"Qingyan..." A voice called out, I turned to see disappointed faces.
They gave me chills when I saw them, I could feel their overwhelming anger, they always sneaked in like snakes do to their prey. Out of habit I had bowed my head in shame, although I had done nothing. Like always.
"YI QINGYAN! ARE YOU CRAZY?! YOU DARE TO THROW YOURSELF OFF A BUILDING!? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! ayy..." my mother began to feel warm, her face rejoiced in perfection and beauty compared to mine, which was tired and full of blisters, sometimes in her eyes it seemed like I was her disappointment and regret.
My dad caught her in time and looked at her sadly, my brother ran into the hospital and was almost going to the receptionist if he hadn't seen our mother almost passed out.
"Ma! Are you okay? Did you take your pills?!" My brother asked worried, my dad nodded. "Yes, I took them, I gave them to him in the morning, but..." he looked at me intently, and he just sighed and took her to a nurse to help him. My brother seemed like a drone flying around, always following behind them.
I always...
"I'm…going to the room…" I felt something tinge my heart ever so slightly, I simply stared at the three people in front of me walking the devastated woman to a nurse for help.
"Hah…it's fine." I mumbled as I rolled my eyes and walked back to my room. My hair was a mess and I had dark bags under my eyes. My body was small, at most I'm 5'3 and thin. My big round glasses were broken from a corner as I just stared at the mirror, looking back at the stranger staring at me. The guy in the mirror seemed…weird.
I lifted my hand from my knees and followed the stranger's face, it was imperfect. It was tired and stressed. I traced my fingers across the small table mirror, the stranger had shaggy hair and small slanted eyes with thin dough-like lips. He was ugly.
I sighed and walked back to my bed and laid there for a few minutes until my head hurt and I fell asleep. What if I got to meet her again? Would she cry for me? I want to see her…cry again. Wait- I sound like a sadist. Oh god…I thought while laying on the bed calmly, I wiggled under the bedsheets frantically and finally settled down.
I shuffled on the bed, my shaggy hair poked at my eyes as I opened them after my small panic attack on that thought. My bed was second to the window as there was another girl next to my own bed in a coma. I think it's her friend, but another girl usually comes at this hour to visit her, mostly with some fresh new flowers and some water for them.
I started to hear footsteps and the door slammed open as I heard small gasps and a sigh of relief. "Imogen…I'm glad they didn't unplug you." She mumbled as she reached down to her forehead and kissed it. I was startled at the sudden twist to this relationship of theirs. The girl had long brown hair, you could tell she hadn't showered for days with the amount of dandruff falling from the tips of her hair. There were really dark bags under her eyes and her cheekbones were almost visible and highlighted.
"Imogen…Please wake up, it feels like we haven't talked in years…please…" she pleaded, her voice was now weak and fragile. She stood straight up again and sighed, I was startled and closed my eyes quickly so she wouldn't notice I was staring.
"Hm?" I could hear footsteps approaching me and stop right in front of me, the shadow looming over me. She chuckled a bit which made me get chills, "I hope you get better too," She managed to let out, there was a bit of hesitation in her voice, I could feel it. But somehow, when she said it made my heart skip a beat.
Have I heard this voice before? Who is she? I pondered and before I knew it the girl was already gone and I opened my eyes again.
"Imo…gen?" I read out loud as I saw her name written out in squiggly cursive handwriting, I was horrified but remembered my own wasn't any better. I glance at the window for a while and watch as the sun sets beautifully until the door is slammed open again.
Oh my god, who the f- I turned to see it was my father and brother, their expressions were dark and eerie. I raised an eyebrow but managed to smile somehow, "Pa, Yuli…Is mom feeling better?" I asked, I started to sweat without realizing it and somehow maintained my posture.
It was silent for a while, they started to pack my things and fold the bedsheets after 5 literal days of being here. They hadn't come to see me once during the whole week. Why are they doing this now? Ah. Is it because of the bills? I smiled and connivingly helped them out, "Dad, are you guys-"
"Quiet Qingyan.." My dad finally said after the long tension, his voice was full of rage and he didn't even look at me once. I felt like there was a great distance between us again. "Pa, I was just asking if she's oka-"
"Qingyan, Ma and Pa have been through a lot because of you." Yuli spoke up as he glared menacingly at me, the distance grew as they spoke. This was no conversation, it was a one-sided slaughter. I bit my lip a bit and made a worried expression, "Pa, I didn't mean to..!"
