Everything has a before, a singular action that sets it in motion. Before the world, there was the Big Bang; before humans, there were the dinosaurs. The calm before the storm, the wind that sets off a hurricane, and the single flutter of a butterfly's wings that sets everything else in motion and tilts the world against its axis

For Carmen before him, there was chaos. A euphoria of pain and uncertainty unfolded against her skin as her body was jolted awake from the waking sleep she found herself in. The Before then, she had assumed that life was perfect. She was happy, and nothing could go wrong. Oh, how wrong she was. The world would hand her life on a platter and then drown her in it.

Like all epic love stories, theirs started with a funeral. She didn't know it then, but that day, as she wore a lace black dress and stood at the foot of his grave, she had lost one love and broken her ties with one soul, but the universe had entangled her heartstrings with the soul of someone.

She had always hated the rain. It had rained the day he came to pick her up from the party, and it had rained at the funeral. It was as though the universe was mocking her. She would usually shield herself from the rain, and she watched as everyone else ran to their cars for shelter. But she didn't move. She stayed frozen in her spot as the droplets beat her skin. She did not move until she felt her mother's trembling hand pull her away.

She hates Chris for leaving, and she told herself that she would never move on. Yet, Chris brought Carmen—the man who was in a sense her salvation and unknowingly her damnation—all at once.

*************

After the funeral, nothing was the same at home again. She smiled and thanked people for coming. She pretended to listen to people's advice on how to grieve, but she was barely there. Likewise, she was like a ghost, barely present in her own skin.

Her parents tried to keep up a front for everyone. They were always very good at playing pretend, but Carmen saw right through it. Her dad threw himself into work, as he thought of it as the best way to grieve his only son. And when he wasn't working, he was drowning himself in alcohol.

The dad that she once knew was no longer there. What was left behind was only a shell of his former self. Her mother had never been good at showing her emotions, and when Chris died, she became even colder. She locked herself in her room and only came out to eat. Carmen's aunt, Lucille, had to force her back to work.

And then there was Carmen. Stuck in the middle of it all. No one remembered her pain. She had lost her brother too, but she was almost certain that her parents blamed her for the accident. They just didn't say it out loud.

She was forced to grow up too fast. Her parents had a million-dollar company to run and had little to no time to worry about their introverted daughter. Chris was always a people person. He was the life of all parties, and it allowed Carmen to blend into the background.

But now she was the one in the spotlight, and she didn't know how to handle all the attention. She wasn't used to the kind of pressure that they tried to put on her. They seemed to forget that she was only fourteen.

A year after Chris died, they began to hint at the possibility of passing down the company to Carmen and grooming her for the role. She tried to avoid the conversation as much as possible, but it was inevitable.

Carmen was always closed off at school. She did well in her studies, but she lacked motivation almost all the time.

**********

The day started off like any other. She had another dream of rain, and she slowly sat up on her bed as she tried to shake off the memories from her mind. After swiftly taking the duvet off her body and ignoring the large scar on her calf, she made her way towards her bathroom and began getting ready for the day.

She changed into a simple t-shirt and a pair of jeans before pulling her hair into a messy bun. She grabbed her backpack and made her way down the door. As she passed her parents' bedroom, she heard loud whispers that soon turned into shouts but ignored them as she made her way downstairs.

They were always fighting, and it was never anything new. She came down to find Maria at the stove. She grinned at her brightly as she hugged her tightly before placing a kiss on her forehead. "Morning Maria."

Maria turned away from the stove, where she was frying some eggs. "Morning Darling" Maria answered with a smile. She placed the eggs on a plate with some toast and grabbed a cup of tea before handing it over to Carmen. She smiled before thanking her.

"How long have they been fighting?" Carmen asked. Maria looked at her pleadingly. "You know I can't tell you that." She scowled. "Come on. It's almost every day now." Carmen muttered under her breath. "Since I got here." Maria said. Carmen sighed as she quickly finished her breakfast.

"Goodbye." Carmen called out to Maria, who waved her off before heading to the car. "Good morning, Simon." She said, and he tipped his hat towards her. "Morning Miss." Simon replied to her. She rolled her eyes at the older man in his 60s before turning her attention toward the window.

She dreaded going to school, but at least soon enough it would be over. She was in her final year anyway, and she was already eighteen. Soon enough, they came to a stop in front of the building.

She walked through and loved how well she blended into the background. She was at her locker, picking out her books, when her best friend Rebecca made an appearance.

"What puts you in a cheery mood?" Carmen asked. "Well, it's the last day before winter break, and it's career day." Rebecca said, and she groaned. "You are going to have to tell them you aren't majoring in business but fine art." Rebecca said.

"I don't think I am strong enough for that," Carmen muttered. They came to a stand at the career exhibit. Her eyes drifted between the two stands as she contemplated. "Just choose what you think is right." Rebecca told her firmly.

As she moved forward, Carmen gulped.

*************

After a long day, Carmen made her way home. She was exhausted and glad that school was out for a month. She made her way to her room and collapsed on her bed easily.

Carmen was pulled out of her sleep when she heard a knock on her door. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion before going to pull the door open. She found Maria there. "Your parents want you down for dinner," Maria said. Carmen looked at her in confusion. 'They were never around for dinner,' she thought to herself.

