I left the company in a daze under the sympathetic looks of my colleagues. After over two months working together, they more or less understood my situation and also knew how big a blow losing this job was to me, but besides me, no one could feel my despair.
Even though I left the company right on time, there weren't too many people in the elevator. In this building, working overtime was normal, not working overtime was strange.
Stepping out of the building that I had worked in for nearly two months while the sun had not yet set, I could no longer control my emotions. Standing in front of everyone, I tried to be resilient, but I didn't want to lie to myself anymore. I was really not as resilient as I pretended to be.
The sunlight was so blinding, I stumbled and ran to find a hidden corner so I wouldn't have to face the sun. I really didn't want to go back, I also didn't know how to face my mother.
Around such a large building, there were no hidden corners where I could temporarily hide from the truth of life. I walked absentmindedly, tears falling uncontrollably. The wind kept blowing, at first it only gently blew my hair, but the wind became stronger and stronger, the strong wind accompanied by cold air made my whole body tremble.
Until I really couldn't control my emotions anymore, I sat down on the side of the road.
"Why do you treat me like that?" I couldn't control my emotions and cried out loud.
Who was the person standing in the darkness silently destroying my hope? If Alex lost his memory, it couldn't have been him, but if it wasn't him, it couldn't have been anyone else.
Actually, there were quite a lot of people who hated me, but none of those people had the ability to make me unable to find a job in recent buildings.
It's possible that Alex just pretended not to recognize me. He still hated me and wanted me to pay the price because I hurted him in the past.
If I had to pay the price because I betrayed our love, then I had to accept it, but since before I met Alex, since I had never done anything wrong, my life was extremely bad. So in the end, I had to live twenty years of hardship because of what?
Would fate be too cruel to me?
The wind blew stronger and stronger, it seemed like it was about to rain, I still sat still and didn't move. Rain was good. When it rained, no one would notice that I'm crying.
Thinking about this, I couldn't help but laugh at myself. Besides my mother, no one would notice whether I was crying or not.
When I was at my most miserable, a voice rang in my ears.
"Why are you sitting here?"
I suddenly raised my head. Why was he? Why did he always appear when I was at my worst? However, if he were really the one who caused me to lose my job, it would be normal for him to appear here.
"Why am I sitting here?" I shouted angrily. "Aren't you the one who understands best why I'm sitting here? Now I'm so pathetic, exactly what you wanted, are you satisfied?" I shouted at him.
He looked at me in surprise, but I was in a very confused mood and didn't have the energy to care why he was surprised.
I pointed straight at his face and shouted loudly. "You saw what you wanted to see, now you can go away."
"What's wrong with you?" He looked straight at me, his eyes like an innocent person.
I glanced at him, he really didn't look like he was pretending but I still probed. "You don't need to pretend in front of me, someone like me doesn't deserve you to do that."
Although selective amnesia did exist, I didn't believe it would happen to Alex. Moreover, the fact that I dumped him was not so big that he subconsciously chose to forget me.
"Pretend?" Alex raised his voice. "What am I pretending to be? It seems like you and I had some misunderstanding with each other. We really didn't know each other before?"
Although Alex still behaved very politely, I could see his discomfort. I didn't know if I was dizzy or not, but the corners of his eyes seemed a little red.
A light wind blew and I smelled alcohol.
"Did you just drink?"
Alex used to love drinking. There were times when he would get so drunk that he would sleep all day and I was really angry. After Alex regained consciousness, he would admit his mistake and comfort me. We had been apart for so many years, he had changed a lot.
Once my Alex drinked alcohol, he would drink a lot. His whole body smells of alcohol. Meanwhile, the Alex in front of me seemed to know how to control himself. The smell of alcohol on him was very light. If I didn't smell carefully, I wouldn't notice it.
At my question, Alex sighed. "I'm in a bad mood today so I drank some wine."
"Why are you in a bad mood?" I blurted out a question.
We no longer had any relationship, I shouldn't be curious about his life but I couldn't control myself. In front of Alex, I had never been able to control myself. Just seeing him and hearing him say that he's in a bad mood made me want to comfort him and completely forget that my mood was even worse.
"You want to know?" Alex didn't answer me but asked again.
I shook my head.
Alex frowned and then laughed out loud.
"Your mood doesn't seem much better than mine. Can you have a drink with me?" He said softly.
I widened my eyes and looked at him in surprise.
Could we still sit in the same place? Since breaking up with Alex, I was determined to forget him completely. I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, but I couldn't resist his appeal.
My heart suddenly skipped a beat. It had been many years since I heard my heart beating that fast. For a moment I forgot that I had just had an extremely bad day and the person who made my life so bad could be the man standing in front of me right now.
Why did he invite me to drink wine? I vaguely asked myself. There were countless answers in my head, but most of them were not good.
My rational mind told me not to go, frantically warning me of the bad outcomes I could face, but I couldn't stop myself.
Faced with Alex's temptation, even if it was a sea of fire, I couldn't stop myself from jumping in.