The next morning, an older deaconess by the name of Charis was assigned to keep an eye on me.
"I've come to aid in changing Your Holiness' clothes," she had said at dawn, a neatly folded temple dress in her arms.
"... I am able to change by myself."
"His Holiness insists. It is merely a gesture of goodwill for the Saintess who had protected us all those years ago."
It wasn't like I wanted to protect anyone. I was like a doll back then, doing merely what I was told. At first, I did my best because I didn't want to disappoint the father I had met for the first time. But then that day came, and I slowly realized that no matter what I did, I was nothing but a tool. After all, what story is better than the Pope reuniting with his long lost daughter, a remnant of his old and deceased lover? I believed it myself. At least, I wanted to at first.
"Father."
I didn't realize it until I had left the temple. While it was true Father's divinity was strong and unparalleled to nearly anyone…
"I can't hear or feel them at all. The Divine Surya isn't even here."
… Father was a fraud. I have been able to feel Surya's warmth my whole life. Yet when Father preached the Divine Surya's will as commands for the people, I was not able to feel the slightest bit of the deity's divinity. The temple became silent, and not a single person in the clergy said a word as all eyes fell on me. I was a child who he could have easily dismissed as being inexperienced. It had only been a few days since I joined the temple after all.
But the way his face fell. From then on, I was no longer a little trinket to garner sympathy and blessings. I was a threat.
The Mister's fingers firmly pressed into my shoulders, trembling along with the wide and crooked grin on his face.
"Listen here, Brat. I'm selling you off right now. I'm selling you to the man who hurt your mother, just for money."
The deaconess helped me undress on the first day, peeling away the protective fabric on my forearms. Right beneath were the faded scars that branched into fern-like leaves. No matter how much divinity I had, it's impossible to heal old scars like those. To inflict such agonizing pain on others using divinity… it should have been a crime. Even corrupted beasts have been killed in a kinder manner.
While the deaconess began folding my old battle dress, I looked at myself in the mirror. Carefully, I traced the large scar just between my ribs. The skin was slightly smoother in texture, but otherwise completely healed.
… it really has been a thousand years, then.
And so a week passed. Charis showed me to one of the temple baths that were reserved for Cardinals and the Pope. I appreciated that at least, as Cardinals rarely gather at the main temple. It was only during divine events, such as Divine Revelations, when all of the higher ranks in the temple came together. Father abused that religiously.
I had no inkling as to what I wanted to do. Should I remain in the temple just as I did before? If I leave and run, where do I even go? And what to do. Even with few and fond memories of my mother, I knew little of my own people. What I knew could be useless given the change that comes with many eras. Corruption's Budding Vessel had been dealt with and so the beasts that spawn with corruption should have lessened significantly, rendering the need for my divinity useless as well.
[—will you come with me, and live with me and my family?]
I clench my fist and shake my head softly. The Temple doesn't even know what happened after Shivani disappeared. With a thousand years, Surya knows where Shivani's family have spread off to. For all I knew, their people may not even be in the kingdom anymore. And so, I've been left with nothing, and no one to wait for me.
[Find your sun.]
The rustle of fabric upon the bed is abrupt when I sit up. The words I heard in my slumber only come to me now. My fingertips curl upon the surface of the comforter as the gears in my mind shift slowly. It is as if I had finally come to my senses to the present. Could it be possible? Is that why I've awoken in this era, and not one before or after?
Shivani is dead. That much, I know now. But in our world that the Divine Surya had created, souls following death after an ambiguous amount of time return to the land where they belong. That cycle of rebirth happens continuously. So then, the reason why I breathe again a millenia later—
—is it to reunite with my beloved? My sun, my Shivani?
The low heels of my boots click against the polished floor as I quickly approach the door of this bedroom. Frankly, such a thing would be nearly impossible. Even if the Divine Surya has allowed us to meet again in this time, there has never been a recorded instance where someone has recollected memories of any of their past lives. Even if I met Shivani, the person they are now would not be the same person as the one I fell in love with.
With a low creak, the door closes behind me. I clench my fist, curling my fingers against my chest. Even that is fine. That doesn't change a thing. I love Shivani, no matter what form they are in. Even if Shivani is a stranger, who knows not of who or what I am, I just want to see them again.
And maybe, just maybe… they could grant me my one, selfish, wish of finally being happy together.
♢♦︎♢
"What… did you say?"
