Mom explains the full history behind the drinking, the neglect and the divorce. She explains how my Father would take trips to hunt down leads to bring back my kidnapped sister. She gets into detail how as time wound on and Dad found less and less information about my sister, sounds fucking weird to me, Gwen my older sister. As things wound on she Mom was more and more into the bottle and less into the parenting and my memory takes over from there. My father, it sticks in my head that he's actually fucking here, explains how he was working in the military. I thought he left but she rejoined I guess, he gets into how he never stopped looking for Gwen and finally found her. I listen so that I know my enemy and his history, that way I don't leave anything out when it comes time to respond.
Would you stop feeding him rage?
I haven't been doing anything; I want him out of this situation. Why don't you try making him cry and run or something?
I can't, it doesn't work like that and you know it.
Well mine doesn't work like that either so don't blame me.
"That was a great story, really riveting stuff. I'm going now," I tell all three and stand up to leave.
"Guy, please just stop for a minute," Mom places her hand on my arm and I'm ready to scream," Neal never did anything to hurt you, he didn't do anything wrong it was me."
"Your mother isn't the only one at fault here. I know that you feel hurt," Dad wants to talk, I don't want to listen.
"Hurt, hurt… I feel hurt. I was hurt when my father promised me that he'd take care of me no matter what and then wandered off into the horizon for nine years. I was hurt when I took care of my mother during her worst years all by myself. I was hurt when I found out that you were nowhere to be found and were never coming back. I was hurt when twice people decided that for no reason other than their own enjoyment I was going to be beaten or tortured or stabbed and left for dead or humiliated," I am in control but barely," You want to know what I feel now? HATE!"
"Listen baby brother, I know it's been hard," Gwen, my 'sister' wants to speak up.
"Shut your mouth, you were sought after. You were wanted for years by both of them, I was an afterthought," I get the words out and Mom is beginning to cry," Stop that. This isn't about you."
"Guy I… we… you were never an afterthought," Dad says trying to appeal to my better nature, it doesn't exist.
"Alright, you knew where I lived right," I ask and he nods," How long did you know where I lived? A couple months? A year maybe?"
"I've known for a few years," he is solemn, good.
"Okay and how long did you wait to go get Gwen when you found out where she was," I ask and now he's ashamed.
"It took me a week to travel to where she was and get her," he tells me in a cool and even tone.
"So let's recap, Gwen is taken and as soon as you knew where she was you just flew like the wind and got her. Now same thought you had my information for three to four years," that is the definition of a few," and you didn't even bother till people were using me as their personal torture boy?"
As much as we need him to leave, and leave like five minutes ago, I'm kind of with him on this.
"Guy I was kidnapped and lied to for years before Daddy came and found me," Gwen wants to add her two bits, this should waste two minutes," You had Momma and you have a home. I was living with our Aunt for years and she was trying to brainwash me that she was my Momma. Daddy let you down; he has been hurting for years because he is sad about not being there for you when you needed him. We're here now…"
"And I don't need you," I tell both of them and I see that it hurts, good.
"Guy, you're my son," he should stop saying that but he doesn't know how.
"When have I been your son in the last nine years? When have I been hurting, afraid, alone and scared and you were there to be a father," I say it and turn to Gwen," As for you don't sit there and tell me he's been hurting because I'm the winner of the fucking hurt person award for this fucked up little family reunion we have going on here."
"Guy nobody is dismissing anyone being hurt but you need to understand," he starts in and I'm unmoved.
"I don't need to understand, I have understood for you not being there for years. I remember when I would lay awake at night and wait for you to just come in the door to my room, scoop me up and steal me away. I prayed for that for almost five years. Then I studied the law a little and learned when I would be able to leave living with Mom and move to live with you I put money down and sent everything to the courts so that I could make it happen," I explain and Mom's a little hurt by this reminder but I am not done with this knife twisting yet," So after six months I get a notice that you couldn't be found or might just be dead."
"Son I wasn't dead," he replies and I snort.
"Could have fooled me, I went looking for you but you were like Bigfoot. So I made a new plan that relied on the person I could trust the most, ME," I state and turn to Mom," I'm not doing this to hurt you but I will not be told that because other people suffered it's alright to let them have their sins forgiven."
"Guy, stop for a minute and take a deep breath," Mom says trying to calm me.
"No, I'm not listening to more shit about how sorry everyone is. Too little too late, so do me a favor Dad and Gwen. Leave," I say it and both have a hurt and shocked look on their faces," Don't write, don't call, don't stop by to visit because you never existed and you died as far as I'm concerned. I don't need you in my life and I don't want either of you dragging me down so that you can feel better about abandoning me."
And as I turn and walk out, no more words just me upstairs to my room and grabbing my keys and shoes head down to the garage to my car. I get the garage door up and fire up the engine as Mom makes her way into the garage to stop me. I don't think she planned this nightmare but I'm not staying around to give it any more influence on my day as I back out and whip the car around in the driveway before peeling off down the road. Where I'm going, I don't know.
Neal: Right now
"I knew we should have stayed home," I remarked and Lori was quick to take my hand.
"Neal you wanted to come here and mend a family I ruined. There have been a lot of things that Guy still is processing but his doctor says him being in touch with his emotions is a good thing," Lori explains as Gwen doubts her Mother.
"How in a horse's ass is my baby brother cutting out Daddy's heart and taking us to the woodshed a good thing Momma, that sounds like some stupid city shit," and there is my daughter's temper.
Lori explains Guy's problems to our daughter taking time so that I can listen in and process everything. He felt isolated in a home he thought he would be welcome in, Lori was a mother of four and was making up time with her new step children and regrets Guy's alienation. I am a bit mad at her for that. I know the basics about my son being a punching bag for half his school but he has no friends? He was always a nice kid but years of embarrassment because of Loretta's drinking and everything screwed him up.
"Gwen at least you get to see your mother, we can look at the positive in that. Hell I could have brought us together years ago but I just couldn't," I can't continue, it hurts too much.
"Daddy it's okay, we have a good life now and we're just adding to it," my girl hugs me and I hold as much in as I can.
We hear knocking and I get to meet the man of the house himself as Lori's husband enters the room. Introductions are made and I let Gwen and her mother talk alone while I step outside and wait for one of them to come get me. I'm not alone for long as the man of the house joins me on his back porch.
"I can only guess that either Guy wasn't home or it didn't go well in there," he asks and I nod," can't say I've been a good father figure to him these past few years either."
"How bad," I ask as we walk.
"Well my youngest of the twins was cruel and turned her siblings, well one of them, against him. Then she somehow intimidated him into not telling anyone that he was part of our family and the whole time I didn't see it," he explains and I think for a moment.
"She is your daughter, they do cause a big blind spot in the brain," I tell him and he agrees.
"Very much so, the worst part is I just thought Guy was quiet and needed to come out of his shell. Then I find out he's being beaten up almost weekly and he's been stabbed and now after this last attack I'm worried that I made a mistake agreeing with my wife about taking him out of the hospital," he gets it all out and I'm at a question.
"Well if he didn't need to be there then you should take him out, it's not like they stabbed him again right," I ask and he shakes his head.