I don't know where the beginning was, or even if there was a beginning
in the first place.
I was already standing at the "end" when my existence took a definite
shape. There is no particular reason for me to have ended so many
worlds.
It was just a natural act for me, as natural as living creatures breathe.
Destruction God of the Apocalypse, the End of the Story… I always stood
where one meets its end. No, to be more accurate… It's not that I choose
to stand where one meets their end, should I say that it's just that the
place where I stand turns out to be the end?
Either way, the result will still be the same, and it may not be worth
pondering about. Anyhow, I have witnessed many beings' demise, and
ended countless stories.
When did the change come? I don't think a big trigger happened at that
time either. Without any warning, the question "What is a heart?"
suddenly came to my mind.
As for simple knowledge about this matter, I obviously know. The many
beings I have brought to their end have had a wide range of emotions.
Anger, grief, resignation, joy… I had seen a number of such emotions. I
was able to guess what they were from my knowledge.
However, what I didn't understand… getting angry, grieving someone,
being happy… Those emotions, "how can I do that"?
To me, the heart that was within my knowledge, the emotions… They
were something I didn't know about. I'm pretty sure that must be why.
I listened to Earth God and created a world… I guess I thought that if I
did that, I might be able to understand what the heart and emotions
are.
I have made many changes to the world I have created.
I thought that if I "create an existence that can defeat me", something
might change.
"If a part of my power is put into a Demon", something special might be
born.
If I create "a being that specializes only in destruction", some kind of
impact may occur.
If I create "a being with magic power that directly affects emotions" by
using "the soul of an Evil God from another world that I had
accidentally acquired", I may be able to learn what emotions are.
If I "create and alter a plant that doesn't hold any emotions", I may be
able to find a clue that will give me emotions.
If I make "a being born in this world to have an abnormal evolution, I
might be able to find what is the primary cause that brought the change
within me.
If I "lead a being from another world into this world", a new change may
occur.
I guess you could say it worked. The existence of the being that can
defeat me, born as a result of my whim, has taught me that I too have a
heart.
But still, I still did not know what emotions were.
Whenever my half-body… Kuro laughed or got angry, I wondered. Why
is it that she, who was supposed to be the same being as me, could do
such a thing so naturally? Why can't I, who was supposed to be the
same being as her, do the same thing?
Thinking about it again, I think I had a heart and emotions when such a
question appeared in my mind… but that was something I didn't realize
for a while.
The reason I sought out Kaito-san, the reason I treated Kaito-san
special… was because he was the singularity that taught me emotions…
You are the being I had been seeking for.
I wanted to have emotions. Thus, I wanted to be special to you. My
singularity, the being I had been seeking for… I thought that if I could
make him mine… I could stand in a "place that isn't the end" just like
the others.
It didn't turn out the way I wanted. However, it turned out much better
than I could have imagined.
Kaito-san… brought an end to "the me who was the End of the Story".
The me who was only a phenomenon that ended everything… Without
knowing anything, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, he
sought after "me, the being named Shallow Vernal".
Without you, I would have been unaware of my feelings. Without you, I
would not have turned my gaze to anything other than me.
Because you made me aware, I was able to know myself. I have come to
know my surroundings. More than anything, I'm really glad about that.
The name of "the being who can defeat me" is Kuromueina. She is a
kind-hearted friend who was born from half of myself, but she walks on
a different path than I do.
The name of "the Demon in which part of my power resides" is Ein. The
first of Kuro's family, given the name holding the thoughts of beginning.
The name of "the being that specializes only in destruction" is Megiddo.
She personally sealed her heart that only seeks destruction, and
instead, gained a heart that enjoys fighting.
The name of "the being with magic power that directly affects
emotions" is Isis. Even as she suffers from the power of her curse, she
never lost her kind heart and hope, growing to become the kind King of
Death.
The name of "the plant that gained emotions" is Lillywood. She's a
beautiful flower that was the origin of many other plants who gained
their own hearts… The Spirits.
The name of "the being that abnormally evolved" is Magnawell. The
King of Dragons, with a deep vessel befitting someone having the
largest body in the world.
The name of "the being from another world" is Shalltear… No, Alice.
She's the King of Illusions and Dreams who deceived the world,
someone who I'm no match with when it comes to the realm of the
heart and emotions.
I have made some changes to their beginnings. But the things that
followed were theirs alone, not anyone else.
Now, I understood the meaning of what Kuro meant when she said
"This world belongs to the beings who live in it". And I'm proud of that…
[…Shiro-san?]
When I was pondering for a moment, Kaito-san was looking at me with
a wondering expression on his face.
[No, it's nothing.]
Smiling at his loving gaze, and holding his hand, we started walking
again.
Ahh, seriously… What a happy feeling this is, thinking about "how I'm
looking forward to the future". And every time I am with Kaito-san, I can
feel it.
I'm now "standing not at the end of the story", but "in the middle of a
happy story"…