Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 37🎸)
My main problem here was that I had barely worked with the Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemum. For me, it was a mystery. Which meant that I needed to thoroughly test it! Muahahaha!
I picked up one of the ingredients with my spiritual energy. It had beautiful and long petals, a thin stem, and a few razor-sharp leaves.
Before I started to really get into it, I definitely needed to dissect it first, just to see how it reacted. Then I would look at each individual piece and even turn them into liquid before using a type of alchemy hand seal that used centrifugal force to separate it into different parts. I could then figure out which were necessary to the bath, allowing for fewer impurities.
I could even melt it down or light it on fire. Perhaps dissolving it in various acids would give useful insights. There were just so many beautiful and fun tests I needed to perform!
"Ah, Alchemist Linlin... is it just me or is that chrysanthemum trembling in fear?"
I scowled at his interruption.
"What?! That's nonsense. I was just shaking it a little in my excitement... probably."
"You were very focused. Did you figure something out?" Noxious Fangstrike jumped out of the bath and used a technique to gather all the liquid on his body and in the cauldron before making it vanish.
Inky slithered up to him and wrapped its tail around his leg.
Interesting. After the bath, the snake appeared to dislike me less. It made me wonder if the bath somehow went both ways, only on a spiritual level for the beast.
The human needed the bath to share the special physical traits, but since the beasts only needed the energy addition and were already good physically, they just needed to provide their blood willingly. It was a truly fascinating contract.
But this wasn't the time to risk myself to study Noxious Fangstrike's beast.
"I need to do some experiments on the Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemum. Give me five of them. Ones you don't mind me completely destroying."
He grimaced and patted Inky on its head. "Those are precious resources. While I agreed to provide what you need, knowing they're not going towards the cure is..."
"If you want a bath that has the least amount of side effects possible, then you need to give me eight... no, ten of those flowers."
There were just too many experiments I needed to perform.
Unfortunately, he was hesitating.
"The thing is, I had to make a lot of concessions with the horticulturists to get you those seedlings."
"What? Are they limiting the amount of plants you can use now? One of the most important poison masters in the sect? Do they dare?"
"Those are enough resources for five disciples."
I waved his concerns away. "It's better that they wait for us to fix it, anyway."
He sighed. "Fine, I'll get you ten flowers."
"How about fifteen?"
He narrowed his eyes at me.
"Whatever! I'll just do what I can with limited resources."
***After hours of studying the Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemum — and by that I meant testing the shit out of them — I discovered that there was something definitely wrong with them.
Which became obvious once I lit one on fire.
Noxious was already nervous after one of the first few tests I did caused a tiny, minuscule explosion. One that would have only singed my eyebrows if I hadn't totally expected it to happen and put up a shield. But when I started playing with flames... I mean testing the plant to see how direct heat affected it, he shouted at me! Then he grabbed it from my hand and smothered it on the worktable. Rude!
Okay, it had burned better than I expected, and in the few moments I'd lit it, the flames reached its stem. But that was no reason to get this freaked out! And the long lecture Noxious gave me on not burning herbs was completely unnecessary!
I had not been playing around! I was doing science. I'd even recorded my hypothesis of each test and the observations of the result in my jade slip.
And what did he even know? Pushing the limits of ingredients was how I discovered new ways to use them!
For example, this plant had a pleasant scent. Once I figured out the properties of the smoke, I wanted to see how it would do in a medicinal incense.
Anyway, what confused me for a moment was that the fire turned purple. It also had red sparks of energy in the shape of water droplets... or blood. Yeah, it was definitely blood-like. It seemed to me that the plant should have just melted into charred spiritual energy goo — which was something similar to what happened in cauldrons when concocting.
The fact that it stayed in flower form so well meant that it had something in it that resisted turning into goo... Or they weren't using the right type of fertilizer and the soil these flowers were raised in included a preservative of some kind.
But that would mean that they'd been using the wrong type of fertilizer for these plants for centuries. That could only happen if the horticulturist disciples were corrupted... or stupid.
Stupidity was always a possibility.
It was better than thinking that there were malicious seniors in that department working to slowly take down the sect. Because there were easier and faster ways to do that.
"Senior Noxious Fangstrike!"
"What?"
I sent him a grim look. "I need to see where these flowers are cultivated."
"Oh no. What's wrong?"
"I'm afraid this sect... has an infestation of idiots."
The look he gave me was very confusing because it seemed like he was exasperated when this was an absolutely serious problem.
***Even though I was surrounded by angry gardeners... er, horticulturists, I completely ignored them. Mostly because I didn't trust their intelligence.
The Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemum grew in adorable round bushes. Though cute, they gave off an oppressive energy that really made them live up to their names. They had been planted in tight rows, leaving just enough room between each bush so that they wouldn't be starved for spiritual energy.
I bent down.
The gardeners held their breath as if getting ready to yell at me to stop.
I picked up a handful of the dirt that surrounded the base of one of the bushes.
One gardener held another back.
I rubbed it between my fingers and frowned. Unfortunately, there were bits of white pebbles stuck in between my fingernails. Immediately, I used my cleaning technique only on my hands.
Noxious leaned toward me. "What's wrong, junior Linlin?"
"Whoever came up with this soil mixture needs to be fired."
His brow furrowed. "What?"
Yeah, that was too simple.
I clasped my hands behind my back so I looked as serious as I could. "For the damage they've done to the generations of disciples of this sect, the person who decided to use this fertilizer for these flowers should be executed."
A bald gardener with a white mustache and beard huffed. "Listen here, Little Alchemist Linlin, we've been using that same mix for over a thousand years."
"What's in it?"
"That's a sect secret."
I sighed and started listing off the various natural components used to create the fertilizer for these plants.
The man looked panicked and glanced at the poison master. "Aren't you going to stop her?"
He crossed his arms. "No, I'm curious about where she's taking this."
The old man's cheeks turned bright red as I finished listing off the final three ingredients that made up this fertilizer. "... and finally, we have Eight Tears Pufferfish Bones."
"Impossible! You must have seen the composition somewhere!"
I rolled my eyes. It wasn't hard. This was similar to the fertilizer we used at the Indomitable Will sect. Not that I would tell these guys that.
The difference here was that this blend included the bones of a certain spiritual pufferfish. While nutritious and used in some fertilizers for rare plants, these bones had a preservative compound that was harmful to chrysanthemum-type spiritual plants. Basically, it caused this fucking mess.
"The Eight Tears Pufferfish Bones has a preservative harmful to Chrysanthemums. It needs to be removed from your fertilizers for this flower to grow properly. For now, gather most of your leftover seeds, grow them into seedlings, and replant them into a field that doesn't have remnants of this fish."
The fact that they went out of their way to collect so many of those bones every year for the past thousand years just to use them on a plant that didn't need them... What a fucking tragedy. Shit like this always happened when an older generation passed away without leaving proper notes or inheritance.
The gardeners stared at me with devastated expressions.
"No! I don't believe it!" The old man fell to his knees and shoved his hands into the soil. "I can't! If I do then that means… that means…"
He coughed up several mouthfuls of blood.
"Senior!" The little gardeners gathered around their elder and a few helped him inside while the second oldest stayed behind.
With this, I'd solved the Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemum issue as best as I could.
I made my way back down the mountain toward Noxious Fangstrike's alchemy room. Considering that they needed to regrow the flowers from fucking scratch, my hopes for a quick solution to Little Spring's problem were swiftly dying. Creating a full cure for Little Spring would definitely take me more than two weeks.
After Noxious Fangstrike told the remaining horticulturist to follow my instructions exactly, he followed after me. He had this blank look on his face as if he couldn't quite believe what had just happened. His expression scrunched into a pained grimace.
"So, this whole time, we've been mildly poisoning the plant that was the backbone of our sect?"
"I did say that your sect is infected with stupid."
He stopped for a moment, covered his eyes, and breathed out to steady himself. "Wait! What about the years they couldn't find the fish bones to add to the fertilizer? Wouldn't they have realized that there was something wrong with the formula they were using?"
"If you stop giving someone poison, will it still remain in their body?"
"Of course!"
"Well, the field had already been poisoned so badly that the flowers couldn't recover. Then these idiots likely found the fish bones the next year or two later. But it wasn't long enough for it to clear out of the flower's roots. "
"So this whole time?"
"You've been doing it to yourselves. Just like with the pepper."
"I almost wish it had been those demonic bastards."
"Nah, they would have moved faster than a thousand years. But I wouldn't be surprised if they already know about this and have prevented your sect from learning how to fix things."
