Chapter 7 - [Hero’s Party] Emmy: Why Can’t We Realize to Treat the Things we Lost Better Before We Lose it

Russell is in front of me leaning against the wall. Blood continues to drip down from his head as he kept still not lifting even one finger. The usually calm Jannet is now panicking trying to use recovery magic on him. As for me, I just kept on looking, stunned, as if it's not any of my problem. It's the thing that I don't want to happen the most, and the thing that makes it worse, is its disastrous consequence. My hands unconsciously tremble from the unexpected outcome. The shield made a loud thud as it fell from my left hand. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. But the thing I hate the most about this is— Above everything else, is that I was the one who did it. There's always this issue in the party that's been around for a while. It's about Russell being passive in our dungeon crawls. Everyone always thought that Russell is not that bad and his powers aren't weak. That's why I never thought of Russell moving out of the party. We've always been together growing up. Because we've always been together, I always thought that it's just natural that we'll always have each other by our side. Russell is always there to help me for all the things that I lost or forgot. Back then when we were kids, I lost something and later on realized that it was very important so I cried and cried like a pup. I'm so bad looking for my own stuff that Russel always finds it first before I do. That's why I was just always crying while waiting for Russell's troubled face and say 'here' every time. Russell has always been attentive and always been there for me. I always thought that he will always be there for me to pick me up again and again and again. I've always thought the four of will always be together. It seems that I was the only one who thinks like that. [Hey, Emmy. Won't it be impossible for Russell later on?] (Vince) [It's getting harder lately. But I'll try harder to protect him as a [Holy Knight]] [Nope. Not that. I mean it's impossible for Russell to explore with us together anymore.] (Vince) [...eh?] It took a bit longer for me to understand what Vince was trying to say. I was able to figure out from what he said earlier that he's slowly bidding his time to push Russell out of our party. [You're serious?] [Oh, I told Jannet already.] […Did she agree?] [Yez] I… I see. I didn't get it earlier but it's true that Russell is getting in danger more recently. Russell was really amazing at first as he was bestowed as the highest class to serve the Goddess base on the religion's beliefs. It's the coming of the legendary [Saint]. That's why I always hold high expectations to Russell during our dungeon crawls. But at the end, Russell was not able do his job and perform to the best of abilities of a [Saint]. Everyone's just too strong. Ofcourse that's not bad. It's good if someone is not hurt. Also… Jannet learned recovery magic too. Back then, I looked at Russell by reflex, and saw him made a terrible face as if he saw something that he shouldn't see. And then me too… Ended up learning the recovery magic . I'm a non-magic based warrior but can use something similar with a recovery mage. Then what's the purpose of the recovery mage in the first place. When the first time Russell knew that I ended up learning recovery magic too, his face appeared like he was in an indescribable pain as he just watched and smiled in the room. Since that day, the times we talked with each other is almost zero. –To be honest. During that time, I've never hated my class for it being powerful. And then, today. A middle-class monster called Blood Taurus noticed that Russell's level is lower compared to us and aimed his attacks at him. Protecting someone is one of my strengths as a [Holy Knight]. I protected Russell which resulted to a slight injury on my arm. At the same time I was hit, I used recovery magic to heal myself. It stings even though it isn't a serious injury. But healing it is better as it gives me a sense of security. However, it looks like Vince won't let it slip. I didn't think that it was serious enough to stop us from being together anymore. But I was wrong. Vince really wants Russell to be expelled from the party. And then, it started with an argument until Russell raised his sword and struck me which made the issue come into conclusion. Jannet healed Russell until it looks like he was not injured in the first place but he still did not wake up as I look at him fall slowly from his leaning position. Vince scoffed at Russell as he looks down to him full of contempt. [Ha! Its decided. Russell is no longer with us] [N-no! What happened earlier was weird! That's not counted! There's a weird skill activated without me doing anything!] (Emmy) [… If I'm not mistaken, I heard Russell said earlier that he will be moving out if he got