"Yuli, take this to your mother's room, she'll need the extra clothes and food," Dad handed yuli the bag and smiled warmly, my heart sank again. I don't know why. "As for you, Qingyan, go back to my house. Start writing an apology letter to the Principal and your teacher. I can't believe you were such a brute in doing that, what's everyone gonna think once they know?! Don't even get me started! Get out!" He shouted as the other patients in the room stared at me. I felt a lump in my throat, again, why is this happening?
I nodded as I started to head out and walked towards the reception desk, "Hm? Qingyan? Why are you here? You should be in your room right now, for a patient you shouldn't be-" I turned to look at the doctor that helped me earlier and he just stared.
He took my arm and dragged me back to my room, where my dad was still at. He started to remove the white sheet from the plastic that had all my information. The doctor stood there staring at my dad as he finally turned around to look at him.
"Qingyan? What are you still doing here? Haha…Sorry doctor, this child must've gotten lost. I apologize on his behalf." He bowed his head slightly, I could feel his glaring from a mile away.
"No sir, I told him to stay here. He cannot leave until I, his doctor, discharge him." He beamed looking through the clipboard he hand in his other hand. "Your son is very smart and mature for his age, how we all would like one like him."
"Ahahaha, yes, he is indeed. But when will you be discharging him then..?" He asked worriedly, the doctor looked at him and smiled, "he won't be leaving this hospital for 2 months." He clicked his ballpoint pen and handed it to my dad as if asking for a signature.
"Ah...Doctor, he's not that unwell to stay here for 2 months unlike his mother. Could you please just let him go?" he let out, the doctor lifted his glasses slightly and sighed, "Mr. Yi, Your son is a very special case he is-" Before he finished I nudged him with my shoulder and kept staring at the floor.
The doctor glanced at me and shot a smile at my dad, "He has a problem with one of his organs, of course, you will not be charged for his hospitilization as he is a special case and we want to do research on him."
"Ah, Alright Alright, if that's the case then Yi Qingyan! Put your stuff back, I hope this child won't bother you too much, Doctor...?" My dad smiled nervously.
"Oh, you can call me Mr. Yu." He beamed back, there was a type of laid back aura around the doctor that somehow made me feel at ease.
"Alright, Alright! We'll be heading out then! Thank you very much for taking care of this troublesome child!" My dad hit my back repeatedly and turned to me, "Yi Qingyan, Do whatever the doctor says, don't cause trouble and no matter how much pain you go through help the doctor, okay? Be a good boy." He chuckled along with the doctor as he left the room.
"Qingyan,"
"Yes Mr. Yu?" I plopped myself down on the bed as I began to take off my shoes, there was some silence in between us, but there was no tension, it wasn't awkward or weird. It was quiet in a gentle manner, like there was no need to fill the space and silence with words, I finished putting my shoes on and looked up.
"Hm?"
"Qingyan, Would it kill you to tell your dad to know about your ability?" he asked a rather rhetorical question, I let out a sigh and kept moving around as I placed my stuff where it once was. "Qingyan, I'm talking to you." He asked as he sat down next to me on the bed and leaned in to look at me.
"I don't want my dad to worry about me." I replied silently, I flipped through my sketchbook as I spoke and smiled bitterly. I drew a butterfly surrounded by roses a few days ago, and there were drawings of animals in a beautiful forest prancing around.
Is it so wrong to wish for something that's supposed to be mine..? I clenched it tightly, I let out a sigh as I placed it inside my drawer and glanced at the girl that was sleeping on the bed next to me. The doctor simply stared and let out a long sigh, he got up and he tousled my hair playfully.
"Kay, well, I'll come and check up on you later kiddo, the nurse will be back in 2 hours," I nodded and slid my blue slippers back on. I huffed as I ran to the doors at the entrance, the nurses just stared and some even tried to stop me, but it hurt.
it hurts. It hurts. Please, let me be! I bit my lip as I kept running and reached the outside, it was dark and I hadn't realized it was night from the inside. I fell on my knees and scratched the concrete, I had to keep it in.
I have to keep it in, I have to keep it in. I'll wait till I'm 18 and then I can get out of here, just a year more and everything will be over. I smirked as I felt the sweat drip off my face and reach the concrete. No matter how much chaos was in my heart and mind, I must survive.