"But the Irrepressible Blood Chrysanthemums aren't going to recover in the next month. Will we still be able to find a fix for the bath?"
"It's not ideal, but we can still use the doubling-up method your seniors came up with. But we'll have to find a way to purify the flower, preferably one that doesn't use an extra mint plant that just adds more impurities to it. "
He nodded.
"Does this mean our bath is... fixed? At least soon to be?"
"Who said that?"
"What? Don't we merely need to wait for the new Chrysanthemums?"
I turned toward him and looked directly into his gold eyes. "Even with the cured flowers, your bath is still considered an unorthodox method of beast contracting."
"So what? We're unorthodox cultivators. Why should we care what some righteous sects have to say about us?"
This was a problem. And not just because I needed him to keep funding my research. "Senior, what do you think will happen when the demonic cults go to war with the unorthodox sects?"
He lifted his chin proudly. "We'd join each other to fight against them."
"What if the attacks are timed so well that you'd have to turn to the righteous sects for help?"
His face turned grim. "That's not likely to occur."
"You don't know them like I do. They absolutely would scheme up something like this. Because they understand that the orthodox sects won't send reinforcements."
He nodded. "They wouldn't. They'd instead be glad because there would be one less unorthodox sect nearby."
"As a once rogue cultivator who is now tied to this place." Thanks to Little Spring and his goddamn normal not-puppy. "I don't want this sect to be destroyed."
He chuckled. "Now that we have a fix for the bath and we'll have a cure soon, we aren't going anywhere. Besides, the demonic cultivators are more likely to make trouble with the righteous sects."
I needed this guy to see the danger this place was in so he could understand why we had to make the baths align closer to the orthodox methods. All for one brat.
But I also wasn't wrong. I'd seen this horrible shit happen in my past life. And I had cursed the original author a billion times for writing that war into his goddamn plot.
"Then, let's say in the future, the demonic cult gives the righteous sects no choice but to band together and defeat them once and for all."
He chuckled. "That would be great. It would get them off our back and focused on each other."
This short-sighted... "What makes you think they'll leave us alone?"
At least he wasn't dumb, which I knew because his eyes darkened with realization. "They wouldn't, because they all erroneously believe that we're working with those demonic bastards."
"Exactly. If we want this place to grow and survive, it will need to make alliances with the orthodox sects, and one step to go about doing that would be to make your beast taming bath so flawless they'll have no choice but to accept it as orthodox and your sect as an ally. Which could be a bridge to bring the other unorthodox sects over." I paused and glared at him. "And another thing you can do to help would be to start making friendships with orthodox sects instead of antagonizing them."
"We don't antagonize them."
Fucking liar. Unfortunately, I couldn't call him out on it because I was undercover.
"They antagonize us. We just fight back."
"..." Whatever, I didn't have time to argue. "But what I'm getting at is—"
"You want to keep improving the bath and you want me to pay for it."
"Senior. It would only benefit the sect."
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Fine."
Yes! Investor get!
"With the way your mind so easily looks at the larger picture of the continent's dynamics, it makes me think you have a desire to be our sect leader in the future."
"If I have to stop doing my experiments to take care of the day-to-day minutiae of this sect, I would rather you kick me out."
No one was trapping me in a place where I had to do paperwork for more than twelve hours a day! Not anymore! I would fight tooth and nail before I let that happen again.
That said, with this sect's leader in closed door cultivation, who was handling everything? It didn't appear to be this asshole or Pearlescent Rose.
Well, whatever. It shouldn't matter to me or my tasks. Because now that I had confirmation on what made the chrysanthemums have half the spiritual energy they should, I could move forward with my plans to fix the bath. It wouldn't even be that hard.
No, the difficult part would come after, when I had to start developing an actual cure for those who had already undergone the contract bath.
Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 38🎸)
"Alchemist Linlin... You're scaring our volunteers. The extremely old-looking young disciple over there seems especially disturbed."
The man, who had a long gray beard and a bird-type beast perched on his shoulder, looked like he was about to cry. "Senior Noxious Fangstrike, can you please call me Eighth Eagle Talon?"
I furrowed my brow at the interruption of my data collection. "Shhhhh, I'm thinking!" They were so damn frustrating.
I had my mind split into six so I could keep track of our four volunteers for this round of testing, including junior Eighth and his surprisingly calm eagle spiritual beast. Of course, I also had one section organize and compile my test data while the last recorded everything in my research notes.
After spending two days concocting possible solutions with fewer impurities, I developed three viable variations on the Qi Condensation stage bath. Since the higher realm variations all used this one as the base, I could easily adjust the baths for higher realm cultivators later.
But first, we had to go through testing!
Due to the properties of the contract bath, the tests had to be performed on human cultivators. The good thing was that this fucked up world didn't have any laws against it!
Well, good for me, anyway.
I used my spiritual energy to poke the arm muscle of Eighth Eagle. ::As I suspected, the elasticity of this junior's wrinkly skin has increased. Solution 142 looks extremely promising! Unfortunately, the disciple is noticeably uncomfortable. We should ask him about that later.::
Noxious sent me a look like I was the one making him uncomfortable. What nonsense.
After scanning his internals with my divine sense, I noted down all the changes between now and the last time I recorded, ten minutes earlier.
So far, everything was going well! This wasn't at all like the past three trials where we conducted tests on solutions 102, 113, and 134.
During our tests for solution 102 — the first bath we tested on humans — we had four volunteers, two men and two women, who came out of the baths perfectly fine but with the regular side effects. Unfortunately, the fifth volunteer's skin and hair changed to a bright ethereal blue. But his spiritual beast was a Tiny Blue Luan, so I didn't know what he expected the side effects would be.
I'd made sure Noxious paid him well for his unfortunate condition.
Sadly, when we tested solution 113 on three volunteers, it failed entirely, but with no side effects. The poison master asked those old-looking disciples to come back later once the concoction had been finalized to try again.
I hadn't been expecting much from 134, but it had surprisingly nearly succeeded, showing me that I had been on the right track by removing the Sublime Mint Leaf and using the Three Fingered Extraction Technique to purify the two chrysanthemums. Unfortunately, the extra Bursting Star Pea I'd added to the bath had only reduced the effects of the impurities and didn't remove them like I needed it to.
The success of that experiment made Noxious Fangstrike believe that we'd successfully finished the bath. It took me a whole fucking half hour to convince the impatient asshole that we weren't done yet.
This all led me to create various failures until I reached solution 142. I had added two herbs to it. One was a Purifying Green Onion known for countering and removing impurities, and the last was Purple Carrot-Ginseng, often used in concoctions that allowed for the modification of a body. Essentially, it was there to help the test subjects control their transformations.
So far, the bath had changed Junior Eight by giving him pale yellow eyes, stronger muscles, feathery hair, and sharp black nails that looked almost like talons. He, along with everyone else, was nearing the end of the bath's effectiveness.
"I still think you should have fully submerged yourself and used a bamboo straw to breathe."
He appeared to shiver, then slightly leaned away from me. "Respectfully, Senior Linlin, that sounds unpleasant. I'm desperate, not crazy."
Ha! That timidness of his was why he was only at Qi Condensation despite his advanced years.
As soon as the water became completely inert, I used my spiritual energy to pull Junior Eighth out while Noxious dried him off.
"I... could have left the bath myself."
The poison master studied the volunteer as he asked, "What are the changes you experienced after your bath?"
"I can see better, my body feels fifty years younger, and..." he flexed his black nails, "I could claw someone's eyes out if I wanted to."
"Good, good," I said.
Noxious sent me a distrust-filled look and took a step closer. "And your vision, is it difficult to use or does it feel natural? Do you perhaps have an urge to build a nest or lay an egg?"
"Ah, Senior, that sounds like a personal—"
I nodded. The poison master had learned. Sometimes invasive questions were necessary. "Answer the question, junior." I clasped my hands behind my back.
He gulped. "It feels natural, but I don't have an urge to build a nest or lay eggs."
I looked at the Nascent Soul and gestured with both hands. Then I stared at the disciple. He gulped.
"I want you to close your eyes and meditate while thinking about retracting the physical changes."
The poison master rolled his eyes. He still didn't believe me when I said that I thought this would solve the issue of the sect's side effects.
After Eighth sat down, it didn't take long for the obvious changes he'd gone through to vanish. He looked just like the old man who had arrived at the bathing hall, only he looked three decades younger.
Noxious Fangstrike sucked in a breath. "Now... try to bring the changes back."
"Hold on, Senior." I loomed over the man. "First, tell me if it was difficult for you and if you felt any discomfort."