The man with faded brown hair and aimless purple eyes sits calmly with an unreadable expression.
"I cannot allow you to leave this temple."
"..." For a moment, my mind went blank. Did I mishear him? I blink away as my heart begins to palpitate in my chest, ironically reminiscent of this situation. Quietly, I steel myself, murmuring about, "... May I ask why?"
"Did you really think you could leave? Escape?"
The images begin to overlap one another again, and I can't help but compare them when the next words leave the brunette's mouth.
"You are not prepared—"
"You are not prepared for the outside world."
And so it happens again. Father and this man's silhouettes, and even their words mirroring each other. The Pope lifts his head, his irises moving as if searching for something from me.
"Did you read any of the texts left in your room?"
"A wench like you can't even memorize the basic texts."
My fingers stiffen by my side.
"No," I barely manage to breathe out. Vaguely, I do recall a small pile of books left on a dresser in the room I was assigned to. Some of them looked quite old, and some of them newer. Either way, all of them were preserved in the highest condition possible. "Why would I need to look at those old scriptures again?
Once again, their words overlap, reminiscent of one another. It's an uncanny resemblance that it almost makes me laugh.
"You are young and naive, too ignorant to how the outside truly works. It's much different than the sheltered life you've lived before."
All the while, the Pope of this era remains calm and collected, slightly wrinkled but unblemished and well kept hands folded over one another. This time, I scoff incredulously.
"Sheltered? Young and naive…?" It's under my breath, but it's still appalling nonetheless. For the only time it seems, I look the Pope straight in the eye. "Your Holiness, who am I?"
He's silent, contemplating, for a moment.
"... why, the Saintess, of course."
"Yes. I am the Saintess." My cold fingertips have become hot as blood rushes to my head. I'm practically seething now. "The Saintess, who, instead of an army of knights or a platoon of Paladins and Priests, was sent off to fight all of the land's corruption infused monsters at fourteen."
It's comical.
"I was 'old' enough to save the country and even its borders with the others, but now I am too young to walk through the streets of the very Kingdom I died for?!"
The Pope's eyes then close as he breathes a quiet sigh.
"... the first the Saintess should know is that we are no longer a Kingdom, but an Empire." He pauses a moment longer, as if it's supposed to mean something greater. As he sees I haven't changed in demeanor, he continues. "And while I understand your frustrations, Daughter of Surya, the dangers of the era a thousand years ago are much different than the ones of the current."
Does he think I am a child? Does he take me for a fool? As someone who will simply take such a bizarre and obvious reason such as that?
"I know that much, Your Holiness. But," I stress, narrowing my eyes as I grip the fabric of the temple dress. Does he truly think I am the sheltered and naive of the two of us? I know how power in the temple is passed. Father did nothing but exert his authority, tarnishing Surya's name under the guise of god's will to grow the temple's influence and riches. He had not lifted a finger, using the people's faith to boost his ego and glory just to rival the palace. It wasn't just Father either, it was everyone in that temple regardless of status. But in those nearly five years, I had witnessed horrors beyond those pristine temple walls; where thatched floors were covered in rotting flesh infested with maggots, the air condensed with putrid throat stinging stenches and the dirt stained with its people's blood. "Are you truly saying that humans are worse than monsters? The beasts that ravaged through villages mindlessly without a thought, be it wealthy or poor, woman and child?"
For just a moment, a split moment, something crossed his face that made me hold my breath. His aimless eyes seemed focused for but an instance, the eyebrows above softening as the corners of his thin and chapped lips lifted ever so slightly in an almost solemn smile. Slowly, he stands up from his chair and faces away from me.
"... as the Saintess is adamant, I suppose I can only allow it. But if you are to venture outside temple grounds, you must take at least one paladin with you."
"..." I ponder over it for a few seconds. All I wanted was to enter the town enough to get a general feel. What—or rather who I am looking for, I already know won't be easy. But if I continue to wiggle my way, and slowly expand my search enough across the kingdom—er, empire, I know I'll find them. Whoever Shivani is, in this era. But at least for now, on the first day, pushing any more might make it difficult for me in the future. It's just for a little bit, I simply have to bear with being watched for a little bit longer.
With a sigh, I concede.
"Fine."
