiish and inconsiderate wiiiiish… but I wanted to see
iiiiiiit.]
[Unnn?]
[The you before we meeeeeeet, the you before we got acquainteeeeeed.
The scenery you look at back then tooooooo, those were things I'd like
to seeeeeeee.]
[...]
[The fact thaaaaaat I didn't meet Kaito-sama back in the paaaaaast was
something I regreeeeeet. Being together with Kaito-sama like thiiiiiis
makes me really happyyyyyy. I wonder if that's whyyyyy? I wanted to
seeeeeeeee the scenery of Kaito-sama looking at this world sooooooo
much, that I oculdn't help but be selfiiiiiiiish.]
Illness-san looked somewhat apologetic when she said that but… I don't
think what she said was selfishness at all.
If I had to describe it, Illness-san was just indirectly telling me "I want
to know more about you", and how should I say this… I was just happy.
[You're not being selfish at all, and in fact, hearing you tell me that
makes me happy… Incidentally, errr, when I was in this world, the place
I visited the most was the cemetery where my parents' graves were… So
I guess that's where we'll go next?]
[Yeeeees, If Kaito-sama allows iiiiiiit, definitelyyyyyyy.]
Tokikaze Cemetery, where Mom and Dad's graves were buried, is
located in the same prefecture, just a little far from the urban city. It's
more of a commuter town than a rural area, and the area around the
nearest train station seems a bit deserted when I visit at noon.
The cemetery was a bit far from the cemetery, a distance where you
would take a bus or a cab, but I always walked from the station to visit
my parents' graves, so I walked with Illness-san this time as well.
On the way there, there was a slightly large supermarket, and I always
bought flowers for offerings at the flower shop in the supermarket. The
supermarket and florist were still in business as before, and since I'm
passing them by, I decided to check it out.
It's not like I'm visiting a grave today… I mean, Mom and Dad are alive
and well in Trinia. So, as I was looking at the various flowers, the kinds
that weren't used for grave offerings, I saw Illness-san's gaze move to a
certain flower.
[…Speaking of which, do you like roses, Illness-san?]
As I asked that, I looked at the scarf I was wearing around my neck…
the scarf that Illness-san once gave me for Valentine's Day and touched
it.
There are three red roses embroidered on the lining of this scarf. No,
not only this muffler, as the cape and lap blanket that Illness-san handknitted and gave to me also had three red roses embroidered on its
lining, and I thought about asking her about it someday.
After hearing my words, still staring at the roses, Illness-san calmly told
me.
[I guess sooooo, if asked what my favorite flower currently iiiiiis, it
would definitely be roseeeeees.]
[I see… Since we're at it, how about we buy some?]
[Nooo~~ I'll have to refuse heeeeeeere. It would just be extra
burdeeeeeen, and alsoooo, "it wouldn't be enough".]
After smiling at me, Illness-san moved her gaze to another flower. How
should I say this… It sounded a little strange, but seeing how happy
Illness-san looked, I didn't feel like asking her any more questions.
After looking at the flowers for a while, Illness-san and I moved towards
the supermarket.
[Illness-san, there aren't many restaurants around here, so how about
we buy some bentos?]
[I've prepared a bento for uuuuuuus, would you like to have
luuuuuunch?]
[Eh? You made bento for us?]
[Yeeeees.]
Thankfully, it seems that Illness-san has prepared bentos for us. To be
honest, I'm quite happy about this. Illness-san's home-cooked meals are
actually a bit valuable after all.
This is because, although Illness-san is a good housekeeper and a
professional cook, she basically leaves the cooking back home to the
head chef, and aside from cookies, cakes and other sweets, there are
surprisingly few opportunities to taste her homemade cooking.
Also, more than anything, it's nice to know that my girlfriend has
prepared a homemade lunch for me.
[Thank you. I'm very happy. Then, I think we should at least buy some
drinks… There's a large park a short walk away from here, so we can
eat there.]
[Yeeeees.]
After buying a bottle of tea at the supermarket, I went to the park with
Illness-san and sat down on a bench. This park was like a nature park,
with hardly any play equipment, but instead lots of greenery and nice
scenery.
[I hope it's to your tasteeee.]
The bento that Illness-san took out for me wasn't that so-called picnic
bento with rice balls and sandwiches… and was more like a side dishes
and rice separately packed in a small, two-tiered bento box. How should
I say this… It was like a homemade bento.
Since Illness-san is a well-prepared person, she may have consulted
Aoi-chan and Hina-chan beforehand and prepared bento in the style of
our world.
[Thank you! They looks really delicious.]
[If you're happy with theeeeem, I'm happy toooooo.]
It's not something I've ever dared to say, but as someone who lost both
parents early on and was left alone in middle school and high school,
I've always had a bit of a yearning for these homely bentos.