"Ah." He looked between us, then swallowed. "There was no pain… but it was a bit uncomfortable having you hover over me."
I paused. "Ridiculous! I obviously meant the bath! Now keep going."
He winced. "A-actually, I'm surprised at how easy it was to undo... It's not gone for good, right?!"
Noxious frowned.
"Now, try to bring the changes back." I held my breath.
His brow furrowed as he focused. The animalistic features — gold eyes, feathery hair and increased muscle mass — returned to his body. He smiled. "S-seniors! It's so simple! And it's not uncomfortable at all."
While this looked good, the bath affected a cultivator more than just physically. I'd seen its effect on Little Spring's energy, so I had to be certain. "How about your inner Qi? Does it feel greater at all? More polluted? Different in any way?"
He reached up and gently scratched under his eagle's neck feathers. "It's definitely stronger, but I'm certain there are fewer impurities in my body and cultivation." He paused for a second, then his eyes appeared watery. "I-I don't know how you did it, but I'm finally able to overcome my bottleneck and break through to Foundation Establishment! I can feel it."
Noxious, and I shared a hopeful and excited look. I barely managed to curb my enthusiasm. We still had other test subjects to examine. If we were unlucky one of them just might end up exactly like that Blue Luan volunteer.
***
It turned out that the others had similar experiences. The best part was that all of them felt like they could either break through to the next layer of Qi Condensation or take the next step and reach Foundation Establishment.
Essentially, we'd just helped most of these guys enter the inner sect!
Noxious stroked his chin with a shaking hand and sat down on a chair in his alchemy room.
"Junior Linlin, I think... I think we really did it!"
Ha! And he wanted to use a half-complete solution earlier.
"We'll need to do more testing with 142 to make sure it works with various spiritual beast types, volunteer ages, and cultivation realms but I tentatively agree..."
We did it! Muahahaha!
"I still can't believe it took you only three days to correct our bath."
Well, it wasn't nearly as impressive as a certain teacher protagonist, but since I didn't have his golden finger, I knew I did a damn good job.
He looked at me very seriously. "But how long do you think it will take you?"
"Unfortunately, while fixing a broken pill recipe is easy, fixing a broken person is extremely difficult."
"But you have to have some idea."
I clasped my hands behind my back. "Senior. I have considered how to repair the damage the broken bath did, but it will take a lot of trial and error. It's not simply adding the missing plants to a pill and giving it to the person. No, your disciples have been poisoned for a long time now. Not only will they need the final solution to update their contract, but they'll need an antidote. Also, something that will repair the damage that being stuck in a partial beast transformation did to their bodies."
"Just give me an estimate."
"I might be able to come up with something to repair Senior Verdant Spring in four months."
"Four months?!"
I shook my head. "He's different since his bath happened recently." And because I was familiar with his cultivation method so I knew what his Qi should feel like. "While it has damaged his body, it hasn't had enough time to thoroughly poison him like it has with your older disciples. If you want me to help you create a cure that can work for nearly every single member of this sect, it will take at least a year to come up with an initial treatment, but I should be finished by two."
"Ah... that is much worse."
"Of course, this is just an estimate based on my experience. Who knows, I could get lucky and figure something out in a week."
He shook his head. "We're all limited by time. Even immortals."
Unless one happened to fall into a damn tear in spacetime — essentially getting a second chance at life.
He sighed. "This seems like a good place for you to take a break, anyway. I heard from my niece that your band has practically finished the song you were working on. You'll want to see what they've come up with."
"They finished?!" Oh, I guess I did tell them to think about it. When I didn't return after a day, they likely decided to do what they could by themselves. Had they really overcome their creative differences to produce something badass?
The poison master nodded. "While you go do that, I'll find some Foundation Establishment, and Golden Core disciples willing to test solution 142's variations."
I said my farewells to Noxious, then rushed out of his alchemy room. As I exited through the doorway, a Nascent Soul cultivator barely avoided flying into me. The young-looking man with a pair of elk-like antlers landed beside the door and glared down at me with intense brown eyes.
After he went inside, I took a few steps away. Then I stopped. "Motherfucker."
This sect didn't have a lot of cultivators at Noxious's realm.
And I was still a spy.
A conversation between two high-level elders of this sect was just the sort of thing I needed to listen in on.
With a sigh, I used my disguise technique to lower my presence until it became non-existent, then I carefully made my way to a secluded corner near the door and wiggled a small strand of divine sense into the room.
Noxious was the first voice that came through. "Junior Sect Leader Irrepressible Wild Hoof, we've almost fixed the bath for future generations."
"That's great, but not good enough. We need a cure." I assumed this was the man taking up the day-to-day operations while the sect leader was away.
"We're close. About three years out."
That fucker. He really didn't have any faith in me. Or he was doing that thing where he lied about how long it would take only to make his superior happy by completing it ahead of schedule. Whichever.
"There isn't that much time left. Too many of our older disciples are passing away early due to the side effects. If such a number continues dying out, it will leave our sect vulnerable to those damned Leashed bastards and the demonic cult."
"Be patient. We just need a little more time."
He huffed. "Who are you to tell me to be patient?"
"Junior Sect Leader, I know you're worried, but that's no reason to do something desperate."
"What do you know?"
"Just that those bastards want a scroll that would make them unbeatable on this continent. We can't let our greed and desperation blind us to an obvious trap."
He snorted. "Who'd be trapping who? Even if we gave it to them, it's locked inside a box that can't be opened. Those idiots already massacred everyone who knew how to unlock it. It's basically worthless to them."
"I wouldn't trust that assumption."
He sighed. "Poison Master Noxious Fangstrike, look, they've already noticed our spies. They sent us their heads with an ultimatum: either we give them the scroll by the end of our Foundation Day celebration, which will earn us the solution to our problems, or they'll burn our cure and attack our sect to get the damn scroll."
"The situation may sound dire but we can't trust anything those evil cultivators have to say. So don't do anything you'll regret."
"Trust me. I won't." But the tone in that man's voice sounded like he very much was planning on doing something he'd regret. It was just that he didn't think he'd actually regret it. Which meant, he was going to ruin it for this whole goddamn sect. And since I still needed two months to find a cure for Little Spring, that meant I needed to save this fucking place!
Goddamn it. Shit just kept piling up.
It helped that I liked my band members. I didn't want to see them die when the Alchemist Guild came to flatten this sect's peaks. Or even before that when the demonic sect started a war.
Once Noxious talked to him about the new bath formula I decided I'd heard enough and left for my band's training grounds. I'd have to come up with a way to prevent the handoff from happening.
But first I needed to hear what kickass badassery Dread Lotus, Gold String, and Azure added to our song.
Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 39🎸)
When my band finished playing everything they had come up with, which included the lyrics sung and mostly written by Gold String, I was fucking floored. These guys weren't slackers at all. They'd all improved immensely while I was solving the sect's alchemy issues.
There were still a few places where the song needed something more or had to be improved for emphasis.
I cleared my throat. "The part where you sing, 'sleeping in silence, unbothered by time. Dragon beneath the waves, still and sublime.' We need to change those lyrics. It doesn't give the feeling of being injured and alone that you think it does."
Dread Lotus tapped her chin with her fan. "What about replacing it with 'Shattered sword shards, cut deep beneath the skin. Dragon abandoned by blood and by kin?'"
I pointed to her. If anything screamed injured and alone, that would be it. Holy shit.
Gold String's face turned red like he was about to argue that he would never abandon his ancestor. But then he calmed down and hung his head, likely remembering how his family did nothing to save that important figure leading to his clan's complete destruction. "Yeah, that... works for this song incredibly well."
Dread Lotus grinned. "As Sister Lin said earlier, I understood the assignment."
Wait, when did I say that? Whatever. I probably had.
I pointed out a few more places we could alter to elevate the song from pinnacle quality to perfection.
I knew for certain that the few changes I made would cause something incredible to happen once put together, so I had us practice each section of the song in separate parts. Mostly I focused on the newer parts that needed the most attention and adjustments. Then everyone practiced it in full by themselves.
***Several hours later, Little Spring stood nervously next to Noxious Fangstrike. That Nascent Soul fucker must have heard me say that we were finally ready to play in front of an audience, because he arrived just after the kid, making it hard for us to ask him to leave.
The little protagonist bit his lip and grabbed the necklace that was hidden beneath his robes. "Junior Linlin, are you sure you're ready to play? You haven't had a break in days. I didn't even see you while you were helping Senior Noxious Fangstrike."