After my response, the Pope walks toward the window behind his desk. On the window sill are what look like various small bells. His hand wavers over them for a moment, before his fingers find a specific one and he rings it. It makes no noise, however. Very faintly though, I could sense it. A quick and thin line of divinity, condensed so much it's almost like a thread in the breeze. But it's not the Pope's divinity. I can tell. In fact, after composing myself, none of the bells have the Pope's divinity but rather they all seem to be different. As quick as it came, the whiff of divinity disappears behind me. Just as the Pope sets the bell down next to the others again, a knock comes from the door.
I turn around abruptly as the Pope turns and beckons the visitor to come in. The door pushes open and a Paladin enters. A weird sense of deja vu consumes me for a moment as the young man looks somewhat familiar.
Ah. One of the paladins from before, when the Pope came to fetch me. It wasn't the blonde one though. Contrary to the blonde's attempt to be friendly, this paladin's expression was as dull as his cool gray hair. There wasn't an ounce of emotion behind those eyes either. Until they wavered over to me. There was a flash of irritation, for just a moment. I arched an eyebrow, puzzled. But almost immediately, his cerulean gaze returns to the Pope's, retaining his firm stance.
"This is Sir Ianglade. He is one of our most skilled paladins, and had grown up in the capital," the Pope explains, introducing him. I nod vaguely, but the paladin remains focused on the Pope. Alrighty then. The older brunette man turns more toward Sir Ianglade. "As you know, this is the Saintess. She requests to venture into the castle town, so you are to escort and guard her."
"Of course, as you command, Your Holiness."
♢♦︎♢
The temple doesn't really own anything but divine garments, so I step out of the carriage doors with the same variation of dress I had been wearing for the past week. The only difference being the dark gray cloak covering said dress. Sir Ianglade holds out his hand without looking at me. I press my lips together, but resign myself as I take hold of it. He guides me down the one step of the carriage block as my soles land with a hop. I withdraw my hand immediately, returning to my side underneath the cloak. He turns and takes a few steps to talk to the coachman, allowing me time to carefully look at my surroundings. The temple takes ample care of leaving discreetly, such as the carriage being plain and without the temple's emblem. To take even greater caution, we were even dropped off in an emptier area closer to residential housing.
My eyes quickly scan how much the capital has changed in the past thousand years. The style of houses have altered slightly for one thing. I can tell many have been rebuilt, though it seems stone and wood remain to be popular. The rooftops are much more colorful than in my memories though, as well as the roads.
Then again, I think absentmindedly. The buildings in the lower district may have remained the same for all I know.
"So," comes the paladin's voice. In my reminiscing, the carriage had already left. "Where does Your Holiness wish to go?"
"... A place where a lot of people gather." There is silence in response as I look away. My main goal isn't a destination. If I want to find Shivani, I need to be around others, or at least, a place where a lot of people congregate. Even something as simple as that would be enough to narrow the area down. The Paladin seems to stare at me quietly for a moment before the same glint of irritation flickers in his eyes. I press my lips thinly as he turns.
"If it's a lot of people Your Holiness wishes to see, the temple would've been a brilliant place to start off with."
There's an off tone in his voice, a bit snappy. I tried to put that strange feeling off, but it seems his words have confirmed it.
This person… doesn't like me very much, does he?
That's fine. I don't plan on getting along with anyone in the temple, never mind those who appear close to the Pope. If anything, this kind of hushed animosity and contempt is what I'm used to in the temple. Though, I do not know what I've done to garner it. Then again, there wasn't a reason why I was treated in such a way in childhood either. What reasons the people in the temple have matters little to me now.
"His Holiness said you've grown up in the capital, did he not?" I ask. He turns his head slightly over his shoulder as our eyes meet. "If so, it means His Holiness has faith in you as a guide. So simply do as you're told."
You can hate or despise me all you want. Just do your job and take me to where I want to go. I clench a fistful of fabric from under the cloak. The faster I find Shivani, the faster I'll rid the temple of my presence anyway. Being there, in those halls and in those rooms, sickens me as well.
Though rocky and a bit awkward, he does eventually lead me into a more populated area. The stone tiles that make up the floor are noticeably more stable due to the amount of times the townsfolk walk upon them in their day-to-day lives. The residential buildings and homes kept nice and clean are replaced little by little with buildings more predominately made with stone bricks. As we make our way out of a back alley, the larger street is bustling with what appears to be more middle class common folk. On the sides of the walkway are varieties of stands hosted by merchants tighter knit with the community, while inside the buildings farther away are likely merchants more accustomed to serving the upper class. If you looked closely in the passing alleys, figures shrouded in shadows emitting a familiar sense of wariness and danger. Yet, even that is somewhat comforting.