Moreover, when it was handmade by my lovely girlfriend, I couldn't
help but get excited.
Egg rolls, meatballs, potato salad… Ahh, there are also wieners cut into
the shape of octopi. They looked so delicious that eating them felt like a
waste.
With that in mind, I turned to Illness-san and saw that she had
elegantly laid a handkerchief on her thigh and then, pulled out a bento
box that was slightly smaller than mine.
Hmmm, I really think it's amazing how even her smallest gestures give
out a mature vibe around her.
[Thank you for the food.]
[Yeeeees. Please enjoy your meeeeeeal.]
Putting my hands together for a moment, I ate my lunch using the
chopsticks provided… Unnn, it's insanely delicious. Not only is Illnesssan a really good cook, but how should I say this… It's like the foods
were exquisitely tailored to my taste.
The sweet egg rolls are cooked in a way that they're only slightly
solidified, the meatballs are a little deeply seasoned, and the potato
salad is a little lightly seasoned… They're the best.
They were also homemade by my lovely girlfriend, and having our
lunch side by side in a scenic spot like this… It was so great that it
couldn't be helped if some unknown voice screamed at me to go
explode. It's a situation that I'm really longing for… This is happiness.
It would be even more wonderful if we could exchange feeding each
other at a time like this, but I guess that would be too greedy of me. No,
perhaps, no, definitely, if I ask her, she would do it… but as expected, I
was more than a little embarrassed to ask for it.
As I was thinking about that, Illness-san glanced at me, and leaking out
a smile, she spoke.
[Kaito-samaaaa.]
[Yes?]
[It seems like I prepared a bit too much for meeee~~ so if you don't
miiiiind, could you eat a biiiiiit?]
[Eh? Ahh, yes.]
When I nodded my head, Illness-san dexterously picked up a piece of
egg roll from her bento with her chopsticks and held it to me,
supporting it with her other hand to keep it from falling.
[Ahhn.]
And with those few words… I wondered if she's actually the Holy
Mother everyone should worship.
It seems that Illness-san knew exactly what I was thinking earlier. I felt
embarrassed, but more than that, I was filled with happiness.
The egg roll that Illness-san fed me seemed to be strangely much
sweeter than the one I had just eaten.
After finishing my lunch, I took a short break while sipping my tea. It
was winter, but the weather was fine and there was almost no wind, so
it was warm and comfortable.
The only thing I have planned for the rest of the day is to go to Tokikaze
Cemetery, so I still have plenty of time to relax here.
[Fuaaahhh———— Ahh, excuse me.]
[Kuhihi, it's a beautiful day after aaaaaall, you can't help but get
sleepyyyyyy.]
Now that my stomach is full, I felt a little sleepy and let out a yawn, but
Illness-san didn't seem to mind and looked like she was having fun.
After smiling at her peculiar smile, which I now found adorable, Illnesssan lightly patted her skirt with her hand before she gently spoke.
[If you waaaaaant, how about getting some reeeeest? I don't know if it's
comfortable to sleep ooooon, but I can prepare a simple pillow for
youuuuu.]
[That would be…]
[Yeeeeees. That is, if Kaito-san is okay with iiiiiiit.]
Apparently, if I wanted, Illness-san would give me a lap pillow. What a
tempting proposal this is… It's too difficult to resist. Rather, I don't see
any reason to resist.
The park was empty, with just the two of us, and the benches were large
enough for one to lie down. The weather is fine and beside me is my
gentle, motherly lover… You could say that the situation is perfect.
[Errr… Then, do you mind if I took you up on your offer?]
[Yeeees, go oooooon.]
In the end, I decided to accept her suggestion and brought my head on
her thigh, even though I'm a bit nervous. Her lap has a pleasant aroma
and a happy softness to it.
This was a supremely comfortable lap pillow that would make me let go
of my consciousness in an instant if I'm not careful… What a luxurious
moment this is.
As I laid down, Illness-san gently reached out her hand and softly
stroked my head. Well, I've really been thinking about this for a while,
but Illness-san feels accepting, or more like, she's quite motherly… As
expected, she is the Holy Mother, right?
As I was thinking about this, the pleasantness started making me doze
off… when I heard Illness-san's voice.
[Kaito-samaaaa, back in the Six Kings Festivaaaaaal, do you
remembeeeer the song I sung back theeeeeen?]
[…It was "A Small Story", right?]
Her voice was so gentle that I wanted to listen to it forever, accelerating
my sleepiness, but I managed to hold it in as I asked back.
Without stopping her hand from stroking my head, Illness-san
continued.
[It didn't go as well as the song huuuuuh.]