"I'm fine. And I ate a grain liberation dan a few hours ago."
He frowned at me and crossed his arms. "That's not food."
The poison master nodded. "Junior Verdant Spring has a point. You've only been back here for half a day. Is that really enough time to finalize a song?"
I played a power chord that caused the wind to rush through the trees and blow everyone's hair. "Stop worrying and listen up!"
"Yeah, uncle. Stop worrying. You're lucky we aren't throwing you out."
He frowned and looked very sad. "How could you say that to your own beloved uncle?"
She huffed. "Fine, stay. And be surprised. This is the first time we've played this all together, so it will be a treat."
"Wait, Sister Linlin, what is the song called?"
All of us froze.
Yeah, we still hadn't come up with an official name. A song couldn't be perfect without a title!
"Shattered Shards," Gold String said.
"Boo. No!" Dread Lotus said.
"What? Do you have something better?"
"How about, 'Pure Living?'" Azure suggested.
They both frowned but said nothing — obviously not liking it, but not sure why.
I began playing. "It's called, 'Dragons Never Die.'"
Their eyes widened like they realized I'd said the most obvious thing.
Our song was guitar-heavy in the beginning, so I picked single notes in quick succession. Gold String added in his bass, blending our sounds together.
I sang the intro phrase just before Dread Lotus crashed a cymbal and began drumming, expanding the music while bringing a fullness and depth to it that was missing before.
Azure Melodic River used her keyboard to add a delicateness that would be missing without it, making the spaces where I didn't sing absolutely lovely and filled with emotion.
A healing energy I'd never felt before, not even during our practices, built up. Maybe it was because a song was never complete without an audience, or maybe it was the battle formation pulling everything together, but this was something special. Utterly beautiful.
The emotions in every line were so intense that I could feel it deep in my soul. The loneliness, the injury, the hurt. Even though I was the one singing, it felt like I was being exposed, then purified and cleansed. As if the stains on my massive soul had been bleached away. Aches and pains I had never noticed began to vanish. They had to be from the injuries I received during my failed immortal ascension.
Of course, this had the unfortunate side effect of increasing the dichotomy between my body and soul once again, but I didn't care. I wanted to be healed as well.
As we played, Little Spring had the biggest grin on his face. Even Noxious Fangstrike appeared happy, at least until a spiraling cloud formed above us. This one was ten times the size of the previous one. Which meant that our song was so perfect that the heavens wanted us to stop its creation.
As if I would ever allow that. This song was not only healing me, I could tell from the brat's expression that it was waking Ghosty up. If we didn't finish, there was no telling if he'd experience a rebound. I was not letting that happen.
Except that I didn't need to do anything because Noxious Fangstrike was already there, with his goddamn giant-ass Little Cauldron, protecting us as we played. That look on his face told me that he was so proud of his niece that he wanted to cry. He would not let her perfect song get ruined by a mere tribulation cloud.
Eight lighting strikes struck his cauldron in time to our song.
None of us stopped.
We all came together to finish the beautiful outro, and it felt like a wave of purifying energy washed over us and our practice grounds.
My mind had improved but my skin felt too tight and weak. I'd have to get used to this… or hurry up with my next tribulation. But what mattered most, was that we'd fucking done it!
I turned to congratulate everyone for playing their second perfect song, except the heavens had other plans. They opened up and sent epiphany energy into them, strengthening their bodies and internal energy. If they didn't cultivate it immediately, it would be a complete waste.
Well, I had mentioned that writing their own songs was the best way to gain enlightenment, and I hadn't been wrong.
Noxious grinned and stood in front of his niece. "Junior Linlin. You've worked too hard recently. You're starting to make me suspect that you really are a time-traveling immortal here to save the sect."
Little Spring, who had been walking over to me, tripped.
I casually stepped between the two as I laughed. "Only a fool would think that." I gestured to the three. "I assume I can leave them in your capable hands?"
He nodded and shooed me off.
Which was good, because the kid and I needed to check on Ghosty's condition.
***I appeared sitting at the stone table under the gazebo that had the best view of Fairy Lake. The spiritual energy-filled air of the space was refreshing after so long. Seriously, the week I'd spent away from here felt like a month.
Xiao Bai ran across the grass with his tongue lolling. When he reached us, he sat down like a good not-puppy.
The wind blew slightly, and I noticed that the herbs I had stored here had been planted either by the spirit of the space or by the kid.
And speaking of that annoying dragon, he flew over in his noodle-form only to suddenly appear as a golden-haired teenager.
Well, everyone was here. Now all we needed to do was to contact Ghosty McGhostFace.
Little Spring pulled the necklace out and set it on the table.
We all waited patiently.
The illusory image of a middle-aged man floated out of the soul gem to hover above the table. He still had black hair that was graying at the temples, pulled into a bun. Unlike the last time I saw him, his face looked extremely pale and many strands of his hair were out of place. He hadn't fully recovered. But he was awake!
I might have hugged him if he'd had an actual body. Instead, I placed my palm on the cool table. It wasn't like my hands had been shaking or anything. Especially not because I'd been worried about this fucker for weeks and I finally felt relieved. Not at all.
I cleared my tight throat. "Welcome back, Ghosty."
Little Spring leaned in. "Senior Ghosty! We were worried about you! How are you feeling?!"
The dragon briefly squeezed his illusory shoulder. "Humph. I knew you'd be okay."
Ghosty clasped his hands behind his back and looked up at the enchantment-filled sky. The tips of his translucent ears reddened.
"It's good to be back." Once he'd regained his composure, he turned to us. "Did you all go through a lot to heal me?"
"A lot?" I crossed my arms. "No. I only spent a better part of this month infiltrating an unorthodox sect and building up a band that was good enough to write a perfect healing song while risking both of our necks. I wouldn't necessarily call that a lot."
Little Spring looked at me, shocked. "Sister Lin! That's a bit…"
But I didn't let him stop me and continued. "Since you're worth it."
Ghosty bit his lip and our eyes met.
Little Spring's face turned red. "Oh. I thought you were being…"
What? Sarcastic? Fucking brat.
Casually, I rested my head on my hand. "I've also decided to move up the collection of supplies to create a new body for you. I think we can have one ready in fifteen to twenty years, as long as we can get out of this backwater continent."
He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off.
"This is, of course, so you don't blame us for making you use your shield to save our asses and those of the three alchemy disciples." I leaned back. Xiao Bai hopped onto my lap and I ran my hands through his soft fur.
Ghosty's jaw clenched. "Senior Lin!"
I kept going. "We're all alive right now because of you. But I think that we shouldn't keep track of things like who saves who from now on."
He looked exasperated, then nodded. "I agree. We shouldn't bother with that. And what I've been trying to say is thank you!."
Actually, I thought he'd get irritated because I'd made him overextend himself too far. Maybe even threatened to leave our group directly after I prepared a body for him. This amount of gratefulness was outside of my expectations — though it was definitely deserved.
He smiled. It made him look a little younger. Or maybe I was just an old monster. "And, Senior Lin. That was a damn good song."
I paused, then grinned.
Fuck yeah, it was.
"I'd like to hear it again sometime."
"Of course! I think you'll enjoy learning about the Dao of Rock." maybe I should introduce him to the music of Ghost. Muahahaha!
Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 40🎸)
Little Spring excitedly recounted what we'd been up to so far to Ghosty. He went over our spy mission's goal — the Scroll of 10,000 Evil Souls — how we used our badass disguises to infiltrate the sect, and how he'd started learning music and creating instruments.
The Nascent Soul calmly listened to everything he said and nodded here and there. At least until he mentioned how he and Xiao Bai went through with the contract bath.
He quickly glanced at me and asked with his eyes if I actually let him go through with something so dumb. I crossed my arms and shook my head. As if I'd ever approve of that.
Of course, the kid explained how the mistake with the bath happened and how it made him stronger. Then he switched to how awesome and badass I was to come up with a song solely to wake him up. Which was 100 percent accurate.
The Nascent Soul listened patiently to the kid until he finished.
"You both have been through a lot. I wish I could have been here to see it."
"Yeah, we wanted you here, too."
He cleared his throat. "It sounds like there isn't much time left for you to finish this mission of yours."
I grimaced. "The closer we get to the festival, the faster things are coming to a conclusion, one way or another."
Everyone turned to me. Even Xiao Bai, who was pretending to be a lapdog, looked up at me with an adorably tilted head.
"While I was there, the Junior Sect Leader, Irrepressible Wild Hoof, spoke with Noxious Fangstrike. From what I overheard, something big is about to happen."