It's an almost nostalgic sight for me that breathes into me an air of relief. This kind of environment puts me at ease, much more than the pristine and clean walls of the temple. People's voices begin to meld together and become white noise, and if you focus hard enough, you'd just barely be able to make out conversations. The sound of commoners conversing joyfully, or even the hushed argumental bargaining overlaps one another. A line of children run past with laughter and teasing, nearly tripping over their own rushed steps.
"Maya isn't allowed to be it anymore."
"What? Why?!"
"Isn't it obvious? You can always find us no matter where we go!"
"It's not my fault you guys are shitty hiders!"
"Waah, Maya said a bad grown up word!"
"I'm gonna tell the Mister!"
"Dita, don't you dare!"
It's almost painful. Why did I leave this place, I wonder? We may have been poor, the skin on our small hands and knees scratched dark with dirt and only half of us with something in our stomachs, but we were happy. I was happy.
"I'm selling you off right now."
"..." I suck in a shaky breath, slapping my hands against my cheeks. I'm going to be happy from now on. The moment I find Shivani, we're going to be happy. I just need to find Shivani.
Glancing in front of me, I make sure Sir Ianglade has no intention of looking back to me. It seems he's focusing on dredging through the crowd. If that's so, then now would be the right time. After clearing my mind, I take a slow and deep breath. Clear, and empty. Focus on the coolness within, and let it seep out.
I know finding Shivani would be difficult. Finding any reborn soul in a new body is impossible. Every living thing in this world is made up of divinity. Things like the plants and the elements, animals and beasts, as long as they are made up of living nature they are imbued with divinity. Humans as well have this quality. But the divinity within our souls is separate from the divinity of one's body. Even so, the ability to differentiate divinity from one another is difficult. While Father could wield large amounts of divinity, being able to detect and sense divinity is a different matter. Even for me, it's a bit difficult without a conscious mind.
But…
I softly exhale and inhale again, spreading cool ripples of my divinity throughout the space around me. It feathers, spreading through the silhouettes of the townsfolk nearby smoothly. If it were anyone else, it would be impossible. But because I am the 'Daughter of Surya' and Shivani is the 'Sundrop Knight'—because I am the 'moon' to Shivani's 'sun', it'll definitely be possible for us. Because no matter what body, no matter what form, our blessed divinity is pulled to one another. Just as when we met, though no one wanted to believe you were my 'sun', with one look I still knew.
Like a languid pool of water, my divinity continuously flows without disturbance. After many seconds of holding my breath, I let out a long and shaken sigh. The feeling of cool water gradually dissipates, dissolving in on itself slowly like sea foam upon gentle waves. I already knew nothing would come out of the first day, and yet I couldn't help but still hope regardless.
Even with the strengthened divinity I had accumulated in my slumber, I suppose even that isn't enough to find you...
Glancing up, it seems the paladin has no idea of what I've been doing despite spreading my divinity. One of the most skilled paladins, the Pope said? I suppose my divinity has always been difficult for others to perceive, especially to people unfamiliar with me, but it's still comical how unaffected the temple's divine knights can—
A warmth echoes back. It's small, like a falling stray thread, but that familiar warmth responds. A warmth akin to the sun.
I inhale sharply, abruptly turning around and interrupting the flow of people. At being pushed slightly in different directions, my feet stumble over themselves. My throat is dry, and it feels like my mind is racing as my heart beats loudly in my ears. There's no way. It couldn't be, right? I couldn't tell clearly, I had already cut off the flow of divinity I released. It scattered as it dissolved, so I can't tell at all what direction it came from.
But there's no way I could have mistaken it.
My feet stumble, and there's an arm that suddenly wraps around my front and a hand that grasps my wrist that raises instinctively in defense. A yelp begins to escape my throat, before my mouth is covered by the hand holding my wrist. Before I knew it, I'm dragged into an empty nearby alley, flailing my feet in an attempt to knock one of the assailant's legs. I'm struggling muffled shouts into the gloved palm against my mouth, condensing my divinity through my restrained arm and swirling it until it takes shape between my fingertips. Loosening my jaw, I clench and bite hard into my assailant's palm to find the hesitation that'll allow me to—
There's a hiss of pain and the hold on my body and wrist is loosened.