hurt. Or you'll tell me, 'he isn't injured. He just fainted when he touched me. It isn't that bad. So, let's just go together again'?] […] [In the first place, you're the one who did this, Emmy.] I can't say anything back… This… I'm really the one who made this happen. [Besides, what would Russell think of you when he wakes up?] [That's…] When I heard that the first thing I thought of was… The first thing I thought of was… —I'm scared. What does Russell think of me? Back when we were all playing with the tree branches, we got along together but I can't beat the boys at all. Compared to Vince, Russell is one step behind but he always has this comforting air in him and made him more gentle. However, as a boy who cares about pride, Russell was able to increase his victories against Vince as we go on. And then we grow up… When I got the chance to look at his face up close earlier, I could only think that he has become really handsome… And… I knocked out that guy, who's always doing his best, using the class the goddess has bestowed to me. Russell is already in a disadvantage against me as I can use recovery magic too. I…I won't even be afraid of a middle-class monster charging at me. But… I'm scared that Russell will avoid me. I'm too selfish, pretentious, a bit afraid… […Okay.] We've gathered all the things of the party and just left all of his things in the room. Vince confiscated Russell's tag earlier. He's no longer a part of our party. I can't help but feel like crying imagining tomorrow without him. Why… I wonder why did this happen to us. We even promised to become the best party in the world when we left the village and yet… Just why… I wonder what went wrong. We were really close back then in the past. Vince left the room. Jannet took out lots of silvers from her own bag and put it into Russell's pocket and left after looking back on him once more. And the last person, Me. . [It's alright if you'll hate me…] . I leisurely said to Russell as he sleep. I left the room so I can avoid his reply that eventually will never come. I am too selfish until the end but I am scared and I just want to escape. While Vince was walking in front, he keeps on sneaking glances on Jannet's face… Ah no, on her chest… Jannet looks thinner due to what she's wearing. I wonder what this guy's thinking when he just forced Russell out. Jannet isn't saying anything. But I think the amount she gave to Russell wasn't small. Russell can talk and keep up with Jannet when it comes to books so they must have been close too. I'm sure Jannet's feeling guilty inside her as well. I can somehow understand. I don't know… It just feels that there's now an empty hole in my heart. Now when I think about it, even when we have nothing to talk about, it was always Jannet and Vince in front and me and Russell on the back. And right now, there's no one beside me. I just realize that upon looking at the back of the two, that between them and Russell, Russell occupies the largest piece inside of me. I wonder why I just realize it now. Really… I still just don't realize how important is something before I lose it. …But now. The kind hearted boy who's always there for me when we were young to look for the things I lost will not be by my side anymore. The next day after we rented a new inn for the party, we went to the guild to report that Russell is not a member anymore and returned his tag. I feel my heart being clenched upon seeing that. Afterwards, we've now settled all the things we needed to do for today. We ate lunch and aimlessly walk around the city. Maybe we'll meet Russell by accident or how awkward might it be if our eyes meet or something like that. Those are the only things I can think about. Unknowingly, we passed by in front of the church where we got our classes. I just casually looked at it and catch a glimpse of a blonde woman sparkling inside the church. Somehow, for whatever reason, the glittering light of the stained glass is really noticeable even from far away. I didn't know someone can be that pretty… When the woman's eyes and ours met, she came forward to us immediately. I watch the woman make her way to us and heard Vince swallowed pretty hard when he saw her coming. She just looks more beautiful and brilliant when she left the church and walked under the sun. The beautiful woman leans forward with her golden eyes that shine brightly along with her hair and look at Vince as she calls out to him with that posture exuding her mature charms. [You guys are a well-known party around here, right? Would it be alright if you take me with you even just for a bit~?] Looking at Vince as he keeps turning his head up and down whether to look at the beautiful woman's face or the deep valley between her chest… I turned to Jannet and she must have thought of the same thing. This guy will never ever refuse someone like this. …I wonder what is Russell doing right now…