"When did you hear this?" Little Spring asked.
I shrugged. "Not that long ago. Just before I returned to finish Dragons Never Die."
"That was a while ago. You didn't say anything."
"Well, it's not like I could have done something right away, and I wanted to wake Ghosty up as quickly as possible."
The Nascent Soul looked impatient. "I appreciate that, Senior, but don't leave us in suspense! What did you overhear?"
Seriously?! Did the guy who took forever to tell me about those damn pink convention worms talk about suspense? He dares!
Fuck. Whatever. I'd let this slide because I was glad to have him awake and healing.
"Basically, Noxious Fangstrike knows about the scroll and has no plans to hand it over."
"That's good."
"But it sounded like the Junior Sect Leader was planning to go against him secretly and give it up in exchange for a cure."
"But you're already working on one!"
"I know! And I'm getting close. Unfortunately, he is desperate to heal someone, and it can't wait the year or two it will take me to develop a comprehensive and tested treatment plan."
There was silence where not even the wind blew past us.
"Sister Lin, when is this exchange going to happen?"
"I don't know, but the easiest time would be during the most chaotic event when everyone is distracted. Whenever that is. But we can't know that for sure since it could also happen before then."
Ghosty sat in the lotus position in midair and stroked his short beard. "It will have to take place during the festival just to give you and Fellow Daoist Noxious Fangstrike a chance to figure out a cure before doing the irrevocable."
"That leaves us with a little over a week. I may be the most brilliant alchemist in the world, but even my genius self can't develop a cure for this bath by then. Plus, any treatment method I create will take weeks to go through because we'll have to detox the poison, then fix the long-term damage and finally produce a pill or bath that adds the effects of the fixed bath."
The kid looked at me in awe. "That's a lot."
I nodded. "In the meantime, people affected will still be harmed by the bath's side effects. There is nothing I can do about that." I crossed my arms. "I can't save everyone all the time and I won't try to. That would actually drive me crazy."
I could have sworn I heard the brat mutter, 'more crazy.' But that was highly unlikely because the brat I knew didn't want to get his ass handed to him because I increased his training difficulty to ultra-hardcore super hell-mode.
His eyes darted away from mine and he shoved his hands into his sleeves.
Ghosty frowned in thought. "I think you should set something up. Make it so that whatever it is will be the perfect occasion for the exchange to take place."
"Oh!" Little Spring slapped the table. It cracked a little, causing him to wince. The little gold dragon flew around us, irritated.
I patted his shoulder. "Looks like you need to practice your kicks and punches more."
He nodded. "I'll do that. But what I was going to say was that you should hold a concert!"
I frowned. "Why a concert? Setting one up would be time-consuming."
"Maybe, but it's perfect. It's loud, and if it's your band playing, then you'll be sure to draw in everybody in and outside the sect who is curious about your Dao of Rock."
"Huh." It would also be the best way to spread rock farther. Possibly even inspiring those outside the sect to play it! "Alright! Let's do it."
"Really?!"
I nodded, then grimaced. "There is just one problem."
"What?"
"If I have to perform during the exchange, how are we going to stop it? I won't let you steal it by yourself."
"Well, you made a recording tool as amazing as the one I placed on the second floor of the treasure pavilion. Isn't there a way for you to create something that takes that recording and shows it to everyone?"
What? Like those holograms of dead musicians or that Gorillaz animated band from my past-past life? That... could be possible! If I used the same process, I could even do it without an illusion formation.
But, hold on. I'd need to actually set up a concert at the festival first, and get my band to agree to play in it.
"If you can make something like that, then I'll find the person with the box, follow him, then tell you when they're about to trade. You can use the space to teleport to me!"
Ghosty frowned. "Wouldn't it be better to steal it before the swap even happens?"
I shook my head. "Not if he's too strong for us. In that case, the best moment to grab it would be during the handoff." That way neither side would know who betrayed who, and they'd likely fight each other, allowing us to leave before getting caught.
"Wait." Ghosty narrowed his eyes at us. "You two aren't going to give it to this Lord Bountiful Tenacity, are you?"
"Of course not!" We both said at the same time.
I grimaced. "He's suspicious. I think we should keep it and find a way to purify the evil souls inside it before destroying the thing. No one should have a weapon that horrific."
"Good."
I sighed. "Actually, this plan seems like a longshot — which I don't like — but let's move forward with it for now while preparing for the worst."
"The worst?"
"A war with the demonic cult." I paused. "In fact, even if those evil cultivators got their hands on the scroll, I doubt they'd leave the Irrepressible Beast Blood sect alone."
Everyone became silent as the ramifications of what I'd said hit them.
***If anyone knew how I could put on a concert during the sect's festival, Pearlescent Rose would. It took a while, but I managed to find her lecturing to a crowd of musicians for a sizable fee. Of course, I waited outside the concert hall until she finished since I couldn't afford the contribution points if I wanted to buy raw materials.
The crowd of musicians left the area as soon as she finished, which included Azure Melodic River and Dread Lotus, who had apparently both attended. They waved to me as they passed, but continued to animatedly discuss what they learned.
Those two were really becoming fast friends.
Rose stepped out once the crowd had thinned.
"Senior Pearlescent Rose!" I said.
She blinked and turned to me. "Oh! Little Linlin! I haven't seen you in forever." There were a few disciples who were also calling out to her, so she hopped onto her flying fan and used her spiritual energy to pull me up. "Let's go somewhere we can talk."
It didn't take long for her to bring me to a beautiful courtyard that was definitely reserved for a sect elder. I guessed a peak Golden Core like her was powerful enough to be one in this backwater continent.
"Finally, some quiet!" She dropped down.
A maid brought out a steaming tea set and prepared some spiritual tea before she bowed and left.
Pearlescent Rose elegantly took a sip and set her cup down.. "I've been meaning to thank you for saving my disciple."
"It was no trouble."
She grinned. "I guess I had the good fortune to meet the right person at the right time."
I straightened my back. "Obviously!"
She looked a bit startled for some reason, then nodded with a smile. "I am very grateful. You went above and beyond what I hoped. Just Let me know if there is anything I can do to repay you."
Perfect timing!
"Actually, there is."
"Oh?"
I scanned the tea with my divine sense. Once I confirmed it didn't have any poison in it, I took a sip. It wasn't as good as Little Spring's, but it tasted pleasant, had a light jasmine flavor, and was filled with spiritual energy.
"I'm going to hold an outdoor concert during the Founding Day festival to introduce the healing power of rock to everyone."
Her expression went from happy and expectant, to frowning sadly. "Oh, no. That sounds like such a good idea! One I want to see!"
"Then what's the issue?"
"I don't think I could get the elders planning the festival onboard with a concert for just your band. It would take up too much space for something that would only last a few incense sticks worth of time."
"Even if one of the players is Dread Lotus?"
She nodded, then winced. "While I'm grateful to you, many of the elders heard how you berated Little Teasing Mouse. They are not happy, but I have done my best to keep them away from you."
Ah... shit. That also explained why no one had been messing with me over how I scolded that black hole aura. Who could have guessed this would come back to bite me in the ass?
Wait. It didn't have to be just us. I could do what the entertainment news stations did in my past-past life and use people's anger to control them. They were already eager to believe that I was the big bad bitch who yelled at their precious mouse child. Then what if…
I grinned. "Then how about we hold a battle of the bands to see who can defeat me to avenge Little Teasing Mouse?"
She looked confused. "What's a battle of the bands?"
"Imagine a stage surrounded by row upon row of benches filled with adoring audience members. Each band gets up and performs a set of the best soul-healing music they can. Then a team of judges gives each one a score from one to ten. The highest overall wins a grand prize."
Her eyes grew wide.
"Of course, the others won't have a chance against my band. We're too good."
"Oh! That sounds incredibly fun! It could be the highlight of the festival! Everyone in the sect, even the Nascent Soul seniors, will want to see that. Especially since it's for Little Teasing Mouse."
Everyone? Fuck. Just how popular was that rat girl?
Whatever. If they all showed up, it would be perfect!
"I'll contact the elders and convince them to set this up. Once it's settled, I'll give you the details... but I think they'll have a Qi Condensation battle earlier in the day, then a Foundation Establishment one closer to the end. Will your students be up for being the band to beat as well?"
"Of course!" And if not, I'd get Three Drops and Shadow Panther into shape so they would be ready for it. It had been a while since I visited, so it would be good to see just how far they'd developed without me hovering over their shoulders.