"Tssk, god, Surya, calm down, please! It's me!"
My divinity infused right arm that's been made free is arched at my assailant's head behind me, but I hesitate. It's a familiar voice.
"Your Highness?" I turn, pushing away from his grip against the opposite wall where I can see him clearly. My eyes narrow as the hood lowers, revealing the golden cascade of hair neatly falling into a long braid that curves and hangs from his shoulder. Few strands of golden locks frame the man's well kept face, green eyes like the lush shadows of a forest. He was like a painting, even in unassuming and plain clothes. Royal genetics are scary. Even the king back then, while old, was considered beautifully in his prime—though I do not remember him that well since I had only met him once. Father was jealous of that, too. From outside of his own dark cloak, he massages the part of his palm I had bitten into. His eyes narrow in a wince flinching as he presses into it.
"Normally, dealing any kind of injury to the crown prince would be a crime, but…" The young man trails off, smiling sheepishly as I glare. He then laughs awkwardly, "... this wound is excusable, seeing that I did deserve it."
Deserving it is an understatement. Had he been anyone else, his head would have been engulfed in water until he drowned.
"What was that, Your Highness? What is Your Highness even doing here?" My blood is still pumping with adrenaline, my fingertips gripping onto my cloak's fabric stiffly.
"I thought I recognized you in the crowd," he reasons.
"And that is enough justification to drag me into an alleyway?"
"Well, no, but you see," The Prince trails off, trying to find his words. He averts his eyes, before suddenly meeting mine. "You looked disheartened. I thought you were being suffocated at being escorted by a paladin on your first outing, especially in a bustling place like the market."
You were seconds away from suffocating yourself.
I pause for a moment. It felt like there was something else in those words, hidden in his softened expression. His eyes looked similar to a puppy left in the rain. It was as if there was a silent, 'like me', at the end of that sentence.
"Your Highness, that still is no reason to drag anyone into an alleyway." He wasn't lying. I was disheartened, though not because of my escort. It was because…
I blink, whipping my head back to the main street of townsfolk and vendors. The sudden encounter made me forget what happened.
"Is something wrong, Your Holiness?"
"... No, it's nothing, Your Highness," I sigh, leaning against the stone wall behind me. By now, the trace most definitely would have moved by now. Even if I focused my divinity again, catching up to them may be a different matter entirely. Opening my eyes, the Prince stares back with a worried expression plain as day plastered onto his face. I attempt to smile back. "Truly, nothing's wrong. Your Highness has no reason to worry."
Come to think of it, something of sorts happened before too, didn't it? Yes, that's right. It was for a very short, fleeting moment, but back at the palace… I had felt that familiar, sun-like warmth then as well, didn't I?
"Your Highness," I breathe, stilling myself. My eyes flicker up to him again, and he seems to flinch in surprise. "Are you aware of any people… who were at the palace that day, and may be venturing near the market now?"
The golden haired royal furrows his eyebrows as he ponders away.
"Well," he begins. "There's a lot of people."
"My ears are open."
"Um," the Prince seems to flush at the sudden attention. He averts his eyes quickly. "I can assume by 'that day', you mean the day you awoke, correct?"
I nod.
"That day was an event, not explicitly hosted by the palace but still somewhat hosted. It was an eclipse," he explains. That was news to me. No one had mentioned that. Then again, I hadn't talked to many people over the course of this week. The Prince continues, "The bridge of that lake is one of the most open places on palace grounds, and thus the land the lake was located at, that is normally restricted, was open for viewing."
"I see…" I murmur. If a restricted area had suddenly become open for an event, there would be a lot of people. "Even to commoners?"
The Prince shakes his head.
"No, at least not the average commoner. It's still palace grounds after all." He begins to hold up his hand, raising fingers one by one. "There are quite a few large groups that attended that day that could be wandering leisurely now."
I watch carefully as he explains.
"First," the Prince begins. "Are the palace employees. While not often, they are offered days off. I do not memorize their schedules myself, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were a few around today. Second, would be palace knights who are in a similar situation."
"Why would there be palace knights out right now…?" I question, meeting his gaze. He averts mine, however with a nervous smile. At his silence, I narrow my eyes. "Your Highness… would you not have escorts of your own accompanying you today?"