[Unnn? What do you mean…]
[It seems that I, toooooo, have become very greedyyyyy. I thought it
would be fine if I could just read your storiiiiiiiiies… but it seemed like it
wasn't good enough for me. Right nooooow, I'm thinking that I want to
be drawn into your story as weeeeeell, making you smiiiiiile, together
with youuuuu.]
[...…]
She slightly sounded somewhat self-mocking, but I couldn't find regret
in her voice… as if she was enjoying the change, despite the
bewilderment she felt, Illness-san spun her words, as if she were
singing.
[Compared to the me back theeeeen, I've become selfiiiiiish and
greedyyyy… but you still be alright with iiiiiiit?]
[…Isn't that obvious? I mean, I don't know how many times I told you
this, but you're not being selfish or greedy at all, Illness-san. In fact, I
think you should request of me a bit more.]
[Kuhihi, a bit more huuuuuh… That would be troubliiiiiing. When I'm
together with Kaito-samaaaaa, I'm immediately filled with
happineeeeess, so I can't think of anything else to ask foooooor.]
[Ahaha, when you say it like that, it also makes me happy. But really, you
can ask of me more, okay?]
[Yeeeeeees. Theeeeen, when I think of somethiiiiing, I'll let you
knoooooow.]
[Yes.]
[Kuhihi.]
After she said that with a happy smile on her face, Illness-san didn't
continue to say anything else and just continued to sofly stroke my
head. And I, too, wrapped up her comfortable warmth of happiness,
didn't say anything else and let my consciousness sink into slumber.
After taking a short nap, I headed to the Tokikaze Cemetery again with
Illness-san. Walking up the stairs to the cemetery on top of a small hill,
we entered the cemetery.
Probably because it was a weekday, there were no people at all, and we
soon reached our destination after a short walk.
[…This is where Mom and Dad's graves used to be.]
[I seeeeeee.]
[Well, this really wasn't the case anymore… but this is the place I visited
the most before I went to Trinia… and this is the view I saw the most.]
Actually, Mom and Dad's graves are no longer here. They themselves
asked for them to be removed… They said they felt bad asking Uncle
and Aunt to take care of their graves when they had already come back
to life, so I asked Eden-san to do something about it after I explained
the situation to Uncle and Aunt.
I don't really know the details, but since Eden-san is an omniscient and
omnipotent God, she was able to adjust the situation easily and quickly,
and the place where Mom and Dad's graves used to be is now vacant. I
think someone's grave will be built here soon.
That's not a bad thing. Mom and Dad are living with me in another
world, and I don't have any good memories of this place.
[…Embarrassing it may be to say this, but I've spent an astounding
amount of time in this place. Looking back on it now, I realize that in the
end, I couldn't accept the death of my parents and was just looking for a
reminder of them. I didn't realize it for a long time though.]
[...…]
[Well, now that I have… I realized the kindness of the important people
around me, and even though I might have walked through an indirect
path, I'm glad that it happened.]
Crouching in the empty lot, I lightly clasped my hands together just like
back then. I wonder what this feeling is? It's not loneliness, nor is it
sadness. It's not that I don't like the fact that my parents' graves were
gone either.
But even so, perhaps, I may be feeling a little melancholic at the fact
that the scenery I have seen so many times has changed.
As I was staring at the empty space with this inexplicable feeling
budding within my heart, a shadow suddenly appeared. When I looked
up, I saw Illness-san standing right in front of me, walking nearby
before I knew it.
Thereupon, Illness-san bent down a bit and crouching down, she held
my head closer… and gently embraced me.
[Illness-san?]
[I'm not trying to be sympathetiiiiiic. I'm also not trying to comfort
youuuuu.]
Feeling her soft and comforting touch, her gentle scent tickles my
nostrils and her warmth that envelops me… I felt helplessly reassured.
[All I wanted was just to hug youuuuu. You could saaaay that it's just my
selfishneeeeess.]
[…I see.]
[Since you've given me permission to ask of you moooooore, can we
stay like this for a whiiiiile?]
[…Yes.]
This is a very unfair selfishness. I couldn't fully explain the emotions I
was feeling within me. I wasn't feeling lonely, nor am I feeling sad…
However, I may just be feeling slightly hungry for human warmth.
Illness-san must have sensed that. That must be why she told me that
she wasn't being sympathetic or trying to comfort me. Asking me to go
along with her selfishness, she held me within her warmth.
This kind of gentle selfishness is really unfair… and of course, I wouldn't
have any choice but let myself be spoiled by her.
How much time had passed? When Illness-san gently let go of my head,
the fuzzy feeling in my chest from earlier had completely disappeared.
In fact, when I thought about it after I calmed down, that feeling of
security I felt earlier was quite dangerous. Since Illness-san's motherly
nature is tremendous, I feel that if I'm not careful, I might get into the
habit of getting spoiled by her.