She smiled. "Perfect. I look forward to hearing your rock music again. Especially after I heard your band called down a heavenly tribulation, not once, but twice."
I grinned. "Well, I can't promise to shock the audience with tribulation lightning, but we'll still be the best band out there!"
She chuckled. "I wish you well. But I think you'll have some steep competition."
"Oh?"
She nodded. "We have many talented musicians who have come close to calling down a music tribulation before."
I looked at her skeptically.
"Really! One of them is even the lead in an ensemble called Whispering Brook. And another is a cultivator named Irrepressible Roaring Thunder, who just created his own group."
Two bands who were close to our level? "Perfect! A battle of the bands without real competition isn't as fun."
Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 41/52🎸)
Just after I left Rose's place, Little Spring sent me a telepathic message. ::Sister Lin! I forgot!"
::What did you forget?::
::There was something I wanted to give you.::
::It's alright. We have both been too busy. Speaking of which, I convinced Pearlescent Rose to help us set up a battle of the bands event which will be even bigger than just a small concert.::
::That's great! It will be the perfect distraction. Wait. Please don't let me forget about your gift."
This poor kid was so busy. Fuck, I was as well. ::Alright. I'll try. Actually, how about I—::
"Junior Linlin," Noxious Fangstrike interrupted my thoughts with his sound transmission. "I need to see you. Come and meet me by your band members. They're still cultivating, by the way."
They were still absorbing epiphany energy?!
I flew back towards the outdoor practice area. ::Looks like my poison teacher needs to see me for some reason so I'll have to meet you another time.::
::Yes, sister Lin.::Â He sounded so down.
I was glad I couldn't get attacked by his weaponized adorable face, or I may have cracked.
::Don't worry. I won't forget. It just might take me a while to remember. What is it, anyway?::
::That's a surprise!::
***As soon as I landed, I noticed that my band members really were still cultivating. But it seemed like the heavenly energy would finish up in the next few minutes. In fact, Dread Lotus had almost reached the peak of Foundation Establishment.
Noxious Fangstrike looked at her with a doting smile. Then he glanced down at me and scowled.
"What is it, senior?"
"Do you think it's possible to have a cure ready in a week?"
I sighed. "I know you have faith in me now that you've seen what I can do. I am a once-in-a-billion-year genius, after all. But even I will need more than a week to develop a treatment. As I told you before."
"This is important."
"If I could do it, I would!"
He grimaced. "Thought so."
He cleared his throat and handed me a pair of earring defensive tools that were at the Nascent Soul level. They almost looked like small red talismans on gold earrings.
"Are these for Dread Lotus?"
"They're for you, you fool."
How dare he call me that! "Then what about her?"
"She has enough defensive tools."
Oh, right. As the princess of the sect, she would.
It seemed like Noxious Fangstrike was already preparing for the sect to get attacked by demonic cultivators. He just wasn't mentioning anything because he couldn't risk spies learning about his preparations.
I looked out at my adorable band members. They had no idea what was coming.
Once these three finished, I should make my own preparations. Which included a hologram recording of myself, some defensive tools, and healing pills. Lots of healing pills.
Seriously, fuck the demonic sect.
"I want you and Dread Lotus to enjoy the festival. This will be her first one in a long time, after all. But as soon as it ends, head back to the sect. Don't delay."
I nodded.
"I'll be busy for the next week, so I can't teach you anything else."
"What's going on?" Of course, I already knew.
But I was surprised that he wasn't going to let a possible war ruin his niece's holiday, since she could finally go out like a normal cultivator. It kind of made me respect him a bit.
"It's probably nothing, but..." one of his alchemy disciples ran over and handed him a bag. He tossed her a spirit stone, and the girl ran off.
I could tell that he checked the contents before he nodded and passed the bag over to me. "I think you should spend your free time over the next week concocting healing pills. The sect will pay you for your work."
Was he a fucking mind reader? No. We just had similar thought processes when it came to war preparations.
I looked over the ingredients. He had included everything I needed to mass produce a generic healing dan. Which made sense, since my speed was absolutely impressive.
"If I have any free time, I'll work on these."
He nodded, then paused. "Actually. Make sure you and Dread Lotus leave the festival before it's finished. Long before."
There it was. "Your niece will be fine."
A vein bulged on his forehead. "Yes, I'm concerned with her well-being, but I'm worriedabout you! You're the best chance our sect has of crawling out of our spiral of decline. Don't you dare die before we develop a cure!"
Ah. Well, he wasn't wrong. Also, the weather seemed to get a little warm. "I'll be fine. You should know that I take my safety seriously." I put on the earrings he gave me. "See?"
He nodded.
"By the way, we're going to play during the festival's battle of the bands. You'll come watch us, right?"
He snorted. "You couldn't keep me away if you tried."
The heavenly energy pouring down on Dread Lotus, Gold String, and Azure finally let up. They slowly came out of their meditations.
"I guess it's time for me to take my leave. Remember to stay safe. If you die, I'll kill you."
Ha!
He approached Dread Lotus and said something.
She beamed at him. "Thank you, uncle!"
Then he said his goodbyes to everyone. I waved him off and turned to my band, who had all reached the pinnacle of Foundation Establishment.
"Congratulations on your epiphanies!"
"Thank you, band leader!" They said. Every one of them looked incredibly ecstatic. Sadly, I'd have to ruin that.
"Unfortunately, we don't have time to celebrate!"
It was like I had just drained them of their excitement. Their shoulders slumped. Azure even put away the bottle of medicinal wine and glasses she'd apparently brought out while I wasn't looking. "Fine, you can have a short break to celebrate, but once you get back, you'll have to learn a few more songs. This time we'll focus on offensive music, as well as formations that will allow us to go against mid-realm Gold Core cultivators and possibly fend off an attack or two from a Nascent Soul expert."
Their eyes grew wide. Yeah, that was about what I expected.
"We may be weak by ourselves, but, together, we can beat someone in a higher realm."
Gold String looked extremely focused now that I was finally holding up my end of our bargain.
"One more thing. We're going to take part in the first annual Battle of the Bands that is being held at the festival this year. So, you'll have to continue practicing all the rock songs I taught you so far."
"Uh." Dread Lotus raised her drumsticks. "Sister Linlin, what is a Battle of the Bands?"
I grinned. "Just a competition where every Foundation Establishment demonic musician in the sect will try to outperform our healing music. And they'll fail... as long as you keep practicing." muahahaha!
***I taught them five war songs. Their effects ranged from confusion, like Stairway, to a full-on attack on the soul, like 'Give Up' a song that was heavily inspired by Linkin Park's 'Given Up.'
Of course, after I explained their parts, I left them to practice by themselves because I had something very important to do. Something that forced me to travel outside the sect to the city because all the damn treasure pavilions refused to sell me the items I wanted at a decent price.
Fucking Little Teasing Mouse and her followers. They were like a cult.
I entered the smithy and ordered spiritual aluminum, crystal recording orbs, and several handfuls of illumination pearls. Apparently, I'd have to make glass and a fog machine myself.
Damn backwater continent.
While I waited with my hands clasped for the woman handling the order to come back, I felt something cold slam into my palm and curled my fingers around it. When I brought it out from behind me, I found a jade slip which I immediately placed inside my ring.
I scanned the area with my divine sense but noticed no one who appeared out of place. Whoever handed this to me was very good.
Seriously, who the fuck was trying to get my attention? Maybe I should have let Little Spring come with me for backup. No. It was still better that we looked like we didn't know each other outside the sect. The last thing I wanted was City Lord Bountiful Tenacity to realize I had a connection to the kid. He could easily become a target in an effort to force my hand.
Now that I was thinking about him... this was probably from one of his spies.
The girl returned and placed the items I ordered on the desk. After paying for them, I swept them into my ring and pulled out the jade.
As I walked, I hid it beneath my sleeve and brought it to my temple as if I was brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes.
It demanded to know if I had stolen the scroll. And if I had, it told me to meet the city lord at the mansion immediately. If I hadn't, I was supposed to record my progress on the slip and leave it nearby.
As if I would trust that asshole with a damn scroll that could kill thousands.
I wiped the rude demands from the jade and wrote a simple, 'No,' and left it inside a crack in a wall.
Let the fucker suffer from a lack of knowledge. Muahahaha!
Besides, there were too many things I had to do. Like a war to prepare for where there will be demonic cultivators, I'll have to slaughter. I had no time to think about getting this asshole the information he wanted.
***
As soon as I returned to my immortal cave, I thought about meeting up with the brat to see that surprise he concocted. Of course, that was when Gold String sent me a secret sound transmission. "Sister Linlin! We need you! Hurry!"