"Third," he changes the subject, quickly. With a sigh, he concludes, "would be the various nobles and their close personal attendants."
Those are a lot of people. Moreso most, if not all, are people I would practically never interact with if I continue to spend my days at the temple. That is, if Shivani's reincarnation is among those three groups of people. One thing's for sure, if what I felt both times really was Shivani's divinity, then…
"Are you trying to find someone? If it helps, I could collect a list of the knights and servants who were allowed out today," the Prince offers.
"Thank you, but it's a bit more complicated than that," I smile. Rather than a list of names, it'd be easier if I could just see them all at once. If I did that, I could at the very least confirm that Shivani is among them.
"Oh, if you need to meet them instead," the Prince suddenly speaks. He's looking down and digging underneath the cloak.
"Did I say that out loud?" I wonder. He looks up with a small smile.
"No, it was just written on your face," he grins warmly, reaching a hand from underneath. In his gloved hand is an envelope with a red wax seal of the royal family. "In three days, there is a ball being hosted in one of the palace halls. Most, if not all, of the nobles who attended the eclipse should be attending, as well as the same servants."
My mouth hangs agape for a moment as he hands the stamped invitation towards me.
"That's enough to provide an opportunity to find your 'Unknown', right?"
"I, that's…" My eyes waver between the invitation and the prince. He seems genuine, and there's only an honest clarity in his eyes. This is the perfect, if not the only chance I'll get at least for god knows how long. As I reach my fingers out, I hesitate though. It is perfect, but the only thing left would be…
I can't help but shake my head and let my fingers fall.
"I don't think I can go, though," I reply with a bitter smile. His eyebrows furrow.
"Why not?" I can't help but laugh halfheartedly.
"I've left my escort for too long." Though half of it was his fault, the other lies with me. I had gotten mixed up in the crowd before the Prince took me away. Seeing as the paladin already didn't seem too fond of me, I have no doubts that any outings from now on would be much more strict—that is, if I am ever allowed out again.
There's a strange expression on the prince's face this time. "Why would that matter?"
"Your Highness," I humor slightly. "Perhaps you have the luxury of being able to abandon your escorts at will, but I… do not have that."
"But why?" He asks again. "Your rank is higher than theirs. No one rivals your authority other than the Emperor and Pope themselves, and even then you are of equal standing."
Perhaps that's true. It was true in the past, yet that didn't stop Father and everyone else in the temple from walking over me. Something like that only deterred the other children, but the adults in power quickly realized nothing had changed about me. Even if god themself revealed to all that I was their promised daughter, I was still but a child. A small, powerless child with a title whose weight I could hardly comprehend.
"Even if I did exert my authority as Saintess," I start. It's a foolish, yet equally plausible thought. "Do you really think this temple garment is suitable for a ball?"
I pull aside a flap of the cloak's wings. Divine garments, other than ceremonial clothing bearing embroidered sashes, are much more plain and modest. It makes traveling into the town and outside the capital easier, but for something as grandiose as balls hosted for nobility, it greatly falls flat. I've grown accustomed to these kinds of clothing when in battle so it doesn't bother me, but even I know basic higher etiquette. I was taught so just in case before setting off to my kingdom-saving journey. Even if I didn't, the memory of the ladies in the distance covered in bright colors, ruffles, and jewels when I awoke vividly set an example.
"So as you see, Your Highness," I conclude solemnly with a defeated smile. "No matter how much I want to, the matter has become complicated enough. As I am now, going to this occasion just won't be possible."
The Crown Prince is silent. I wonder what is going on in that head of his. The golden haired man's eyes are so focused, deep in thought. It's somewhat familiar, though I do not know why.
"Is the Saintess one to give up so easily?"
His mouth turns up into a smile. Placing the invitation into my hand, he grasps the wrist of my other and begins to drag me through the opposite side of the alleyway.
"Uh, Your Highness?"
"It's simple, really. If the situation is as complicated as that," he says. There's an almost confident cheeriness in his voice. Perhaps its arrogance, or is it assurance? Maybe it's both. "If the problem all comes down to the fact that if you return you cannot attend at all, you simply just won't return."
We exit the alleyway, and down a separate and less crowded road where in the distance, it seems a trio of knights wait nervously in an anxious manner. It's only then when his words finally dawn upon me.
"Wait, what? Your Highness?!"