Feeling a little embarrassed, I left the cemetery holding hands with
Illness-san again. It was winter now, and even though it isn't night yet,
the sky started getting dyed in the reddish tinge of sunset.
The cemetery is located on a hill, so we could see the view of the city
just before it changed from day to evening. Seeing such a scene, I
couldn't help but stop in the middle of the stairs from the cemetery and
take in the view.
I've been to this cemetery countless times before… but I never thought
that the scenery here would be so beautiful. No, I wasn't able to notice
it.
Just by having a different mindset, the scenery that I was used to seeing
looks different. I feel like being able to notice it… was something I
consider really fortunate.
Thereupon, at that moment, Illness-san suddenly let go of my hand, and
before I could turn around, she walked up the stairs again.
[Illness-san?]
[Speaking of whiiiiich~~ There's something impooooooortant I forgot
to tell Kaito-samaaaa.]
[Something important?]
As she moved to a position directly in front of me, Illness-san nodded
her head. The difference in height between Illness-san and me is almost
50 cm, so even after she went up the stairs, she was still looking up at
me.
[Didn't Kaito-samaaaa ask me earlier if I like roseeeees?]
[Eh? Ah, yes. I did ask you that.]
[I do like roseeeees. Especially red roseeeees… Did you knooooow?
Roses have different words depending on their coloooooor, and red
roses, in particulaaaaaar, have different meanings depending on the
number of roses you give to someoneeeee.]
[So that's how it is. I didn't know that.]
Talking about the conversation we had at the flower shop before
coming here, Illness-san gently held out her hand towards me… and
saying "Excuse me", she unwrapped the scarf off my neck.
Slowly showing me the three red roses embroidered on the scarf's
lining, she calmly explained.
[One rose means "love at first siiiiiight". Two roses means that "there's
only you two people in their wooooorld". When you give them to
someoneeeeee, depending on the number of pieceeeees, the meanings
would chaaaaaange.]
[I see… Err, then, what about three roses?]
The first thing that came to mind when I heard Illness-san's explanation
was what giving three roses mean in the flower language. This is
because many of the gifts I have received from Illness-san have had
three roses embroidered on them…
When I asked her about it, she gently smiled and her eyes clearly
focusing on me, she spoke.
[When you give three red roseeeees, in the flower languaaaaaage…]
[Eh? Ahh…]
[…Hnnn.]
Thereupon, Illness-san lightly pulled on my scarf that she was still
holding on. She didn't do it very forcefully, but a gentle enough pull that
I could resist if I wanted to…
Led by the sensation of being pulled downward and slightly bent over,
Illness-san reached closer almost at the same time.
Then, as if drawn together, my lips and Illness-san's overlapped.
The first thing I felt was the amazing softness of her lips and the faint
warmth of her body, and the next thing I felt was the strangely sweet
taste… and great affection.
In an instant, my head became numb and I couldn't think of anything
else. Our kiss continued gently, but deeply.
I don't know how long we had been kissing, but when Illness-san slowly
pulled her face away, I thought I could see the silver thread connecting
our lips, as if to hold dear upon the last vestige of our connection,
illuminated by the setting sun.
As my head gradually regained its composure with a faint feeling of
loneliness, wishing that I could have tasted more of that happiness,
Illness-san told me with a dazzling smile.
[…"I love you."]
It was the meaning held by three roses in the flower language, and at
the same time, they were words filled with the feelings that my
reserved girlfriend was conveying to me in a roundabout way.
The expression on Illness-san's face, illuminated by the reddish hue of
the setting sun… among the expressions I had seen after being together
with her, I think this was the most beautiful I've ever seen.
[…Illness-san, do you mind if I ask something?]
[Yeeees?]
[Why did you say earlier that the flower shop doesn't have enough? I
think they had more than three red roses though…]
Hearing my words, with a heartfelt smile on her face, Illness-san
responded.
[Until Kaito-sama and I became loveeeeers, three roses would have
been enouuuuugh… but nooooow, I feel like I want to give Kaito-sama
"101 roses", so they didn't have enough.]
[…101 huh… What does that mean in the flower language?]
[…"I couldn't love you mooooore".]
[I see… In that case, I'd like to give Illness-san 101 roses too.]
[Kuhihi, in that case, shall we exchange roses someday?]
[That sounds great, let's do that.]
When I saw Illness-san looking straight at me and smiling adorably, I
felt as if we were sharing happiness with each other… and I felt like I
understood why she asked me to come here, and the feeling of "wanting
to see the same scenery".
That's why, it might have been inevitable.
After the both of us chuckled… I bent down again, and Illness-san
reached closer once more…