Goddamn it. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. We weren't being attacked by the demonic sect yet, right?
As soon as I arrived, I overheard a girl with bright green hair and a spiritual parrot of the same color on her shoulder yell at Dread Lotus. "It's not fair!"
Spoiler [Image Link]
Two men with crossed arms stood beside her and glared threateningly at my band members.
Dread Lotus clasped her hands behind her back, exactly like I preferred to. "Well, junior Brilliant Song Bird, if you wanted a practice area, you should have reserved one."
The girl opened her mouth, speechless. "Nobody can afford that but you!"
She shrugged like it wasn't her problem. Classic Dread Lotus.
I locked eyes with Gold String. ::I thought there was a problem? She's handling everything just fine.::
He winced. ::They looked like they were about to start something. I thought you'd want to join in since we're a band.::
I grinned. ::Well done.:: The band that fights together, stays together.
Song Bird's face turned red as if she was going to pass out from anger. Then she seemed to notice our keyboardist and crossed her arms. "Ah! if it isn't Sister Azure Melodic River. I'm surprised to see you here." She threw a strand of green hair over her shoulder. "The last time I saw you, you were begging me to play another duet with you."
Azure paled. Her eyes briefly darted to Dread Lotus.
"I know! If you convince Senior Dread Lotus here to let us borrow your practice grounds for just a few days, I'll gladly play with you again." She winked.
Azure's jaw firmed, and she took several steps forward. "I'm good. You made it very clear that you're no longer interested in duets and I've moved on. This is my band now."
"Oh, come on. How can you resist? Even just last month, I heard you talk about how you missed playing with me. You called my voice — what was it? Sweet and sensual?"
Wait... Oh! Damn. Brilliant Song Bird was Azure's ex. And she was trying to use her lingering emotions to get our practice ground? Fuck that.
I finally landed my flying sword between Azure and the irritating bird-girl. "So, who do we have here bothering us?"
Dread Lotus glared at the three. "They're Whispering Brook."
The group Pearlescent Rose mentioned had a chance to beat us?
I chuckled. "Why should we give our practice grounds to our competition?"
"To make things fair," one of the large men beside her said.
"When did we care about fairness in this sect?"
Everyone silently agreed with me. I assumed. Some of them did look at me like I was crazy but, really, who didn't now and then?
"Fine, I didn't want to resort to this, but if you don't give us half of your practice grounds, I'll let the whole sect know how terrible you are."
I shrugged. "They already think I'm the worst."
She paused for a second. "Well, some of them don't."
"Oh, wonderful..." I grinned. "Ha! Did you think I'd say that? If I cherished the good opinions of others, I'd have to care about their criticisms. And that's too exhausting."
"D-don't you care about saving face?"
"Can you eat it?" I grinned. I'd always wanted to say that since it appeared so much in every damn Xianxia, I'd ever read. "Can it help you cultivate? Does it make you stronger? Since the answer is 'no,' why should I give a damn?"
She opened her mouth in shock, and the bird on her shoulder did the same with its beak. Then her expression hardened. "Oh, you'll regret those words."
She was definitely planning on spreading gossip.
"You know. I have the perfect song for you." It was a ballad inspired by The Offspring's 'You're Gonna Go Far, Kid.'
I pulled out my guitar and started playing. The lyrics described a situation where someone spread rumors about an innocent person. A crowd believed them. Everything seemed like it was going to work out for the rumor spreader until they ended up getting their ass handed to them and they wound up dead.
It really was very much like this current bullshit.
By the time I finished playing, all three of Whispering Brook's group members had faces that went from red to white.
"Brilliant Song Bird, let's find another practice area," the large man beside her said.
"F-fine." She lifted her chin. "You made your point." She flicked her sleeve behind her and stormed out with her followers.
I turned to Azure Melodic River. "What did you even see in her?"
She shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I say? I was blinded by her beautiful voice. Though she's not as good as Dread Lotus... or you."
Really? I was the afterthought? The lead singer of our band? Whatever. Fangirls were going to stan.
"Well, I guess we have to beat her to show her that you've moved on?"
Her gaze grew determined. "Absolutely."
Dread Lotus squeezed Azure's shoulder and smiled viciously. "Let's crush them."
Story 10 - The Spy Who Rocked Too Hard (Part 42/52🎸)
Since I was there, I listened to my band members individually and corrected them on our battle songs. Also, I made doubly sure everyone could play the song that melts faces correctly. After that, I had promised to meet up with my little students.
Three Drops Silent Toxin had moved into a courtyard with Shadow Panther so they could practice together. When I flew there, they were doing their own things.
The first thing I did after I landed was check Three Drops' body cultivation progress using my divine sense. Thanks to the cure I'd found, he'd reached the equivalent of the sixth layer of Qi Condensation. That was shockingly fast.
"Keep up the good work, and you'll be joining the inner sect in a year or two."
He looked excited. "Thank you, senior!"
Next, I went over to the massive table outside to check on Shadow Panther. Bone pieces and spiritual silk threads were spread all over the surface. She was in the middle of creating a second human-shaped puppet based on the first one we'd put together. She proudly held up a joint.
"Take a look at this."
"You need to shave off a couple of micrometers right here so it can move easier."
"H-how can you tell?!"
I grinned. "Divine sense, and many years of practice."
She marked the section I pointed to with a stick of charcoal and frowned intently at it.
"Alright, you two. Pick up your instruments!"
While I waited for them to set up, I threw a handful of formation flags into the air and used my spiritual energy to send them flying. They landed in a near-perfect soundproof formation around my students.
When they looked at me, prepared to practice, I grinned.
"I already told you about the battle of the bands."
"Yes, senior." They looked nervous.
"Are you ready to fight for your teacher's honor?"
They glanced at each other, then shook their heads.
I expected a more enthusiastic response, but... "That's fine. We still have a week to prepare. Now, let's hear why you're not ready and see if we can't solve those issues."
Shadow Panther cautiously said, "Senior Linlin, we just started learning. How can we possibly go up against musicians who've been practicing for decades?"
Three Drops nodded like it was obvious.
If we went by their logic, then a Xianxia protagonist with a year of training and cultivation shouldn't be able to beat a young master with a decade of practice and the best pills. But it happened all the damn time. Including in this fucked up universe.
With my hands behind my back, I began walking around them. "Age doesn't matter. Experience, while important, doesn't matter."
They both looked at me like I was crazy. These fuckers.
I stopped and pointed toward them. "What matters is that you have immense talent and the ability to play the best songs in the Dao of Rock! Ones that will outshine anything musicians at your level can perform." I grinned. "Can you trust me?"
"Yes, Senior!"
I knew I could count on these two!
***
The rest of the week passed in a blur. I did not have a single moment to rest or meet up with Little Spring. Instead, I had to spend every waking minute preparing. I concocted various pills, checked on my badass band, and used my knowledge of my past-past life's technology while applying it to the spiritual tools I developed in this one to create a super kick-ass hologram.
Oh, I also checked in on my student's two-man-two-puppet band from time to time. They weren't perfect, but they were steadily improving.
It was a wild fucking week.
The few times I did see Little Spring, he was busy with his own war preparations. From what I saw, that was mostly practicing the sword techniques I taught him, and working with Xiao Bai to become a better beast trainer. Or something.
Actually, I wasn't too sure. While heading to another practice session, I'd seen him playing fetch, so I assumed that was what he was doing.
Once Xiao Bai had returned with the big stick Little Spring commanded him to sit, which the dog did while looking heart-stoppingly adorable. After feeding him a treat, Little Spring pointed to where Ghosty chatted with the gold dragon. The not-beast ran up to him and bit his arm.
Well, it was more accurate to say he attempted to bite his arm and instead just flew through his projection a few times before getting grumpy and trotting back to the kid while sulking from his perceived betrayal.
Just a normal boy doing normal things with a completely mundane pet. It had been nice to see.
Wait! Goddamn it! The not-dog was getting into my head again!
Aside from the fact that the puppy was definitely not normal, I couldn't help but feel like I was forgetting something. Well, whatever. I was sure I'd figure it out later. I wasn't too worried since I'd already completed everything on my 'Lin's Badass List of War Preparations For a Safe-ish Time.' It only took hard fucking work and a week with absolutely no sleep or rest.
***
On the morning of the festival everything that we could do at the last minute was done. At that point, there was only getting through the day and doing our best before a goddamn war started. Because even if the Wild Hoof managed to trade the evil-ass scroll for the cure, we knew it wouldn't end so simply. Especially once they found it locked inside a box that they couldn't open.