"Why?" Carmen asked. "I don't know, but they seem oddly happy." Maria said, sounding irked.

Carmen sighed before making her way down the stairs. She found her parents talking to each other, and they turned to her with a smile when she entered the room. Slowly, she made her way to her seat and sat down.

They began to eat in silence, and she felt their eyes on her occasionally. "Okay, what is going on? You guys are never home for dinner," she said, and her dad turned to her. "We know we haven't been around much... Since the accident. We were stuck in our own grief, but that is going to change. We got you a present," he said, and Carmen raised an eyebrow as he handed her an envelope.

She opened it slowly and widened her eyes at the contents. "We got you an internship at Maxwell Corp. for the summer." He told her as they both smiled brightly. But her heart plummeted to her stomach. She remembered the fine art school brochure that sat on her bed.

Carmen gulped as she struggled to find the words to say. "So that is why you made this?" She said, "I don't know what you mean." Her mom said this to her, looking at her in confusion.

"You never stay here. You are barely present in my life, and now all of a sudden you want to be proactive." Carmen said it bitterly. "That is not it. We have just been going through a lot." Her dad said it defensively.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. But it seems you care about how everyone else feels, except me." Carmen let out a pained expression on her face. "Well, that's not what it is at all." Her mother shot back.

Carmen felt anger surge through her body as she banged her fork loudly against her plate. "Then what is it?" She hissed. "Enough!" Her father roared, causing her to recoil within herself. He was always the voice of reason in the family. His word was law, and although he did not get angry often when he did, he exploded.

"You are going to go for that internship, and then you are heading to college in the fall to study business." He said to her firmly, with a straight look on his face, as he raised his brow at her, daring her to question him or say a word to go against him.

Carmen slowly stood up from her seat. She has been sitting quietly, taking everything on instead, for too long. She was done being a good girl. It was time for her to stand up for herself on her own two feet and let her voice be heard.

"I don't want to study business." She whispered under her breath. Her parents are still "What did you say?" They asked, daring her to continue. "I don't want to study business; I want to study art." She said to them:

Her mother audibly gasped at her blatant words as she clutched the round pearls that rested on her neck. "You can't be serious. What good will fine art do for you? Will it put food on the table?" Her mother shouted.

"It will, and most importantly, it will make me happy." She fired back at her. "We need you to take over the family company. It was fine when it was Christopher. But you owe us this. It is the only way to continue our legacy." She said.

And Carmen felt bile rise at her words. "And why is that? Because I killed him, right? Because I need to fix this family that my mistakes have caused." She said, Her mother didn't answer, turning her face away, but that was enough.

"You will forget about this silly fantasy of yours and face reality. We will not let you disgrace us any further." Her father said it firmly. "Do I even matter to you?" she asked, whispering under her breath.

She ran out of the room and didn't dare wait long enough for them to answer. She already knew what they would say. It was the same thing that they always said. Christopher was their pride and joy, and now he was gone. They would never forgive her for that.

Carmen stayed in her room for the whole day, and no one came to look for her. They never did. They had most likely assumed she wasn't even in the house. It was so large that she could go weeks without crossing paths with them. She was brought out of her thoughts when she heard loud laughter coming from downstairs.

She smiled softly at the sound, recognizing it as her aunt Lucille. She was relieved when she heard a knock on the door, but she didn't have it in her to move. "I know you are in there! And I will knock down this door!" She said it to her threateningly. Carmen groaned into her pillow, not moving from her spot.

"Hey, kiddo!" She said as she slowly made her way into the room using the spare key Carmen gave her. She looked at the mess of clothes in the room. She went over to the window and pulled it open. She went over to Carmen and pulled the blanket away from her face.

Carmen sighed as she slowly sat up on the bed. "Hey, Aunt Lucille," Carmen said with a groan. "Don't take that tone with me." Lucille gave her a warning. She only rolled her eyes in response.

Her aunt had always been there for her and was the closest family member that she had. She had been there for her through everything, and she was a shoulder for her to cry on. "So, how are you doing?" She asked. Lucille placed a fake smile, saying, "Great."

"Your mother told me you want to study art." Lucille said as she looked at her sympathetically. "Yup," Carmen said. "And how did that go?" Lucille asked. Carmen sighed before answering her, "She said it was a waste of time, and it was my duty to uphold our family legacy. And a few more hurtful words." Lucille looked at her apologetically.

"You know how closely and dearly they hold that company. They treat it like their daughter." Lucille said. "Well, I am their actual daughter, and they don't care how I feel or what I think." She said it bitterly.

"They are just too lost in their own grief to see how amazing, intelligent, and beautiful you are. You are a great artist, and I think that you should be allowed to do whatever you want. You will open your own gallery and help your dear aunt." Lucille assured her. Her aunt Lucille was middle-class, and that was why her mother looked down on her because she married rich, but Carmen didn't care.

"Thank you, Lucille. That means a lot." Carmen said it sincerely. "Don't mention it." They sat in comfortable silence before Lucille became giddy, which she did when she was hiding something. "What brought you here again?" Carmen asked her.

"Oh, I almost forgot! We are going on vacation!" Lucille yelled out with glee.