We had a reason to believe that the scroll was on the second floor of the treasure pavilion. Rather than focus on following the junior sect leader — who might not have the damn thing — Little Spring and I decided to pick up our recording tool and check to see if someone was caught taking the evil thing out. That meant we had to pull it out from under everyone's noses.
It was time to spy!
We walked up the stairs together toward the second floor of the pavilion.
::Sister Lin. The security here is no joke. We won't be able to call it to us and expect no one to notice.::
::Don't worry. I'll distract them. You just need to grab the tool.::
::How are you planning on distracting them?::
I straightened my spine. ::That's easy. My existence is enough of a distraction.::
::... Uh, Sister Lin, I don't think it works that way.::
::Just stay behind me and call for the tool when everyone least expects it.::
He nodded, and I took the lead.
A Golden Core cultivator stood between me and the second floor. She crossed her arms and glared down at me as if she dared me to come up. So I did. I didn't stop until I was two steps from the top.
"The only ones allowed up here are those with approval or with a token. Do you even have one?"
I grinned. "No. But I'm working with Poison Master Noxious Fangstrike. You wouldn't prevent his assistant from entering the second floor, would you?"
She glared down at me and scoffed. "I haven't heard anything about that."
"Impossible! Everyone knows I fixed the sect's Beast Blood Bath."
"Not me."
"Well, if you weren't stuck up here, then maybe you would."
Her eyes narrowed on me. "Yeah. No. I think you're that girl who hurt our Little Teasing Mouse's feelings."
"Are you saying one child's emotions are more important than the entire sect's wellbeing?!" With how they protected that girl, it was like the genre switched to a damn Otome Isekai novel. Was I going to encounter a psychotic Duke of the North with black hair and red eyes or something?
That rat girl certainly had the halo for it.
"What I'm saying is that you can't come up here until you have approval or until you get a token!"
"I see. So you really want to upset Senior Noxious Fangstrike?! Do you know how furious he'll be?"
Crack! A loud noise sounded from the doorframe as a tiny ball the size of a bead flew through the wood and into Little Spring's hand.
Fuck!
I punched the door frame, causing it to shatter even more and hide the path of the tool.
Little Spring tugged on my robes. "Junior sister Linlin! Please calm down! We can just talk to Senior Noxious Fangstrike! They'll have to let us in then."
The Golden Core cultivator pulled out a whip. I formed several hand seals, creating a shield that glimmered like a thousand interconnected stars shining within a blue nebula. The whip struck, causing it to shatter.
My stomach dropped as I fell backward down the stairs. My back slammed into the kid and we plummeted to the bottom floor. My bony elbow must have struck his diaphragm because he groaned.
Everyone in the pavilion turned towards us with wide eyes.
Awkwardly, I rolled off him and jumped to my feet. While straightening my robes, I yelled, "You'll be hearing from me again!"
Little Spring stood, and I grabbed his arm. ::Let's get the fuck out of here before they make us pay for damages.::
The Golden Core woman started casually walking down the stairs. Her eyes filled with rage and her hands clenched into fists.
She absolutely planned to beat us up if we didn't leave.
Motherfucker. If we were going to save this sect, then we didn't have time for this shit.
::Sister Lin, let's run!::
We both used Impossible Leap to reach the pavilion's door in a flash.
The woman followed us like a serial killer who knew she could catch us at any moment. She didn't even bother running.
Gold String suddenly entered the crowded pavilion. The kid and I shared a look, silently agreed, grabbed the bassist under both arms, and ran out.
His eyes went wide. "Wait. Sister Linlin! What's going on?!"
"Now's not a good time to buy a spiritual tool," Little Spring said. A few yards outside, we released him and hopped onto our flying swords.
I pointed to Gold String. "Hey, I'll see you before the concert. Get ready to kill it out there."
"Sister Linlin. We're playing healing music. That is the opposite of killing it!"
Goddamn it. That was just slang!
I waved him off as both Little Spring and I raced towards my immortal cave before the Golden Core cultivator decided if she wanted to run after us.
***
We entered the space right in front of Fairy Lake. Since there was no time to lose, I held out my hand. The kid placed the recording tool on my palm.
I used a hand gesture to stop the recording and increase it to a reasonable size. With another gesture, I had the video play in reverse.
I saw the two of us fly backward towards the pavilion. We stepped off our flying swords, grabbed onto Gold String, and pulled him toward the door where we released him. Then we suddenly appeared in the stairwell.
The kid grimaced as the image on the sphere showed us fumbling awkwardly on the ground. Yeah, that could have gone better.
"Isn't there a way to make it go faster?"
"Not if we don't want to miss the person picking up the scroll."
In the video, we floated upwards towards the top of the stairs. A whip attack struck, causing the Starfield Shield to form around it and solidify before vanishing. I formed the seals in reverse.
Damn, I created those perfectly.
"Here, watch this."
I played it forward and in slow motion so he could see how beautifully I completed the shield and learn from it.
He gave me a look I couldn't figure out. "Sister Lin. We need to find the guy fast."
"Sure, but you can still learn from me. Really, I should use these videos in your training sessions more often."
"Sister Lin, please?" He looked at me with his big eyes and slightly flattened puppy ears.
The kid used an adorableness attack. It was super effective.
"Alright, let's keep going." I reversed the video.
Its perspective moved as it slammed through the wood of the doorframe and embedded into the wall. Then we waited several boring minutes until someone with blue hair walked backward onto the upper floor. He reached the counter, where he pulled a giant spiritual fan out of his bag and placed it on the countertop. The short guy acting as a clerk picked it up and brought it to the back room.
"I guess that's not him."
I nodded.
The video kept playing in reverse and the man left.
Shortly after that, the security guard jumped behind the counter and gazed lovingly into the eyes of the small clerk. His face turned a deep red, then he hugged the tall Golden Core woman and... I shielded Little Spring's eyes.
Seriously? They were a couple?! Scandalous. Not that I gave a shit or was actually offended. I just wasn't big on watching a private moment between loving partners.
"Sister Lin, why can't I watch?"
"Because this shouldn't be spread around."
After the gratuitous make-out session, the two separated and returned to their posts.
I lifted my hand off the kid's eyes right as a black-haired man walked in holding onto a long thin box.
I paused it.
Why was someone carrying something out and not putting it inside their spatial ring? That was just asking for someone to steal it.
I kept playing until I reached the part where he came in. Then I played it and used a twisting knob gesture to turn the volume up.
He placed a gold token on the counter with a clack. The little clerk glanced down at it and paled.
"I thought the sect decided not to take this out? What about—"
"As you can see, the junior sect leader changed his mind," the man's cold voice echoed through the room with finality.
"Y-yes. I'll..." He licked his lips. "I'll bring it out right away!" The clerk rushed into the backroom.
I focused on our target's back and memorized what he looked like from behind. Since Little Spring needed to know this too, I pointed out the odd way the man stood and the way he tapped two fingers on the counter as he waited impatiently.
A few minutes later, the clerk returned holding the same box I saw earlier and set it down while picking up the special token. He bowed deeply, and the suspicious man turned to leave. I paused it to get a better look at the guy's face.
He had black hair, cold yellow eyes, and panther ears on top of his head. I memorized his face which was fairly generic and not very attractive. As he walked away, every step held so much power that I was sure he was a Golden Core cultivator, at least.
I focused on the box. We had to grab the right one because there was no way I was letting this thing get into the hands of the demonic sect.
Little Spring leaned down and also studied the image. "Hey, Sister Lin, does this have an enchantment on it that prevents it from entering a storage bag?"
I smoothed a strand of his white hair. "Good work noticing that! It does, which means that this guy will have it on him right now."
"If that's the case, then we just have to find him before the handoff and steal it!"
"Of course!" I grinned. Though that would be easier said than done.
"Actually, can we go have fun at the festival while we look for him!"
Well, it would be nice to take a break before the shit hit the flying spiritual fan. It had been a long fucking week with no time for rest.
"Alright, let's do that."
The kid jumped in excitement and accidentally bumped into my hand, causing it to move slightly. The video played again.
"This is bad... this is really bad," the small clerk said while biting his nail. "Even if we give the demonic sect that scroll, there is no way they'll let us go. And in the off chance they do, we won't escape from the wrath of those stupid righteous sects..."
"Hush, I know. But don't worry. I'll be here to protect you."
"Oh, Senior Sister!" They embraced.
And that was enough of that. I turned it off.
We both pretended that we hadn't seen that last part.